"One time this group of young 20-somethings came into my bar. One of them was obviously very drunk. He couldn't make direct eye-contact and he had a severe case of the wobbles, let's call him 'Keg-Stand.' I made the whole group of people their drinks, and told Keg-Stand all I could give him was water. He complained and grudgingly took the water over to a table with his friends. Soon after, one of the others in the group orders two more brews, and when I'm not paying attention gives one of them K-Stand. After some time, I spotted him drinking and calmly walked over and took his drink away. The guy, almost by gut reaction, took a swing at me. That was a first for me, and I've been at this gig for a while. He ended up hitting a barstool and injured his hand. Fortunately, one of my regulars grabbed him by the back of his upper-arm and we took Keg-Stand and his drink-buying friend outside. Friggin' Lallapalooza, man. (Source)
"I'm not a bartender but I worked in the kitchen of a bar. I walked into work and get back into the kitchen when immediately our youngest cook, who was just getting off work, comes back and says 'There's some dude wandering around back here, I think he's looking for the bathroom.' We have extremely easy to find customer bathrooms as soon as you walk in the door, and we also have a bathroom in the back for staff. Anyways, we walk back and can't find him anywhere. I finally open up the freezer and he's standing there looking the other way. I start saying 'hey man, you need some help finding you're way ba....WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?' I look down and see a huge pile of pee on the freezer floor and some real wet boxes of wings. Dude had to pay for like 5 boxes of wings and was banned." (Source)
Not my story but my friend's. He had already been drinking heavily and decided he wanted to do some more. So he headed for the bar, but tripped over his own foot and stumbled. This was spotted by a bouncer and he was quickly removed from the bar. He stumbles down the street 20 meters and then needs to throw up. He holds up his hand to stop himself from spewing, but instead it explodes all over his hand and he proceeds to bend over and empty his stomach in a low lying hedge. He straightens up and wipes his mouth and gets ready for the drunken stumble home when a girl (who had previously been kicked out) walks towards him and grabs his vomit covered hand in an attempt to convince the bouncers that they were just a happy couple going out for a drink. They walk, vomit covered hand in hand, up to the bouncers and confidently attempt walk in. She is stopped at the door and he breezes past and back into the bar, ready for round two." (Source)
"I'm in Vegas, playing poker at MGM. I tell the bartender to bring me two drinks every time she comes out, drop one off to me first and I'll finish it before she brings me the second. I tip well, this works, and I get very drunk very fast. I'm normally a pretty good card player, but for some reason, on this day, I could do no wrong. I swear I won a pot once when I had one of my hole cards wrong. So I'm drunk, young, cocky, and begin talking crap. Like, a LOT of trash talk, to all the other players. Eventually, a pit boss comes over, quickly grabs me, makes me pick up my chips and has me walked out. When I ask why, he explains to me that one of the people I was taunting at the table was not the kind of guy you want to do that to, and that I was pretty close to getting into a lot more trouble than I could handle." (Source)
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