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A Father's Day Well Spent
A Father's Day Well Spent

While the clarity of that ginormous package on the left is quite alarming, we're still confused as to what was trying to be communicated on that way too well done hamburger patty.

G'day Mate?
G'day Mate?

Flowers are what make a cake feminine, flowers. Not whatever this is that makes the cake oddly take on the shape of the down under.

It's A Sausage Party.
It's A Sausage Party.

That's one disturbing looking dancing "sausage." But hey, who are we to judge? To each their sausage-loving own.

A Royal Mistake
A Royal Mistake

That awkward moment when you want to give your princess the castle of her dreams for her birthday and you're left with a throne of penises.

That's one way to teach the birds and the bees.
That's one way to teach the birds and the bees.

We're not even sure what this was supposed to be in the first place. But, whatever it was intended to be, we can almost say for certain it was not made to look like a penis for a four year old. Unless the parents are seriously, seriously disturbed.

A Pear Or A...?
A Pear Or A...?

"On the occasion of the unveiling of the "pear" tree." Really? A pear? That's what you see? You must have been watching Princess Diaries a little too long, 'cause this cake doesn't look like any Genovian pear I know.

A Little Naughty Sweet Treat
A Little Naughty Sweet Treat

And the gates to the lovely castle were forever closed (or open depending on the gal). At least the cupcakes look delish.

Pip, Pip, Cheerio!
Pip, Pip, Cheerio!

Happy 4th of July all you naughty Americans! But seriously, is that supposed to be a firework or...? Did we miss the memo on this celebration?

There Are No Words
There Are No Words

Oh dear, what is even going on here. There's bodies flung everywhere and strange creatures riding even stranger-looking objects. This is not okay. Nor will it ever be okay as a cake design.

Bang, Bang Baby
Bang, Bang Baby

Welp, that's one way to celebrate our country. Might as well go out with a bang.

We Started From The Bottom...
We Started From The Bottom...

Now we're most definitely still at the bottom of the totem pole with this awful take on a Thanksgiving turkey. That's one wrinkly turkey...

That's one long hose.
That's one long hose.

Hopefully they have better cake designers in China.

Take A Ride On My Big Orange Carrot
Take A Ride On My Big Orange Carrot

This cake topping is quite horrifying on SO many levels. Carrot riding babies, yeehaw...

Leaning Castle Of Peen
Leaning Castle Of Peen

This one takes the cake. Pun most definitely intended. We can't help but laugh at this disastrously slutty cake.

Yoda And His Stick
Yoda And His Stick

May the force be with you and your stick.

That's A Big Catch
That's A Big Catch

He's really reelin' in the big one. He can't even hold it up right.

Peens And Turkeys
Peens And Turkeys

That's one big...turkey.

The heart wants what it wants.
The heart wants what it wants.

And for this cookie cake we'll draw a nice pair of hanging balls. Classy. Real classy.

Big Purple Balls
Big Purple Balls

What a classic example of a smart ass who took the writing a little too seriously. That is, unless Coach Tom really does have big purple balls...but that's a little much to put on a cake don't ya think?!

Gobble Gobble?
Gobble Gobble?

Next time go for a real roasted turkey, not a cake version that looks like a sexually disturbing toy you might find in a sex shop. K thanks. Your grandma's brittle eyes thank you too.

Peppa Peen Pig
Peppa Peen Pig

Oh Peppa Pig. What a cute, family-friendly show for those youngins at home. That is until she gets turned into an oddly sexual looking cookie. Shield those eyes now! We're not even sure how this was even supposed to look like a pig in the first place!

Hairy Wizard
Hairy Wizard

You're a wizard Harry...or just a hairy penis. Either or, the choice it's yours.

And on this day of thanks a weird creature was born.
And on this day of thanks a weird creature was born.

Is that a turkey? Or a mildly disturbing unborn child just waiting to burst out? We're not sure, but we'd like to never have to see that on a cookie cake again.

You Just Gotta Ignite The Light
You Just Gotta Ignite The Light

Baby you're a firework? Come on let your colors burst! Yep, it's been decided. This cookie cake could have definitely gone without the added explosion.

Deflowering
Deflowering

Sometimes little girls birthday cakes look like their favorite princess or their favorite animal, and then other times, well, they turn out too look like something no little girl should know about yet. This little girl got deflowered a little too early if you ask us.

Gotta Teach Them Young?
Gotta Teach Them Young?

Oh dear, they did not go there. Who knew one little line could drastically change a cake that much. This baby will definitely be scarred for life...

Palm Trees And Warm Breeze
Palm Trees And Warm Breeze

These are just bad. Real, real, real bad. The tree even has ALL the hairy details...

Happy Turds-giving!
Happy Turds-giving!

And a Happy Thanksgiving to you too? This just looks too realistic to even attempt to consume a piece of this cake. We're pretty sure the longer you look at it the grosser it becomes.

A Castle Fit For A Princess?
A Castle Fit For A Princess?

Yep, it's settled. That design looks nothing remotely like the picture what so ever. Maybe the artist had other things on their mind or really is just that terrible at using icing to paint.

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