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A True Leftover

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A True Leftover

"My wife was out of town on business and so some friends asked me if I'd like to join them for dinner. I said, "oh, thank you but it's ok, I can fend for myself" and my friend's wife replied, "really, it's no problem, we're just throwing together some leftovers." Ok, fine, sounds great. I arrive at their house and we sit down for dinner and I served a BLT sandwich. With a bite taken out of it. Like, someone had made a sandwich, taken one bite, decided not to eat it, put it back in the fridge and now I was being served it as a leftover. F'ing WEIRD"

Maybe You're Thirsty

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Maybe You're Thirsty

"Not me, but my father. My father had a friend that had recently gotten engaged to a really nice woman that my father described as "the worst cook in the world". One afternoon he was invited over to their home for lunch. He went over to see his friend, but when he was offered lunch, which was pork chops and mashed potatoes, he declined and made up that something was wrong with his mouth so he couldn't eat (I think he said either wisdom teeth or a root canal). The fiancé felt bad that they'd be eating in front of my dad and didn't want him to be hungry...so she put the pork chops and mashed potatoes into a blender for him. My dad said he drank it because he didn't know what else to do, he didn't want to admit he lied and he didn't want to hurt her feelings. He said he nearly vomited with every sip and as of today it's still been the worst thing he's ever eaten/drank."

It's Nothing Like The Real Thing

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It's Nothing Like The Real Thing

"Vegan mac and cheese. Tasted like creamy mustard that's been sitting in a alleyway on a hot summer day. Person who made it said, and I quote "Wow! It tastes just like the real thing!" No, f--- no. You forgot what cheese tastes like, you -3 Michelin star chef"

Eat It, Son

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Eat It, Son

"This is also the first meal I ate out of politeness. It was in super rural New Hampshire in 1989. I was eleven and visiting relatives I had never met before with my Grandpa. They were his age, around 55, no kids. The wife seemed very stern although in hindsight I just wasn't used to New Englanders. I actually learned over the years that she was a wonderful human being. We go to sit for lunch and it is gristly sliced canned ham with the jelly still on it, raw onions, and tomato aspic. I would be ok with this now but eleven year old me was disgusted. Grandpa saw me pucker up and whisper-shouted in my ear, "This is the best they can afford. Eat." I ate."

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