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McRobbin Hood
McRobbin Hood

"The statute of limitations is up on this one, so I'm comfortable telling it. My brother was a shift manager at a McDonalds for a while when he was in school. Fast forward a few months, he caught the guy below him stealing $50 from the register. As the tills had been short before, my brother flipped out, sent him home, and generally made a big deal of it. As a result, the guy was transferred and my brother was fired. My brother, who couldn't deal with the unjustness of the situation, devised a plan to rob the place. He knew the night crew would prop the door open in the kitchens to smoke (which was against policy). He also knew exactly when the night manager would do the deposit for the day. The night he did it, he raided his closet for everything he never wore (including a pair of ridiculous cowboy boots.) He had a friend drop him up the block, calmly walked to the door then sprinted through, completely bypassing the smoking workers, running into the office. He punched the shift manager in the throat and grabbed the deposit bag, running back out the exact way he came. He spent the rest of the night depositing each article of clothing in a different dumpster in the next town over. He got many calls from the night shift (who were all fired for violating policy) but there was never any solid proof it was him. The kicker is he never kept the money, he gave it to his friends who needed it. He just wanted get the people back that got him." (Source)

Her Standards Are Obviously Pretty High
Her Standards Are Obviously Pretty High

"One of our favorite customers is one we've collectively named Dr Pepper lady. She takes the lid off her Dr pepper and smells it. If she approves, she leaves. If not, she demands another and wont leave the drive thru until she acquires a Dr Pepper that meets her standards." (Source)

A 1950's Diner Fight Almost Happened
A 1950's Diner Fight Almost Happened

"I once saw a glorious showdown end in the best way possible inside a McDonald's. These grungy punk kids, six of them, were getting pretty rowdy at their table, throwing food and banging on the windows and stuff, and just being your average grungy punk kids. One of these grimy white kids pushes another one and he bumps into these very glamorously dressed ghetto teenage girls, and this very lovely but very frightening tall black girl turns around with a loud 'Ex-CUUUUSE ME?' And proceeds to start ranting and yelling and finger-waving and pushing the punk kid around. His friends laugh at first, but then start to get into it with her friends, and it looks like there's going to be a brawl, and the rest of the place is a cacophony of old people's voices and young mothers screaming 'Knock it off! Get out of here! Cut your hair!' Because people like to get in on these things. My friend and I are looking at each other like, wow, this whole place is about to get burnt to the ground, when from over in the corner comes our unlikely savior: This very, very large, slow, sleepy-looking woman, from her serene reverie by the window in the midst of the din, looks up, slowly raises a chubby finger and points to the counter, and says, "Looooook, there's your fooooood" And somehow the whole room just stopped and looked at the terrified employee holding a to-go bag. And it was like someone hit the reset button. Everything went back to normal. Super surreal." (Source)

She's a McLiar And A McThief
She's a McLiar And A McThief

"One time, we had a customer accidentally leave behind a purse with a bunch of money in it. There were about three of us standing around when we saw the purse, looked inside for an ID, and instead found about $300 and some other lady items - lipstick, lotion, etc. Like this was clearly someone's purse, and not some bag left behind for like a substance deal (which was totally possible at my McD's location). I put the purse (unattended) in the manager's office for safekeeping and went to find the manager on duty to alert him of what we found. When the manager and I returned to the office like 2 mins later, the purse was gone. I swore up and down that I had put it in there and the manager was like, 'NBD, we'll watch the security tape.' Sure enough, there was footage of me popping in and putting the purse on the desk, and seconds later, one of the other girls who had found the purse with me popped in and took the purse. The manager confronted her, and she said she didn't do it. He was like, 'Ok cool, we're just going to check the lockers then.' Obviously, in this same lady's locker, they found the missing purse, the thief's purse, a bunch of substances, and some other random items that belonged to fellow employees that had gone missing. That one made me sad, because I kind of liked that lady and thought she was one of the cool ones, but apparently not." (Source)

At Least His Last Meal Was A Sausage Biscuit
At Least His Last Meal Was A Sausage Biscuit

"There was an older guy, who I'm pretty sure was homeless. He would always come in, buy a sausage biscuit and a coffee and chill in the dining room for hours at a time. Sometimes from when we opened until after lunch started. So, we were told by our store manager to keep his receipt and if he was there for longer than two hours to let him know. Well, this particular morning, he was in my line. He ordered, I gave him his food, pocketed his receipt and away he went. I promptly forgot about him. About an hour later, a patron approached me, and said, 'Hey, there's a guy out here who, uh, doesn't look so good.' I took off around the corner and saw this poor son-of-a-gun slumped over in a booth, next to the kids' train tables. I ran back, told my manager, he booked it and tried to shake the guy awake (as he was infamous for sleeping) and got nothing. My manager told my Store Manager, who was on the phone, 'Rick, I think someone died in one of the booths.' And Rick ended his conversation like a boss with, 'Listen, I gotta go. I've got a dead guy in my lobby. Yes, I'm serious.'" (Source)

Not So Cool Now, Huh?
Not So Cool Now, Huh?

"Hot coworker of mine was out doing a lot check (picking up trash). A couple of guys in a modded out and restored classic muscle car did a wheel stand to impress her. They also impressed us by crashing into the wall near where we received our deliveries. Also impressive was that they took out the CO2 feed lines and sprayed coke syrup all over their car." (Source)

That Bathroom Is McDangerous
That Bathroom Is McDangerous

"Just a few days ago, someone broke a water pipe in the men's bathroom, resulting in a jet of water spraying everywhere. The same bathroom was also subjected to an addict customer throwing an entire lobby ketchup bag against the toilet, exploding everywhere. It looked like a McMurder scene." (Source)

Never Make Eye Contact With The Crazy Cookie Lady
Never Make Eye Contact With The Crazy Cookie Lady

"A girl and I were working drive thru. This lady orders a few cookies, freshly made. No biggie. She gets up to the window, pays, and now has to wait for the next car to pull up. In that window of time, the girl taking orders looks over, you know, just looking over to see the person, checking to see it may be someone they know or something then back to her order taking register. The lady in the car knocks on my window and I answer. 'Yes, ma'am?' Her: 'She looked at me, she wanted my attention.' I promptly handed the situation to the girl by backing up and waiting. At first the girl is polite asking what she needed, and again the woman insists that her attention was needed when she was looked at. The girl says "no ma'am, I didn't want your attention, I was just looking out the window." Lady: 'Then why did you look at me? Because. Normally if you look at someone you want their attention.' The girl: 'ma'am I was just looking out the window, I didn't want your attention and looking at you doesn't mean I would want it.' This lady FLIPS OUT and starts swearing at her and whatnot. I reach over an slowly close the window and she drives off mad without her cookies." (Source)

That's Some McMatrix Stuff
That's Some McMatrix Stuff

"I worked at a McDonalds about 8 years ago. A lady ordered 15 double cheeseburgers and 15 McChickens, held up the line, and after 5 minutes got mad because her food was taking too long. I told her it would be a few more minutes since we have to cook everything, and she proceeded to throw her drink at me. I caught the drink in mid-air and threw it back, splashing it all over her." (Source)

The McPoops
The McPoops

"Aw man, my time to shine. When I was in high school, I worked at a McDonald's. Great job for a teenager, and most of the time had a lot of fun. However, one night scarred me for life. An old man came in about 20 minutes before close one night, and ordered 5 fish filet sandwiches. He sat down, and ate every one. When he finished, he calmly got up and entered the bathroom. My friend and I, who are cleaning the lobby, hear something that resembles an explosion, but the old man calmly exits and leaves the premises with a cheerful 'Good-night,' so we assume all is well. Now it is time to clean the bathrooms, and my buddy and I flip a coin for the honors. He wins (loses?) and gets his cleaning supplies to do his duty. As soon as he opens the bathroom door, he runs out gagging. There is poop everywhere. All over the stall, floor, and ceiling. There were turds in the urinal and a smiley face of feces smeared on the mirror. To this day, I cannot figure out how such a small man could projectile poop over 12 feet, but can only guess it was a skill that took years of training to hone the power of the fish filet." (Source)

The Real Life Hamburgler
The Real Life Hamburgler

"I didn't get to witness it unfortunately, I quit shortly before this happened. But I stopped in for lunch and got the low-down from one of my former co-workers who came out and visited with me. Two of the managers, neither of which were well liked, had hooked up and devised a 'master plan' to rob the place. They set it up so that she would be the night manager on shift, part of whose job it is to count up everything in the safe at the end of the night and bag it for the bank deposit. He, with a panty-hose over his face, pretended to be some random criminal barging into the back claiming he had a weapon and barking orders. She would comply with his demands and give him the money. So, I don't know how wasted they were when they came up with this plan, but stop to consider that everybody in the kitchen would immediately recognize him. I mean, you can make your voice deeper or whatever but everybody knows it's still you. And your build, and body language, it's not rocket science. It's somebody you work with every day, how did they think his panty-hose would do anything at all? Needless to say, they were immediately caught and wound up serving time. I laughed my butt off when I was told about it." (Source)

The Epic Tale Of Trevor And His Substance Problem
The Epic Tale Of Trevor And His Substance Problem

Back in 2008 I was working in a down on it's luck McDonalds with this crazy silly fry-cook named Trevor. Trevor was funny and did his job really well, but one day he just decided that on his hourly smoke break he would go out to his car, do a shot of patron and some substances. He started this cycle at 5 pm, until 11 when we closed. 10:59 pm rolls around and we get an order come through the drive thru. Trevor was completely blitzed at this point and messed up the huge $50 order and lost his mind. He took the bags of food and threw them out the window into the customers vehicle and then shut and locked the window. Then he started accusing everyone of messing up the order. He punched a co worker, then punched a giant dent into our creamer dispenser. Then punched me. Then knocked over a giant tub of sweet tea, then began beating our metal front counter like a monkey. I stood up, cleaned my bloody nose and clocked out, as I wasn't getting paid enough for that. Oh and the store manager was there AND DID NOTHING. That night I called the district manager and reported Trevor. Trevor got fired, as did the manager. Weeks if not months later Trevor started calling the store harassing me, and demanding me to confess that I ratted him out (I denied). A few weeks later I'm sweeping the floor late at night and Trevor walks up to one of the giant windows from the darkness outside. He's smoking and mimes slicing his throat. He came again the next day and mimed shooting himself in the head. I called the cops and Trevor got arrested. Months later, Trevor's girlfriend was a manager at the McDonalds across town. He convinced her to steal from the safe. She stole $2000 and Trevor used it to buy substances. $2000 dollars worth of illegal substances. Trevor and his girlfriend were caught and last I heard they were doing some serious time for their crimes." (Source)

Don't Pull This
Don't Pull This "Trick" When You Have Substances In Your Pocket

"Saw a guy, clearly wasted, pay for his order. Gave him his change back and he put it in his back pocket. Saw him do it. He then insists that we are stealing his money, and that we still need to give him his change. The manager asks him to leave and says that if he doesn't that he will call the cops. The guys says, 'Fine call the cops because y'all stole from me.' Fast-Forward five minutes later: the cops arrive, and both sides tell their stories. The cops ask the wasted guy if it's cool that they search his pockets. He says fine, and they not only find the exact change from the receipt, but also substances, at which point they promptly arrested him." (Source).

"They Don't Pay Me Enough For This" Comes To Mind

"This wacked-out woman who came in cussing up a storm demanding that we tell her cheating husband Tom to come up front (We have no Tom at our store) or she was going to go get him. She then tried to force her way behind the counter while still screaming her head off for her no good cheating imaginary husband. (At this point we had already called the cops) Next she grabbed a broom and began assaulting other customers and our crew. This is when our maintenance man stepped in and detained her until the police arrived." (Source)

The Oprah Winfrey Of McNuggets
The Oprah Winfrey Of McNuggets

"I don't work at McDonalds, but once I was there waiting for my friend to get off work. He was arguing with a wasted guy who was demanding 200 chicken McNuggets. They ended up selling him the 200 nuggets, when he proved he had the money. He proceeded to run outside and throw them at people screaming 'YOU GET A NUGGET! YOU GET A NUGGET! AND YOU! EVERYONE GETS NUGGETS!'" (Source)

That's Ingenuity
That's Ingenuity

"I was a manager of a Wal-Mart that had a McDonalds inside it. Two very large women start arguing and fighting over something. One lady takes off her do-rag and fills it with ice from the machine and knots it up. She then proceeds to beat the other woman with it." (Source)

The McDonald's All-Star Crew
The McDonald's All-Star Crew

"I get called in at 10pm and I'm asked to work the overnight shift, immediately, with the owner and regional management. I say sure and come on in. The shift manager and regular crew who always worked overnight had been busted in a sting operation by police from our corporation (franchise corporation, something like 12 locations in one county). Apparently they would shut down the register and pocket all transactions from 9pm to 3am. Also, the newest guy in their group would sell drugs through the drive thru." (Source)

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