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Mama's Boy.
Mama's Boy.

"A couple came into the chain restaurant I worked at. Both looked like they were mid 30s. I go to take the order and the guys says 'hold on, let me call my mom. She can tell me what I would like better.' The lady just looked at him like 'I messed up.. I messed up real bad'" (Source).

Too Hot To Handle.
Too Hot To Handle.

"I worked in a restaurant that had a huge selection (150+) of hot sauces. We sold them by the bottle but customers could sample any of them and use them on their food. A couple came in, the guy started bragging about how much he loved hot sauce and how he never found one that was too hot. He asked for the hottest one we have. I brought the bottle to his table, he filled a spoon with the sauce and made a big production of how he was going to eat it. I told him not to, the hostess told him not to, the waitress serving the next table told him not to... he put it in his mouth, started choking and gagging, puked on the table then passed out and did a faceplant right into the puke!! We called 911. He woke up right away and kept gagging for a while. He refused treatment when the paramedics showed up. They left without even ordering a meal! The girl told one of the restaurant staff that it was their first date" (Source).

A Bundle Of Joy (Or Fear).
A Bundle Of Joy (Or Fear).

"This lady came in for lunch and let me know she was waiting for someone. When her lunch date got there I took his drink order, grabbed his coke and brought it to the table. As I'm placing it down I see a positive pregnancy test in a Ziploc on the table in front of the dude. Her excited face, his shocked, semi-disgusted but trying to look happy face, my what the actual f--k face. Awkward level went up 100%. I murmured something about congratulations and left the table as fast as I could" (Source).

A Shot In The Dark.
A Shot In The Dark.

"One summer I worked at Cheddar's. A couple in probably their late 40s walked in and sat at one of the high top tables in the bar area. The man ordered a shot of whiskey and a beer, the woman a diet coke. When the drinks come he takes the shot, takes a pull on his beer, and backhands his SO so hard she fell out of her chair. He just sat there calmly drinking his beer until his arresting officer arrived. The woman stood up after a few seconds by which point the manager was walking over. She started walking towards said manager who escorted her to the back office until the police arrived. The rest of the staff just kind of ignored it and tried to keep working. My section was next to where they were so it was painfully awkward trying to keep working around it. Poor lady" (Source).

A Night To Remember.
A Night To Remember.

"I'm a server at a fine dining restaurant that has a romantic/date-night setting. Most tables are couples celebrating birthdays/anniversaries, etc. but we also see a lot of wedding proposals... About a year ago, a young, attractive couple comes in and asks to be sat in one of our private booths. They are super cozy/cuddly, not in a gross PDA way, just a comfortable 'we're in love' vibe. A few minutes later, the guy sneaks away to let me know that he is proposing at the end of the meal, and if i can do something special to help make the night memorable. Fast forward 2 hours. Entrees are finished, drop off the desert menu. Say some subtle phrase, like, 'I'll give you two a few minutes to look through the dessert menu...,' aka 'it's go-time.' A few minutes later, I'm standing around the corner from their booth holding two champagne flutes, chocolate dipped strawberries on a plate covered in rose petals, and a digital camera to take a picture to put in the frame that I brought them, free of charge... you know, to help make the moment memorable. They were my last table, and they had been cool the whole night, so I decided to be extra generous and help them celebrate getting engaged. I come around the corner with all my gifts. See an open ring box. Say 'congratulations!' and hand them champagne. Notice they are both bawling (aww, tears of joy). Even he was crying, which seemed cute and sentimental. I start snapping some pictures, going for that candid in-the-moment feel. She says something like 'I'm a mess, I'm sorry!' sort of awkward laughing, and I say 'No, you look great! You'll want to remember this moment!' and they both stare at me for one last picture. Then, since girls LOVE showing off their new engagement rings, I ask to see her ring and she DECLINES. It took me about half a second to snap out of the 'yay for you guys!!' mode, and then I get it. Notice the body language, they aren't sitting side by side anymore. Notice how speechless and awkward they both are. Look a little more closely, and oh wait maybe those AREN'T tears of joy... my brain caught up with what was going on, aaaand I bolted. I dropped off the check and cashed them out and left them with the framed photograph: a beautiful candid shot of two mortified people, taken moments after a failed marriage proposal, that I then helped make 10x more awkward by forcing them to celebrate it" (Source).

Grade A Jerk.
Grade A Jerk.

"Couple sits down at my table. Do the usual greeting. Ask them if they would like to start out with a beverage. The female replies, 'coke, please.' The male stops her, interrupting 'uh, make that a diet coke. I'll take a Jack and coke.' The date didn't get any better" (Source).

First Date Jitters To The Max.
First Date Jitters To The Max.

"First date for a couple in their late 20's. Started smoothly, the obvious first date jitters and awkwardness but nothing odd. 10 minutes later they order and the guy is sweating bullets, really nervous. I checked on them about 5 minutes later and he's looking distinctly off. He didn't make it to 20 minutes. He shat himself and ran out leaving the girl sitting there in shock and pretty upset. The story was she had been set up on the date by a friend, who'd told her that he was nice, but extremely shy and nervous. Apparently it was all good until he needed to talk about himself, then s--t city occurred. That chair went straight to the dumpster" (Source).

He Got Schooled.
He Got Schooled.

"Used to wait at a chain restaurant where after a few weeks you would get to know the regulars. There was an elderly couple that would come in every Tuesday and Friday for fish and chips with a few pints. After they arrive and order their usual, a couple seated themselves at the table next to theirs and begin their small talk. They were both twenty somethings and from their mannerisms it was clear that it was still early days for them. The guy is talking just a little too loudly and the conversation was all about him. 'Oh yeah, I used to make loads of money playing poker at casinos, I made so much that I'm now barred from all the ones in town... I can totally bench press like 300lbs...' Basically the guy kept bragging about s--t the entire time and wouldn't shut up. The main thing he kept talking about was how much he could drink, talking about how he could outdrink all his mates and he f--king LOVED beer. The elderly guy at the table next to his kept rolling his eyes at me every time I passed by, and when I took their plates away his wife whispered 'This is torture!' Eventually the guy has started to get quite drunk from trying to drink pint after pint in the space of an hour or so. When I come over to clear their plates and ask if they want anything else the girl begins to ask for the bill before he cuts her off asking for another pint. She quietly reminds him that he's had five or so already and he tries to jokingly reply with 'Bitch I can drink as much as I want.' Without a word the girl immediately storms off leaving the guy looking shocked as hell. The elderly couple leave their money on the table but before they leave the man turns to the dumbfounded braggart and just says 'Son, you're a f--king disgrace' (Source).

Making A Bad Date Worse.
Making A Bad Date Worse.

"I was only bussing tables at the time, but overheard an awkward situation for my coworker who was serving them. It was definitely a couple. Definitely a date. And the woman is not into it. Not sure why because the guy seemed nice enough, but whatever. She's just not feeling it. She was, however, enjoying her server David. To be fair, Dave was gorgeous and sweet and funny and all the girls at work said he was sploosh worthy. This woman agreed. I'm cleaning the table right by them when Dave asked if they wanted dessert. The woman reached over, took Dave's wrist, and purred 'If you'll share it with me. You bite mine and I'll bite yours.' Right in front of her date. Dave awkwardly laughed, I nearly lost my s--t, and the poor date just sat there. Later, I went to clean the table, I saw she left Dave her phone number. Laughing, I gave it to him. He threw it out" (Source).

An Eye-Opening Experience.
An Eye-Opening Experience.

"Not worst date, but worst guy on a date. He tried to skip out on the check. I chased him outside and politely asked him and his date to go back in the restaurant so we can solve the "missing money" case. After a fair amount of back and forth and a bunch of bulls--t excuses he pulls the bill and the cash out of his pocket, stuffs it into my hand and said, 'just take it, man.' At the culmination of this douchebaggery his date's eyes were as wide as the dinner plates they just ate from" (Source).

Sad And Gross.
Sad And Gross.

"I served a married couple not too long ago. The wife got up to use the restroom twice during the meal. Each time she left, the husband tried to get me to meet him for a drink. He was dead serious. The worst part was when his wife said that I looked exactly like his daughter who was away in college. I threw up a bit in my mouth after that comment" (Source).

Awkward…
Awkward…

"A couple in their late 20s was having a quiet discussion in their booth and were going from their table over to the bar to use the phone and back to their table. Then suddenly the woman yells 'YOU BROUGHT A HOOKER INTO MY MOTHER'S HOUSE YOU C--KSUCKER' and storms out. Restaurant is dead silent, and me and the bartender just look at each other and burst out laughing and the guy shuffles back to his table" (Source).

The Nasty Daddy.
The Nasty Daddy.

"Working at a big chain restaurant I've encountered several of these but the one that sticks out the most is one where there was this old overweight man and a younger woman probably half the mans age. Right from the get go the woman orders a Long Island and I could tell something was up with these two but didn't really think much of it at the time. It was when she proceeded to order not one but two more long islands (at this point I was regretting getting her that last one). They finished their meals, she was pretty intoxicated but not belligerent. I bring menus for dessert and as I'm presenting them the woman asks if they can order dessert to which the old man replies, 'only if you call me daddy,' as I'm standing there. He then gives her the I'm gonna f--k you eyes. She starts this half hearted giggle and I decided that I stayed at the table probably 2 minutes too long and told them I'd be back. They ordered dessert so I'm assuming she called him daddy. Fast forward about two weeks later the old man shows up with some other girl half his age, so I'm assuming he has a lot of daughters he likes to take out to eat, or you know, hookers" (Source).

Holding Back.
Holding Back.

"Had a young gay couple come into the restaurant I worked at about 10 years ago. They were adorable, but about 5 minutes in I think they recognized someone else in the restaurant and the date suddenly became not a date. I guess they were both still in the closet at the time. The rest of their dinner was insanely awkward, never making eye contact and they barely spoke the entire time. Felt really bad for them" (Source).

Why, Just Why??
Why, Just Why??

"I waited on a man and a woman who got into an argument at the table, after which the man got up and left the restaurant. He stuck her with the check and apparently he had driven the two of them to the restaurant, as she was waiting outside the restaurant when I left work, waiting on a ride to come. Jump ahead a couple of weeks, I walk up to greet a table where a man and woman are sitting. I welcome them to the restaurant and ask for their drink order. When I turn to the man, he excitedly says 'You were my waitress last time I was here! Do you remember me? I was with the girl and I left her behind?' He was with a new girl this time though... poor girl probably should have left him at this point..." (Source).

Ignorant Or Evil?
Ignorant Or Evil?

"I was a waitress at a Japanese restaurant and this young high school couple comes in. The boy had been there many times before he and his family were fairly regular at the place. It was pretty obvious that it was her first time a sushi restaurant. I think he was trying to be smooth and said he would handle the ordering. He gets a tempura appetizer and has her try the first bite. We were in the Southwest area of the country and I overheard the girl say something about the wasabi looking like guacamole. He told her to have some of that to cleanse the pallet. Didn't tell her that only a very small amount was necessary, and she got a tempura sweet potato slice and dipped it like you would a tortilla chip into guacamole. I'm kind of waiting for him to say something that she doesn't want/need that much. He doesn't. She bites into it and nearly turns fire truck red in the face from the burn. She drains her water trying to cool down her mouth, and runs out of that and reaches for his glass and he says he doesn't like sharing things and that he will try and get my attention for more water. I bring her a small glass of milk and water. All the while he is checking his Facebook/texts while his date is feeling like someone just lit a match in her throat" (Source).

Trying To Help A Guy Out.
Trying To Help A Guy Out.

"I worked in a bar while I was in college and I had a guy come in before his date and told me that when ever he ordered a scotch what he really wanted was chardonnay. I must have given him an off look because then he got embarrassed and confided in me that he was really in love with the woman meeting him there for the date. He told me how she usually dated guys that were more macho and he didn't want to order wine in front of her, but if he ordered anything else he would make a face because he didn't like the taste. I felt pretty bad for the guy so I agreed. He seemed like a genuinely nice man and I wanted to help him out. Well the woman this nice man was in love with was a total b---h. She came in with two other women to their date, he mumbled something to me about maybe not being clear, and plastered a smile on his face. The woman was extremely charismatic, she was one of those life of the party women and the guy was very quiet... Anyways later in the evening he ordered another 'scotch,' he had been doing this all night, only this time when I brought it to the table she insisted she wanted to try it. She said that she had never ha scotch before etc. etc. It was like watching a train wreck, he tried to stop her saying things like 'here let me buy you a glass' etc. Well she took one sip and knew it was wine... I tried to help him going over and apologizing pretending it was my mistake, but she guessed the truth and started teasing him. Her friends joined in laughing as well... I felt awful and I could tell he was really embarrassed, even though he was laughing along etc. After a while he asked for the bill, I brought him the tab with his and the woman's portion and he told me he was paying for everyone. I felt so awful, the woman and her friends had all had so many drinks the tap was over 100 dollars, but I brought it and he tipped me 50 making me feel if possible more awful. They were my last table so I closed out with my manager and went back into the bar to have a drink with another girl that worked there. The group was still there so I decided to go over and ask to buy him a drink. I just wanted to I don't know help him or something. Make him look good and possibly make that woman jealous. Well I went over there and asked if I could buy him a drink. He smiled at me, got up from his chair, and took me aside. He told me I was very beautiful, but I was too young to be hitting on men old enough to be my father. I almost explained to him that I was just trying to help him, but decided not to. I figured that he could use the ego boost after that 'date'" (Source).

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