"I was bringing a check for a wealthy local businessman who was dining with his girlfriend. It was a big tab, and I was already counting the tip when the woman hurled his drink in his face and yelled to an aghast room of people, 'YOU DIDN'T EVEN PAY FOR THE ABORTION!!!' and stormed out. The man calmly brushed the ice off his suit and looking around said, 'Not the first time. Won't be the last.' I wheeled off and gave him the bill later" (Source).
"Two guys sitting at my bar top, looking shady as f--k, decided they were going to scout for the ladies. Now if you've worked in a continuously loud environment, you know that people will say anything when they think you can't hear them. Man, that was f--king stupid. 'What about the blonde with the blue dress?' 'Nah, I was thinking of that one.' He pointed to a smaller, more fragile looking brunette sitting by herself. They get quiet for a bit before the first guy asks 'Are you sure you wanna do this?' The second guy, 'That's what she gets for dressing like a whore. Let's hope she parked in the back.' I said 'f--k that' and called the police. They were asked to leave and one of the officers offered to follow the girl home" (Source).
"I waited tables at the Olive Garden 10 years ago. A guy and his wife sat down at a table and immediately started arguing. Something about his affair and how a baby from it was costing them money. Finally it culminated as I was bringing out their salad. As I walked away I heard the wife say, 'Well maybe if you hadn't boned our son's girlfriend and gotten her pregnant, we could afford to eat somewhere nicer than the f--king Olive Garden. Oh look, the highlight of my meals, unlimited f--king bagged salad. Maybe you could save up and we could go to Joe's Crab Shack for our anniversary. A--hole.' Later one of the servers said she heard the wife being afraid the son was only on speaking terms with them until his college was paid for. I heard the wife say she was going to follow the son wherever he felt like going after school and pretty much berate the husband for using their money to pay for the child. Never found out if it was hush money, or if he was legitimately paying child support. Tips were probably not as high during that hour because we all sort of listened and neglected tables from the server station" (Source).
"Two old ladies, cute as can be: 'Such strange weather lately.' 'They say it's because of all those Latinos in California.' 'Gosh, really?' 'That's what the weatherman said.' She mistook La Niña and El Niño weather patterns in the Pacific for Latino. A priceless conversation" (Source).
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