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The Double Dipper.
The Double Dipper.

"This is the story about the 'double dipper.' This happened in Berkeley, CA. Every few weeks, a man would come in who'd order one of our to-go specials to eat in the sun outside the restaurant. That's cool. We'd pack it all and give him the usual plastic knife and fork, he'd go outside and sit next to the entrance of the place, eating it. We often offered him plates and silverware, but he wanted it to be packed to go.

While sitting outside, he'd take a few bites, then invert the fork and start digging in his ears with the handle, retrieve something, put that in his mouth, and keep eating. He also dug for boogers with his fingers while eating, and once scratched his butt, smelled his hand, and then licked it.

It was also in Berkeley, that a customer took the empty water bottle from the table and relieved himself into it, while still chewing on his last bite. We waited until he was done, then ejected him and called the cops, he'd whipped his member out in front of kids.

I can't count the amount of people who can't eat with fork and knife. Some tables look like a food fight, just because people dripped more on them as got into their mouth.

Finally, my personal pet peeve and a no-no anywhere I work, is Snus/Chew. Customers spitting their crap into water glasses between taking swigs from the other glass (some even manage to eat with a mouth full of chew). Immediate ejection as soon as I see it" (Source).

Good Old Golden Corral.
Good Old Golden Corral.

"Once watched a really massive lady (I mean Hoveround bound, so heavy the chair squealed and groaned when she shifted) take entire PANS from the dessert table, like, you know not a plate full of pie, the whole damn pie, and the ones on either side.. she actually took about half the table herself.

But after the dessert, yes AFTER dessert, she went back and picked all the meat out of the meat and veggie or meat and pasta dishes. like all the meat.

Then she moved to the seafood table, and this is the nasty part, she scooped out the plates full of various seafood type items, did not even go to the table, would just suck the broth off the meat, then pour the stuff back into the heating dish and go to the next hot plate.

And the staff, when they tried to remove her, were threatened with a lawsuit. When the cops came to remove her? They had to call in a freaking TECHNICIAN. She pulled the key to scooter, dropped it into the eternal abyss of her bosom, so they had to actually get forklift type thing to move her scooter and all...and the rest of us were given free drink refills for the WEEK and 50 dollar gift cards. Thank you Golden Corral" (Source).

The Purse Stuffer.

Shutterstock/SunKids

The Purse Stuffer.

"A few years back, we had a family come in, mom, dad, another woman, and six kids. They sat down and started unpacking toys for the kids (that's OK, I'd rather they play on their table than running into my wait staff). We served them appetizers that would have fed a family three times the size, and mom started packing things away, right as we served them. My waiter told them that we'd happily wrap things to go, she just shook her head and started heaping handfuls of food into napkins which she then stuck in her pockets and purse.

The main courses were a little less extensive, but when she started filling the leftover gravy from all plates into one of the younger kids' baby bottle, that was gross and very messy.

We were pretty empty that afternoon, so we simply indulged them. The other diners were more amused than appalled, too, so all was good.

For dessert they ordered eight slices of pie, she wrapped four and put them into her purse, setting her purse on the chair next to her. You know what will happen next... the kid who was sitting next to her ran up from having been running around despite the toys, sat down, and squished the purse. A river of goo runs from it, they barely acknowledge that. When they're done, she takes the purse and leaves, leaving a trail of wet stuff dripping. It took us 20 minutes to clean the table and her egress" (Source).

How To Instantly Ruin Pizza.

Shutterstock/Anton Gepolov

How To Instantly Ruin Pizza.

"This is over 20 years ago, but I was a waitress in college at a trendy pizza place. A family with several children and one baby came in a ordered a large. The whole eating area was tiny, and the tables were tiny too. Every other patron was within 5 to 8 feet of her. After the pizza was put on the table, and everyone had been served, the woman decided to change her baby on the table. Next to the plates of food. The kid's head under the elevated pizza plate. Suffice to say, the owner booted her and the family. It was disgusting" (Source).

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