"This guy only lasted, like, an hour. I worked at a Sonic right after high school and this dude had his first day and I was supposed to be training him. Well, the manager was putting money from the box into the safe when a customer came up and started complaining, so the manager got distracted and went outside. The new hire saw a grand sitting on the table, grabbed it, and skedaddled.
The messed up part is that two weeks later, the idiot came back trying to get his check (for a whole 45 minutes worked), manager said it's in the back, called the police, and got him arrested."
"My first job was at a Cinemark movie theater. They hire people in batches. I was in a group of five that got hired to be concessionists. About one hour into the job, we were being trained by the manager on duty who was explaining how to pop popcorn or something like that. When he was turned around, the guy next to me gave him the finger. No clue why, but it happened. We heard on the radio, '[Manager's Name], tell the tall one with the beard that he's fired.' There was a one-way mirror above the concession. It was the window from the manager's office where the general managers and other managers could keep an eye on things; the guy lasted one hour at a minimum wage job that required very little active thinking, I was pretty impressed."
"Ate at a Jack Astors (Canadian chain restaurant) and our waiter was on his first day, we were his first table (supervised) and he was fired by the time our meals arrived. I say 'meals' because we'd gotten three different incorrect meals brought to our table by the time our meal was even close to being right. At this restaurant, they write their name on the table covering. He did this twice because he thought he spelled it wrong the first time. To his credit, they have to write upside down, but still, his name was Tate, not all that hard. He did it correctly the first time, but he laughed because he thought he'd written TAT3. So he 'fixed' it and actually wrote TAT3 (to our perspective). Once he was on his way to a table with the food and someone en route asks for a refill. He stopped and left food on some other random table and went to get the drink, then someone else stopped him on the way to get the drink and he'd switch again, never returning to the previous task - So yeah...fired."
"I worked as a jack-of-all-trades at the local Red Lobster in high school.
The general manager's daughter was my age, she was essentially Regina George from 'Mean Girls.' She and her friends would come in, eat for free, not tip, make a mess, talk down to the servers, and make all of our lives miserable. To make things worse, 'Regina George' would have her father hire all of her little mean, lazy friends when their parents pushed them to get jobs. It was a nice little setup for them: they would get hired as hostesses, get paid $9 an hour, and sit behind the podium all day with the expectation that they would do nothing. This was a problem for me since the hosts/hostesses were expected to bus tables as much as they managed seating, but these girls did neither. Their rudeness to the customers was only surpassed by their always impressive ability to take weekend nights off without anyone covering their shifts.
SO, after enduring this torture, I start stepping down on them. The other managers and the rest of the staff were on my side, so if I told them to do something and they refused, I had backup. Unfortunately, things started to heat up between everyone because of this huge issue. The General Manager, ('Regina George's' dad) was confused because he believed all of these girls to be angels. He threatened to fire me after complaints from his daughter, so I cooled it down.
Life went on, and Regina's best friend got hired because her daddy wanted her to work and she needed money for Abercrombie & Fitch. We were at the podium during a slow hour on her first day and I was grinding my teeth with frustration, attempting to plan out the night as front shift manager so that I didn't kill myself with all of the extra work. She was rattling on about gossip and things that make me respect her even less as a human being when the General Manager walked up to us with this chick's back to him. Then, it happened...
In a moment of pure, unadulterated glory, she said this:
'I can't believe you bus tables all night. It's so gross. I mean, the only reason we have Regina get us these jobs is so that we can buy drugs. I'll be out of here before school starts again.'
I pulled many jaw muscles trying to hold back the devilish grin that almost erupted on my face. All I could do was walk past her and then past the GM, whose face was beet red with furrowed, bushy eyebrows. She was told to leave immediately. Then, the GM shut himself away in a far-from-soundproof office, where we could hear him screaming over the phone at his little princess.
I got a raise and the GM profusely apologized to me. I never had to deal with those ignorant, privileged, lazy, lying hussies ever again."
"I had just been promoted to a management position at a small restaurant. I was meeting with my general manager and owner. Our owner had a former coworker of his coming in to start a dishwashing job. The young gentleman came in shortly after we started our meeting. He was surprised to see how much weight our owner had put on since last he saw him. It was obvious he was trying not to offend, but his limited English only allowed him to say something along the lines of, 'What happened to you? You get big, you know, fat.'
The owner flipped out. He went into a f-bomb laced tirade, asking the guy how dare he speak so insultingly to him, didn't he know who he was, what was wrong with him, etc. My GM and I just stared at our feet. The kid just sort of faded out of the room looking ashamed. I felt bad for him but was too scared of losing my job to stand up to my boss. The guy is a pretty rotten human being as I've come to learn, and I no longer work for him or support his restaurants."
"I used to work at a Panera Bread, was there about six months and I saw dozens of people come and go. My manager was a bleeding heart and only hired delinquents he thought he could change. He always talked about how he was a role model and a pillar of the community, and how he took dozens of at risk youths off the streets and gave them a good job. So he would hire these degenerates, but it was always me and my coworkers who had to deal with them.
One day, he hired this guy named Ronnie. I remember when he came in to interview. He was 5'5, 130 pounds, smelled like crap, and wore a 3XL hoodie covered in crowns. Dude freaking sucked. I didn't catch the interview, but I noticed that he gave my boss daps instead of a handshake.
He came in to train two hours late smelling like drugs and booze. He introduced himself to me and gave me daps. I showed him the ropes and took a few customers in front of him. This woman, a regular named Sandy, was placing her order and gave him kind of a dirty look. Turns out, he was scoping her out and licking his lips. He saw the dirty look and said, 'You got a problem, girl? I'll slap you upside the skull!' I had to pull him aside and explain etiquette to him, but he said she was giving him a look and he shouldn't have to take that. I said he needed to apologize and he said fine
I took him over to apologize and, instead, he threw a bottle of water at her, hitting her right in the forehead. I had to hold him back because he was trying to climb over the counter at her. I called the boss and told him, and he said not to worry, it was his first day, he had to learn.
About a half hour goes by without incident and the boss showed up. Ronnie went right to the boss and said, 'This bimbo was giving me a nasty face, Boss. I didn't mean nothing by it, I just got overcome with emotions,' or some BS sob story like that. Boss said not to worry about it.
Someone's order was up and Ronnie brought the tray over to the counter. As he passed it to the woman, he grabbed a crouton off her salad and said, 'Lemme get dat,' and started gnawing on it and giggling. When he came back behind the counter, he said, 'Yo, did you see what I just did?' like it was some big joke.
I gave the boss a look, but he just brushed it off again and said, 'It's fine, it's fine, don't worry.'
Finally, after a grand hour and a half of Ronnie being there, he made himself a giant sandwich with every topping and said he was going on break. The boss told him not yet, but Ronnie insisted, saying it'd just be a minute, he had to make a call. He came back two hours later and made another sandwich. The boss took him into the office and he was let go."
"I was running a bar and hired a new barmaid. She seemed really good at the interview, bright, bubbly, keen. She had no experience, but I can teach anyone to work a bar so I hired based on personality and that gut feeling about who would be the best fit in the team.
Interview on Monday, I ask her to come in on Wednesday night as it's quiet so I could train her on the tills, pours, health & safety before she worked a busy shift on Friday. She says that's fine, really keen to get started. Nice.
Wednesday rolls around and mid-afternoon I get a phone call from this lass: 'I'm SO SORRY to do this on my first shift, would it be okay to do my training tomorrow instead? I'm feeling really poorly, been sick a few times and I think I should just go to bed.' I had no reason not to believe her, she'd seemed genuine at the interview, still seemed keen to work, just a case of bad timing.
So around 7 pm in the evening, I finish some work in the office. The bar's quiet, my staff is bored and cleaning stuff because there are only about 12 people in and it's dull.
Then she walks in, a little sauced, dressed for a night out, and completely oblivious to the fact she's just walked into her new job that she's called in sick to.
Total working time: 0 minutes."
"Many years back, while working at a well-known fast food chain between semesters, I was training a new hire named Franklin. On Franklin's first day, I was training him on the grill and we got to talking about illegal substances. He told me he could get me a bag of high quality stuff for an abnormally low price on his 15 minute lunch break. I said sure, why not, and gave him a $20 before his break. Franklin went on break, and 15 minutes later, he was still gone. After an hour, I figured I wasn't going to see this guy again and I was out $20. Whatever, stuff happens. After two hours, Franklin came back in, all sweaty and breathing heavy, and told me he almost got busted and had to run from the cops. He gave me the stuff as promised as well as my change. After the lunch rush died out, our manager came over and fired him on the spot. It was real good stuff, though."
"I used to work at McDonald's in a suburb of a bigger city, and I ended up getting my brother a job because I was cool with the manager. So on his first day, he walked in, nicely dressed and clean shaven. Looked at the manager, looked at me, and asked, 'Is he gonna be my boss?'
After giving him a confused look, taken aback by the sudden question of leadership, my manager sort of stammered out, 'Yes?'
Now my brother is an ornery guy with anger issues and a streak of bad behavior. After about thirty minutes of me teaching him what to do, and sort of playfully ordering him around (I got excited by the prospect because he's six years older than me and it was nice to have that sort of come full circle), my brother went to the kitchen, grabbed a fist full of McChickens and fries and threw them EVERYWHERE. I gasped because I didn't expect the reaction and he wasn't even done yet. After his little rampage, he screamed 'SCREW THIIIIS!' and ripped his uniform off, sending buttons flying everywhere. Fairly sure a few customers were assaulted that day by the sudden sting of little plastic rockets.
He then proceeded to stomp out the door, get into his truck, and pull a big smokey burnout for like 20 seconds before peeling out.
That was also the day I was fired."
"We had a girl come in for training her first day at the bakery I worked at. Halfway through the shift, she takes my coworker's cell phone (a flip phone) out of the woman's bag, looked her in the eye, said, 'This is nice,' and then snapped the phone clean in half. My boss was in such shock that he didn't even yell, just told her to get out and not come back. Chick wanted to know if she was getting paid, too. We've all agreed for years that she was simply nuts - sometimes it's best not to try and understand people."
"I worked as a delivery driver/cashier for a restaurant and the owners would get their cooks, who were all undocumented immigrants, from some connection they had. One morning, I was asked to pick up the new cook from the bus station. I saw him sitting on a bench holding a can in a brown paper bag and knew exactly what it was. He got in the car and asked me if it was okay for him to finish it. I told him I'd wait for him, but I was not going to drive him around like that. He pounded back whatever he was drinking and then stuck like five pieces of gum in his mouth. He explained he bought it at the last stop to help pass the time. On the short drive back to the restaurant he just kept asking me about the restaurant and the other guys who worked there. The whole time, I could smell his sour breath. When we pulled up, I told him he should try to avoid talking real close to the owner because I was still able to smell the alcohol on him. He said, 'Don't worry, I have lots of gum.'
As soon as we walked through the door, we bumped into the owner, who stopped in her tracks and started sniffing the air. She walked up to him, took one good whiff and flipped out, screaming, 'OUT, OUT! TAKE HIM BACK!' I felt bad for the guy, so I gave him the ride back to the bus station. I couldn't believe how quickly he got fired, but he had no one to blame but himself."
"I worked at an Italian restaurant that was owned by a pretty mean guy named BB. It was small (25 tables, I think), so BB would just sit at the register and bark at the wait staff all night. One night, we had a new girl that was training. She walked in, asked where to put her purse and then walked over to the register and talked to BB as he was informing her what she would be doing. After he finished speaking, she looked at the clock. BB said, 'Why are you looking at the clock? You worried about what time it is? You can go home now. I don't need someone who doesn't want to be here.' The new hire was speechless and just grabbed her purse and walked out. Total time on the job: maybe 5 minutes."
"I owned a small burgers 'n' fries shack.
I had a few 'hire-and-never-show-up' before. Since they were high school kids, I was a jerk and sent an official 'job abandonment - termination' letter to their houses. Always hoped the parents got them first.
But the fastest one fired who actually showed up was done in 30 minutes.
I had just finished training a girl, she just took an order under my supervision, everything went fine. I watched her take a few more and I felt she was getting the hang of it. She took one 'on her own' with me just kinda hanging back, looked good.
I wandered to my tiny little office to make a call to the company I bought burger meat from. Heard another sale go through, wandered back up around the corner just in time to watch her pocket the $20 the customer handed her and make change out of my register.
'Gonna have to call you back,' I told the person on the phone.
I asked her if she just pocketed money from me. 'No, of course not!'
I ran a till report and pulled the till. I had her follow me back to my office. I counted down the till. Of course, it was $20 short. I counted it again. $20 short a second time.
I asked if she was sure she didn't just take $20 from me and put it in her pocket. Much less sure of herself, but she still said, 'No, of course not.'
I asked how there was a $20 bill in her left front pocket then, the $20 I personally saw her stick into her pocket?
Oh, sweet delicious tears of being caught.
One, you're fired. Next, you have two options: Hand me the $20 right now and I call mommy or daddy to pick you up and explain why you were fired. Option two is I just call the cops and press charges, instantly.
Nope, you can't just walk home, I'm offering the 'call the parents' option out of the goodness of my heart; if I was a jerk, as you keep telling me that I am, I would have just called the cops.
Dad was one of my regulars and was TICKED. Good, that's sorted. Told her I'd mail her paycheck, all $2.50 or so of it, for the 32 minutes she was officially on the clock."
"I worked at a local pizza place. My new coworker's job was basically standing up front and assisting customers. But since it was a small restaurant, and of course certain times are going to be dead and other times are really busy, he was expected to help out in the back during down time.
His exact words were, 'I don't have to do that.' The manager just kind of looked at him, showed him the door, and that was that. By all means, if you don't want to work, quit, but I don't understand people who think they can custom tailor their job description."
"I worked as a delivery driver for Pizza Hut in college. Basically, anyone who applied and had a driver's license would get hired. So this kid, we'll call him Steve, came in on his first day of work, and this was a transcript of his entire period of employment at Pizza Hut:
Steve: 'So, where is the car I am going to use?'
Manager: 'You use your own car.'
Steve: 'But I don't have a car.'
Manager: 'Well then, you can't be a delivery driver.'"
"I used to manage a restaurant. The other manager hired a girl from Hooters because he thought she was cute. I was counting the money from the day before and getting the deposit slip all filled out in my office. The Hooters girl came into my office and said she was here for training. I grabbed the paperwork she needed to fill out and my bank bag. I walked her up front and gave her the paperwork to work on. I realized I forgot a document back in the office, so I went back to grab it, but I slipped up and accidentally left the bank bag on the counter by the register. It was only her and I up there as this was at about 9 am. I left and went to the bank to deposit the money and guess what? I was $40 short. So I'm like, 'Shoot, I must have dropped the $40 somewhere,' and headed back to work. Couldn't find it and asked her if she saw it. She said no. So I watched the security cameras and, sure enough, she had opened the bag and stole it. She had literally been there less than five minutes and stolen from us. I called the cops, they came and arrested her. The police found three pill bottles in her purse, and she had two warrants out for her arrest. She was 18 and had been to jail before. She didn't even tear up, just called me a snitch for calling the cops."
"I got a job at a cafe where my buddy's girlfriend had been hired the day before as a manager. I walked in on my first day and she was getting canned, just five minutes into her shift. The cafe is in a sleepy area of New England where there's a high concentration of celebrities with homes and vacation homes. One of the first rules was to treat them like you didn't know who they were. They preferred some semblance of anonymity and we were asked by the owner to respect that. My buddy's girlfriend couldn't keep it together when a certain handsome, multiple Oscar winner came in that morning and started hyperventilating and seriously putting the spook into this guy. I came in a few minutes later and she was hanging up her apron and wishing me good luck."
"I worked at a mom and pop lobster shack over the summer. One day, one of the girls who got hired through a church group left three hours early and $1,000 dollars was missing from the register. She was gone for four days. Her grandmother came around to the shop the next day asking if we had seen her.
Girl showed up a week later demanding her paycheck. She stole the money, went to the Vineyard to booze it with her friend and got some crap tattoo of a unicorn or something equally stupid."
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