"I worked in a place and someone kept stealing my frozen dinners - even after I started marking them with my name.
One day our manager took us to lunch and I had forgotten my shrimp linguine frozen dinner - in my car - in summer (well over 90 degrees). Well the dinner started to stink and I did not want it to smell up my cube or the break room so I threw it in the freezer - and the guy took it.
About two weeks later I heard that a sales guy (one of the highest paid guys) was sick in the hospital from food poisoning. It was an accident but I was very smug."
"Here's a way to inject food coloring into some chocolates.
Step 1: Buy Lindor by Lindt Chocolates. The chocolates are individually wrapped and you can drop a few in with your lunch.
Step 2: Get the chocolates warmed up a bit to make it easier to slip a syringe filled with food coloring into them. These chocolates have hollow spaces in the center just waiting to be filled. I recommend Red or Blue!
Step 3: Use a hot knife to smooth over the hole in the chocolate and store the chocolate in the fridge over night.
Step 4: Re-wrap the chocolates and drop them into your lunch.
Then after lunch take a walk around the office and look for colored fingers or teeth."
"I had a coworker who told a story of having food stolen on night shift and spiking brownies with laxatives as revenge.
It was a law enforcement occupation and the thief was the sergeant. He shared the brownies with the lieutenant and all the officers on that shift. There were lots of sick guys and there was huge investigation because of the security risk.
No one knew anything about any brownies when asked but the sergeant stopped stealing food."
"A guy I used to work with was an evil genius. Every day for about a week, the sales guy would eat my boss's soup (and whatever else his wife made him). Until one day, the sales guy left an apple on his desk, really conspicuously.
So my boss thought this was his chance. Over lunch, or when the sales guy went to the toilet (I can't remember) he took a massive bite out of this apple and put it back on his desk with a smile like a beaming toddler. Sales guy comes back and sees the apple with a big bite of it and doesn't say anything. 5 minutes later, the sales guy's desktop background is a photo of said apple placed firmly between his butt cheeks, which he'd taken a few hours earlier.
Moral of the story - NEVER try and one-up whoever is stealing your food by eating theirs."
"I used to work in an operating room. We'd have long cases and often be unable to leave for hours at a time. Lunch was much anticipated.
Some punk doctor would always steal my lunch, so I started putting cat food on my sandwiches- every day they got eaten by anonymous thief. The satisfaction I got from this was better than any meal. I would also buy bags of snacks that had no English on the packet and fill them with cat biscuits and left it with my lunch. Every day they were stolen. I never said a word and I did this for months (until I moved to another job). So sweet. The thought still nourishes me."
"I worked at a company that had a very sneaky thief.
Lunches were only part of his repertoire. I'll get back to the food soon. His prowess was legendary and to catch him you had to think like him without being him. Difficult to say the least (to think like a thief but not be one). In his bag of tricks, he had a penchant for toilet paper! Yes, he just couldn't resist stealing toilet paper. First they would disappear from the rest rooms. When the owner caught on, there was only one roll IN said restroom but plenty more available. When he figured that was to telling, he switched to the supply closet. What he did was to cut a hole in the back of the SECOND case down in the stack. He could take as many as he wanted until the case was empty then cut up said box and take that with him. No empty box, no one is the wiser. All he had to do was monitor the TOP case. When it got low, he would back fill it some with the second case then empty same. This went on for months until one day the owner got angry at having to order more. You see, he was keeping track of what was put in the restroom and the numbers didn't match the purchases. I stumbled on his routine one day when I was asked to bring the entire top case into the inner office so as to NOT leave any open cases in storage (that is where they THOUGHT they were disappearing from, the TOP partial case). Well, when I opened said case, two rolls were present. I took those two and attempted to take the second 'full' case. To my enjoyment it was half empty! The owner then wrote this on the back of said case... 'dude, I know YOU are stealing this toilet paper, if ONE more roll disappears, SO DO YOU!' Not one more roll went missing! One more then the food story. It seems that gasoline was also disappearing from the trucks in the yard. These trucks belonged not only to us but others as well. One day, an owner who has ZERO tolerance for both thieves and this individual burst into the employee area and made a beeline to the thief. He shouted, 'If one more drop of gasoline is ever missing from any of my trucks, I will come looking for YOU and when I do, no one will every find you again!' I cleaned this up a bit but the point is the same. No more gas EVER went missing from any vehicles in that yard ever again.
It seems that he had a penchant also for DONUTS! ANY donuts but especially the filled versions. Jelly, Boston Creme, Lemon filled, etc. These were his Achilles heel so to speak. He couldn't resist a donut, especially these, any more than Wimpy could resist a hamburger, Popeye could spinach or Yogi a 'PIC-A-NIC' basket! I also found out that he DETESTED anything hot or spicy. No pepper, mustard, Tabasco were tolerated. He even hated A-1 sauce! I also was told that he was seen stuffing a mouthful of food into his mouth if he was walked in on. Most likely stolen food but never did so with anything he was seen taking out of his lunch pail. Once I learned these three facts, I put the gears in motion. I placed my 'trap' on a paper plate and covered some with yet another paper plate on which I wrote: 'This donut belongs to NICK, please leave it ALONE'. It stayed untouched all day. When the thief came in, as usual, he made a beeline for the fridge. It was comical. Everyone KNEW he was the thief but no one could prove anything. He spotted the 'package' then scanned the room, seeing me also. He then closed the fridge and came over and sat next to me, making 'small talk' about working hard and the day being 'over', feeling me out as to when I was going to leave. I told him it was 'as soon as I was processed out' (a process we had to do at day's end). He walked over to the fridge again, I'm sure to look at his next acquisition. As he turned away, I asked if my donut was still there which he confirmed. I stated to him and two others in the room 'it should be OK until tomorrow, I'll have it for breakfast'.
As expected, it disappeared that very night. You see, my donut was 'special'. I took a Powdered sugar dusted, lemon filled donut and removed the lemon filling substituting as much CHINESE MUSTARD as it could absorb. As his habit was to force the entire donut into his mouth at once, he didn't get the full effect until it coated his mouth. With two witnesses in the room, he HAD TO swallow it or be found out. That donut was nothing short of a mouthful of napalm to him. After my donut, NOTHING EVER disappeared from that fridge again."
"I used to work for a large distribution center and we had the worst lunch thief. He would steal whatever to-go containers had the best food or if the bags said Texas Roadhouse. He would steal pizzas. I had too many of my lunches stolen.
I bought a small buffalo chicken pizza and put a drop of Visine on each piece of chicken. The acidity of the buffalo sauce hid any kind of smell or taste of the Visine. Around lunchtime, I checked for my pizza and sure enough it was gone. A little while later my boss tells that there is a security guard in the bathroom. He says he can't stop, it's coming out both ends.
The paramedics are called and they ask him what he ate. He tells them about the pizza. They ask where it is. My boss finds the empty box and asks if it's his because it's says 'Property of Ty. Do not eat.' He says yes but he was hungry and said his friend Ty said he could have it. There were two Ty's. One was on vacation the other was me.
The ambulance took him away and said it was food poisoning. My boss fired him at the front door when he came back to work. He cried and promised to never do it again but my boss told him that if he couldn't be trusted to not steal food then how could he be trusted to not take anything else."
"I used to work at a trucking company on the swing/weekend shift at the dispatch office. At one point, there was another guy there that worked later in the evening than I did. He would sometimes bring in a loaf of bread and some sandwich making materials the first day of the week to eat for the rest of the week. Well at some point people were eating his food out of the fridge even though he would label it and put signs on it.
So one day he comes in the office and sits down with this huge grin on his face, he can't contain himself. So I ask him what's up. He says, 'Well you know how people have been stealing my lunch meat?' and I say yeah. He says, 'Well last night before I left I rubbed what was left between my butt cheeks, and today it was gone. Someone ate it.' And then we both proceeded to laugh our butts off for the rest of the night."
"My father (who's a really good cook) was always getting his lunches stolen at work. So one day he takes extra care to make an amazing lunch with two sides to go with it. Except he took laxatives and ground them up to mix in with all the food.
He put his lunch in the fridge and waited. He said it didn't take long to find out who had been taking his food because they were crying in the bathroom. Probably couldn't do things like this now but this was the 80's and everything was fair game."
"Someone was eating my dumplings when I leave them in the break room fridge.
I know because I counted how many I had before I left the house. It was happening for a few weeks on the times I brought dumplings. So I had a batch I cooked that I wasn't planning on eating and injected it with some super hot chili peppers my aunt got while vacationing in Vietnam. These things burn and make you uncontrollably teary eyed when you ingest a lot.
So when I left it in the fridge, a few hours later I see my coworker sweating his butt off and coughing. Then I see him run towards the exit where the bathrooms are located with tears running down his face. I couldn't help but laugh and told my other coworker about it. He spent like an hour in the bathroom then went home instead of returning to work. Ever since that incident, my food was always there. I eventually told him what I did and he laughed it off saying he totally deserved it, apologized, and asked the next time I bring some for lunch, to bring him some with out the chili peppers because he loves them."
"Many years ago I worked at a large company that had discounted ($0.25) soda vending machines if you worked for a certain group within the company- I was part of this group. Over time, management began putting up more and more hurdles for access to the machines, complaining of other groups aggressively buying the group's sodas. They put the machines behind keypad locked doors. Keypad codes were changed repeatedly. They switched the machines to tokens which were available only from the secretary. Then they limited how many tokens you could buy per day from the secretary. This caused people to visit the secretary more frequently, which overwhelmed her. A few other people were volunteered to distribute tokens, who were rarely available at their desks. Surveillance cameras were put in the soda machine rooms. Employees started to notice that if tokens were left on their desks or even in unlocked desk drawers, they would slowly disappear.
I had brought in a small thermoelectric cooler and would keep a couple sodas in it, and then took notice when some of those started to disappear. I was in the middle of a decent sized cube farm in a group with access to discounted soda machines, why on earth would a coworker steal sodas from me? I was determined to stop this, so I set up a webcam with software that started recording when motion was detected. The next morning, BAM, I have video of some guy I didn't know coming into my cube after hours and stealing a soda. I showed it to a coworker, who recognized the guy as one of the nightly cleaners, and had me show it to my manager. My manager told me to share it with the group's secretary to deal with. She, in turn, turned it over to the company's security personnel. The security personnel first grilled and scolded me over the incident saying my recording violated company policy and thus couldn't be used as evidence, but once they got past that they said they would set up their own surveillance that was literally just their own hidden camera they could remotely monitor. They did so, told me to keep doing things exactly the same and keep quiet about the surveillance, and then a week or so passed where they ignored my requests for updates while I noticed sodas were being stolen almost every other night. My expectation was once they caught the guy, he'd get a good grilling and given a warning to stop.
A few days later, a man I had never seen before shows up at my cube, who I believe was the soda thief's union rep. With a hint of repressed anger he shoves a card in my hand, and says he's 'sorry that things turned out this way' in a way that implied I was the bad guy. I read the card and it's an apology card from the soda thief, with a $10 bill inside. Still a bit confused over the unexpected visit and method of notification, I made some kind of comment to this effect, and the guy flat out told me the soda thief was fired. I was honestly shocked by this news, I didn't set out nor expect anyone to get fired over this! But then hindsight kicked in and I recalled a few other, more severe theft incidents had occurred in the months prior, and while I don't think the incidents were related the firing may have been done as a heavy-handed approach to set an example to others."
"Worked at an office where this guy's thing was to just take other people's lunches from the fridge (there were maybe 20 people working in this office).
Everyone knew it was him, and when it happened, the general reaction was just, 'classic Ronny!'
I didn't take well to my lunch being stolen, so I used the Daniel Radcliffe method. Every single weekend, I made a huge pot of an old family recipe, basically spinach and rice stewed in tomatoes. He took it the first day, but didn't think it was that good (especially compared to the snack cakes that most people brought for lunch), so he got bored with it and never touched it again after that. And by eating spinach and tomatoes every day, I staved off my anemia, so two birds."
"I used to work in what once served as the courthouse for the county we were located in. I worked in a satellite office for an engineering firm based near Atlanta, GA.
The building not only housed our office, but the FEMA office for the county, some local staffing service, an office for the county's traffic signal department, and an office for the county's maintenance department.
For a while, people who were sentenced to community service were instructed to report to the maintenance department's office, where they'd be given tasks such as picking up trash along the shoulders of the highway, emptying out trash from various offices (including ours), cleaning the restrooms, and whatever else was asked of them. We'd often have to redirect these people down to the maintenance office because they'd come in our office asking if we were the community service office.
There was also a break room with a refrigerator, microwave, and a few tables. I would keep a handful of frozen dinners in there.
One day, they had a large group of community service folks. Most of them were young kids, late teens/early 20s. The woman who was overseeing them all had picked up some lunch meats and other items for sandwiches, and had instructed them to help themselves to the supplies.
One kid misheard and had removed one of my frozen dinners from the freezer. I went to the office and asked if it was true what he said; he could help himself to anything in the fridge. She said there was stuff for sandwiches. I told her he had removed one of my lunches, but hadn't eaten it yet. She apologized and pretty much tore him a new one.
How did I know he had taken one of my lunches down? I saw it spinning in the microwave, and I didn't recall taking it down myself. I always kept a week's worth up in the freezer, and when I went to grab one, I noticed I was minus one. I saw the microwave running and one of my dinners in it. I didn't remember putting it in there, so I hung around and waited until the kid showed up. He apologized as well and made himself a sandwich when she straightened it out.
He was later arrested because he had called a buddy to pick him up before he was released for the day. As part of his community service, he was not supposed to have a cell phone on him."
"I walked in on a co-worker eating part of my lunch that was in the fridge.
I said 'Are you seriously eating my lunch dude?' He just gave me a 'Yeah I guess' kind of look.
So I sat down in front of him and watched him eat it with a poop eating grin on my face. When he was done, I asked him how it was. He said it was ok. I started laughing and said 'You're about to find out why you shouldn't eat other people's food. You never really know where it came from.' Then I left. He never ate my food again. I didn't even do anything to his food."