The whole point of fast food is that you know exactly what you're getting; the food is supposed to be the same every time, no matter in what part of the country you are in, or how adventurous you might be feeling on that particular day.
But of course, there are people out there who are determined to shake things up and order something absolutely ridiculous. Will you try any of these the next time you stop for fast food?
(Content has been edited for clarity)
Talk About A Custom Order
“My mate works at McDonald’s. I got a call from him a while ago at like 11 pm. He’d just finished serving a customer, and he said he had to tell someone.
This customer had asked for a Bacon Double Cheeseburger but without the bacon, the cheese, the relish, the burger, or the bread. My friend said ‘… so you don’t want anything?’ The guy replied, ‘No, I want a Bacon Double Cheeseburger, but I don’t want the bacon, the cheese, the relish, the burger, or the bread.’
Apparently, the guy was completely serious. My friend gave him an empty burger box, the guy paid full price for the burger, took the box and left the restaurant.”
People Are Very Strange When It Comes To Their Caffeine Habits
“When I was a barista, there was definitely a lot of weirdness, but once I had a lady order a cup of coffee even though she doesn’t drink it because she ‘just wanted to sit and smell it.’ Also, one lady wanted however many shots of espresso fit in our large cup. It was literally about 16 shots.
Oh and on one of my last days, I told one of our creepier regulars that I was leaving. He asked if he could hug me. I just stared at him and said ‘No.’ That was a very awkward silence.”
I Think You Need To Review The Definition Of “Vegan”
“I had a lady come in, furious that her Filet O’ Fish add mac sauce had cheese on it because, she said, ‘I’m vegan!!’
Few know that fish are a unique species of plant.”
She Knew Just What To Do
“I worked at McDonald’s, and this one guy kept asking for a sad meal. Not so happy, actually light on the happy as he preferred it to be extra sad.
I drew a sad face on his box and omitted the toy. In the toy’s place, I jotted down a few sad words that are a cacophony to hear… phlegm, cornucopia, moist, larvae, fester, leech, potluck, and porridge. He seemed very pleased.”
“My first job was working at Subway. Deaf people used to come to our store on a surprisingly regular basis. One day, a particularly heavy set deaf lady came in and ordered a sandwich.
She looked at me and said, ‘Footlong. White bread.’
I politely asked what kind of sandwich she would like.
So I put some mayo on the sandwich and looked at her.
‘More.’ She said.
I put more on.
‘More.’ She said again.
So, I added a bunch more. There was about a quarter inch mayo layer at this point. I looked at her again.
‘Salt and pepper.’ She demanded.
I salt and peppered away.
‘More.’ She demanded once more.
I covered that sub in salt and pepper and asked her if she wanted anything else.
‘Soda.’ She said.
And that was it. Big, fat deaf lady ordered a mayo sandwich with salt and pepper and a small fountain drink. Freaking disgusting.”
One Of These Drinks Is Not Like The Others
“I worked at Taco Bell for four years. Once I turned 18, I had the privilege of being scheduled for closing shifts. One night after the bars close, a group comes through the drive-thru wasted. They order a bunch of $1 burritos and three Strawberry Frutista Freezes. One of the guys yells into the speaker that he wants a scoop of beef in his Frutista Freeze. I’m over this shift and this job and say, ‘Whatever, sounds good, your total is $X, please pull ahead.’
The closing manager is helping me out with drinks during the post-bar-close rush and decides to hand out the order to this car personally. The driver is taking the food/drinks and handing it to the passengers when someone from the back seat yells, ‘I hope you didn’t forget my beefy freeze!’ My manager replies, ‘We didn’t, but good luck figuring out which one is which.'”
You See It All In The Pizza Biz
“I work at Domino’s – we get weird ones in all the time.
One was a delivery and the guy requested ‘No eye contact.’
Someone requested we draw a giraffe on the box.
One guy wanted only one slice of pepperoni in the center of his pizza.
And my favorite: another delivery where the guy put in the instructions, ‘Watch out for rabid chinchilla.'”
Don’t Forget About The Horse
“I work in a fast food outlet in Ireland. One night at approximately 2 am, a middle-aged man arrived at the shop very wasted. Not only that, but he was on top of a horse he had stolen from a nearby field. He arrived up to the counter and demanded: ‘A portion of chips there, and something for the horse!’ It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life.”
No Ice? That’s Just A Half-Full Cup Of Puréed Fruit
“I used to work at McDonald’s, and one time during the dead of winter a woman ordered a smoothie and asked for it to be ‘not too cold.’ Another time a guy tried to order a smoothie with no ice. I don’t know what it is about blended drinks that is so difficult for people to understand.”
I’ve Never Seen A Case Of The Munchies Like This One
“I worked at Culvers during undergrad. All the burgers come plain, but guests have the choice of condiments. This guy walked in high off his rocker with his girlfriend. He said, ‘I want a triple with everything.’ A single patty is three ounces of beef by the way. Then he said, ‘I want a piece of each kind of cheese between each patty.’ We had American, Swiss, and cheddar. Finally, he declares, ‘I want everything on it, but can you give me like this much mayo?’ He held his fingers about half an inch apart.
Then he ordered a large cheese curd fries – which alone is like 1,000 calories – and a drink. Then he ordered the same thing for his girlfriend. She asked for no mayo.”
Do You Want Your Drink Cut In Half, Too?
“I work at McDonald’s, and I had a woman order a McChicken but with the bun and the chicken separate. She then ordered her fries… half-cut. As in, take a knife, cut them in half. My friend just gave her a look like, ‘What in the world are you talking about,’ and went to cook up the order while I rang the lady up.
It was lucky she only wanted a small fries, but still. I ended up leaving one fry uncut just to mess with her, but she didn’t come complaining.
I did find her trying to cut the chicken in half with a plastic knife she brought from home and eat it without the bun.
That’s the first weird thing I’ve seen at McDonald’s since working there, honestly…”
Olive The Other Options Weren’t As Appealing To Him
“I used to work at Subway. This guy would come in and order an ‘olive sandwich.’ It was a footlong on Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, with provolone cheese, no meat, not toasted, some lettuce and ungodly amounts of olives, topped with ranch.
We were only supposed to put four olives on each side (or something like that). He ended up ordering so many olives that my manager would charge him an extra $4. He ate it in the store. I gagged every time.”
Did He Stir It With His Pitchfork?
“I work at Starbucks. We had a guy ask for a latte steamed to 200 degrees (we normally steam to 150). I was thinking, ‘Whatever, it’s dead right now so steam it up!’
I thought this guy was getting it that hot so it could cool down after a decently long drive, but nope, he sipped it the minute he got it. Like, nice to meet you, Satan!”
Sometimes, The Customer Is Weirder Than Their Food
“I used to work at Subway and had a regular who would come in and get a normal sub, but when it came time to choose sauces is where it got weird.
He would give commentary like he was doing voice-overs for an adult film. Yeah spread that mayo on thick and mmmm make it juicy.
For the record, I’m a guy. And he was a spitting image of Jaws, aka the huge, angry-looking guy off of whose foot Shooter McGavin has to shoot a ball in ‘Happy Gilmore.'”
She Did The Math, And You Won’t Like It
“I used to work at Starbucks. On more than one occasion people have ordered a venti-sized (20-ounce) drink made with heavy cream, whether it be a latte or white chocolate mocha.
One ounce of heavy cream is 97 calories.
Multiply that by 20 and you have 1,940 calories! That’s not even including a flavor being put into the drink.
Don’t Underestimate A Hungry Teenager
“When I worked at McDonald’s as a teenager, a buddy of mine who worked across the street came into my restaurant on his lunch break. He ordered eight cheeseburgers.
I scoffed at him, claiming there’s no way he’d eat them all. He took his cheeseburgers, sat at a table where I could see him and stared at me nonstop as he ate every freaking cheeseburger. There’s something unnerving about watching sometime leer at you while they slowly eat.
He brought the tray up to me when he was done, with nothing but empty yellow wrappers on it. He placed it on the counter in front of me without saying a word, and left.”
That Baby Knows What It Wants
“I used to work at McDonald’s. A lady came in and told me that she was pregnant and was having weird cravings.
So you know how the Big Mac has three pieces of bread (top, middle, and bottom)? She ordered a Big Mac, but with a full crispy chicken patty in the middle. That pregnancy inspired a work of genius.”
I Think You’re Just Making Yourself Sadder
“I worked at a burrito place. A lady would come in once in a while for an all-lettuce burrito.
No salsa, no guac, nothing but the warm tortilla and shredded lettuce. I would have to guess that she was on a strict diet but craving a burrito, so she got the lowest calorie ‘burrito’ she could.”
He Just Loved “The Great One” That Much
“I worked at Tim Hortons once, and we had a guy who routinely came through the drive-thru asking for a large Gretzky.
What’s a Gretzky, you ask? It’s a coffee with nine sugars and nine creams (hence, hockey legend Wayne Gretzky’s jersey number, 99) and would just be a cup filled with sugar and cream, with a splash of coffee on top. He did this so often, it just stopped seeming like an anomaly until I remembered it later on.”
Mmm, I Love Burnt Blueberries In My Tuna
“When I worked at Tim Hortons, a guy used to come in and order a tuna salad sandwich on a toasted until burnt blueberry bagel with honey mustard.
He came in weekly for this sandwich.”
The Strangest Part Is, She Was The One Who Suggested Going To Starbucks
“One of my friends in high school was a Mormon, and her family was weird. She wasn’t that into it, but her mom and stepdad were over the top with their religion.
I went to the mall with them one time, and her mom asked if we wanted Starbucks. Heck yeah, I’m always down for frou-frou drinks, and especially when I’m not paying for it. So she and I ordered our Frappes or whatever and her mom stepped up to give her order. Now, apparently Mormons aren’t supposed to drink coffee/caffeine, so her mom asked for a latte, with no sugar, extra foam, and no coffee. It stumped the barista, and after a few moments of hesitation, she clarified that her mom just wanted a cup of steamed milk.
They didn’t have anything in their cash register system at the time for just a cup of milk, so she ended up paying like $4 for a cup of steamed milk.”
Is It Even A Hot Dog At That Point?
“I was the one ordering, or more specifically my mum ordered for me. We used to go out as a family every Sunday night and get hot dogs. I was 7 and an extremely picky eater; I made my mum order me a hot dog with everything, minus the actual hot dog. So just bread, sauce, and chips.
The cashier had to ask my mum to repeat herself three times because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.”
“Dunkin’ Donuts – a regular customer would order a large coffee coolatta (which is already pretty sweet), and then add 20 Splenda packets inside of it. He’d spend 10 minutes opening each packet individually and sprinkling them in one by one. Sometimes he would even ask for more.”
Just Two Best Friends Having Dinner Together
“I once had a guy come into KFC, hammered with his dog, and I looked at him like are you serious? He goes, ‘Oh, I should probably leave her outside right?’ And I’m like, ‘Probably.’ He takes the dog out and starts yelling at some teenagers out there then comes back in and says, ‘I want two meals, one for me and one for the dog.’
When I offered him a three-piece quarter pack for him and a snack box for the dog, he insisted on getting two three-piece quarter packs. I made them up for him, and he gave me four brews to keep cool in the fridge until he (and his dog) had finished their meal. He didn’t come back for them, so I drank them as I was cleaning up.”
Cheeseburgers Are Hard To Understand
“Worked in one of the fast food restaurants in EuroDisney this summer. The number of people who didn’t understand what a burger was astounded me. So many people would come up and complain that there was beef in their burger, it was amazing. In fairness, this was mostly with Hindu customers so I understood they couldn’t eat beef. But they were all either of French or English origin, so surely they’d have come across cheeseburgers and hamburgers at some point in their life.
‘Is there beef in this burger?!’
‘Yes sir, it’s a cheeseburger.’
‘If it’s a cheeseburger, why is there beef in it?’
‘Because there’s cheese on top.’
‘But why is there beef in it if it’s a cheeseburger?’
‘Because that’s what a burger is, sir.'”