Every Word He Said Was A Red Flag
“We met at a restaurant for the date. He started the conversation with how he became super attached to his last date and couldn’t understand why she ghosted him after only two weeks. Did I forget to mention he wanted my opinion on why it could have happened, like some strange brain storming session on his failed relationship?
I’d polished off my first tropical drink at this point and we haven’t even ordered apps yet, but the guy stopped obsessing about his last date long enough to inform me that he Facebook stalked me and loves that I went to Catholic School because he believes every word of the Bible is 100 correct.
I giggled, thinking he was generalizing. He went stoned faced and dead-eyed and reinforced that, ‘No, it’s not up for interpretation. Every single word is correct,’ and then said, ‘Excuse me I have to go to the bathroom I’ll be right back.’
I was in shock for two seconds because, it’s finally happening! I’m actually going to ditch a date for the first time in my life because everything in me is screaming RUN! I told the waitress not to bother asking about a food order and ordered two more drinks for myself and slipped her a tip, just in case, as he was coming back to the table.
I now knew I’d be ending my night in my ratty robe on my couch, so I might as well treat myself during this adventure. The guy came back, I excused myself to the bathroom and called a cab.
I came back and proceed to drink while waiting for my cab. He took my silence and heavy drinking as a sign of compliance or maybe Stockholm Syndrome, and proceeded to talk at me about how the Bible is 100% true and that my background, all assembled from Facebook stalking mind you, was a perfect fit for him. He would LOVE to meet my kid.
‘Say WHAT?’ I spoke up on this one with a strong, ‘No!’ He thought I was joking and kept making freaking plans about us. All of us. He, I, and my CHILD. He knew the town I lived in and would love to stay over a few nights a week so we could really ‘connect.’
Oh, and isn’t it funny that on that last date (yep we, or rather he, circled right back to her), lived right in the same town with her kid as well! Oh goodie! I finished my drink and waitress brought the other one I ordered while he was in bathroom. I was sucking them down like all the answers as to why this crazy date was happening were at the bottom of that glass. The whole time, he did not notice my bad attitude or heavy drinking. My phone ran. The cab was outside.
I sucked down rest of drink, stopped him mid-family vacation fantasy plan, and held my phone up and took his picture. I told him I just texted this photo to my best friend. If she does not hear from me in an hour, she would go to the police with it. The date was over and I wished him the best. I put my drink money on the table and left in the cab.
I drove to the restaurant. Yep, I abandoned my own car because the date was so bad. I forgot how truly messed up that date was.”
He Realized His True Worth That Night
“I am a big guy. Ok, I am freaking fat, it is what it is. So, I messaged this cute girl on OK Cupid and we talked a bit. She seemed really nice.
We met for dinner at Olive Garden. I didn’t dress up too much, but I wore some nice clothes. She looked amazing and way out of my league. (My profile had tons of pictures. It was no secret I was overweight). We are talking and finally ordered food. After we ordered, she asked if I was paying. Before I could answer, she said, ‘You know, I am only here for a meal. A girl like me would never date a guy like you.’
It killed me because it just all flopped right there. She took a picture of me so she could show her friends the loser she was eating dinner with. People at the tables next to us were looking at her. I didn’t know what to do, so I said I had to go to the bathroom. Explained my situation to the front. Prepaid. I had them pack up my food in a to-go box, and told them to bring it with her food to the table.
I went back to the table. She was still being nasty. The food showed up. She’s confused. I told her she’s a disgusting person and she could eat by herself. She still had the nerve to ask if I was paying. I told her nasty people like her pay their own way and a guy at the table adjacent to ours chuckled.
She tried to cry, but it just sounded overly fake. I left and enjoyed my Olive Garden at home.”
She Didn’t Care Even A Little Bit
“We met outside of one of my favorite restaurants. She was texting on her phone, shook my hand, and barely looked up.
We got seated, all the while she was till on her phone texting. So I asked her normal date things to only get ‘Yeahs,’ and eventually a, ‘Hold on a second,’ after my third attempt at striking up any sort of conversation. I asked if everything was OK, I figured after the ‘hold on a second’ comment, something bad might’ve happened. She responded by saying her friends were a priority.
I was kind of taken back. Our waitress walked up right after that and my date cut her off as she was greeting us with a huffy, ‘Finally!’ Then she barked her drink order at the waitress about as rudely as possible and went right back to her phone. I asked for water, then said, ‘Excuse me’ and got up after about a minute of silence. I found the waitress, gave her a $20, and said I was leaving and apologized.
It was the quickest date of my life. All in, 10-15 minutes, max. I’ve never met anyone close to that rude on a date in my life. I always tell myself I got all my bad dates in one. Here’s to hoping that’s true!!”
She Only Was Concerned With One Thing
“I was on my first date with a woman, whom I will admit looked a little too high maintenance for my tastes.
About 20 minutes into some basic chit-chat over dinner and drinks, she straight up went, ‘Let me get straight to the point. How massive is your junk?’
I took my wallet out and left 40 bucks for our two drinks and I walked out. I didn’t even reply. Really people?”
She Hid Her Crazy Backstory Well
“On the fourth date, she told me the real reason she changed jobs.
She told me originally that she used to be a prison guard and got cancer, so all the medical stuff forced a change of work. Now she works as a nurse. This is important.
At this dinner, she tells me in a totally casual way that because of having cancer, she felt like she needed to let go and be exciting, so she started dating two prisoners that were in the prison where she was a guard. She used to smuggle them in cell phones and other stuff. I asked her how, out of pure morbid curiosity, and she told me, ‘Women have natural pockets that fit lots of stuff.’
Then she told me she was caught because someone walked in on them hooking up in his cell and the other inmate she was dating got jealous and turned them in. She said the reason she wasn’t in jail was because the prison psychologist testified she was in an altered mental state because of the cancer diagnosis.
She went to the bathroom and I promptly ran. She called me every day for two weeks before giving up.”
Casual Racism Is Never A Good Look
“I’m a teacher at a school with a large percentage of students that come from low-income families. Great people, they are wonderful parents that care and want the best for their kids, but a lot work multiple jobs to keep food on the table. It isn’t in the best part of town, but my kids work their butts off for me which is really all I can ask. My kids mean the world to me.
So I went on a date after coming out of a long-term relationship. We went to one of my favorite bars that has really great food. First, he made a lot of extraneous noises when he ate. A lot of ‘mmms’ going on. Okay fine, I can deal with it for one date.
Then we started talking about work. I talked about my students because they take up a lot of my life and I love them to death. He asked where I work. I told him where and he grimaced. I asked what that face was for.
He paused briefly and said, ‘I don’t know why someone as pretty and educated as you would want to work at a ghetto black school.’
I grabbed $20 out of my wallet, which was more than enough for my bill and the tip, put it on the table, and walked out the door. Here’s the best part: he asked about a second date.”
She Met Two Of The Lowest Of The Low
“One was just super uncomfortable. After a few days of texting on Tinder, we met up for dinner and the whole time he kept talking about how he’s always wanted to hook up with a black girl (fun fact I’m not actually black, just brown skin) and how I’m the first one to actually agree to go on a date with him. He talked about his fetish for black women the entire time and it was super weird. I really loved the restaurant though, so I toughed it out.
After I ate, I went to the bathroom and talked to my waitress about paying my half of the tab and I walked out without looking back. He sent me a slew of really mean, racist texts after I left him, so obviously I made the right choice.
The only other time I walked out on a date was about a year ago when I went out with a super hot guy. It was just supposed to be for an easy lay but we met for drinks to make sure there was a connection. On the date, he told me how he doesn’t really take no for an answer and how all women have an assault fantasy, so he loves being forceful until they submit to him.
It was honestly terrifying hearing how proud he was of this. I lied to him and said I was dominant and not interested in sleeping with dominant men. He literally said, ‘I love forcing women like you the most to show you your place.’
I got up to the restroom and got the heck out. I reported him on Bumble and he got removed from the app but holy crap was he terrifying. I have no idea if he actually has assaulted anyone but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had.”
Three Times Unlucky
“I had 3 incidents:
1 – I matched with the guy on an online dating site, vetted him by frequent texts back and forth, talked to him on the phone to ensure we were compatible before meeting in person. We met in person and the lies started unraveling. Halfway through the date, I couldn’t stand the lies anymore since they were dealbreakers for me – turns out the dude was married, lived out of state, and was in AA. I politely told him it wasn’t going to work out, paid for the meal and left.
2 – I had a coffee date with a former classmate around 4 pm. The date went well, we parted ways around 6 pm, but continued texting throughout the evening. I had mentioned I was celebrating a friend’s birthday that night at a local bar. At around midnight, he showed up at the bar because I hadn’t responded to his texts and he accused me of bailing on him. He called me names, embarrassed me in front of friends, he was so belligerent that he got thrown out of the bar. Then he continued berating me over text, and harassed me throughout the night well into the weekend. Blocked his number for a few hours, then told him the next day that it wasn’t going to work out. I call this a walkout since he was under the impression that the date hadn’t ended when I left.
3- We met at a bar. We chatted for a while and he was pleasant to talk to, charming, etc… so we got a table and decided to continue chatting over more drinks/dinner.
Then his friends showed up, joined us and he turned into a total loser. He was rude to me, made crude comments and jokes about other patrons, bragged about how he was very smart because he went to Harvard, talked about his great investments and their amazing returns. At one point, he told me, very loudly, ‘Hon, go to the bar and get something expensive on my tab.’ I went to the bar, closed my bill and left, didn’t explain myself or say goodbye.”
He Knew He Needed To Get Out Of There…FAST!
“One of my co-workers set me up on a blind date with one of her friends. I’ve never done a blind date before but my co-worker insisted that we would get along great. I coordinated with them and settled on going to a local outdoor mall to grab some lunch and then go to a candy making class later. I like dates to involve some sort of craft, it gives us a chance to talk more and is more memorable, or at least I think it is.
Come the day of the date, I showed up early, like about 15 minutes early at least. My date was already there so I went up and introduced myself. We chatted for a bit and eventually, I suggested we go inside the restaurant and grab lunch. She informed me that she already ate and she’d rather get going than wait any longer.
Okay, I guess she was just really hungry, weird, but I can understand that. First, she wanted to look at this store that just opened on the other side of the shopping center, so we got in my car (the shopping center is actually quite large, a few miles from one end to the other). While driving there, she kept complimenting how nice my car is and kept asking what type of job I have, implying that I make big bucks. I should also note that this was the first time she put away her phone.
I was already checked out from this date.
Eventually, we wound up in a department store where she started trying on clothes. She came out and asked me what I thought of the blouse she just tried on. I told her I thought it looked good on her and fit her well. She says I should buy it for her if it looked that good on her.
I laughed, thinking, ‘Good joke. No way she’s asking a guy she just met in the past 30 minutes to buy her a blouse with a three-figure price tag.’ Oh wait, she’s crying and screaming now. Apparently, she’s tired of men leading her on, telling her she’s pretty but not ‘putting their money where their mouth is.’
As soon as she said that, it all clicked and I knew what was going on. I asked her to calm down and told her that although I thought the blouse was pretty, I didn’t think the cut fit her figure well enough, nor did the color complement her eyes so I didn’t want to buy it. I asked her to go back inside and change into her clothes so that we could go look at something that was better, then I would buy it.
She calmed down and went back went back inside. I apologized to the store clerk, then walked out and drove away, leaving her over a mile away from her car. I’m a person, not a bank.”
She Probably Still Hasn’t Noticed That He’s Gone
“She showed up late.
Spoke in one-word answers.
Stared at her phone and texted other people.
Yelled at the waiter for filling her water too much.
I finished my food. Placed a $20 on the table. Walked out. Then blocked her on my phone. I would say I don’t think she even noticed, but I was her ride home.”
She Was An Angry One!
“We went to TGI’s. She sent back a drink three times saying it wasn’t right. She gave me a spiel that I had to order for her. Weird. The waiter came and I ordered what she asked for. Chicken quesadillas. I got kicked under the table by her for that.
The waiter awkwardly left and she said she wanted a burger. I replied that she never said that, it’s no biggie, I’ll go ask the waiter to change it. She went completely nuts and caused a big scene.
I feigned going to the bathroom and luckily didn’t have a jacket. I slipped the waiter money to which he said he would just void the order and told me to go, quickly.
She chased me out, shouting through streets for a mile. I had an iPhone at the time so couldn’t block her number.”
Don’t Tell Her How To Eat!
“The date and the casual conversation at a gourmet burger place was going okay. I wasn’t aware that I had squirted a small puddle of ketchup on my plate two or three times. The next time I ran out and picked up the bottle, the guy lurched across the table, grabbed the bottle from my hands and said, ‘OH MY GOD, just put more ketchup on the first time!’ and filled half my plate with ketchup.
I blinked, stood up and walked out, drove away.
I’m not going to date some controlling OCD madman who polices a plate of greasy fries. Since that date a few years back, I’ve noticed a lot of people are more than happy to tell you how to season or order your own food.
Once I see this, that person is on my list of ‘to be avoided at all costs.'”
She Wanted To Double Her Chances
“I went to dinner and a movie with a female coworker who had been expressing a lot of interest in me.
After a very flirtatious dinner, we got to the theater and run into another male coworker, whom she apparently invited? I was thinking what the heck is this nonsense?
We sat down and she laid her head against my shoulder and held my hand, so I thought, ‘Ok maybe this is just kind of an odd thing because she’s all over me so whatever.’ Then, halfway through the movie, she switches up and drapes herself over him. (I know where some of you might be thinking she was going with this but I’m VERY certain she wasn’t looking for a 3-way).
I wasn’t all that invested in her so I didn’t just bail, you know, I paid to see the movie so I’m going to watch it. The movie ended and we got to the lobby and she headed to the bathroom, leaving the two of us guys there to wait for her. I just turned to him, put my hand on his shoulder and told him, ‘Dude, she is all yours’ and took my leave.
After working there a while, I could see she suffered from princess syndrome. We were supposed to prostrate ourselves in competition for her affection and cheapen our value in order to affirm hers. Nah thanks.”
What A Creep!
“I met a guy online and texted for a couple of weeks before agreeing to meet for dinner. The guy was white and I am Indian but it didn’t seem to be an issue when were texting.
We get to dinner and start talking and all this guy will talk about is how he LOVES Indian women. Their ‘beautiful golden brown skin, dark eyes and hair and their quiet nature,’ is so so attractive to him.
I texted my friend to call me, made a lame excuse about an emergency and walked out before we got our entrees. I proceeded to block the guy from all social media and phone.”
(T,P) The Guy Thought He David Letterman Or Something
“He absolutely refused to acknowledge my presence, except for when he said hi.
This was back in OkCupid days, about 8 years ago now. We met at a local cafe, he seemed nice. We sat down at a table that had booths on one side and two tables on the other. I slid into the booth and he sat down on the table diagonal to me, so I had to lean across the entire time. He did not acknowledge this, sat looking straight forward, and talked to the wall behind me. He didn’t look at me again during the entire date.
I originally expected the date to last for 30 minutes but I didn’t want to be rude and end it abruptly. It lasted for two hours. TWO HOURS. He was rude to our waitress (yelling at her because the coffee was cold but it had been sitting, untouched, in front of him for 40 minutes), he was rude to me (playing devil’s advocate the entire time or would make personal jokes/attacks), and finally, he’d finish sentences by cracking a joke followed by a ‘rimshot’ sound and turn to look in the opposite direction, as if he was talking to a studio audience.
I finally pretended my phone was ringing and that I had to go. I didn’t come up with an explanation. I just walked out.
I felt really bad about it and sent him an apology text after but man, that guy was nuts.”