Servers see the absolute worst in people and sometimes, there's no better way to respond than with sweet, sarcastic comments. These servers share the one-liners and acts of paybacks they did to the absolute rudest customers they ever met.
*Content has been edited for clarity.
Complaining Really Ages You
“I work at Arby’s, and one time, a woman in her mid thirty’s came in, and started being extremely rude, complained about everything, and called us all horrible names. I gave her the senior discount. She didn’t say a word afterward.”
This Bartender Would Ruin This Rude Customer’s Date
“I’m a bartender. This guy used to come into my bar late at night, always with a different woman. He was incredibly rude, (a money waver and yeller and just all around jerky guy), so I waited until he brought in a girl that was especially attractive and then casually asked him if he could thank the girl that he’d brought in the night before because she ‘tipped me really well.’ His date left without him about half an hour later.”
A Hot Cup Of Revenge
“My fiancée works at a diner and had a regular who was a total see-you-next-Tuesday. She’d be rude, tip horrendously, and once even made her cry. One day, my fiancée got fed up and decided to do something about it. This lady always ordered coffee, so she took off her sock at the end of her double shift and stewed it in water all night. The next day, she used that water to make this lady’s coffee. No other customers were harmed with sock coffee.”
Never Insult The Chef
“There was a guy who came into the restaurant where I worked on the waiting side, who was a complete knob. Complained about everything. He moved tables multiple times, clicked his fingers when he wanted someone’s attention until they came to the table. On top of that, he talked down to everyone and sent every course back multiple times.
It was a hotel restaurant so this went on for a week until the third night the chef got sick of him and started messing up his meals deliberately because, well, he was going to complain anyway. The chef would give him raw instead of steamed veggies, underdone steak (he ordered well done), lumpy mash, but the best of ‘mess-up’ of all was near the end of his visit with us.
He had not ordered this yet and when the check came in, the chef lit up. There was a gravy on the meal the jerk ordered, so he sent it out and it was perfect (knowing it would get sent back) – it was stunning. I know because when it got sent back without being touched, I got to eat it and the chef made another while I watched and ate the first (it was a quiet night).
He opened the grease trap above the cooker and got a nice big slimy handful and chucked it into the gravy – mixed it all in and this stuff was freaking vile. The guest ate it… still complained about it being cold but ate it.”
Don’t Anger The Delivery Driver
“Delivery Driver. Dude would tip only the change. One time the pizzas were $18.95 and he gave me a nickel for a tip. He ordered from us almost daily. All the drivers were sick of him. So next time I delivered his pizza to him, I casually handed the pizza to him upside down. He never ordered from us again.”
He Got His Sausage Pizza Alright
“I used to make pizzas. Once, we had a customer order for delivery on a busy Friday night a small sausage pizza. Just sausage. Delivery guy takes the order, returns with the pizza – the customer said not enough cheese. Ok, whatever, we remake the thing and add extra cheese. Off it goes again. Delivery guy again returns with it; this time there’s too much sausage AND too much cheese. My boss decides to personally remake the pizza. Only he decides to make the pizza he deserves, not the one he ordered.