Arizona Diamondbacks - Churro Dog
It's sweet, and it's simple. Instead of meat, there's churro. Instead of traditional toppings, there's ice cream and chocolate sauce. It's just one of the many great things you can get at Chase Field.
Atlanta Braves - The Hammer
So-named because of the way it affects digestive systems across the South, these "sandwiches" use waffles as bread and contain within them fried chicken, bacon, pepper jack cheese, and pecan-maple mayo.
Baltimore Orioles - The Walk Off
It's a giant sausage inside a pretzel that's then topped with crab dip and Old Bay seasoning. After eating this, the one thing you won't be doing is walking off from your seat.
Boston Red Sox - Chicken Taco Salad
The best thing about one of these is that after you have it, you can legitimately tell people that all you had at the ball game was a salad. Never mind the fact that the salad also included the bowl. At least people will think you're trying.
Chicago Cubs - Chicago Dogs
While the Cubbies have gone a long time without any significant success on the field, their food selections are consistently spectacular, and none more so than the classic Chicago Dogs. With all the classic toppings like onions, tomatoes, and hot peppers, this snack may be the one thing at Wrigley that will leave you with a good taste in your mouth.
Chicago White Sox - Three Pound Banana Split
There's nothing tricky about this bad boy, just three pounds of ice cream and banana hanging out in a batting helmet that (hopefully) isn't game-worn. The Sox front office even claims that it's a value, because if you share it with your friends, you'll split the $17 cost between you, and also because you'll value your life more after you have brain freeze for an hour and a half.
Cincinnati Reds - Chicken Spice Box
While traditional buffalo wings are generally better than boneless wings, it's understandable how the latter might be the more sensible option for this basket. It's got the chicken, as well as fries, blue cheese crumbles, and celery slices. Hopefully they're not charging any extra for napkins.
Cleveland Indians - The Thomenator
An homage to former Indians slugger Jim Thome, this behemoth of a hot dog comes with loads of sauerkraut, diced onions, and, for good measure, three pierogis. Because, you know, pierogis.
Colorado Rockies - Taco Hot Dog
The hot dog has always been a traditional ballpark staple, but now the Rockies have decided to take it to the next level by taco-ing it into a new state of awesome. Not only does this taco dog (hotaco? daco?) have great toppings, but the meat itself is actually chorizo.
Detroit Tigers - Bacon And Eggs
The Tigers aren't trying to do anything fancy here, at least not at a first glance. Sure, that piece of bacon is huge, which equates to it being awesome, but that's not all. Those eggs right there? They're Sriracha deviled eggs. That's some Motown magic.
Houston Astros - Fried Chicken Waffle Cone
Everything is bigger in Texas, and that includes the creative food minds that live there. This cone holds fried chicken, as well as mashed potatoes and honey mustard. Although it's not ice cream, waffle cone enthusiasts everywhere will probably be OK with this.
Kansas City Royals - Steak And Cheese Dog
The Royals came close to having a winning combination on the field last year, but they certainly nailed it with this food option. It's a hot dog with steak and cheese on it, leading everyone to wonder why they themselves didn't think of something so elegant yet simple first.
Los Angeles Angels - The Halo Dog
While this hot dog isn't as egregiously over the top like some of the other items on this list, it's still incredibly tasty. The dog itself is wrapped inside bacon, and on top you'll find beans, cheese, pico, and relish. Whoever came up with these amazing things was clearly not the same guy who came up with the Pujols contract.
Los Angeles Dodgers - The Victory Knot
Simple. Beautiful. Pretzel. All of these words come to mind when looking at one of the Dodgers' flagship food items. This pretzel is over two pounds and comes with plenty of sauces for dipping, so bring some friends and have some fun.
Miami Marlins - Burger 305
While it's called a burger, the patty here is actually made from two kinds of shrimp that come from the surrounding waters. It comes with lettuce, tomatoes, jalapeños, and a lime aiolo, all of which combine to make it a bigger home run than anything except for the bomb Giancarlo Stanton just hit. And the other one he just hit. And the third. You get it.
Milwaukee Brewers - Nachos On A Stick
You may be wondering how the people at Miller Park managed to do this, but it turns out it's just a corn dog coated in crumbled nacho chips, cheese, and sour cream. It's not that it's a bad thing at all, just that it's a little underwhelming.
Minnesota Twins - Turkey To Go
This fan favorite may seem like just a turkey sandwich, but in reality it's actually a really, really good turkey sandwich with sauces that complement it as well as Minnesotans compliment each other.
New York Mets - Mama's Special
Out of all the great selections at Citi Field, this sandwich takes the cake. It's got Genoa salami, pepper ham, mozzarella, and, if you ask for them, roasted peppers and marinated mushrooms. It's practically as good as the actual baseball team.
New York Yankees - Family Slider Deal
Because you can definitely afford to take your family to a Yankees game, you can also definitely afford a ton of food there (NOT), which is why you'll get this slider bucket that, for just $20, gets you five sliders, a pound of fries, and the bucket in which it comes.
Oakland Athletics - Kalua Pork Nachos
Another dish to come in a batting helmet, these nachos are topped with shredded pork, cheese, guac, and jalapeños. Get yours soon though, because these nachos, like anything else belonging to the A's, are liable to be traded away at any time.
Philadelphia Phillies - The Schmitter
Only available in section 140 of Citizens Bank Park, this incredible sandwich has everything you could ever want, assuming that everything you could ever want means steak, salami, grilled onions, tomatoes, cheesy cheese, and special sauce.
Pittsburgh Pirates - Cuban Pretzel Dog
Giant pretzel bun: check. Giant hot dog: check. Cuban sandwich materials (pulled pork, cheese, pickles, and mustard): check. This thing looks like a whole lot of a good thing. Good luck getting it back to your seat in one piece though.
San Diego Padres - Carne Asada Fries
Instead of losing yourself in the cavern that is Petco Park's spacious outfield, lose yourself in these delicious fries that come with the meat, cheese, and guac you love to love.
San Francisco Giants - Dungeness Crab Sandwich
The crab is juicy and the sourdough bread it comes on is buttery, so what's not to like about one of the more unusual offerings to be found in a ballpark?
Seattle Mariners - Oyster Po'Boy
These sandwiches have the double benefit of being both tasty and locally sourced, as Puget Sound, near Seattle, is a source of many oysters. Would you expect anything else in a city with so many hipsters?
St. Louis Cardinals - Breaded Chicken Waffle Sandwich
A new Busch Stadium concoction. The bread of the sandwich is obviously made from waffles, and in between it's got breaded chicken and maple bacon syrup. Oh, and those are cheesy tater tots as a side.
Tampa Bay Rays - Fan Vs. Food Burger
This one involves a challenge, as anyone who can finish the four-pound burger and the two pounds of fries that accompany it will get a t-shirt and two tickets to a future Rays game. However, you only get half an hour to tackle the task, so hats off to you if you complete it. You, on the other hand, will probably go belts off.
Texas Rangers - Murph-A-Dilla
This thing is literally two feet long. Topped with brisket, lettuce, tomato, and jalapeños, is there any way this thing could get more awesome? Oh yeah, it's gently resting atop a pile of Doritos.
Toronto Blue Jays - Smoked Pork Sandwich
Canada's only remaining major league team has nothing to prove when it comes to the food department, but it still puts forth high-quality options like this sandwich that comes topped with slaw and apple chutney.
Washington Nationals - The Strasburger
Eight pounds of beef. Do you need to know more?