All He Said Was

Borja Andreu/Shutterstock

All He Said Was "Fruit"

"I worked in a supermarket for about a year and a half and I've had some crazies. The best one, by far, was a man walking up to me and demanding I show him fruit. I asked him what specific kind of fruit, as they are stored in different parts of the store, and he just replied with 'Fruit.' So I took him to the part of the store where most of the fruit was kept and asked him if that was going to be okay. He then asked me for fruit in bags. I explained that he could put the fruit into the fruit bags to take to the till. He then decided that none of this fruit was the fruit he was looking for. After what felt like weeks of trying to coax what fruit he was looking for out of him, walking him up and down the fruit and veggie aisles, three different managers had to get involved after he started yelling at me because I 'didn't know where the fruit was.' He cussed us all out and walked away. 20 minutes later, he came marching up to me, shoved a bag of raisins in my face, screamed, 'FRUIT!' and walked away."

When The Fries Weren't Fresh Enough For Her, They Pulled A Little Prank

Lisa F. Young/Shutterstock

When The Fries Weren't Fresh Enough For Her, They Pulled A Little Prank

"I worked at a fast food place for a while and had this one regular who ALWAYS had something to complain about.

The worst was that no matter what, our fries were NEVER fresh.

Whenever we saw her, we'd drop fresh fries just so she wouldn't complain about them. She'd order, we'd give her fries directly from the fryer, and she'd tell us they weren't fresh...What the heck? My manager got them from her, walked to the back, and brought her the exact same container and apologized. The lady said, 'These are perfect!' and went about her day."

This Man's Actions Almost Count As Assault


This Man's Actions Almost Count As Assault

"I worked in a BBQ place for a while, quit after a month because it was so crappy. A big factor into me leaving was this instance.

We had a special where instead of paying the $8.99 for a chicken and sausage plate, you could pay $6.99. The only difference was the sale was for cutter's choice only, meaning the person cutting the meat chose if you got light or dark meat. It kept us from throwing away the dark meat because everyone wanted white. The sign warned people that if you have a preference, you have to pay for the regular choice plate. It was clear, we told them at the window as well that they'd likely be getting dark meat.

A man came through and ordered one with a pint of our BBQ sauce. We usually gave 2-3 little cups of sauce because you could cover the meat completely with that, but this guy felt he needed a pint for his single plate of food. At the window, the girl taking his order told him that next up is dark meat. He said he wanted white and she asked if he wanted to switch to the choice plate. She was clear that if he said no, he'd be getting dark meat because we weren't allowed to cut another piece for a special plate unless the last one was gone. He said he wanted the cheap one. We made his plate, he drove off, and a couple seconds later we heard tires squealing.

He did a freaking doughnut in our parking lot, parked in the center of two spaces, and marched through the door. Before I could even react, he threw the freaking pint of sauce onto the counter while screaming about dark meat and calling me some choice names. And the sauce is kept simmering, so by throwing it, he effectively covered me in near boiling, sticky sauce. From my glasses down to my waist, I had splotches. Luckily I was wearing an apron and my glasses kept it away from my eyes. I had red welts and blisters when I rinsed it off after running to the back.

Came back out and he's smiling with a crap-eating grin, waving around his plate of white meat at me and taunting me. I told him that I didn't even take his order in not the most pleasant way, and then got sent to the back for swearing.

They tried to make me stay late after yelling at me, I walked out."

You Run Into The Most Interesting People At The Grocery Store


You Run Into The Most Interesting People At The Grocery Store

"I work at a grocery store as a cashier. I asked a woman once how her weekend went. She replied with:

'Well, I have to take care of my mother and my mother-in-law full time because they're on hospice and I can't work because I have spinal meningitis and the pain is too bad. This weekend, I had to drive my sister to three different hospitals to see specialists for her cerebral palsy and visit my uncle who has eye cancer.' Now here it's important to note that this woman was buying nothing but sixteen gallons of distilled water. 'That's why I'm buying this water. I use it to make a tea that cures cancer. I can see you have freckles, so you're going to get skin cancer someday. Let me write down the recipe for you. It really works! My uncle was supposed to die a year ago, but hasn't because I make him this tea.'

Later, cancer tea lady came back and told me she had adopted an 11-year-old dog with fifteen puppies that would have been put down without her because it had cancer, but she had cured it with her tea and was not suffering taking care of the fifteen puppies.

Then she came back again, buying ten trays of chicken that she claimed she couldn't touch because she was allergic to all meat and it would make her skin rot."

Late Nights At The Grocery Store Can Be Unsettling

Ezume Images/Shutterstock

Late Nights At The Grocery Store Can Be Unsettling

"I worked at a grocery store in high school and college. In the summer, I also had a full-time factory job, so I would work the graveyard shift at the grocery story on the weekends because I was already on a third shift schedule. So I'm all alone one night, and this strung out couple comes in with bags full of crap. They say they want to return it all. It's 2 am and the service desk was closed, so I couldn't refund anything. The guy started screaming at me and getting in my face. He was over 6 feet, strung out, and likely over 200 pounds and I'm a 5-foot girl who is 120 pounds soaking wet. The woman was also shrieking and pounding her fist on the register. I'm certain they needed the money for drugs due to withdrawal, so they were acting really crazy. I tried to call back to grocery, but they must have gone out on a smoke break, so I was all alone. I couldn't give them money out of the register (that is theft and I would be fired), but I feared for my safety. I had just gotten paid that day, so I gave them money out of my wallet so they would leave me alone. The next morning, when the service desk opened, it turns out the stuff they tried to return was half used or stuff we didn't even sell. I had to eat the cost of it because my manager was a jerk. Freaking junkies..."

Accidents Happen, But This Is Ridiculous!


Accidents Happen, But This Is Ridiculous!

"Watched a man carrying six bottles of red wine simply drop all six bottles on the ground (shattering them) and walk out of the store, khakis stained bright red like a savage, business casual warlord.

My assumption was that it was an accident and he was horribly embarrassed and just left. I'd like to believe that it was an intentional piece of performance art, because it was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed."

Milk Can Be A Touchy Subject For Some People


Milk Can Be A Touchy Subject For Some People

"I used to work at a grocery store as a bagger. This guy said he wanted his milk in a bag, and he had a lot of stuff, so when I finally got around to the milk (cause prioritizing and all that jazz), I wanted to confirm that's what he said. It just slipped my mind. So I asked again.

He proceeded to yell, so loud that the next two lanes got quiet and they were all staring at what was going on, 'Are you freaking stupid? You have hearing problems? Where is your manager? They should fire you for being so stupid. I already said I wanted it in the bag.'

For Pete's sake, I just want to make people happy. Of course, the jerk manager was working that day, so he didn't say a word, even though he watched it go down. I at least had the sympathy of the checkers from the other two lanes."

He Never Expected To Have This Conversation

Luis Molinero/Shutterstock

He Never Expected To Have This Conversation

"You get all kinds of whackos in pizza places.

One day, this French Canadian guy and his friend walked in to pick up their pizza. He was a couple minutes early, so while he waited, I got him to pay, and we had a conversation that went like this:

Him: 'What do you think of Chinese people?'

Me: 'I...uh...Don't have an opinion on the entirety of Chinese people as a whole.'

Him: 'Oh yeah? We hate Chinese people.' His friend nodded in approval.

Me: 'Okay...You can hate whoever you want, but it's not any of my business.'

Him: 'Don't be like that.'

Me: 'Like what?'

Him: 'Don't act like we are racist.'

Me: 'Well, you kind of are.'

Him: 'Everybody hates Chinese people in Quebec. They screw up everything and their women are ugly.'

Me: 'Here's your pizza.'

Him: 'What are you, some sort of Chinese lover?'

Me: 'Yes, I am.'

Him: 'I knew it. You disgust me.'

Me: 'Have a good night.'

Him: (while walking away) 'Freaking race traitor!' Plus some more racist crap I couldn't quite make out.

Throughout the whole conversation, in my head, I was thinking, 'ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?!'

Being white is pretty easy, but one thing I dislike about it is when racists assume you are also racist because you're white. Screw you, and keep your disgusting opinions to yourself."

This Man Uses Smoothies In A Truly Weird Way


This Man Uses Smoothies In A Truly Weird Way

"Worked at a Target and have literally a thousand stories, but the one that sticks out to me was one I wasn't actually present for. Gentleman walked in one day with a blender, sat down in our Starbucks, and proceeded to make himself a smoothie. I can't emphasize enough that this is retail, this is hardly the weirdest thing that's ever happened to us. The floor leader on duty asked if he needed anything, was he looking for anything, the guy smiled and said, 'No, thank you,' very polite. When he's finished, he takes the blender, goes into the bathroom, and proceeds to pour the smoothie onto his head and begin to shave. In a Target bathroom, which admittedly, are already a little akin to the Twilight Zone, the Australia on the world map of Target, if you will. Anyway, a male employee was sent in to ask what exactly he was doing, and apparently, the man replied with, 'What? It's not like I'm doing anything illegal! What're you going to do, call the cops?'

Yes, apparently. I guess several other male employees were called up to guard the door before anyone else could get in before police arrived. Don't know exactly what happened to the guy, but I'm glad he's getting use out of his blender."

She Tried So Hard To Make Her Feel Bad For Working At A Grocery Store


She Tried So Hard To Make Her Feel Bad For Working At A Grocery Store

"I used to work in a grocery store while I was in high school. I once had a woman come up to my till with her son (about 11-12 years old) and she told him, 'Make sure you keep up with your studies or you'll wind up bagging groceries all your life like this girl!'

I said, 'Ma'am, I'm in high school. I'm saving for university.'

Then she said, 'But you're probably going to study something soft, like psychology or art.' (What?)

And I was like, 'Actually, I'm thinking of going for engineering or physics.'

Then she said, 'You know you'll need really high grades for those, you probably don't have them.'

I explained that I was actually getting mid/high 90s in all my classes. She then confessed that she had gotten, like, 17% in her high school physics class. I think that was the real reason she was trying to put the pressure on her kid to do well. I kind of wish I had had some snappy comeback or something, but I was just so dumbfounded in the moment. I didn't even feel insulted, I was just trying not to laugh."

Security Knew To Keep A Close Watch On Her


Security Knew To Keep A Close Watch On Her

"I followed a woman around who was infamous for stealing shopping carts full of food. She would walk them through an empty register line and just leave. I made it clearly obvious I was following her, painstakingly obvious. I even heard her talking to someone on her phone and she said, 'They're following me, do they think I'm dumb?'

We didn't think she was dumb, but we wanted her to know we were watching her every move.

She dumped the cart and ran through the parking lot. When I stood in the foyer to catch a license plate, she dropped to the ground between cars and crawled to her car.

We were in a upper-middle class neighborhood."

They Wanted Him To Commit A Felony Just So They Could Get A Tree


They Wanted Him To Commit A Felony Just So They Could Get A Tree

"I worked in a large grocery store. In another part of the city was a smaller drug store owned by the same company, but we are separate (Hy-vee and Hy-vee drugstore). The drug store has a pretty extensive garden center outside with trees. They also closed at 9 pm, while we were 24/7. So late at night, this older couple from out of town came in, wanting to buy a tree from the drug store, but they were closed. There was nothing I could do about it, sorry, they open again in the morning. 'But we live hours away!!'

Then they actually wanted me to drive across town in the company van, somehow break through the locked fence, and steal the tree for them. This was at about 10 pm, and they were serious."

What's Up With That Funky Smell?

Lobur Alexey Ivanovich/Shutterstock

What's Up With That Funky Smell?

"So many people leave perishable foods all over grocery store shelves. The worst was when the olive oil aisle started to smell funky. A week went by and now the whole aisle really smelled rancid. One of the managers was adamant about finding the phantom stink menace. He found it alright. Tucked way back behind the bottles was a salad that some jerkface decided they didn't want anymore and hid. It had shrimp, tuna, berries and who knows what else in it. You couldn't even tell because of the crazy mold growing on it. If you don't want something anymore, just put it back you lazy jerk. There are also garbage cans everywhere. This store will not charge you if you tell them you don't want it anymore at checkout. Drives me up a wall when people are this lazy and inconsiderate."

When She Tried To Be Nice, She Got Chewed Out

Lisa F. Young/Shutterstock

When She Tried To Be Nice, She Got Chewed Out

"Worked in a local fruit market as a teenager.

Packed this lady's grocery bag and when I went to put it in her shopping cart, she started screaming at me about what a horrible young girl I was and don't I have any compassion, etc.

Turns out, she had her pet rabbit sitting in the bottom of the cart, wrapped in a fur coat, no less. I was 'trying to crush it to death' by being nice and loading up her groceries for her.

I ended up crying while the next lady in line consoled me."

Everyone Expected Her To Burst Into Tears After That

Pop Paul-Catalin/Shutterstock

Everyone Expected Her To Burst Into Tears After That

"I worked at a smaller candy store where we only had one worker per shift. One day, during our downtown's music fest, a man walked in with his wife.

I was standing there, frantically helping all of the other customers, when the man walked up to me and went, 'Do you have a bathroom?'

Now, we did have a bathroom, but it wasn't open to the public (it wasn't up to code) so I politely said, 'No, I'm sorry. But I know that the pizza place down the street does!'

And this Blows. His. Mind.

He made his wife put down the candy she was going to buy and started yelling, 'YEAH WELL, WHERE DO YOU PEE THEN?! That's freaking ridiculous! Go to Hell!' And then he started backing out of the store, yelling at me to go to Hell. All of the other customers were staring at him, then at me. Once the man left, they just stared at me, waiting for me to cry or something.

I didn't, but I did say, 'Okay, have a nice day!' as soon as the guy left, and got some giggles from the other people in the store."

A New Flavor Coming To An Ice Cream Parlor Near You


A New Flavor Coming To An Ice Cream Parlor Near You

"I worked at an ice cream shop that had a minor scandal after someone let fly the rumor that we were going to be making our ice cream with breast milk. Yuck.

Anyway, one night I had a group of moms and their young children come in. One of the women came up to the counter and asked me about the rumor.

'No, we will not be making ice cream with breast milk,' I told her. 'It's just not really feasible.'

'Well why not?' she asked me.

'A lot of reasons, but primarily because it would require a lot of breast milk. Cows are much easier to access.'

She looks around at her mom buddies and their squirrelly crotchfruit and said, 'Do you think we could donate our milk?'

I don't even know how to respond to that."


"Pens" Doesn't Always Mean Pens

"A woman came into my liquor store and asked if we sold pens.

I told her that no, we did not sell pens. We sold all kinds of random crap, though, so I wasn't all that surprised.

She expressed great shock and dismay that we didn't carry pens. I became somewhat confused.

Then, she espied a bucket of cheap lighters on the counter. 'Why,' she exclaimed, 'You do sell pens! Here's a bunch of pens right here!'

I told her they were lighters, not pens.

'I call them pens,' she said, and paid for a couple."



This "Fancy Lady" Doesn't Play Around When It Comes To Her Mangoes

"There was this fancy lady that once a week came to the store. She didn't really talk to us peasants, so I don't know how she was usually. It was the only store in the neighborhood, so we had the same customers and knew basically everyone. One day, she came in, visibly upset. Lucky me, I was the only one in the store. She started complaining about some mango she bought the previous week, that it was rotten inside and how could we sell her a rotten fruit. The mango was perfectly fine on the outside, and I said to her that unfortunately, we couldn't predict that it was rotten. We couldn't cut fruit in half (except watermelon).

Nope, she wouldn't have it. She believed that we intentionally sold her the rotten mango. After her five minute rant was over, she asked for the manager. Don't know what happened after that, because I frankly didn't care about her and the mango."

Well, That's One Way To Make Some Easy Money


Well, That's One Way To Make Some Easy Money

"I worked at McDonald's when I was 16-17. My first day, in the grill area training during lunch rush, this guy comes in through drive-thru and ordered 100 burgers, 50 plain, 50 with cheese. I was like, 'What the heck, man?' I was told it was a lunch truck guy who would order them (at the time, we had a 49 cent burger and 59 cent cheeseburger day), then dress them out and sell them for like 2 to 3 bucks a piece to his customers."


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