"We don't clean the silverware. We just spray it with water until food comes off."
"When a guest is rude to me I just eat some of their food before I take them their meal."
"When customers send back food I wait five minutes, then give them back their same meal, untouched."
"Chances are people have put their fingers in your food to see if it was cold."
"I work at a restaurant where a lot of servers don't wash their hands after handling dirty dishes."
"When people ask me for low-fat ranch, I always give them regular ranch. If you were really trying to diet, you wouldn't eat ranch at all."
"I've dropped something on the floor and served it because it would have taken too long to remake it."
"We pulled a cockroach out of the water pitcher and then refilled someone's water with the same pitcher."
"Today I had a customer who treated me like their servant, so I licked his chocolate cake before giving it to him."
"We smoke cigarettes in the kitchen while the cook makes food."
"If the drunk ones are rude, I charge them extra on their ticket because...well, they won't notice until it's too late anyway."
"Whenever people leave me a tip in change I seriously debate on following them to their cars to throw it at them."
"I'm a server and yes, we talk shit about you when we go back to the kitchen. If you think we hate you, we do."
"I'm a hostess and if you are rude to me when I greet you I will put you in a shitty seat with a shitty waiter."
"When my ex comes in with his girl, I sneak into the computer and charge him more for his food."
"I never wash my hands after I pee."
"I totally knock some of your fries off your plate before I bring the to your table so that I can eat them."
"When people ask me for something that's a pain to get while I'm busy, I lie and say we ran out."
"If you're rude to me I make sure your food takes much longer."
"I touch customer's food all the time with dirty hands from the kitchen - nasty dishes, the floor, door handles, who cares."