People have some pretty intimate conversations in restaurants. They break up, they declare love, they talk about all manner of life. People feel comfortable that they are having private conversations, even though they are in very public areas. There is one group that is privy to all these quiet conversations - the servers and bartenders that are serving them.
In these amazing stories, servers and bartenders dish out the craziest things they've overheard while working. Everything from cheating husbands to mean old women getting nasty about their love life. It's all here in these incredible stories that people thought were private!
Getting The Bad Guys
“Bartending, but here ya go.
I had my back to two guys who’d just arrived and were about 3 drinks in. They start talking about a girl and what they’d do to her, nothing I haven’t heard a thousand times until this.
‘Bet if we roofied her, she’d do all of it!’ Followed by laughter.
I just chalk it up to bad humor, until one suggests just dropping it in her next drink.
I stepped out of the bar, had my manager call the cops, and kicked them out when the cops got there. The cops searched and sure as heck they had oxy and roofies on them.”
The Graveyard At Denny’s Is Always Fun
“Here’s a few things that stand out in memory from when I worked at Denny’s when I was 17.
On the weekends, I worked the graveyard shift. There was a club around the corner in a strip mall, so craziness was common after 2 am.
On one occasion, a group of about 4 or 5 people came in and sat in my section. There was a pretty hot chick at the table, and apparently it was her 21st birthday. When I approached the table, she and her boyfriend were kinda of arguing, I think just because she was getting annoyingly wasted. As I walked up to the table she looked at me with a huge smile, yelled, ‘It’s my 21st birthday!’ and yanked her shirt up showing me her bare chest. Her boyfriend yanked the shirt back down, and they went back to arguing. I told them I’d come back in a few minutes for their order.
On another occasion, a guy came in with gold rope chain necklaces, a button up shirt with the top few buttons undone letting his massive bush of chest hair pop out, and a cell phone, back when cell phones required a battery the size of a briefcase. He came in with two hot chicks and was clearly doing everything he could to impress them. I took their drink order, brought them their coffee, and came back to take their food order. When I went back to the kitchen to make their salads, the hostess answered the phone, and told me I had a phone call. When I picked up the phone, it was that guy calling me to ask me to bring him more creamer.
Another time I was working as the host up front. On the weekends we always had an off duty police officer working as security, and he hung out behind the counter with the host/hostess. One night we had a group of people standing near the counter waiting to be seated. As they walked off he said, ‘I think that old guy just stole the toothpick dispenser.’ I looked over and sure enough there was a trail of toothpicks going all the way from the register counter over to the table they sat down at. So the cop went over to the table and asked the guy if he happened to have the toothpick dispenser. The guy got very defensive and very angry that someone would accuse him of something like that. After he finished his tirade, the cop said, ‘Look, I know you have it,’ and pointed out the trail of toothpicks leading to the table and said, ‘If you want, I can wait until you walk out the door and arrest you for petty theft, or you can give it to me now.’ The guy angrily slammed the dispenser on the table, and his party wound up leaving.”
That’s Almost A Buck Tip!
“I served at Olive Garden for a few months during college. One table stands out.
A Nascar redneck wearing a shirt that wouldn’t quite cover his belly, covered in sweat stains, and all amounts of neckbeard, kept calling me sugar bits, sweet lips, candy butt and more during the meal. I am a man.
He then tipped .86 cents.”
Unimpressed Parents
“My Mom and I went to a restaurant in a town we were visiting, and we were seated close by a family just sitting down to dinner.
As soon as they sat down, the waitress asked if they wanted a drink. Dad and mom ordered drinks and the son looks at waitress and then blurts out to his parents: ‘I’m gay!’ The waitress leaves.
The parents look at their son and then look at each other. Mom then asks dad what he is thinking of having to eat. Son again exclaims, ‘I’m gay!’ The parents look at him deadpan and say in unison, ‘We know.’
Then waitress came and took our orders and I didn’t hear what happened next. But they stayed and enjoyed their meal and seemed to be fine with each other.”
You’ll Hear People’s Secrets
“I have two.
The first was a couple that sat down directly in front of where I was washing glasses. This was during the NBA finals so I thought it was a bit odd they seemed so sad while everyone else was enjoying the game. They spent at least 4 hours there and from what I was able to hear they were discussing having another kid to fix their relationship. I guess she had cheated on him because she felt ’empty’ but didn’t want to end their relationship as they already had kids together. The guy was clearly very upset but said he’d support her if this is what she wanted.
The other was last week during a huge fundraiser we hosted. A group of 3 or 4 ladies were noticeably uncomfortable and when I asked if they were okay, they told me that one of them had a stalker who constantly shows up at her house, work, etc.. and calls her repeatedly. He just showed up to the bar. She had threatened to call the police if he didn’t leave her alone, so what did he do? Naturally he bought her a drink as an apology.”
This Is Just Awkward For Everybody
“Party of 5 or 6, a group of friends having dinner.
In walks a clown. The clown starts randomly walking around the restaurant doing balloon animals for kids and stuff like that. I have no idea what is going on, we didn’t hire this guy. He walks over to the table of 5 or 6 and selects a man from the table to perform a magic trick for. He did the trick, a small flash of smoke and fire happens and then magically, there is an engagement ring on a rope. The man takes the ring and a woman gets on her knees and asks the man to marry her.
The man says no, tells her to get up and they continue dinner. This table now has the attention of the entire restaurant (like 300-400 people on our busiest night). Everybody just turned away and started awkwardly eating like nothing happened.”
Classic Harvey
“I had a summer job at Gilligan’s, which is a crappy seafood place around the Charleston area. I seat this obese couple, who were actually pretty funny. They reminded me a lot of Chef’s parents from South Park.
I bring them their drinks and ask if they’re ready to order. I can’t remember what the husband ordered, but the wife didn’t like it. So he looks at her and says, ‘Woman, I’ll still eat that booty of yours when you eat chili, so don’t give me no sass for ordering what I want.’
She immediately replied, ‘Harvey, imma just need you to shut up!’
Then they both started laughing. Best table ever. And they tipped me like $20.”
He Wasn’t Letting Her Down Easy
“Shucker at an oyster bar here.
I can say with out a doubt the most messed up thing I’ve ever heard was a man sitting with a woman who was getting more and more distraught and the man looks at her and says, ‘Look, I told you when this whole thing started if I had to choose between you or my wife, I’m picking my wife.'”
Teaching The Wrong Lessons
“I saw a mother take her knife and with the flat part of it, whack the hand of her two-year old child because she was drawing something with her left hand.
The mother yelled at her, ‘No, use your right hand! Good girls don’t write with their left hand.!’
This was as I was standing there taking their order and writing with my left hand.”
Not A Typical Breakfast Conversation
“This was over 10 years ago and I had no idea what swinging and wife-swapping was.
I working breakfast fairly early at a downtown hotel in a big city.
A husband is clearly upset and wife is acting half-sheepish/half-annoyed and they’d instantly get very quiet whenever anyone approached. Their conversation was clearly heated and the restaurant was pretty empty with high ceilings and marble walls, so even slightly raised voices carried.
I’m walking towards the table and they didn’t see me coming and I hear the husband say, ‘How could I not be upset?! You let him do you in the butt! Why did we even talk about rules if they don’t matter?'”
Some Pent Up Anger Comes Out
“I waited tables at the Olive Garden 10 years ago.
A guy and his wife sat down at a table and immediately started arguing. Something about his affair and how a baby from it was costing them money.
Finally it culminated as I was bringing out their salad. As I walked away I heard the wife say, ‘Well maybe if you hadn’t boned our son’s girlfriend and gotten her pregnant, we could afford to eat somewhere nicer than the freaking Olive Garden. Oh look, the highlight of my meals, unlimited freaking bagged salad. Maybe you could save up and we could go to Joe’s Crab Shack for our anniversary. Jerk.'”
The Waiter Really Messes This Guy’s Day Up
“We had a couple who would come in regularly and always asked to be seated in my coworker’s section. They were probably in their 60s and were always really affectionate and cute with each other. My coworker would joke around with them all the time.
One day the man came in with a different woman than usual, and my coworker jokingly told him, ‘Ooooh, you’re in trouble. I’m going to tell your wife you were here with another woman.’
The woman said, ‘Excuse me? I am his wife. Who has he been coming here with?’
Dead awkward silence while she death-glares at her extremely uncomfortable-looking husband.
My coworker just turned around and walked away.”
Fat-Shaming A Ten-Year-Old
“A little girl’s dad’s wasted girlfriend calling her fat piece of crap and saying she was not pretty enough. When they ordered, the little girl asked for a baked potato and the girlfriend said, ‘Really? Do you really need that potato, Hailey?’ The poor girl could not have been more than 10-years-old. The girl was holding back tears all night.
I messed up her order and brought her the potato. Then I brought her a free dessert to make up for the mistake. Just to tick off the wasted girlfriend.”
Cheating Jerk
“This one Sunday night, a guy and his wife come in. He is here a lot with her, too. They always had Red Label and sodas and try different things on the menu. The hotel bar is right next to the dining room, but I’m the only person that works in the bar, so I have to serve food, too. About halfway through their meal, I check on them and tell them I like it when they come in because it helps me learn the menu, since they try many different things. She looks at him and says, ‘You’ve been here before?’
He says, ‘No!! Never!’
A little while later he catches me in the hallway and yells at me for mentioning he’s been here before. I say, ‘You two always come here.’
He says, ‘You idiot, that’s my wife! The other girl I bring is my girlfriend!’
He dates a girl that look like his wife and drinks the same Red Label and sodas as his wife, AND brings his wife to the same hotel bar as he brings his girlfriend and I’m the idiot. Ok.”
Mean Old Girls
“I was waiting a table a couple days ago for a group of older ladies. While I was walking back to the kitchen, I overheard one of them say, ‘You don’t know what it’s like to be married to such a freaking ugly man,’ and then said something about waiting for him to die so she’ll gain his money.
It shook me up inside.”