Pregnancy loss affects so many women and families, but it's not an easy subject to talk about. It's common for a woman to blame herself or feel shame after suffering a miscarriage, even though it's something she can't control.
However, in the past few years more and more women have come forward to talk about their losses and started a conversation about how common pregnancy loss is. This has helped the stigma attached to miscarriage fade away.
When a woman loses a pregnancy, she experiences both physical and emotional pain. During the weeks that follow, it can be difficult to know what to do or how to help. Oftentimes, a woman can be in such shock that they don't even know what they need.
Whatever your loved one is feeling, they deserve to have those feelings supported by the people close to them. According to Miscarriage Support, the objective should be to encourage the venting of their grief and re-establish self-esteem, while recognizing their sorrow.
According to experts—as well as those who have experienced pregnancy loss—there are things you can do to provide your loved one with some much-needed support after a miscarriage.
The first thing you can do is simply be there. Contact is important, but it should be the right kind. If you can't visit in person, make a phone call and send a card. Avoid texts, email, and social media because it can feel less personal.
When it comes to actual things you can do for your loved one, a good idea is to bring food. As Moms.com notes, a miscarriage can be devastating for the entire family. This means that regular routines are often abandoned during the grieving process. A woman who has suffered a miscarriage might not feel like cooking, grocery shopping, or eating anything at all.
Bringing over a home-cooked meal or dropping off some takeout from a local restaurant will ensure that your loved one has something ready to eat when making dinner is the last thing on her mind. Another great idea is to buy a gift or make a care package.
To help your loved one feel better, there are miscarriage gift boxes available on Etsy, many of which are spa-inspired. The lavender gift box from Eryns Home and Gifts has four options that can each be personalized. One of the options is "Deluxe Lavender," which features a lavender eye pillow, essential oils, a bath bomb, a soy candle, floral bath soak, and lip balm.
Personalized jewelry is a thoughtful gift after a pregnancy loss, and there are options for mom, dad, and siblings.
MEMGIFT on Amazon offers memorial bracelets with an engraved secret message. Their bracelets read, "Your wings were ready but my heart was not." These sympathy bracelets are made with hypoallergenic materials. They are also nickel-free and lead-free. There are also options for mom, dad, brother, sister, and grandparents.
Amazon seller Aizza Beata offers remembrance keychains that feature hearts and angel wings. The keychain reads, "I carried you for every second of your life and I will love you for every second of mine."
Memorialize a lost pregnancy with this mother and baby portrait. This hand-drawn custom digital portrait can be a perfect gift to help give your loved one some peace.
Candles are also a great addition to a care package, like this special Trost LICHT baby loss candle.
Another great addition would be this candle holder from The Cherished Company that can also be a decorative jar. It features a quote from Gandhi that reads, "There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart."
A thoughtful care package will let your friend know you are thinking of her. And it might just help lift her spirits a little.
Gifts are great for mom because a miscarriage can be the hardest on her. But a pregnancy loss also affects other members of the family. Don't forget to check in with the father and siblings, when necessary. Simply make sure they are doing okay. And offer your services if they need some help while they recover.
You can offer to do the laundry, go grocery shopping, run errands, and take the other kids to school. Helping with some of the daily responsibilities for a few days can be a huge help while mom and dad are processing their grief.
As the weeks and months go by, don't forget to check in with your loved one to see how they are doing. This is especially important around the time the baby would have been due. Consider taking your friend out to lunch or sending a card to acknowledge the loss and let your friend know that she's in your thoughts.