If you've not yet heard, The Sun published a problematic study by medical tourism facilitator Longevita which crowned Prince William the world's sexiest bald man. First of all, the actual study is nowhere to be found, which is hint #1 this is a bald-faced lie. Hint #2: We have eyeballs. Hint #3 that this bald study is BS: Prince William is balding. The "study" reported that he's been described as "sexy" "17.6 million times online in blogs, reports, and pages found in Google searches." No timeline is listed, and as we all fondly remember, Prince William was super sexy when he had a full head of luscious hair.

Clearly, many hair-free men are sexier than the 38-year-old Duke, so in the spirit of our Seltzer Madness bracket, we decided to create a bald bracket of our own. Here's a list of men who are as bald as a baby's backside and sexier than Kate Middleton's husband.

1. Jason Statham

LOS ANGELES - JUL 13: Jason Statham arrives for the 'Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw' World Premiere on July 13, 2019 in Hollywood, CA

Prince William's fellow bald-headed Englishman is serving us sexy. The former fashion model and world-champion diver has starred in such films as Snatch, The Italian Job, and the Fast & Furious franchise.

2. Vin Diesel

LOS ANGELES - JUN 23: Vin Diesel at the "Fast & Furious - Supercharged" Ride Press Event at the Universal Studios on June 23, 2015 in Universal City, CA

Speaking of Fast & Furious folks, we could present a PowerPoint presentation on the ways that Vin Diesel outpaces Prince William in the sexy department: Muscles, smile, chill demeanor. Born Mark Sinclair, Vin Diesel has a brother just like Prince William. Unfortunately, Vin Diesel's twin is fraternal, so we were not blessed with double the dashing.

3. Stanley Tucci

Actor Stanley Tucci at the photocall for Sportlight at the 2015 Venice Film Festival. September 3, 2015 Venice, Italy

We wouldn't have even categorized actor Stanley Tucci as hot, but he's definitely sexier than Prince William.

4. Bruce Willis

CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 21: Bruce Willis attends a photocall promoting the film 'Over The Hedge' at the Palais during the 59th International Cannes Film Festival on May 21, 2006 in Cannes, France

Okay so Bruce Willis may be giving grandpa vibes these days, but back in the Die Hard days, he was as sexy as they come.

5. Pitbull

LOS ANGELES, CA. July 15, 2016: Singer Pitbull (Armando Christian Perez) on Hollywood Blvd where he was honored with the 2,584th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

At five foot seven, Mr. Worldwide wouldn't make it on our list of sexiest bald men, but he's definitely sexier than Mr. British royal family.

6. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

LOS ANGELES, USA. December 10, 2019: Dwayne Johnson at the handprint & footprint ceremony for Kevin Hart at the TCL Chinese Theatre. Picture: Paul Smith/Featureflash

When Dwayne Johnson found out that Prince William beat him out for the world's sexiest bald man, he took to Twitter to reply, "How in the cinnamon toast f*ck does this happen - when Larry David clearly has a pulse?!?! #demandingrecount". No offense to the hiLarryus Seinfeld creator, but we do not share The Rock's sentiments.

7. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

vLOS ANGELES - JUN 28: Floyd Mayweather Jr at the 2015 BET Awards - Arrivals at the Microsoft Theater on June 28, 2015 in Los Angeles, CA

Normally we don't go for the short, violent type, but if we're talking sexy bald men, this pro boxer knocks Prince William out of the competition.

8. Boris Kodjoe

Boris Kodjoe at MADEA'S FAMILY REUNION Premiere, The Arclight Hollywood Cinema, Los Angeles, CA, February 21, 2006

Boris Frederic Cecil Tay-Natey Ofuatey-Kodjoe is German for "coochie twinge." J/k, but the Austrian-born actor and former model is the definition of Brown Sugar.

9. Morris Chestnut

LOS ANGELES - MAR 05: Morris Chestnut arrives to the "The Call" Los Angeles Premiere on March 05, 2013 in Hollywood, CA.

We've been crushing on Morris Chestnut since back in 1991 when he played Ricky (RIP) in Boyz n the Hood. The decades have treated this beautiful black man well. How could Prince William hold a candle to Morris Chestnut, who is basically the poster child for pulling off the bald look?

10. Common

Common is pushing 50 and it shows, but the rapper is still sexier than Prince William.

11. LL Cool J

LOS ANGELES - SEP 11: LL Cool J, aka James Todd Smith at the PaleyFest 2015 Fall TV Preview - NCIS: Los Angeles at the Paley Center For Media on September 11, 2015 in Beverly Hills, CA

Two-time Grammy Award-winner and NAACP Image Award winner LL Cool J mostly keeps his bald head under wraps (Kangol Bucket hat, anyone?) unless he's busting perps on NCIS: Los Angeles.

Related Reading

  1. You Won't Believe Who's Grown up to Be a Hottie
  2. Orgasms Are the New Apple a Day
  3. How Ashwagandha Can Benefit Your Sex Life
Easy, Expert Upgrades For The Things That Bother You The Most About Your Home Easy, Expert Upgrades For The Things That Bother You The Most About Your Home
We Tried Goli's New Ashwagandha Gummies We Tried Goli's New Ashwagandha Gummies
Is Capital One Shopping Too Good to Be True? Is Capital One Shopping Too Good to Be True?