Imagine you were invited to your best friend’s wedding. You bought your bridesmaid’s dress or groomsman tuxedo, purchased the happy couple a gift, and figured out travel accommodations. Everything is seemingly going to plan when suddenly, you receive a text saying you are uninvited. Irritating, right? Well, that’s exactly what these folks went through. These former wedding guests disclose the insane reasons why they were dropped from the guest list. Content has been edited for clarity.
Wedding Clique Conundrum
“Years ago, I worked for a company with a very cliquey dynamic. Each department had its social hierarchy. It was like high school all over again.
I became friends with a girl who was part of the ‘in’ crowd for our department. I was not in any clique, as I did not seem to fit anywhere. The leader of this particular clique, of course, was the department supervisor. It was clear her friends got special treatment from extra time off to promotions.
The rest of us were treated fairly, but not special. In any case, this girl, let’s call her ‘Brittany,’ and I started out as work friends. Eventually, Brittany and I became friends outside of work, too. Brittany had a serious boyfriend when I met her, and at some point, they broke up. She was devastated, as she wholeheartedly believed he was the ‘one.’ I helped her through her hard time, and we became a lot closer.
Eventually, Brittany got back together with her ex-boyfriend. They got engaged, and Brittany asked me to be a bridesmaid. I accepted her offer with excitement. Her fiance was a great guy, so I was very happy for her. The queen of the work clique was also a good friend of Brittany’s, and Brittany asked her to be the maid of honor.
Up until this point, our supervisor had been noticeably absent during Brittany’s hard times. Now suddenly, Brittany was having lunch with our supervisor almost every day. At this point, why Brittany asked our supervisor to be the maid of honor was beyond me.
As time went on, I noticed Brittany wasn’t talking to me at all anymore, and she was always busy after work. At first, I chalked it up to wedding planning and life in general. However, I would overhear conversations with Brittany, our supervisor, and another co-worker. They were obviously all hanging out together quite a bit, and most of it had nothing to do with wedding planning.
One day, I heard our supervisor mention something about her dress fitting. I wanted to talk to Brittany about it, so I asked her to lunch. When I asked her, she promptly declined.
I wanted to understand what was going on, so I asked Brittany, ‘Do you even want me as a bridesmaid anymore? It’s fine if you don’t, but I still at least would like to be invited.’
Brittany sighed and said, ‘Of course, you’ll still be invited.’
She seemed relieved.
The wedding invites went out a couple of months later, and guess who didn’t get one?
I was hurt, but I moved on with my life. I didn’t work there much longer afterward, and I put the entire situation out of my head.
A few years later, a mutual friend of Brittany and I were getting married. I was asked to be a bridesmaid, and Brittany was the maid of honor. I was polite and helpful during wedding planning, and everyone got along fine.
One night, Brittany and I were at the bride’s house planning the wedding shower, and she apologized for everything she did to me.
Brittany explained, ‘Our supervisor didn’t like you. She said some things about you, and it made me want to distance myself from you.’
None of the rumors our supervisor said about me were true. However, the supervisor was only concerned about her image. Apparently, I wasn’t the image our supervisor believed Brittany should have at her wedding. Basically, I wasn’t a cool kid.
As time went on, Brittany realized our supervisor didn’t actually care about her wedding. She just wanted the attention, but Brittany couldn’t stop the wedding train she was riding since it was too late. After the wedding, our supervisor disappeared from Brittany’s life. They were still friends, but it wasn’t the same.
Brittany saw she had real friends, but she let our supervisor drive them away. Brittany didn’t know how to get back to where she was before in our friendship. I had forgiven her years ago for how she hurt me, but it was still nice to get an apology.
We still chat occasionally, but we live far apart now and both have families. She’s an awesome person, but unfortunately, we grew apart.”
Guest List Greif
“My closest friend, ‘Amy’ and I used to get together weekly when she began dating her fiance, ‘Jake.’
Every week, all she would talk about was Jake. As time went on, things with Jake became even more serious. He proposed, and Amy said yes. When Amy talked about the wedding, she would always mention me being there.
She would say, ‘I can’t wait until you see the venue. You won’t believe how good the cake we selected will taste,’ among other things.
Months later, I was speaking to a mutual friend and realized Amy’s wedding invitations had already been sent out. I never received one.
My friend asked, ‘Are you going to be bringing your boyfriend to the wedding?’
Confused, I replied, ‘No. Actually, I wasn’t even invited.’
My friend assuringly said, ‘I bet you just haven’t received your invitation in the mail yet. There’s no way she didn’t invite you.’
As months passed by and the wedding date got closer, I had to endure awkward conversations with people who assumed I had been invited.
Eventually, Amy called me to apologize.
She explained, ‘We had to limit the guest list to a couple of hundred people, and you didn’t make the cut.’
Amy tried to say it nicely, but there wasn’t a nice way to say something like that.
I was hurt to discover we weren’t as close friends as I believed. We were merely warm acquaintances. If it had been me planning my wedding before hers, I would have asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. Not inviting her to my wedding would have been unthinkable.
A couple of days before the wedding, she called to let me know some guests had canceled at the last minute and asked if we’d like to attend.
Friends For Never
“In college, someone I considered to be a really good friend called me and explained, ‘I’m so excited! My boyfriend and I are going to be getting married!’
The wedding was planned to take place in early July. She had four sisters, and my friend didn’t want to argue with them about who would be the maid of honor. Instead, she asked me to be the maid of honor. Her four sisters would be her bridesmaids.
I spent months planning to attend all of the events and saved up a good amount of money to fly home. At the time, I lived over one thousand miles away from my friend.
June rolled around, and I was speaking to my mom about the wedding.
My mother explained, ‘Your sister is going to be officiating your friend’s wedding. They became really good friends when they met a few months ago in school. Only family members are invited now.’
This was news to me. I tried calling my friend, but she wouldn’t answer.
I called my sister and asked, ‘Okay, what’s the deal?’
My sister told me, ‘Our friend decided she just wanted to have a backyard wedding instead, it isn’t a big deal.’
I angrily shouted, ‘She asked me to be her maid of honor!’
My sister paused for a moment, then replied, ‘Well, it’s her wedding, not yours. She can do whatever she would like to.’
This was true, but my friend should have at least had the decency to let me know she changed her mind.
Not only was I uninvited from the wedding and stripped of my maid of honor duties, but I had to find out from my mother! My sister was now going to officiate the wedding, and neither the bride nor groom would answer my calls.
I ended up visiting home later in the summer to visit, and the friend called me to see if I wanted to come over.
I told her, ‘After the way you treated me, we aren’t friends anymore. Please don’t call me ever again.’
This happened almost twenty years ago. We are friends on social media now, but I haven’t said a word to her since this happened.”
“She Jumped Into A Relationship With A Man She Barely Knew”
“I had a good friend once. We’ll call her, ‘Sherry.’ We initially met because she was a student in one of my adult education classes, and we soon became fast friends. At the time, Sherry’s fiance had a serious illness. I got to know him very well, too. I went to their wedding, and it was one of the last times he walked.
Sherry and I stayed friends throughout his illness, and although I couldn’t always be there, I did try to visit and help. When her husband passed away, his family was nasty to her. I tried to stick around and help out as much as I could with the funeral. It was a terrible situation, and Sherry had to leave her home with only four weeks’ notice. She moved in with her parents to a different part of the country, so we saw a lot less of each other.
Within six months of Sherry’s husband’s passing, she was dating again. I didn’t see an issue with it, and I thought it was good her grief didn’t stop her from having a life and some fun. However, only a year after her husband passed, she announced she was getting married again. This time, it was to a man she had met online. Sherry invited me to come to the wedding.
I didn’t have a very good reaction. Frankly, I thought Sherry was crazy. She had loved her late husband dearly, but the four years they were married weren’t easy due to his illness and his family’s attitude. I couldn’t understand how she could go from grief to jumping into another relationship with a man she barely knew. I wondered if they wanted children, in which case I could have understood the urgency. I also questioned how Sherry could have married a man she met online so soon. She had only known him for a few months!
Instead of being diplomatic, I pretty much told Sherry what I thought. Naturally, she told me if I was going to be negative I could exit her life. So, I did. Afterward, I was no longer welcome at her wedding.
A few months later, Sherry called me and explained she was visiting the town I lived in. We met up, had a heart-to-heart, and we were friends again. She seemed very happy, and I was glad for her after everything she had been through.
I was also happy our friendship survived. Regardless, I needed to be warier and more diplomatic in what I said around her. I hope I can be a good friend to her once more.”
“This Was The Last Straw”
“I was supposed to be a bridesmaid for a friend a couple of years ago. I had my first baby a year prior, and I suffered from severe postnatal depression. I didn’t want to go out, nor did I want anyone coming to my house. I was paranoid and really quite ill.
Subsequently, I missed the bride-to-be’s bachelorette weekend. It was a busy weekend, and it took place only about eight or nine weeks after I had given birth. I was not ready or able to leave my precious baby girl.
I decided to back out of the weekend. The ‘chief’ bridesmaid made it clear that the bride-to-be was upset, but nothing else was said. I assumed everyone forgot about the situation.
Fast forward a couple of months later. My family had a get-together for my daughter, and I only invited some family members and close friends. I shared a few pictures of the celebration on social media, as it was a proud and happy moment for my husband and me.
The next morning, I received an email from the bride-to-be.
The email read, ‘I am not allowing you to be a bridesmaid anymore. Also, you’re uninvited from my wedding. I can’t believe you would have a celebration for your daughter, but not even come to my bachelorette weekend. And you didn’t even invite me!’
The bride lived hundreds of miles away, so I didn’t think not inviting her was a big deal.
She also told me, ‘You have upset me several times since the birth of your child, and this was the last straw.’
She, her family, and her partner all deleted me from their social media accounts. The bride completely cut all ties with me.
I was devastated by her cruel behavior. She knew all about my postnatal depression, which I was undergoing treatment for at this point.
Now, with eight years of hindsight, I realized she wasn’t a good friend/ She was toxic, and I didn’t deserve her unfair treatment. Life was better without a ‘friend’ like her.”
“We Stopped Speaking To Each Other For A Decade”
“I was once supposed to be a bridesmaid for my good friend. She was deeply unhappy with my lack of interest, in her view, in her wedding planning.
I lived five hundred miles away. I was working temporary gigs and living with my cousin who routinely made me feel like a freeloader.
He would constantly ask me, ‘When are you going to pay me back for bills?’ when I was waiting for my temporary agencies to pay me.
I had a lot going on, and my friend never thought to ask me how I was doing. I didn’t know I was supposed to be interested in every detail of her dress and wedding decorations. I was too busy scraping money together to pay for food and bills! Plus, her family told me I was required to attend five wedding showers, a bachelorette party, and attend her college graduation. All happening two weeks before her wedding. Additionally, I had to pay for my hair, makeup, dress, shoes, hotel, and rental car for the wedding.
A month before the wedding, my friend sent me an email.
The email read, ‘You are a horrible friend! I can’t believe how disinterested you are in my wedding!’
I replied, ‘Replace me as a bridesmaid, then. I’m sure you won’t have trouble finding someone else to fit the dress.’
We didn’t speak to each other for over a decade. Eventually, the bride and I started speaking again, and we realized how ridiculous we were both being.
We’re friends again, and we can look back at the situation and laugh.”
“I Didn’t Know If He Was Being Serious Or Not”
“I wasn’t the person uninvited, but I did the uninviting.
I had a very close friend, and at this time, we had been friends for over fifteen years. My now wife and I had been engaged for almost two years, and he knew about the date of my wedding. This friend was also supposed to be one of my groomsmen.
About a month before the wedding, I was speaking with my friend about ordering his shirt and tie.
He then proceeded to ask, ‘Can you push back your wedding a week? I want to go camping and see a fireworks show, but it’s the same day as your wedding.’
I didn’t know if he was being serious or not.
I replied, ‘Pushing the wedding back would be nearly impossible. The wedding is only a month away!’
My friend then questioned, ‘Well, can I come for the ceremony and leave afterward? I really just want to make it to the fireworks show.’
I angrily yelled, ‘If a fireworks show is more important than the wedding you knew about for the past two years, then go! It wouldn’t be nice of you to just show up and leave at your convenience.’
The friend looked down and quietly replied, ‘I already bought my tickets and paid for the campsite.’
At this point, I was quite annoyed with him. I simply told him not to bother coming and enjoy his weekend.
We have since remained friends, but it was never the same friendship as it was. My wife and I have now been married for eight years, and together for fifteen.”
“My Daughter Had To Learn A Hard Lesson”
“This situation didn’t happen to me, but it may as well have. It happened to my daughter, and I felt so bad for her. My daughter is a pretty quiet and reserved person, and she hardly ever found herself in the middle of a confrontation.
When she was sixteen, she began dating a very outgoing boy who attended a different school than she did. It took very little time before all of her friends were people she met through him. Looking back, I should have advised her to have friends separate from her boyfriend.
Fast forward six years later, and she became really good friends with the girlfriends of her boyfriend’s buddies. They were a tight-knit group of friends, and she was a part of the group for several years.
One of the couples she was friends with got engaged, and the bride-to-be asked my daughter to be one of the bridesmaids. My daughter was excited, and she told the bride yes.
Suddenly, my daughter and her boyfriend broke up.
Since my daughter no longer had a connection with the group through her boyfriend, she was uninvited from the wedding. She was no longer a part of the bridal party, and she lost every single one of her friends.
My daughter had to learn a hard lesson about true friendship when this happened. The situation was pretty tough on her, but she’s made a good recovery. Since then, she had made a great group of new friends. I cannot imagine they would ever do something so diabolical as her old friend group did.”
The Greedy Gift Grabbers
“Previously, my husband and I were friends with a couple. I was close enough with the woman to where we talked regularly and hung out, but I didn’t consider her to be a part of my tight inner circle. However, we were definitely friends.
She invited my husband and me to her wedding about five months in advance. This is when they started wedding planning, so I didn’t think it was strange they invited us last minute.
Then, I had my twins. Life got busy, and the woman and I weren’t hanging out together often anymore. We did still keep in touch via phone and text, though.
A couple of weeks before the wedding, I went online, found her registry, and bought her and her future husband a nice gift. I had the gift sent straight to their home in advance to avoid the logistics of presents on their wedding day.
A few days later, I assume when she received the gift, she called me and said, ‘Hey, my husband and I actually decided you guys aren’t invited to the wedding. But since you bought us a gift, I guess you can still come.’
We were uninvited without any explanation or reasoning. It was just seemingly out of nowhere. If I hadn’t bought her a gift, we would have just shown up to a wedding we didn’t know we’d been uninvited to.
Obviously, my husband and I passed on attending the wedding. The woman and I’s friendship didn’t survive. She didn’t even offer to return the gift! Considering she uninvited us, returning the gift would have been the decent thing to do.
In retrospect, I think it was a gift grab. The couple was the type to do such a thing.”
The Belittling Best Friend
“My best friend uninvited me from her wedding. I was supposed to be her maid of honor. At the time, I had just finished treatment for an illness I went through, and I couldn’t go back to work for six months. My friend had just gone through a divorce and was granted custody of her two children.
My friend had a job, but she couldn’t afford childcare for her two kids. Disability had already stopped my payments, so my mom was supporting me. I took constantly watched my friend’s children and took them to school since I couldn’t work. She never paid me a single penny.
Months before the wedding, my daughter’s father attempted to terminate my parental rights. I knew I needed to get a job somehow, or else I would lose my child.
I asked my friend, ‘Do you think you could start paying me a little bit? After all, I have been hauling your kids around for the past six months. Not to mention, I was sick while doing so.’
My friend replied, ‘Absolutely not. In fact, I don’t even want you talking to me anymore. You have real nerve asking me for money. Don’t plan on coming to my wedding.’
I happily parted ways with someone so selfish.”
“She Thinks You Are Going To Steal Me Away”
“A while back, one of my buddies in the Navy was getting married.
I went to lunch with him and his fiancee, and he and I were joking with each other as we always did.
His fiancee turned to me and asked, ‘Are you looking forward to coming to our wedding?’
I jokingly replied, ‘No! It’s going to break my heart! I’m still hoping this guy,’ referring to my friend, ‘will run away with me.’
Everyone laughed and the rest of the lunch went seemingly well.
The next day, my friend called me and sounded concerned.
He told me, ‘My fiancee doesn’t want you coming to the wedding anymore. She thinks you are going to try to steal me away from her.’
To my friend’s credit, he was upset with her about the situation. He was sad he had to make this choice. My friend was also very much aware of how hilarious it all was.
I thought it was funny too, and I was somewhat relieved to have a good reason not to attend. I hated crowds.
They didn’t last for six months. Which I told him would happen.”