Traveling isn’t always fun! Sometimes, you may get stuck with an annoying, gross, or unruly seatmate on a flight. These passengers share the unbelievable moments they’ve had while flying that made them think, “Are you kidding me?” Content has been edited for clarity.
“She Practically Fainted In My Arms”
“This happened before I even got on the plane.
I was traveling from Chicago to Los Angeles for work. We were lined up just outside the aircraft door when I suddenly felt someone grab my jacket from behind. When I turned around, a young and attractive woman beside me practically fainted in my arms. I helped her into the aircraft and got her to her seat with the help of a flight attendant.
The flight attendant continued asking the woman, ‘Are you sure you don’t want to get off the plane?’ but the woman was determined to stay.
We got her sitting down, and she asked me to stay with her. The guy with the aisle seat beside her was okay with swapping, so I stayed.
The woman told the flight attendant, ‘I’m terrified of flying. I have never been on a plane before.’
The flight attendant nodded, disappeared for a second, and came back with a couple of tiny vodka bottles for the woman, and a tiny bottle of scotch for me at eight in the morning.
The woman held my hand while she chugged the vodka and just about screamed when the plane door closed. I had to explain every little noise as we took off. My hand looked like it had been crushed because she was squeezing it so hard!
Once we were in the air, the woman settled down and filled me in. She explained, ‘I won an award at work. I’m flying out to Los Angeles to receive it.’
The flight attendant kept us supplied with little bottles for the flight and ‘forgot’ to charge us. The pilot cooperated with a very smooth flight.
Another hand crush later, the plane was landing. The woman just about fainted again in relief as the plane hit the ramp. I was a bit relieved when we parted ways, but I enjoyed the thank-you hug the woman gave me.
On my flight back home, I was sitting writing up some reports before boarding when I was tapped on the shoulder. An airline clerk was there, and they told me I had an upgrade. I went over to the desk, and the same young lady from my flight to Los Angeles was there. Part of her award was an upgrade to first class, and she paid for my upgrade to sit beside her. She had delayed her return for three days to match mine so she had a ‘friend’ to fly back with.
The clerk smirked about this.
The return trip was similar, but a little easier than the flight out. She was almost calm by the time we landed. However, she repeated the ‘thank you’ hug just as my wife walked up to the airport.
It took a bit of explaining, and if I remembered correctly, flowers to deal with.”
The Annoying Complaining Couple
“One time while flying, an elderly couple walked up the aisle and sat behind me. I had my six-pound service dog with me, who was sitting quietly in my lap.
The first words out of the elderly woman’s mouth were, ‘Oh, they allow dogs on planes?’
I normally didn’t say anything when I heard people making comments about my service dog, just because he was so small. Then I noticed the couple complained about everything throughout the flight, from the food and snacks to their flight seats.
The old man grumbled, ‘Why are our seats back here?’
I couldn’t hold myself in any longer, so I asked him, ‘When did you both make your seat reservations?’
The woman replied, ‘Six months ago.’
‘Well, I just made my reservations last week, and I got to pick my seat,’ I retorted, ‘Why didn’t you pick your seats at the time you made reservations?’
Neither the old man nor the woman replied.
A few minutes later, a nice woman boarded the plane and sat next to me. She wanted to pet my dog, which I was fine with as long as people asked first.
The next thing I heard was the old woman snidely say, ‘I can’t believe this woman is petting her grimy dog.’
I kept my mouth closed, and the plane engines started.
The old woman hissed, ‘Why are these engines so loud?’
I whipped around and replied, ‘Well if you want to fly, you have to get used to loud engines. Perhaps once we are in the air, I can ask the captain to shut the engines off if they’re too loud for you.’
Near the middle of the flight, we hit a bit of turbulence. The old woman cried, ‘This plane needs better springs so it doesn’t bounce as much!’
The woman sitting next to me and I had a good time raising our eyebrows and wondering what was wrong with these people.
I turned around and said, ‘You two need to shut up,’ which managed to get their attention.
I continued, ‘Airplanes don’t have springs, and any idiot would know this. I paid over $5000 for my service dog to be trained, so you have no right to say he’s dirty. And the engines? I don’t know if it would be a great idea to have the pilot shut them down for your convenience. Why don’t you just sit back, enjoy the flight, and have a nice day!’
I turned back around in my seat and looked at the woman next to me. We both stifled back laughter. I didn’t hear a chirp from the couple sitting next to me for the remainder of the flight.”
“He Smelled Like He Had Not Showered For A Week”
“I loved when karma kicked in.
I loved flying, and I always tried to get a window seat to watch the views while taking off and landing. One day, I walked to my aisle to see two ladies dressed impeccably in my seat and the middle seat, leaving only the aisle seat vacant.
I politely told the ladies ‘I think you’re in the wrong seats, do you mind moving?’
One of the women replied, ‘We meant to ask for window seats, sorry!’
It was clear they had no intention of moving.
A nearby flight attendant walked over and asked, ‘Is everything okay here?’
One woman replied, ‘I want the window seat, and I refuse to move.’
To ease the situation, I told the flight attendant I would simply take the seat. She was very grateful.
I sat down, and the two women smelled fine. However, a dirty scent drifted across the aisle from a young man in his 20s. He smelled like he had not showered for a week.
I thought to myself, ‘What a trip this will be!’
Then the young man leaned out and waved to his friend about six aisles forward. I still remembered the friend’s name to this day.
‘Hey, Jacko!’ the man called out to his friend.
Then, I thought of a genius idea. I asked the flight attendant, ‘Do you mind if I swap seats with this gentleman’s friend so they can fly together?’
The attendant smelt them both and replied with a smile, ‘That won’t be a problem.’
As I swapped seats with Jacko, I noticed he was just as smelly as his friend. I lucked out.
As I left my seat, I turned to the ladies and said, ‘Enjoy your flight!’
I told the lady next to the seat where I moved about the situation, and she thought it was hilarious having experienced Jacko for just a few minutes.
It was certainly a flight experience I never forgot.”
“I Couldn’t Believe What Came On The Television”
“I was flying from Regina to Calgary, which was a short hour-and-a-half flight. I was close to the front middle seat. It was a full flight, so I couldn’t change seats.
Suddenly, I noticed a stream of massive, muscular, men boring the plane. Hey, there weren’t any complaints from me. Then, someone mentioned how it was a football team flying over to Calgary for a game. It made perfect sense.
Sure enough, two football players sat on either side of me. They were well over six feet tall and were built like they were born lifting weights. We had some small talk, and they were both nice guys. Once everyone settled into the flight, both of the guys promptly fell asleep, deep enough to snore. I set myself back into the seat. I was watching Discovery or some other information-based channel. When my program ended, I couldn’t believe what came on the television next.
The next show playing about the ‘science of plane crashes,’ or something similar. The show outlined a real-life crash and relayed the events leading up to the crash to determine the cause. The program also recreated the plane crash and played it over and over again as it showed all of the different angles of descent.
Of course, repeatedly watching plane crashes while flying wasn’t a great idea, even for a seasoned flyer. I was becoming a bit anxious about the program, so I decided to change the channel using the button on my armrest.
Oh, seriously? You had to be kidding me.
One of the football players sitting next to me was slumped over, dead asleep. He was completely blocking my armrest and I couldn’t change the channel. I was stuck watching repeated scenes of airplane carnage playing a foot in front of me. It was awful!
I chose to let him sleep and did my best not to lay eyes on my screen as we landed. I was more jumpy than usual during the landing!”
