It’s typically car salesmen who have bad reps, but what about the customers? While test driving is completely necessary when purchasing a new car, there is no way to know someone’s driving ability or history. Car salesmen share the most outrageous things customers did during a test drive. Meanwhile, they were holding on tight and hoping for the best. This content has been edited for clarity.
Senile
“The strangest was this little old lady named Virginia. She was sweet but was basically senile. She drove up in a silver 2001 Lincoln Town Car. She said demons had possessed that car and ‘the man in the radio told her to buy a new one.’ I was a little perplexed, but I agreed to show her a 2011 Lincoln Town Car in silver. She immediately fell in love with it and wanted to test drive it.
I felt a little awkward about getting the key as I couldn’t really tell if she was serious. But, nevertheless, I asked her for her driver’s license. It was current and valid, so I got the keys. She started the car, drove it across our parking lot, and then immediately stopped when she spotted her current 2001 Town Car sitting in the parking lot.
She said, ‘Hey! There’s a silver one! Can we drive that one?’
I was really confused. I reminded her that the car she was pointing at was actually her current car, and we were test-driving a new silver one.
She said, ‘Oh, okay. We’ll drive that one when we get back.’
I was uncomfortable at that point. I asked her to stay stopped there for a moment. I called my sales manager and explained what was going on. While he was just as confused as I was, he told me to proceed with the drive but not leave the general area or go on any freeways.
We left the lot and pulled up to a busy intersection. While we were waiting for a green light, she started asking me if the car had any bad demons in it.
I chuckled a little bit and said, ‘Absolutely not, it’s a brand-new car.’
The light went green and we proceeded down a busy main road at about 20 mph even though the speed limit was 45 mph. She wouldn’t go any faster. Cars were flying around us blaring their horns. I told her to ignore them and focus on driving up to a safe speed. She got to about 30 mph.
We were cruising along at 30mph while still annoying all of the traffic around us when she suddenly slammed on the brakes for no reason. Thank goodness no one was immediately behind us. That surely would’ve caused a collision.
I politely asked her to please pull over on the side of the road. She asked me why and I told her there was a feature I wanted to show her on the car. She pulled off the road, we both got out, and then I jumped in the driver’s seat. As I drove us back to the dealership, I pointed out the nice ride and stuff blah blah blah. She was being very quiet.
I pulled up at the dealership, walked her inside, and then told my sales manager what had been going on. He admitted it was all very strange and went out to talk to her. She told him she wanted to buy the car which was music to his ears. He looked at me like, ‘What’s the big deal? Sell her the car.’
At that point, I didn’t feel right about it. I asked her if she was absolutely sure she wanted to buy a brand-new car.
She said, ‘Yes I’d love to. Do you have any silver Town Cars?’
I explained that we just got back from a test drive in a silver Town Car. She didn’t believe me and wanted to see a new silver Town Car. I called the police and explained that I believed she was senile and should not be driving. They came down to the dealer to meet her and that’s when we found out she had gone missing from an institute not too far away.
They had no idea how she got the 2001 Town Car. It was registered to a family in town with no relation to her and it was reported stolen. I don’t know what ever happened to her after that, but it was all really sad.”
Crime Scene
“I worked at a dealership for 12 years. One busy Friday, some less-than-savory-looking gentlemen pulled onto the lot and wanted to drive a Town Car. It was very busy and the car they wanted to drive was older and only priced in the 10K range. The salesman was so busy he allowed them to take the car out on their own.
Apparently, the ATF had been investigating and following these less-than-upstanding citizens. They chose this time, of all times, to attempt to pull them over. As an officer approached the car, the driver allegedly attempted to run him over. The officer opened fire, shot the driver in the face, and managed to put a bullet in the leg of the passenger.
Several months later, when they had all of the evidence they needed, the car was graciously towed back to our dealership. It was missing the hood completely and had several bullet holes in it including the door, engine shroud, firewall, and A-Pillar. The seats still had large quantities of blood on them and it was covered in fingerprint dust.
Since auto sales are, indeed, a profit game, the dealership decided to recondition the vehicle, sell it, and cut their losses. I have no idea what was spent on the vehicle, but when we sold it, there was still a bullet hole in the engine shroud and the firewall. If you looked closely, you could still see a spot of blood on one of the seat belts.
This particular dealership was one of the more reputable in town and opted to disclose the entire story to whoever purchased the vehicle. Whoever went home with it now has a pretty awesome story to tell.”
Driver Assist
“I work at a Ford/Lincoln dealership. I once had an elderly couple come in and ask to test drive a new Lincoln MKZ. While making a selection to drive, they brought up the fact they are very interested in the lane-keeping system and driver-assist package. I thought it was great they were wanting to get some of the latest and greatest technology. I found one with all the features we talked about and got the keys.
Just before allowing them to drive, I asked if they had a radio station they wanted to listen to. They did and it was a spa station, so I put that on for them. About halfway in, I asked why they were so interested in the driver’s assist features. They came right out and told me he had issues passing out at the wheel and wanted to feel safer while driving. I asked how frequently it happened and they said a couple of times every time they drive!
If I would have had the power to revoke their driver’s license, I would have on the spot. I recommend not listening to the spa station at that point because anyone would pass out listening to that music. But we continued on with the spa music and all. On the way back, the man passed out while going 70 mph on the freeway. No one really noticed it at first and the car did a good job keeping it in the lane. Eventually, his wife noticed and had to scream and hit him gently to wake him back up.
I couldn’t believe they would risk themselves, let alone others’ lives by getting behind any wheel. I made him pull over and I finished the drive for them.”
DVD Player
“I had a gentleman walk up on foot and ask to test drive one of our more expensive models. The car was fully loaded with leather seats, navigation, and a DVD player in the front console– just the whole nine yards. I was hesitant but gave him the keys and hopped in the passenger seat.
We turned into a neighborhood and he said he wanted to check out the DVD player. I informed him I, unfortunately, didn’t have any DVDs on me but I knew it worked.
He said, ‘Don’t worry, I got one.’
I thought that was a little strange but whatever. He threw it on and the film was a very graphic video titled something along the lines of ‘Big Booties Vol. 3.’ At that point, I realized the speakers were turned up extremely loud and there was a family in the driveway across the street staring at us. Keep in mind, I was a skinny 21-year-old boy sitting in a parked car with no plates and an incredibly large 50-something-year-old dude blasting inappropriate content.
I told him we had to go. We went back to the dealership and he informed me the car was way out of his range, but he’d be back. He also gave me a coupon for free entry to a local adult entertainment club. I never heard from him again but I do still have the coupon just in case.”
Couldn’t Hold It
“Four years ago, I was driving a sweet old lady in a white Honda Fit.
Five minutes in she said, ‘Hmm, I don’t feel very well.’
She started speeding up really aggressively and hooked a fast left into a deli parking lot. That’s when the smell hit me! It was terrible. She jumped out of her seat, b lined it for the deli, and yelled that she’d be back. I looked over at the driver’s seat and saw a streak of light brown, wet diarrhea. I was sitting inside the hot car for a good 15 minutes watching it bake into the seat.
She came out and walked to the passenger side with a tightly wrapped bag in her hand. It was definitely her spoiled underpants. She asked if I would mind driving her back to the dealership because she wasn’t feeling well. I really didn’t want to embarrass her so without reacting, I got out, walked around to the driver’s side, and before she could see what she had done, I sat down.
I drove her straight back to her car and gave her my card. I dropped the car off at detail, warning the boys, and went straight home to change. The next morning, she showed up at 9 am and bought the car. Full price. No negotiations. If I was smart, I would have sold her the seat covers.”
International Driver’s License
“I was a car salesman in New Jersey. Being so close to Rutgers University, we got a ton of students who were studying abroad. One day, this girl who was about 20 years old came to look at a pre-owned Volks Wagon. I pulled a car up for her to drive. She only had an international driver’s license, but I went with it. We got into the car and I told her where to go.
She pulled out onto the highway and went 25 mph on a 45 mph road. I told her she needed to speed up. She said she was too scared to go fast and continued driving 25 mph. I directed her to a safer road and we started heading back to the dealership. In New Jersey, the speed limit is just a guide so 45 mph is really 55 mph or faster. Cars were passing, stomping on the brakes, and beeping horns at this girl because she was going so slow.
We needed to make a left into the dealership which crossed over the other side of the highway. I told her where to turn and she started to make the left and literally came to a complete stop on the incoming traffic side. There was a huge truck barrelling toward us and I told her she had to go. She didn’t move as the truck was getting closer. I started to raise my voice but she still wasn’t moving.
‘GO! GO! MOVE! This truck is going to kill us!’ I yelled.
I pushed her leg down in order to push on the gas. The car got into the parking lot just in time. She turned to me and said not to yell at her or touch her. Luckily, a cop saw what happened, pulled into the parking lot, and asked the girl if she had a driver’s license. I thought having an international license meant she could drive internationally.
She in fact did not know how to drive and didn’t buy the car. It was an awful experience.”
I Have Kids
“I used to sell cars at a used dealership years ago. I had this younger guy come in who was maybe 18 or 19. He was dressed like a gangster, something straight out of the movies. Where I’m from, I didn’t run into that often. He had tattoos on his neck and knuckles with a long sleeve plaid shirt buttoned all the way up in the dead heat of summer.
He walked in and went up to the only sporty car on the lot, an Audi TT. He told me he wanted to buy it even though he hadn’t even opened it or looked at it. I told him we should probably drive it just to make sure and he agreed. We got in the car and he sped out and onto the highway.
He started flying around cars using the median and opposing lanes, and just overall driving like an absolute nut. We swerved onto a connecting highway and he punched it even harder. I was actually scared and I had never been scared during a test drive before.
I told him we needed to take the next exit but he blew past it. At that point, he had maxed out the speedometer at 150 mph and I asked him to slow down. He ignored me. I told him we had to take the next exit and he blew past it again. I asked why we didn’t take it and he said I needed to give him more of a warning.
He finally took an exit while swerving around another car on a small ramp, narrowly missing him and the guard rails. We were heading into a rough part of town and he obviously knew where we were. I didn’t know what was going on but I was thinking I was going to get jumped. We drove around in this neighborhood, up and down every street. He was very obviously looking for someone.
I kept asking to get back to the dealership and he wouldn’t say anything. I figured he was looking for his friends and I was going to get jumped. He reached his hand into his pocket for what I’m assuming was a knife (even to this day). I immediately asked if we could get back to the dealership. I told him it was already 5:30 pm and it was my daughter’s first birthday today. I was supposed to be home at 5.
He looked at me for the first time, and said, ‘Oh, you got kids, man?’
‘Yes, I have two. It’s my daughter’s birthday today. I’m the only one that works and I support my wife and kids. We’re barely scraping by right now. I don’t even care about this dealership or these cars, it’s just a job that I hate,’ I replied.
He kind of just stared at me while still driving and said, ‘I didn’t know you got kids. Let’s go back.’
We started driving back and he said he had to grab his brother. We got to an apartment complex and he jumped out and ran inside. I thought to myself, ‘Get in the driver’s seat, drive away. Be safe. Do it.’ Just as I decided to do it, he and his brother came out. He got back into the driver’s seat.
I volunteered to get in the back, but he said, ‘No, my brother is sitting in the back.’
His brother sat right behind me and I was freaking out. I sat sideways in the car as far away from the seat as I could. I pretended my phone rang and I ‘talked’ to my wife, telling her I was trying to get home. Finally, we ended up at the dealership. I got a sinking feeling when I saw everyone had already gone home. It was just me.
He said he would buy the car and wanted to write a check. I told him we didn’t take checks for payment and that if he paid by check we’d have to wait until it cleared. I also said he could get a cashier’s check the next day and we’d be able to take it.
He got up in my face and asked if his money wasn’t good enough there. I told him it was just our policy– we didn’t take checks from anyone unless there was some sort of backup funding. I begged him again to let me go to my daughter’s birthday party. Finally, he said he was going to get someone and I better be there when he got back.
He stormed out and I locked the dealership and left as quickly as I could. I quit very shortly after.”
Judged Too Soon
“This was in 2007-2008 and I was 23 at the time, new to Pontiac sales. This cute girl came in alone and was around 19-20 years old. None of the other salesmen paid any attention to her so I introduced myself. She said she wanted to look at a G6 so I showed her where they were in the lot.
We were talking as we are walking out there and she said she wanted one of the G6s with the giant sunroof, but we didn’t have any. We looked at the G6s and I could tell she wasn’t impressed. I suggested we go look at the Grand Prix. They were a bit bigger cars and more expensive, but I made that well known to her. She was okay with it.
We were looking at the normal Grand Prix as well as the GT and several had sunroofs. On the end was a black Grand Prix GPX. For those that don’t know, it’s a front-wheel drive family sedan with a 303hp LS4 motor and was stickered in the 38K range. It was a huge jump from a G6 and I made her aware of the price difference. She saw the car and was immediately smitten. It was black with chrome wheels, a beautiful car.
She said she wanted to drive it. I got the keys for it and came back explaining I would drive the car first to show her things and then we could switch seats. While driving, I was showing her things and told her about how fast it was. She wanted to see how fast. I stopped at a stop sign and get on it a bit. She was impressed. At the next stop sign, I told her I was going to turn the traction control off and really get on it.
Her response gave an attitude like, ‘Meh, you already got on it once, so I know what’s going to happen next.’
She didn’t. At the stop sign, I turned the traction control off and completely gut-stopped the car. Smoke was rolling off the front tires as its torque steered, found its traction, and took off.
She was in the passenger seat saying, ‘Woah. Take me back to the dealership.’
I was thinking to myself, ‘Self, we are in trouble. She’s ticked now.’
But what she said next put me at ease.
She said, ‘I have to have this car and my bank closes in 45 minutes. I need to go get a check so I can buy this car today.’
I drove her back to the dealership and of course, my manager was trying to get her to finance. She said she couldn’t get financed because her credit wasn’t great and to let her go get a check. They insisted and ran her credit anyways.
She got mad and said, ‘I told you so,’ and stormed out telling me, ‘I’ll be right back.’
The other salesmen and my manager told me she wouldn’t be back and that she didn’t have enough money for a 38K car. I respectfully disagreed. 20-30 minutes later, she came back with a certified bank check for the full price of the car including taxes. She drove out of there with that car about an hour later.
It turned out she was the daughter of a retired GM employee who made quite a bit of money. He had actually bought about four cars from the same dealership in the previous two years.”
Scandal
“I worked at a used car dealer and had an older Corvette. It needed a paint job but I still advertised it. A guy called, put a deposit on it, and flew into town. He brought his lady friend and they came to the dealership. The car was in the paint shop across the street and they waited all day. It still wasn’t done so I told them I’d take them to their hotel and pick them up the next morning. We stopped somewhere so they could buy drinks and then I dropped them off.
The next morning, he came running to my car with some other girl. They were both looking haggard and jumped in. It turned out his lady friend from the day before was in love with him and he promised they would drive the Corvette across the country back home. He was obviously banging her but wasn’t into a relationship.
Apparently, he started hanging out with the flight attendant from his flight into town after I dropped him off the night before. She ended up going to bed with him and he also told her they were going across the country in this Corvette.
At that point, I was driving them to the dealership, pulling over so they could puke their guts out, and listening to the flight attendant call work saying something came up and she couldn’t work for a few weeks. The corvette had finished drying so he bought it and they drove off.
Shortly after, the other girl pulled up in a taxi and was losing her mind. She had woken up alone, found 300 bucks on the table, and the guy not answering his phone. She was going crazy and called her mom. She gave me the phone, her Mom scolded me, and I apologized but explained it wasn’t my problem.
She finally left but ended up calling for the next few days to see if I knew where he was.”
Generous Tipper
“This guy showed up in a flashy Maserati and wanted to test drive a new Nissan. I don’t even remember what it was, maybe an SUV or something. He drove it to an ATM and withdrew like 200 bucks. Then he just gave it to me. That was kind of weird and I wasn’t really sure what to do with it. I tried to refuse it but he was insistent. He said it was a tip and just wanted to make sure I was taken care of.
We went back and he said he would have someone be in touch to complete the purchase. My manager was trying to get him to stay and buy it right then. The guy broke down and started yelling at my manager about how his son had just died and he had a bunch of other things he needed to do.
I was in my early 20s at the time, maybe only 20 or 21, probably about the same age as any kids this guy would have had. I reported the money he gave me because I didn’t really know what else to do with it and didn’t want it to become an issue if he told other people later. I figured we’d just apply it to the purchase or something. My manager told me to keep it.
He never ended up buying the car and I never heard from him again. Kind of a weird experience all things considered. I sold cars for years and that was the only time someone ever gave me extra money, especially for NOT buying a car, and the only time I saw someone yelling at a manager in the showroom.”
