The Backstory
You need wifi for just about anything in the internet-crazy world we live in today. Work, school, communication, entertainment, you name it! As I’m sure you’ve experienced, slow wifi can be absolutely infuriating, especially when it’s affecting your ability to take care of something important. “Taylor” experienced this very thing.
Taylor had just moved to a new apartment to be closer to where her sister and boyfriend, “Sam,” lived. She was an up-and-coming 3D artist and had family in Japan whom she video-chatted with often. Therefore, a strong internet connection was important to her.
Taylor was getting settled into her new space and decided to start the process of setting up her wifi. She contacted her internet provider of choice and had a wifi router mailed to her door. Once it was set up, she called the provider to ask if her connection would be safe and secure. They said it would be perfectly safe and that she could go ahead and connect her laptop.
She needed to work on her art and be able to contact her family overseas, so that was good news. The connection seemed great for a while and she was having no problems with it. However, she noticed her internet speed started slowing down out of nowhere a couple of months later. Taylor figured it was a random bad connection so it didn’t seem like a big deal. The problem unfortunately persisted and started affecting her work, so she knew she had to do something about it.
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The Problem
Taylor knew the problem could be outside of the internet connection itself. She wanted to exhaust all of her options before contacting her internet provider’s support desk. She double-checked her laptop’s condition and examined the network cables. Next, she contacted Sam to see if he could figure it out.
Sam was a total internet geek and had worked in the ICT (information and communications technology) field for more than 30 years. He mostly worked as a systems administrator but also as an IT manager and still covered shifts for his colleagues here and there. When Taylor asked for help, he was more than happy to visit her and show off his skills.
Sam noticed something strange after digging around for a while. Something was off about the wifi network Taylor was connected to. His face fell when he realized what was happening. He noticed the internet provider’s router had a wifi password that was the same as the SSID, or network name. Therefore, it would be the easiest thing in the world for a random person to get access to it.
That was exactly what happened. Someone nearby had guessed the password correctly and was leeching off of Taylor’s wifi. Two or more people using the same network will cause much slower internet speed. Not only was the problem worse than what he was expecting, but it was also putting his girlfriend at risk for many reasons.
Sam’s experience in the field would make the issue a fairly easy fix. However, he didn’t just want to fix Taylor’s problem. He wanted to get revenge on whoever had caused it.
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The Solution
Sam explained, “I was quite angry at both this incompetence as well as the blatant disrespect for my girlfriend’s privacy, maybe a bit too much. Sure, for some people this is only about ‘getting internet’ but what many people overlook is that such leechers also gain access to your private network. So basically, they could also access any public Windows (or Mac) shares you may have active, not to mention any other connected devices.”
Taylor and Sam considered that the leeching could have been an honest mistake. However, the default wifi names were all different and there was no way any networks had the same exact password as Taylor’s. The likelihood of it being intentional was incredibly high.
The first step in fixing Taylor’s problem was to replace the outdated router with a professional one.
“We’re talking professional gear here, these things cost about as much as a high-end smartphone so obviously we were going to split the costs considering that a mid-level could also have helped her out.”
They ordered the same model Sam used at his house and awaited its arrival.
Sam set Taylor up with a hidden wifi network when he set up the new router. That way, it would be close to impossible for someone to find it. They also set up a better security scheme as the last security scheme was so awful. This technically solved the problem entirely. Taylor had wifi that had a low risk of being stolen and was back to full-speed internet, but Sam wasn’t satisfied. He knew he could use his IT knowledge to get the perfect revenge.
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The Set Up
Once Taylor’s new router and private wifi network were set up, Sam created a second wifi network on the new router. He suppressed it down a bit so it couldn’t utilize the full bandwidth. He named it the same as her previous network with the same password so the leechers would connect to it as they did before. The final step was to add specific DNS (domain name system) overrides.
DNS translates internet searches into IP addresses. For example, if you type “Target” into a search bar, your computer’s DNS system translates that word into a machine-readable IP address, which is how it then redirects you to the Target website. If someone overrides a DNS system, they can manually change the IP address associated with certain keyword searches, meaning they can pick which websites will come up.
Before setting up the overrides, Sam checked out the leecher’s internet history.
“I studied the logs, so I knew exactly which sites the low lives visited the most.”
Sam decided to override several of the leecher’s favorite web searches. When searching for their bank website using Taylor’s router, they would be sent to an incredibly vulgar and inappropriate site. When searching for their favorite web store, they would be sent to a relationship counseling website: “When you think your spouse is cheating on you, come to us!“
You might be thinking, “Wow, what a really intense prank!” but Sam didn’t stop there. It was at that point he noticed the new router had newer firmware than his. There was an extra feature.
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Sweet Revenge
The new router had firmware that provided redirection services. This feature was typically utilized by companies who didn’t want their staff to visit certain web pages. For example, a company could have its router redirect any social media searches to the company webpage explaining their “no social media” policy. That feature also included a randomizer trigger which Sam fully intended to use.
“I still remembered a website from the early days of the internet, something about a ‘goat from Sweden’ which was so horrible it became a meme on its own. Seriously, a look at that picture could never be undone- there’s a reason I still remember the horror an easy 30 years later. So I looked for, and found, a replacement and then happily added that to a randomized redirection service. So every once in a while the leechers would open their favorite website(s), and no matter whatever kind of site they asked for, they’d always end up with something completely and utterly disgusting on their screen.”
Taylor didn’t fully agree with Sam’s revenge plan but also didn’t argue with him because she understood where he was coming from: he didn’t want anyone messing with his girlfriend. How could she be mad about that? She also agreed trespassing comes with consequences, even if it happens digitally. Her leechers had to learn one way or another.
“Don’t mess with a geek!” Sam said proudly.
Taylor got home from work one day and noticed a huge moving van outside the apartment complex. She didn’t think much of it until she got closer and realized it was a neighbor two doors down. The little prank Sam pulled didn’t cross her mind but she was still curious and decided she wanted to investigate.
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The Aftermath
Taylor ran into her neighbor a couple of days later. It was the neighbor who lived in between her and the apartment with the van, so she asked what happened.
The neighbor responded quizically, “Things completely exploded over there. The shouting and accusations could even be heard through the walls! Seems the pair got into huge arguments about their rather explicit ‘choice’ of websites and once the deed was done, there was no room left for any kind of reasoning. One of the two even accused the other of ‘hacking the internet’ because it was only after the first fallout those ‘goating pictures’ started to show up. As far as we know, they broke up.”
Taylor pretended she had no clue what the neighbor was talking about as to not raise suspicion. Luckily, her neighbor bought it and was just happy to not have to listen to the couple fight anymore. When given the chance, Taylor rushed inside to call Sam.
They were both shocked. It was hard to believe the couple resorted to drama and disbelief instead of listening to the other partner’s reasoning. It would have been easy to see a pattern in the redirection of their websites. However, the fact they didn’t call their internet provider to report a shoddy service further proves the stolen wifi wasn’t by mistake.
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The Lesson
Sam and Taylor’s prank might have gone further than they intended, but Sam said he regretted nothing.
“If you’re leeching off of someone else’s internet connection, then the fallout is on you. I pranked them, hard, but I’m still convinced ‘others’ would have done a lot worse.”
He removed the second wifi network and reset the DNS overrides so nothing weird would ever pop up for Taylor. The best and most important part was Taylor continued to be super happy and impressed with her new router and internet speed. She could chat seamlessly with her family in Japan and work on 3D art projects knowing all her files would be kept safe. Not to mention being impressed with her super-smart, techy boyfriend.
The internet leechers may never know what truly happened, but one thing’s for sure: they wouldn’t be stealing anyone’s wifi again anytime soon.
It’s important to note that stealing someone’s internet connection means you’re relying solely on their goodwill. They could easily redirect you to fake login pages in order to access all of your accounts and private information, prank you, or ruin your relationship forever.
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