These folks will make you appreciate your mother-in-law a little more! From non-stop meddling to hurling insults like grenades, these family members recall the toxic things their MILs have said and done. So, buckle up and get ready to be both entertained and appalled by the astounding lengths some MILs can go to make their presence felt—often in the most unwelcome ways. All content has been edited for clarity.
Table of contents
1. The Maddening MIL
“My father-in-law, my husband, and my son all shared the same birthday. What were the chances? Therefore, every year my in-laws would make the trip from Pittsburgh to Denver to visit us for a long weekend. My mother-in-law never let me forget that she was celebrating HER husband’s birthday, HER son’s birthday, and HER grandson’s birthday, whereas I was just celebrating the birthdays of my husband and son.
My MIL expected me to organize, plan, and execute an entire weekend full of dinners at restaurants with and without the kids, excursions, and of course, celebrations that included made-from-scratch dinners, gifts, and a homemade individual cake for each person. It was also expected she would be waited on and honored equally among the ‘birthday boys’ because she was the matriarch.
One year after I had just gone back to work and was trying to manage to get three young children adjusted to childcare, I injured myself in a home accident, sustained a concussion, and broke my foot. I was off from work for days, immobile, and forbidden from putting any weight on my foot. This meant I couldn’t clean my house the way my MIL liked, couldn’t wash dishes every second of the day, couldn’t make dinners or cakes, couldn’t go many places, and couldn’t wait on her. It also meant I had to depend on my husband and older son to help with the care and maintenance of the household. I had no choice. I was in terrible pain and couldn’t even stand up to dress myself.
I called my MIL a few days after the injury and told her what happened.
I asked, ‘Can you please have a little patience and understanding during your visit? I would appreciate it if you helped a little with the kids, too. If you need anything, just ask your son or oldest grandson.’
I think she thought I was joking about the injury because she never asked me how I was feeling or how it happened. When my MIL arrived, she was not happy about her son or grandson being asked to do ANYTHING to help me or care for our home.
She told me, ‘You expect too much from these boys. You’re just being selfish.’
She also insinuated I was faking the injury by asking, ‘If you’re REALLY hurt, how do you manage to take a shower?’
My MIL didn’t wash a single dish or even bring her dishes to the sink. How lazy! She was not happy about the fact that I bought the birthday cakes instead of making them. She thought it was ridiculous my husband helped me up and down stairs and in and out of the car. She also refused to ask either my son or my husband to do anything for her and instead continued to ask me to do things for her. I knew she did it on purpose, too.
I sustained all of her criticism with grace and dignity. I did as much as I could within the bounds of my restrictions. It was torture.
Three months later, she came back to Denver for my daughter’s and other sons’ birthdays. Two days before her visit, I received a text message from my FIL about how my MIL was having terrible foot pain.
He asked, ‘Can you show her some extra love and attention while visiting?’
I was enraged. I simply deleted his message. My MIL sat on my couch for nearly three days, moaning and complaining. She threw a cup of coffee at me, yelled at me, and cursed at me.
It was funny how her pain suddenly vanished when I kicked her out and carted her off to the airport, though.”
2. “It Was Hard To Forgive Her”
“In 2015, I was heavily pregnant with my husband’s first child. I already had another child from a previous relationship.
My mom passed away on March 7. We had her memorial service on March 10. My water broke on March 11 and my precious daughter was born.
When I got pregnant with my third, it was 2017. My dad just had some stents put into his legs to help with the blood flow. While recovering at home, he had a stroke. His scans showed he had a mass in his lungs. This was in July. Shortly after, the doctors told him he had to have a triple bypass before he could have surgery to remove the cancerous mass, or he might not survive the surgery.
On my way home from the grim doctor’s visit, I stopped by my in-law’s home. One of them asked about my father, so I told them his diagnosis.
Then, my mother-in-law looked at me and said, ‘I hope you never get pregnant again. I mean, do you REALLY think being pregnant is a good idea? Every time you get pregnant, a parent dies.’
I was pregnant and my dad was sick. My MIL had the nerve to tell me my parent’s deaths and illnesses were ‘my fault,’ because I was pregnant. Unbelievable.
In August, my dad had open heart surgery. In October, they cut him open to remove the mass. Afterward, my dad stayed in the intensive care unit in a medical coma for a month. In November, he moved to a short-term room but failed to improve. Instead, he got an infection.
On November 9, my third child was born. I called his hospital and had the nurses tell him the good news, as he was on a ventilator and couldn’t speak. A few days after my third child’s birth, I took her to the hospital to meet her grandpa. He had tears in his eyes.
My father passed away in December after more than two months in the hospital. He would have lived longer had he kept the cancerous mass.
I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I blamed myself for pressing my dad into having the surgery. I selfishly wanted him around so he could spend time with my children. I felt immense guilt. The words my MIL said were hurtful, though she probably didn’t think anything of them. When my father passed, her words just kept repeating in my brain.
It was hard to forgive her when her words echoed in my head daily.”
3. “I Should Have Spoken Up”
“I was married for about five years when my father passed away. I was an only child, and my mother passed away when I was young. About a month after my father’s passing, my mother-in-law arrived at our house with my husband in tow.
She insisted, ‘You need to get rid of your father’s belongings right now! I don’t understand why you keep those things, they will only make you feel worse!’
I resisted, as I wasn’t ready to face the task yet.
My MIL continued, ‘Everything will go to a good home. We can even give your father’s belongings to charity. Please just give everything away.’
I didn’t feel comfortable parting with my father’s belongings yet, but my MIL pressured me. So, I moved forward. It was an extremely difficult decision.
A couple of weeks later, we visited my husband’s uncle. My MIL was there, along with various other brothers and sisters-in-law, and all of our children.
When I stepped out of the car, the first person I saw was my husband’s uncle. To my horror, he was dressed head to toe in my father’s old clothes. It was a total slap in the face. I was still upset and grieving, and my MIL lied to me about donating my father’s belongings.
I didn’t say a word, although I should have spoken up for myself. I thought it was an extremely cruel thing to do. Had my MIL and the uncle asked, I would have given them my father’s belongings at a later date. However, it was just too early in the grieving process.
I still haven’t forgiven my MIL for blatantly lying.”
4. “You Can Keep Him”
“My ex-mother-in-law kept urging my then-husband and me to have a ‘trial separation,’ after he was caught cheating.
I told them, ‘I gave birth to our 6-year-old son and your grandson. I just had a baby girl. I work full-time, take care of the kids by myself, and do all of the yard and housework. I already feel like we are separated.’
If we were going to do a ‘trial separation,’ it meant my then-husband was less willing to work on our marriage.
Eventually, I told my husband to leave. He went to live at his mother’s house, who waited on him hand and foot while he ran around and stayed out all night. After one month of him having a grand old time at his mother’s, his father told him he needed to leave.
My MIL called me and said, ‘I think it’s time for him to come home to you now.’
I asked her, ‘Seriously? He left me for a month and treated me terribly. He completely abandoned his children. And you think it’s okay?’
‘Well, he is a grown man. Men can go and do whatever they want to do!’ she replied.
I was BEYOND done.
‘No, ma’am. Not today,’ I told her, ‘You can keep him!’
I never understood how MILs could condone awful behavior from their sons. It couldn’t be me.”
