Although marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond between two lovers who want to make the ultimate commitment to each other, it is not uncommon for one or more in-laws to let their own self-centeredness fester to the point where it seeps into the relationship that has nothing to do with them. From “I Do,” to “I Don’t,” people share their heartbreaking and infuriating stories of how their in-laws intentionally placed a strain on their marriages.
All content has been edited for clarity.
“He Was An Egocentric And Creepy Man”
“I had issues with my father-in-law. He was mean, rude, and made nasty comments to me.
Within the first year of my boyfriend and I dating, I had a problem with my current roommate. I spent most of my time at my boyfriend’s house.
Staying at my boyfriend’s house was great until his father started making strange comments to me.
His father would say things like, ‘Oh, I love girls with long hair,’ and, ‘The only girls who are worth dating look just like you.’
My boyfriend’s mother only seemed to encourage these types of comments. I once caught them both smiling at me.
Upon me asking her what was so funny, my boyfriend’s mother replied, ‘It’s nothing. He has always just loved girls with long hair like you.’
The worst comment my boyfriend’s father ever said was, ‘I think we would have dated if we were in high school together.’
At this point, he was fifty-five and I was twenty-four. It was incredibly creepy. I chalked a lot of his behavior up to his male ego, and I didn’t think it was worth acknowledging. My boyfriend was never there when the comments were made, which was probably a deliberate move on his father’s part.
However, I knew I needed to move out when his father crossed a line. I had been having lower abdominal pain for the past two years, and it had gotten increasingly worse in the last six months. There was a hospital close to the house, so I told my in-laws I was going to walk to get some relief from the pain. His father instead insisted on driving me to the hospital, and he accompanied me to the emergency room.
The nurse didn’t ask him to leave the room when she pulled my pants down and shirt up to inspect my abdomen. I think she assumed he was my father. Even still, I wouldn’t have my father come in the room with me now unless I was very sick.
I was so foggy from the pain, so I didn’t question what was happening until the emergency room doctor joked about my FIL’s presence.
The doctor asked, ‘Is he your boyfriend?’
And my FIL replied, ‘I wish I was.’
I then knew I had to leave. When my boyfriend found out his father took me to the hospital, he was livid. My boyfriend told me he didn’t realize how dark his relationship had become with his father until then. He didn’t trust his father around me anymore.
My boyfriend and I moved out of the house one month later. Since my boyfriend ‘outing,’ his father to the rest of the family, we were labeled as ‘lying, manipulative, and violent.’ My ‘stories’ about my boyfriend’s father were barbaric and wrong. Ironically, his father admitted to everything and said he found me attractive.
Two years later, the relationship is still strained. My boyfriend now sees a counselor. As you could imagine, his father’s behavior didn’t start because of me. The father had a history of being verbally abusive and controlling.
It isn’t always the mother-in-law who has issues. Sometimes, your FIL is an egocentric, strange, and creepy man.
Yep. We still cringe after reading this one.”
Those Are Some Choice Words Alright
“On the day our son was born, my husband’s firstborn child, his father’s first biological grandchild, he reached out to his father and called to give him the news.
Their relationship had been troubled for years. The man is not a nice person. He’s an addict and a cheater. He left the family on my husband’s high school graduation day by announcing it to the family as they gathered for the post ceremony celebrations. ‘They are your headache now, kid,’ he scoffed before he walked out the door.
In spite of it all, my husband tried to reconcile with his father around the time of our wedding. We remained cordial but not close for the next few years. When my husband called, as proud as any new father would be, his father’s wife answered the phone. She was kind and friendly and happy to hear the news. Then she tried to call her husband to the phone. ‘Charlie, it’s your son! He’s on the phone for you. ‘ What he said next was unforgivable.
‘I’ve got nothing to say to that prick,’ he said over the phone.
It was clear as day. No way it was misunderstood. She was stunned and speechless. My husband was hurt again by a pitiful excuse of a human being on one of the most important days of his life. He said goodbye and hung up. They have not spoken or seen each other since.
Our son is now 25-years-old.
We have since learned that it is highly possible that his father mistakenly believed my husband encouraged his mother to sue for unpaid and underpaid child support for his younger brother. She made that decision on her own.
The poor guy! Grandfather or not, their son is fortunate to not have to deal with a cruel person like him.”
“He Was The Meanest Man I Had Ever Met”
“My father-in-law didn’t like me at all. He was one of the meanest men I had ever met.
My FIL was passive-aggressive, and he would either make his displeasure known by using cold silence or pretending like I wasn’t in the room. Or more likely, he used actions that were always cruel.
For example, one holiday morning, he and his wife asked to speak to my wife (his daughter) and me in private. At this point, my wife and I had a daughter who was only one year old. My FIL and MIL started the conversation by telling my wife and me about how we were terrible parents because we let our daughter sleep in too late.
My MIL proceeded to say, ‘I want to kidnap your daughter and fly her to a place where you will never find her again.’
My FIL shook his head and added, ‘You are the most obnoxious and self-centered person I have ever met. I wholeheartedly despise you.’
Let’s just say, it wasn’t the best holiday ever. The same night, karma came and gave my MIL and FIL the stomach flu. My wife and I left the next morning, and our relationship with my in-laws was never the same.
Years later, my FIL visited my wife and me. He and his new wife took us out to dinner, and we spent the day together talking and laughing. I kept my distance because even though he was being friendly, I still felt like I couldn’t trust him.
After dinner, I heard my FIL rambling about not being able to find directions to get to his nearby hotel. I gave him directions, but he disregarded me and began looking at a map on his phone.
His wife asked, ‘Why are you looking it up? He just gave you the right directions.’
My FIL turned to me and coldly said, ‘I’m not trusting any instructions he gives me.’
Just in one second, he revealed his true self and made me furious.
Flashback twenty years ago, my wife and I joined the in-laws and their kids on a family vacation. It was a holiday in July, and my FIL and his grown children were sitting on the dock at the lake. My FIL and his children decided to blow off some fireworks, and it sounded like a good time. Even though there were enough fireworks for us all to have fun, my FIL completely disregarded me while I sat off to the side alone. Once again, I was resentful.
Ten years ago, I hosted a holiday party for our family. My FIL had been drinking, and he began asking me ridiculous questions.
He asked, ‘So, what life goals do you think you have?’
Before I got the chance to answer, my FIL responded, ‘My goal is to retire by seventy years old and outlive my ex-wife. I can’t wait until the day when I can dance on her grave.’
Sweet guy. Everyone could dream.
After twenty-eight years of marriage and thirty years of living together, my wife and I decided to get a divorce. It was her decision, and I was heartbroken. From the day we separated, I never heard from a single member of her family to check on me and see how I was doing. Let alone from her FIL, whom I can only imagine was celebrating our separation. He was a selfish man who never made me feel welcome in the family.
Now, my daughter is thirty-one years old and married. I’ve always tried to be the FIL I never had to my son-in-law. I support my daughter and SIL in every way possible, and I always let them know I love them. If we take a family picture, I always make sure my SIL is included.
Be a good person to your child and their spouse. It isn’t hard to make someone feel welcome, wanted, and included.
We couldn’t agree more.”
Sharing Is Not Caring
“Ever since I had given birth to our beautiful son, my mother-in-law literally disregarded my existence on this planet.
My son had his second doctor’s visit and our car was being repaired. She offered to drive us there.
When we got there the doctor said my son was going to have his first round of shots and as I was about to answer back, my mother-in-law had cut me off!
She started going on about how she thought it was best if my son should only get one shot and how we should have rescheduled the next ones separately.
The pediatrician then said, ‘No.’
Because, duh, they were very busy and it was just standard procedure. It was also very quick.
Then my mother-in-law had a tone and said she didn’t think it was best.
The doctor said, ‘Everyone gets the shots.’
My mother-in-law had kept going back and forth with him until the doctor just told her to stop and it didn’t concern her. He also told her it was not her decision because she wasn’t the mom.
Then the doctor turned to me and said, ‘Let me ask you some questions.’
I said, ‘Thank you,’ because I had thought that put my mother-in-law in her place.
But no.
After my son got his shots, he cried. As I was about to pick him up to comfort him, she shoved her way in front of me and grabbed him. She behaved like the nurse had done something horrible to him and she was the only one who could comfort him!
I was beyond aggravated with her. It took me about point five seconds to take my son back from her and she stepped back as I was doing so!
On the way home, she was quiet.
When we got home she told her ex-husband– my boyfriend’s dad– that I ‘stole’ him from her.
After that, she sent her daughter one day unannounced to come and get my son because she wanted to have him for a night. She didn’t even think to ask me. He was two months old!
Why did she do that?
Everything she did made me feel like she wanted my son to be dependent on her, not me.
It was annoying.
I had to tell her off because my mom had cut his hair a little too short, but I already had dealt with it.
It was over. My son was nine months by then.
My father-in-law had either sent a picture or told her. I wasn’t really sure, but she had called my mom and screamed at her on the phone.
My mom had texted me to talk about it and in the midst of our conversation, my boyfriend’s phone started ringing from both of his parents.
I had known it was bad because first, it was his mom, then his dad. The calls were consistent and went back and forth from his mom to his dad. I had ended up blocking them on his phone and started texting in a group message and said my piece. I told her everything I had ever been frustrated about all these nine long months and finally said what I’ve always wanted to.
She was not his mother.
I was.
Good on her.”
“I Respected My Son For Staying With Her Despite How Much It May Have Hurt”
“My daughter-in-law was raised in two different households due to divorce. The situation left a great deal of confusion and hurt in her life. Over time, both of her parents dated a variety of people. Several of which left positive and negative impressions on my DIL.
At the time of my DILs pregnancy, she and my son were not married. They were worried about how they would be perceived by the rest of the family once they heard the news. My fiance and I were living in a city further away, and we had not spent much time with my son and DIL as a couple. Upon hearing their news, I congratulated them as any parent would.
I teasingly asked my son, ‘Are you going to make an honest woman out of her to please her mother?’
My son assured me, ‘The plan is in the works.’
Nothing more was said, and we waited to hear when the wedding was going to take place.
One day, we drove to the courthouse to see the wedding ceremony. There among his sister, grandmother, and all of her relatives, my son and DIL were married. During the entire ceremony, there was a noticeable air of separation between us and the remainder of the group.
Fast forward to the birth of my DIL and son’s child, and there were multiple complications. The baby was placed in a different unit of the hospital and on a ventilator. I rushed to the hospital to be with my son and support my DIL. I was admitted immediately, but my fiance wasn’t allowed in by my DILs stepmother’s rules. My son’s father wouldn’t be coming to the hospital at all, so I believed it would have been nice for his other father figure to be present. I was stunned, but I kept quiet to keep the peace.
This situation continued for two days. During this time, both my son and DIL have slept at the hospital and wanted to go home to rest. They eventually left the hospital and had to leave their newborn under a doctor’s care. Within thirty minutes of them leaving, the doctors decided they were going to trial my son’s child without a ventilator. My DILs stepmother texted only my stepdaughter to inform them about what was happening, and not my son. When I realized she wasn’t texting my son, I took it upon myself to let him know, too. Both my son and DIL hurried back to the hospital to see their newborn child again.
The next day, the doctors allowed my son and DIL to hold their child. At this point, my fiance still wasn’t allowed in the room. This same type of distancing continued for the entire next year. My son and DIL would visit, but they would never allow my fiance and me to babysit. They only left their daughter with her parents.
One day I confronted my DIL, and I finally got an answer regarding her nasty behavior.
She explained to me, ‘I have a weird feeling about your fiance. He reminds me of someone my mother dated when she was little who wasn’t a good man. Most women are blind to the signs when they love a man, but I can tell something is strange about him.’
I told my DIL, ‘I am well aware of the signs of a man being bad. My ex-husband wasn’t good to me or my children, and I can recognize the signs at this point.’
My DIL shook her head and sighed, ‘I don’t like the man. I fear him. I don’t want my daughter to be around him.’
I finally gave up on trying to see my granddaughter, as my DIL remained immobile about the issue.
At my son’s wedding, she didn’t speak to me the majority of the time.
When my DIL finally did approach me, she said, ‘I just wanted you to know it was your son’s choice not to bring our daughter to the wedding.’
I just shook my head. I had yet to be anywhere with all of my children and their children. It wouldn’t ever happen, either.
I have since found out my son has spoken to his wife, and he doesn’t agree with her at all. Because of how I was treated in my marriage, I won’t blatantly argue with her. I respected him for standing with his wife despite how much it may have hurt.
Sad. Just sad.”
“My Husband And I Never Spoke To Her Again”
“At the time of this incident, my mother-in-law was dying. She had advanced cancer in her liver and she only had a few weeks to live. The doctors operated, saw the extent of her condition, and sent her home. There was nothing more they could do.
My husband was off work due to a back injury and I had time off, so we both drove to his mother’s house to get it ready for her return from the hospital. It was late, we were exhausted, and he was in immense pain laying in the back of the car. When we arrived at the house, the lights were already on. We walked in to find my sister-in-law, my husband’s sister, there stealing their mother’s silver souvenir spoons off of the wall.
The house hadn’t been cleaned in forever and it smelled of cats. The carpet was stiff, and it was obvious she just let the cats go to the bathroom on the floor. The house was in a truly unsanitary condition and was unfit for a woman to live in who had just gotten surgery. Not to mention, we were supposed to sleep there this night! We didn’t. We spent the night in a motel and tried to arrange a schedule to clean and see his mother.
I went with my husband to his mother’s house the next morning. When I got out of the car, I was greeted by some crazy relative of his.
Without warning, she sharply said, ‘I don’t want you to be here right now.’
I would later find out that his spoon-stealing sister had said some bad things about me while we were gone.
My sister-in-law’s behavior continued on a downward spiral from there.
I ignored her and continued walking inside the house to clean up a bit. My mother-in-law was a lovely woman, but she wasn’t a house proud kind of person. I began cleaning at the back of the small home and pushed whatever was on the floor out the front door. There was a huge pile of junk laying at the front door.
During this time, her neighbors came in and seemed surprised to find I wasn’t some arrogant city girl, but someone in jeans with a scrub brush in my hand. It took two days of solid work to get the place washed and cleaned. I rented a carpet cleaner and took down the filthy curtains, washed everything made of fabric, and hit Walmart for some cheap valences to cheer the place up. I also replaced the rug next to the sink, polished the furniture, and washed the windows. I went to make dinner for her before she arrived home, and found an old pan of meatloaf in the oven.
When my mother-in-law came home, it was the cleanest her house had ever been. I was resting quietly when the evil SIL came in, dropped her bag and keys on top of her mother, and began to upset her with talk of her crazy son.
We couldn’t find my MIL’s checkbook, and it turned out my SIL had taken it, too. My MIL’s pharmacy wouldn’t give up her pain meds until they had paid, so my husband and I had to leave our cards.
My MIL passed away a few weeks later. At the funeral home, my SIL told the home she was supposed to have her mother’s rings.
The rings were supposed to go to her younger daughter.
My evil SIL also made the funeral arrangements and then didn’t pay for them.
My husband and I never spoke to her again.
As they should.”
Rude And Forgotten
“My MIL was a great person after the SOB died. Till then she was a timid mouse. Best day of her life was the day he died.
For example, they were at my summer home. All the floors were white carpet. He spilled a tiny bit of coffee on the counter. I guess she was not fast enough to clean the spot. He threw the cup of coffee on the white rug, stormed out and said to her ‘Now you can clean up that’.
He had a stroke or something. I don’t know. His son never went to see him. The funeral date was changed so my girls would not miss a low level competition. It was more important.
She outlived him by 16 glorious years. She white water rafted and traveled. Her grandchildren adored her. I adored her. At his funeral one person cried a couple of tears. I think they cried for what never was and never would be. I actually cannot think of any time he was even mentioned again.
Imagine being so crummy that no one cares when you kick the bucket.”
A Little Too Far
“After about two years of marriage, we moved into a bigger home.
The following Christmas, we decided to host at our house to invite both our families. I was excited to show the moms I could host a big dinner. They asked if they could bring anything.
I said, ‘Maybe a side dish or dessert or something, not a big deal.’
Low and behold, later in the afternoon, my mother-in-law showed up with tin-lined boxes filled with an entire cooked turkey dinner. My dinner was almost ready but she insisted on hers. She also brought all her dishes and place settings, a centerpiece for the table, glasses, and anything else you could think of.
She placed her hand soap in my kitchen to go with the tea towels, kitchen rugs, and other kitchen decors from her house. She insisted everyone wear their slippers in case my floors weren’t clean.
Which they were.
I was infuriated but let it go.
Then, my own mother who also thought it was all weird as all get out, came to me and asked if I’d seen my washroom yet. This woman went as far as to redecorate my entire bathroom right down to the shower curtain with all stuff from her house.
I was flabbergasted.
I’d never seen anyone behave this way. She told me she wanted her husband to feel comfortable. He was pretty laid back and lost in the sauce. He probably didn’t even care or notice.
When she left that night, she re-packed all of her boxes with all her items and left.
I told my husband he needed to talk to her and that it couldn’t ever happen again.
Low and behold, come Easter, the same thing happened.
I’d had enough.
She could do it at her house from now on. The following Christmas, my new son was nine days old. She showed up at seven am with a camera and a tripod. She insisted we were doing a family photo right then and there. I kicked her out of my house that day and never looked back.
Needless to say, we got divorced.
It’s already bad enough to have an overbearing MIL, but a husband that won’t defend you? Yeah, she made the right decision.”
“I Couldn’t Be Safe In Situations With My MIL”
“I could have written a novel about how much I disliked my mother-in-law, but instead I will just say this.
When a person’s boundaries are disrespected over and over again and their significant other pretends not to notice, they will eventually stand up for themselves.
It may or may not have been a ‘healthy’ way to handle conflict, but removing myself from the toxic environment was the best thing for me to do. My husband didn’t defend my physical or emotional boundaries, so I removed myself from the position. Any self-respecting person would have done the same if requests to cease the behavior fell on deaf ears, just as my requests did.
I tried talking to my husband about stopping his mother from waltzing into our apartment unit unannounced, rifling through our belongings, and taking items to ‘borrow’ without asking. Oftentimes, she would also stop by without asking first, and she smothered me with personal questions. I didn’t have the kind of relationship with my MIL that allowed me to be open with her at all.
My husband relayed these concerns to his parents, and I was told, ‘It’s just how she is,’ and there were zero improvements in the situation.
My next tactic was to try and control the situations I found myself in where my MIL would be present. I tried to discuss the situation with my husband and set a prior plan in place. The plan included how long we would stay and words I could use to indicate when I was becoming uncomfortable. Unfortunately, even though my husband would agree, he wouldn’t stick to the plan. It created a trust issue because I thought I could walk into situations with my MIL being safe, but I couldn’t.
I ended up firmly stating I would no longer visit my MIL. The only way I would see my MIL is if it was at a public gathering where I could escape to other people’s company. It was the last option, as I couldn’t ‘change’ her. My MIL refused to control herself, and I refused to tolerate her barging into my life like a Viking on a rampage.
The situation wasn’t ideal, but I didn’t know what else I could do. The ‘no visiting’ rule also extended to my husband’s sister, who was a carbon copy of my MIL. My husband acknowledges after many years how his handling of his mother lacked foresight, and how I shouldn’t have been expected to deal with her. Basic decency should have prevented my MIL from being nosy, opinionated, loud, overbearing, and manipulative, but it never did.
I’m glad my husband now realizes where he went wrong.
Better late than never.”
The Wicked Witch Of The West
“My sister-in-law is truly the Wicked Witch of the West. She acted rudely toward me ever since my husband and I’s engagement. She threw a fit on the day of our wedding ceremony, and threw huge tantrums two months before our wedding, too! She and her husband demanded money from her parents for taking care of her own mother. She encouraged her parents to throw her own brother out of the house. The following day, she asked for shares in the property.
One time when I was with her, she yelled, ‘If you and my brother get married, I will never step foot in your house!’
She would still come to our house nearly every day after she said this to us. My husband and I kept our cool until after our wedding in hopes we wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore.
This past August, we were supposed to go on vacation for a couple of days. Prior to our trip, my father-in-law celebrated his birthday. On the day of his birthday, we spoke to him and tried to plan festivities for the day. He wasn’t interested in celebrating his birthday, and my husband and I didn’t make anything of it. The same weekend, we left for our trip. At the same time, my SIL visited her parents. While we were out, she called their entire family to celebrate her father’s birthday. She kept uploading pictures on social media strictly for my husband to see.
My husband was so upset. He had asked both his parents if they wanted to make birthday plans, even before we left for our trip. They never mentioned anything about his sister coming or the entire family coming. A few days later, he called his father and they got into a big fight. After this incident, we decided we will never do anything for them again.
When we came back from our vacation, my SIL and his parents fought with him for calling and yelling at them just because they celebrated his father’s birthday. In a fit of anger, my SIL pushed my husband and hit him.
Both of his parents were staring at her, and told my husband, ‘Watch it! You need to learn how to control your anger.’
While this was happening, they didn’t utter a single word to their daughter.
For six hours, she kept telling her parents about they made a mistake bringing my husband and me back home, and how it would be better if we all stayed separated.
My SIL whined, ‘Dad, remove them from the house! They don’t belong here anymore!’
After the argument, my husband and I went to our room. We decided we needed to move out of the house immediately. When his parents realized we wouldn’t be staying with them, they quickly changed their tune. This angered my SIL even more.
Since the incident, my husband and I have completely cut ties with his sister. If she comes to the house, we both stay in our room. Just recently, she threw a huge tantrum on Diwali when she found out about my pregnancy. She insisted we invite her to our baby shower, and my family members actually listened to her. I decided I no longer wanted to have a shower at all if she had to be there. I asked my side of the family to hold a get-together for me, and ignored my in-laws altogether.
Unbelievable!”
