The downside to eating out in public is the chance you’ll be seated near rude people. Some have a hard time minding their own business or have nothing better to talk about than other people. These folks share about the times they were eating out and heard someone nearby saying offensive things about them, their friends, or other strangers– and some called out the offender right then and there! This content has been edited for clarity.
Someone’s Gotta Do It
“On our way back to California from visiting family in New Jersey, my husband and our two children, three and five, stopped for dinner at an Italian restaurant. When we walked in, the place was packed, and a very nice woman who hardly spoke English seated us.
We looked over the menus and pointed to our selection so our waitress didn’t have to stress about whether she had understood us correctly as she clearly had a million other things to do. While waiting for our food, I noticed it was only this woman waiting on about 20 tables and only her husband in the back cooking these really great, quality Italian meals. I was really impressed and proud of them!
With that, in strolled three men. They were also greeted and seated by the woman. After she gave them menus and walked off, they started going in on this poor woman, saying she couldn’t speak English and shouldn’t be working there. They got her to come over to their table and asked about the difference between meatballs and sausage. She could hardly understand them, let alone answer their questions because of the language barrier. They continued to badger her until I couldn’t take it anymore!
It was so packed I was literally back to back with one of those fine gentlemen. I asked him to give her a break as she clearly couldn’t speak English and was doing her best. He told me she should know how to speak English.
‘Buzz off! These two are running this place on a Sunday with no help and all you can do is disrespect them?’ I said.
We were then standing face to face screaming back and forth in the packed restaurant. Mind you, I’m 5’5″ and 115 pounds. My poor husband was so used to my outbursts by then that he just sat eating quietly. After sitting back down, the cook (the husband) came out and told the three men to leave.
I cried from exhaustion while I ate and was so sad the poor couple had to endure that while they were working so hard. I hated to make a scene and was embarrassed by my behavior but not one other person in the whole packed restaurant was going to say anything to stand up for the woman.”
Incredible Boy
“In the late 80s when our now 38-year-old daughter was in kindergarten, I’d pick her up every Tuesday at noon. We’d go to Burger King for her special treat and then we were off to Kroger for weekly grocery shopping. During one of our Burger King lunches, another mother from our neighborhood and her two sons, ages six and four, were there and we greeted each other but didn’t sit together.
Seated near us was yet another mother and her son of roughly the same age as our children— except this little boy had no arms below the elbow. He was a handsome, engaging little guy. He was feeding himself using his elbows managing his junior whopper, french fries and ketchup, and a drink, all the while chatting happily with his mom. His movements were seamless and he never spilled a drop or a crumb.
The two entitled little demons noticed this valiant little man and started screaming, ‘Mom, mom, there’s a monster sitting next to us! Oh my gosh, Mom, where are his arms?! He’s so ugly, Mom! Why does he get to be here?!’ Then the older brother turned to our little hero and demanded, ‘What are you doing here?! You’re a monster! Go away!’
The mother of the two monsters did not react in any way. She did not correct her sons nor did she meet my eye but continued chomping on her whopper and sipping her diet coke. Before I could jump from my seat, my five-year-old daughter did.
‘YOU’RE MEAN!’ she screamed at the boys.
She then went to comfort the amazing little guy who was performing dining miracles and I followed in her wake, so proud of my girl. On my way, I sternly suggested to the neighbor woman she might want to teach her children some kindness but that was entirely in vain.
By that time, they were both slugging their mother and using profanity about the ‘monster.’ In the meantime, our daughter and I had a great time with the mom and her special son and our daughter tried to use her elbows to eat for the next two weeks.”
Nasty Comment
“I was on a first date with a guy I met online. I was dressed up and thought I looked quite nice. I was 29 years old at the time and slim. My date picked me up at my house and we went to a bar/restaurant a few doors down from where I lived above a shop. We were having a drink outside at a table when I heard a horrible comment that stuck in my mind for a long time after.
A girl sitting at an opposite table with a group of people suddenly pointed at me as she said very loudly so all could hear, ‘So what I’m saying is she’s pretty and she’s not.’
The comment was in no doubt directed in my direction. It was like she was in a conversation about what constitutes an attractive person. As I was on a date, I was mortified. My date didn’t seem to hear what was said but maybe he was too gallant to react and chose to ignore it. He appeared too focused on our conversation thankfully.
I was too shocked and upset to say or do anything. I felt my eyes tearing up and made an excuse to leave soon after. To this day, I don’t know why she said it. It later transpired she is the sister of a friend of my brothers. I have never met her to my recollection. I can’t think why she would say such a nasty thing. It hurt me deeply as it’s bad enough to think badly of yourself without others shouting it for all to hear in public.”
In One Ear And Out The Other
“I believe it was my birthday or wedding anniversary. My husband and I took our daughter out to eat at my favorite Mexican restaurant. My daughter was two and was very quiet. I heard a woman say she thought kids should be banned from restaurants.
She said she went out to get away from her own kids so why would she want to have to tolerate someone else’s? She went on to say that it takes a toll on the staff to have to clean up after them, takes time that could be used in seating the next people, and it’s just a mess. I also heard that at three she was going to cry or talk through the meal and probably not even eat anything.
My daughter sat quietly even while waiting for her food. She ate every bite and the waitress loudly mentioned how she was better behaved than some adults and finished every drop. The woman rolled her eyes and looked away. She was still there when we left. I mentioned that nothing was on the floor. I pictured her kids at home, glad she was gone.
When my daughter was three, we were at the same restaurant and were expecting another baby. Once again, we were celebrating. The woman commented that my daughter was dressed up so it must be a special occasion. We responded that it was. Our daughter was well-behaved, quiet, and ate all her food.
Partway through the meal, I ordered and received a non-alcoholic strawberry daiquiri. The woman got very angry and started to get upset. Her date told her to quiet down but she clearly wasn’t listening. She was irate even after the waitress and I told her there was no alcohol in my drink. She got up and announced she was calling children’s services. She said, ‘If there are no laws against it then there should be.’
The waitress told the manager about the issue and said he was available to verify there was no alcohol in my drink. We waited expecting someone to barge in but of course, no one did. All she managed to do was interrupt our celebration. I never drank alcohol or even took anything for a headache while pregnant but apparently this woman knew better. It’s sad people just don’t listen to reason.”
Grow Up
“When a lady and her husband came inside a restaurant I was at, two older ladies that were seated at the table next to me gasped and quickly started to whisper amongst themselves. It was pretty obvious they were talking about the woman who just came in with her husband because they kept glancing over their shoulders to stare and would laugh and then look away.
The lady, in particular, was on the heavier side, but that doesn’t mean you shame someone for their weight. Regardless of how you feel, you keep comments like that to yourself. It’s a respectable thing to do. I wasn’t being nosy or trying to listen in on their conversation, but they were talking so loudly the whole restaurant could have heard them and they didn’t care if it was hurting that women’s feelings or not.
I was over them insulting her and acting like children. I was over the fact they talked about the woman from the moment that she walked through the restaurant doors and continued to do so even while eating. At that point, I was losing my appetite.
‘How about you old hags shut up?’ I said placing my fork down on my plate and staring at them. ‘This whole night, all you did was degrade a lady who clearly is happy with herself and clearly, you are not and you’re reflecting your insecurities onto her. Reality check? Nobody wants to be married to a shrew and maybe that’s why you’re both single.’
I didn’t care if I was disrespectful or how it made me look at that moment. Nobody else had the balls to tell these ladies, so I did. Needless to say, they didn’t say anything for the rest of the night because right after that little conversation, they left. They made a complaint on the way out when in reality, they were the issue. I can’t stand nasty individuals.”
Chocolate Cake
“My friend and I went out to eat at a restaurant one evening. She is extremely skinny and ordered a rather large meal. She got up to use the restroom after eating her salad and the woman at a table across the way said, ‘It’s such a waste of money to take that girl out to eat, she’s just throwing it all up right now anyways.’
My friend is not anorexic or bulimic, she’s just exceptionally skinny and tall. Unfortunately, she also has a very weak bladder and will get up many times during an outing to use the restroom. Not just in restaurants but anywhere: movies, church, you name it. Every time she got up, the woman made the same kind of comments about how shameful it was to waste money, food, and drinks on her.
It came time to order dessert and the waitress took our order before the other table. My friend just so happened to order the last piece of the house specialty chocolate cake. The waitress explained to the other table that someone had just ordered the last piece, but that they’d gladly comp her a different dessert.
The woman went off, ‘Don’t you dare serve that vomiting disgusting twig my piece of chocolate cake! She’s just going to throw it all up anyways!’ She then turned to my friend, ‘You should be ashamed of yourself for wasting other people’s money and good food by eating it and throwing it all up!’
My friend took her time savoring her piece of chocolate cake then looked at me and said, ‘Dear goodness if that cake wasn’t so good I’d throw it up in that woman’s lap just to prove her right.’
We had to stop for fries on our way home because she was still hungry.”
Lame Hall Of Fame
“I put myself through college at Ohio State University working at a very upscale restaurant. The waitresses wore 1900 Gibson girl hair and floor-length dresses. We were not allowed to write down the orders and were not allowed to ask the customers who ordered what.
The restaurant attracted the most influential people in town. Jack Nicolas was a regular and so were the coaches of all the Ohio State teams. In fact, I served brunch to the team before games. Every doctor, lawyer, and banker in Columbus came there.
The sugar was colored granules in cracked glass decanters. The salt and pepper shakers were pewter and quite pricey. Occasionally when guests left, a decanter or salt and pepper seemed to leave with them. It was a small restaurant that seated about 60 in the dining area. One night, we had a brief power outage and the restaurant went dark. When the lights came back on, every sugar and salt and pepper in the whole restaurant was gone.
Somehow, I got elected to tell the patrons that the containers seem to be out of sight so the entire staff was going to go into the kitchen for a few minutes. One rude man shouted, ‘The low-life food server is accusing us of stealing.’
Well, the staff went in the kitchen for three minutes and when we returned, like magic, they were all back on the tables. Even the rude guy’s table with a very embarrassed-looking wife.
Okay, if you made it this far, that wasn’t the rudest thing said around me. The rudest was said by the Ohio State Basketball coach who is now a Hall of Famer. His name was well-known in 1969. You can figure it out. One night, the talk at the bar turned to the Texas team that beat the Kentucky team three years earlier with an all-black starting five.
I knew it was him who said it as he was the only one who always wore the most awful plaid pants. He said, ‘It will be a cold day in hell before I ever have an all-black starting five.’
I could not stand the man. I said, ‘Well plan on not winning much,’ as I walked away wondering if I would still have a job (I did). When the restaurant hosted a party for me years later when I graduated top of my law school class, he came. Yuck.”
Ignorance
“Back when I was in high school, my older sister passed away in a car crash because of an inebriated driver. The man was two times the legal blood alcohol limit, ran a red light going 90 mph in a 45 mph zone, and T-boned the car my sister was in.
Of course, I grieved for a long time, but my parents were absolutely inconsolable for months. Our family dynamic and way of life completely shifted. My father didn’t go back to work for months and I didn’t go back to school until the next semester started about a month and a half later. My parents and I were home all of the time but we spent less time together as a family than ever.
Even after the worst tragedies, things do go back to normal after a while. Or a new normal, at least. It had been a few months after my sister passed and my parents and I decided to go to our favorite Italian restaurant close to our house. We had been semi-regulars at that restaurant before my sister passed. Because of that, some waitstaff still recognized us and I guess some had seen my sister on the news after the crash so we were treated especially well. At least it seemed like that in my head.
Anyway, my parents and I were actually having a pretty good time. We were joking around and just felt normal. There was a small group of four particularly loud people seated at the table next to us but we tried to ignore them as best as we could. Towards the middle of our meal, we couldn’t help but overhear these people loudly joking about driving while they weren’t sober.
The group was sharing their stories about recent experiences where they drove while highly under the influence. After a while of listening to that, my parents both got very emotional and my dad had to go sit in the car without finishing his meal so he wouldn’t cry in public. My mother was also very upset so I told her to go wait in the car and that I’d cover the bill. Once my parents were out of the restaurant, I flagged down our waiter and asked for a bill. He could tell something was wrong so he kindly and quickly brought the bill.
Once I paid, I got up from my seat and walked a few feet over to the table filled with the pricks who made my parents cry. I loudly told them they were joking around about something that had just killed my older sister and that my parents had to leave because they were overcome with grief. I also mentioned that while they had no way of knowing what had happened to my family, nobody in their right mind should be joking around about something they should be embarrassed and ashamed of.
I wasn’t yelling but I was definitely talking loud enough to catch some of the staff and surrounding tables’ attention. Some people were giving me dirty looks for interrupting their meal but many more were giving dirty looks to the people at that table. I was 16 at the time and would probably handle it differently now, but I’m still proud of myself for standing up for my parents. Drive safe y’all.”
Prejudiced Prick
“Around 25 years ago we were in a Red Lobster on the edge of an older genteel part of town. Right across from us in the next section was an older couple probably in their late 70s. It became obvious she grew up in the 40s and 50s in a totally different social climate.
There was a black waitress taking care of that section and my first clue was some of the disparaging comments the lady made to the waitress. What started the whole thing was the woman wanted to order something that was no longer on the menu. The waitress tried to explain the situation but was cut off and called names. The lady insulted the waitress’s intelligence and mental acuity.
Any number of times I would have told her she could remove her sorry prejudiced self from the premises and not come back until she grew up, but the waitress just stood there with a neutral look on her face. She offered suitable alternatives which brought more insults. She offered to get someone else to serve the table which brought more insults along with the statement she was going to the manager to have her fired.
The waitress stepped back long enough to bring back the cook to explain the situation. He fared a little better but the old woman wasn’t through with the waitress yet, heaping more abuse and holding her responsible for them not having what she wanted. The waitress pretty much bowed out at that point, getting a white waitress to trade tables with her.
As she walked away, I approached the waitress out of sight of that table. I told her to please not hold a grudge that the woman was just plain evil and wrong all the way around. She just smiled telling me that in that area there were more than a few that had the same viewpoints but they were usually a little quieter about it.
My next stop was the manager to discuss her threat. I told him as far as I was concerned, the girl needed a raise– not just for putting up with the hostility but for the way she handled it. If that were to happen today, I would be inserting myself between them and telling her she needed to shut up and leave. I am old enough to have seen more of this kind of stuff than anyone should and my patience for it has gone past the maximum limit. I have regretted not standing up then and stopping it sooner.”
Unemployed
“I was in Chattanooga, Tennessee working at a franchise restaurant as a waiter after the mortgage crash some years ago. We advertised specials on the weekdays and it would draw in a crowd that was less affluent. It was fine as I get that people like to eat out and I provided them with the same outstanding service.
We had this one lady who would come in every few weeks, eat her food, and then complain to have it comped. There was nothing wrong with the food and of course, I wouldn’t get tipped. The folks she would eat with were invariably embarrassed but did nothing about it.
It had happened many times when they came back and sat in my section. I notified the manager we had a comp. coming. I took their drink and appetizer orders and when I returned, asked if they were ready to order their meal. When it was the woman’s turn I said, ‘And what free meal will you be ordering this evening?’
The table was silent. The manager on duty looked at me like I’d lost my mind but was smiling. In fact, I think the whole restaurant got quiet as the end of my employment drew near.
‘What do you mean by that?’ she asked, loudly and indignantly.
It was so quiet you could hear the dishwasher run in the back.
‘Well,’ I said most matter of factly, ‘In my times serving you, you’ve always complained and gotten your food and drinks for free when there’s nothing wrong with them. I don’t get it. You’re not homeless, you’re well-dressed, showered, and obviously didn’t walk here. It’s happened here many times and will probably happen again tonight. I thought I’d just clear the air a bit.’
She wasn’t happy, as you may imagine, and got rather loud in that very quiet establishment. Good news is I don’t think she came back. Bad news was neither did I.”
