In this article, we dive into the raw truth of bad parenting moments. From thoughtless words to moments of frustration, parents share the common missteps they made and the importance of learning from them.
All stories are edited for clarity.
Go Your Own Way
“It was 2003, and my second husband decided to divorce us. We were living in a huge house, and it felt cavernous. I had found out my husband was addicted to opiates, and I’d taken him to rehab, and we’d stayed married through it all. I was optimistic for a time, but then he ‘met someone.’
So I was sitting in my kitchen when my son walked in. He said my divorce was my fault, that I should’ve known my husband was doing drugs.
My life was a nightmare. My son was working and currently bringing in more than me, and he was only twenty-three. He was disrespectful to me much of the time, and I was trying to figure out what to do. I know he stayed tired, because he’d put a pizza in the oven, and fall asleep, and the propane would burn all night.
I said to him, ‘You know what?! You should move out while you still know everything.’ I regretted it right after.
It made my son so mad. I watched helplessly as he packed his gear and left. He went to my parents’ house. I asked my mom not to take him in, because he had never been out in the world, and he needed to make it.
But she did anyway. It was best. He lived at my parents’ house for ten yrs. My mom became ill and eventually was wheelchair-bound. Without my son, she would have died much sooner. He cared for her and made her laugh. Mom died in 2015, but she was happier that he was there. Not too long after, my son married. He and his wife are happy and that’s all I could ever hope for.”
A Concerned Father
“One Friday afternoon, my ex-wife dropped off my 9-year-old daughter for the weekend. I was living in an apartment across town just barely making ends meet. I had a warehouse job working the graveyard shift, so I remember being extremely tired when I came downstairs to meet my daughter.
Still, it was no excuse for what I did.
Because of my crazy schedule, it had been a while since I last saw my daughter. About three or four months, to be exact. As a quick backstory, my ex-wife and I went our separate ways a few years back because I found out she was cheating on me. Not too long after we broke things off, the other guy also decided to leave her high and dry. My ex-wife then turned to food for comfort and put on at least one hundred pounds in a year. I know some people would gloat about something like this. However, I couldn’t help but notice how much weight my daughter had been putting on as well. Each time my daughter visited me, she only seemed to be gaining more and more weight.
I love my daughter to death, but I being a concerned father just couldn’t believe how my ex-wife was refusing to take control of the situation. She was a growing girl, but all of this extra weight was going to be trouble later down the road. I knew because I also struggled with my weight in my youth.
When I saw my daughter, my heart dropped. I had to force a smile when she ran up to hug me, but in reality, I couldn’t believe how chubby she had gotten since the last time I saw her. To make matters worse, that night as I was getting her ready for bed, the pajamas I had for her no longer fit. I could tell it bothered my daughter, but I told her not to worry and got her one of my T-shirts to wear instead.
The next morning, I decided to use what little money I had to update the wardrobe I had for her. As she was trying on clothes in the fitting room, I decided to give her mother a call to express my concern.
‘I don’t like how big, Shelby has gotten,” I told her. “This isn’t healthy. She can barely fit the clothes I have for her.’
Of course, this started an argument on the phone between her mother and me. In annoyance, I told her that if she didn’t start taking action, Shelby would be a fat loser just like her.
As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt a presence behind me. I turned around and there was my daughter with a stunned look on her face holding all the clothes we picked out to try on.
‘They didn’t fit,’ she said in a small voice.
I felt terrible. I hung up the phone and said, ‘Don’t worry. We can try the ‘Juniors’ section.’
That was several years ago. My daughter never said anything about what happened, but I knew it hurt her. Now my daughter plays varsity volleyball and is very careful about what she eats. She lost the weight but I can’t help but feel a little guilty about what I said about her Mom in front of her. I’m just grateful that our relationship didn’t fall apart.”
The Little Artist
“My daughter used to love drawing when she was little. Before she started preschool, she would draw a picture for me pretty much every day. Her tiny hands moved gracefully across the paper, creating a world of vibrant colors and imaginative creatures. The pride in her eyes was palpable, and my heart swelled with love for them.
One day I was having a really hard time. My husband was deployed and I had no help with my two younger children. In the middle of changing a messy diaper, some of it got on my hands. On top of that, I left a pot of rice on the stove that had started to burn and my cell phone was ringing non-stop. I had been fussing all day and I remember feeling so defeated. As I was trying to finish cleaning my youngest son, my daughter happily bounced into the room holding a new drawing high in the air and waving it around.
‘Mommy, mommy! Look I made you this!’ My daughter said gleefully.
But in a moment of frustration and exhaustion, I uttered words that I would come to regret deeply. ‘I don’t care about your silly drawings right now. Can’t you see I have other things to worry about?’
I physically saw my daughter’s heart shatter. Her face fell, her eyes welling up with tears. I felt an immediate pang of guilt as I saw the light fade from her innocent gaze. How could I have said something so callous to my own precious child?
My daughter threw the paper on the floor and scampered off. In that moment, I was too concerned with her younger brother that I didn’t realize how upset I made her. It was only much later that night when I noticed my daughter being quiet and keeping to herself that I realized how much I hurt her feelings.
When I put her siblings down for the night I came into her room and apologized. Of course, she said she forgave me but she stopped drawing as often and eventually stopped altogether.
I still have the drawing she threw to the ground after all these years but I haven’t told her because I’m sure she’s forgotten by now.”
