Some people need their travel visa revoked. These people share the most ignorant thing they’ve seen a tourist do. Content has been edited for clarity purposes.
Maybe You Shouldn’t Trust A Total Stranger In A Foreign Country
“I saw an American tourist in India, who became very friendly with another tourist from Europe. I could not help but notice this, as he flew into India with me and then got on the same connecting flight in India.
Well, as he sat behind me on the connecting flight, all I could hear was how he was going to visit the various places, and how much money he had saved for the trip. I could not believe he was telling all this to someone he had just met on the flight. I would not have paid any attention at all had, if he had not been so loud. He seemed to be oblivious to the fact that there were other people on the flight. The person he was telling this to, was very sleazy-looking.
He spoke so increasingly loud that the passenger across from me told me in Hindi, ‘Any chance of sleeping on this flight was gone.’
Well, I still could not believe this tourist had as of now, agreed to take the other fellow with him to a historic temple. The man was telling this person intimate details of his life and how his wife and children had left him. Well the other tourist now told him he wanted to stay with him in the same hotel, to keep him company. He seemed very happy about all this. Well, I figured the situation at hand was going to be his own doing.
As we disembarked, I noticed his new friend was taking his coat for him. I saw them collect their luggage and leave the airport. Soon after, my luggage came as well.
After getting my luggage, I was ready to depart and I could see my wife waiting and the car upfront. I was outside the airport now, and I saw the tourist suddenly yelling.
His new friend had gone missing and it looks like he took his coat and wallet. Apparently, he was not staying with him in the hotel or going to keep him company after all.”
“Get Your Dogs”
“I lived in the Northern Territory in Australia for 15 years. It’s well known that most waterways will have crocodiles. Many of them are the big deadly saltwater crocodiles.
One day when we were fishing off a weir for barramundi, we had seen around three big salties hanging around. But the biggest one at around three meters long was basking in the rapid water right under the weir. It was hard to spot and was just submerged.
We were keeping a good eye on these guys as we didn’t want either us, or any fish we caught to be their dinner.
A camper van from Victoria, a southern state of Australia with absolutely no crocodiles, pulled up near us. The couple got out and were chatting as they checked out the water. They had not seen any of the crocs so they proceeded to let their two dogs out to run around. My friend and I wound our lines in fast as we were trying to catch their attention as their dogs went running to the edge of the water and splashing around. We ran down to this couple who were taking photos, still oblivious to the danger.
In fact, one of them was also heading to the edge of the water. My heart was pounding so hard with fear for them.
We finally got to them and told them, ‘Get your dogs out fast!’
They stared at us dumbly as we tried to tell them about the four big crocodiles. They told us they’d been told by a friend that ‘crocodiles don’t like rough water’ so they were safe. We told them about the huge one hanging out in the rough water. They didn’t believe us.
Unfortunately, as we were walking back to our gear we heard the first yelp and terrified screaming as the big crocodile ate one dog. Thankfully the dog died fast. The second dog ran back to them and survived the other three crocodiles that were quickly making their way over for a free feed too.
Even though they were stupid for not listening to locals, they had trusted their friend’s advice. I held the woman for ages as we took them to our campsite and made sweet tea for them both.
They were lucky it was their dog and not one of them.
I cried for that poor dog. I also cried for that big old crocodile. At his size, he was probably around 80 years old and according to locals, had lived those years in that stretch of river. Yet because of that dog, he was trapped and moved to a crocodile farm as he now posed a threat to the local community who protested him being moved.”
The 24-Hour Clock
“While waiting for the Coach bus to get us back to the airport in Spain, I saw a big family of about 15 people or so, milling around while the leader of the group was trying to find out where their Coach bus was.
It was around 19:45 and our Coach bus was set to arrive at 20:00. The guy said they’d been there early to make sure they didn’t miss it. They’d been ready and waiting since two pm as their Coach bus was set to arrive at eight pm. There were no staff or agents to help so I went inside with him to see the big book of information about flights, and Coach transportation, just to see if I could help.
I found their Coach reference with all the details.
The guy pointed out, ‘Look! See! That’s our coach, eight o’clock, why, isn’t it here ?’
I replied, ‘I’m really sorry, mate, but that says 08 hundred. That was eight o’clock this morning. Mine is the one at 20:00, that’s eight pm.’
The look on his face when he realised not only had the whole group missed the Coach bus, but they’d also missed their flight. Even worse was when he had to go and tell his whole family. I’ve never seen a group of people crumple as the realisation of their situation spread through them. Most of them starting to cry. Our Coach bus then left as the driver spoke no English so he couldn’t help.
There were no holiday reps until morning, and the hotel staff didn’t seem to be able to help. I have no idea how you get out of that situation. No room, no beds, no Coach bus and no flight. What do you do? All because some poor bloke didn’t realise these systems run on the 24 hour clock.”
Did It Really Taste Like Cinnamon?
“I went on a guided 4×4 tour in some of the natural parks of Botswana, Namibia, and Zimbabwe with some other folks a while back. Our guide was a pretty tough-looking fellow who was very well-versed in the natural world. He was happy to point out the various flora and fauna that we passed as we drove through the parks and, at one point, were poled along the Okavango swamps in low canoes called ‘mokoros’.
But we did have one American woman on the trip who really had come to Africa utterly clueless. Her first question when we came across a pod of hippos was, ‘Where do the hippos lay their eggs?’
The guide said, ‘Uh, hippos are mammals, ma’am. They don’t lay eggs.’
At one point, we came to an incredibly beautiful desolate area where there were ancient baobab trees on the edge of magnificent salt pans, or flats. They are called ‘Baines’ Baobabs’ after the famous naturalist, Thomas Baines who painted these in 1862. These magnificent trees are up to 4000 years old and have changed a little over the years. They are surely a sight of a lifetime. As I sat sipping a whisky with the guide, I reflected on how lucky I was to see this far-flung marvel.
While, this woman sat there saying, ‘These trees are ugly. This is all so ugly.’
The guide was getting a bit impatient with her.
As we drove on the next day, we came across elephant dung on the road. It was literally everywhere because elephants are so plentiful in Botswana.
The guide pointed at it and then said, offhandedly, ‘The elephants came by here pretty recently. We should see them later.’
The woman looked at the dung wide-eyed and said, ‘How long ago did they pass by?’
The guide had had it by then.
It was pretty obvious that wet-looking dung was recent dung and dry dung was old dung, but instead of calmly explaining this to her, he jumped out of the jeep and bent over the dung, sniffed it, and then stuck a finger in it and cleverly licked his middle (non-dung covered) finger.
Then he said, ‘I think they came by 23 minutes ago. They are close.’
The woman was amazed at this ancient tracking knowledge and said, ‘How can you know this to the last minute?’
‘Fresh dung tastes like cinnamon,’ he replied.
This woman jumped out of the truck, stuck her finger in the dung, and licked it. We were amazed.
She said, ‘I can’t taste cinnamon?’
The guide silently got back into the truck, shaking his head. We were all clapping. The elephants were indeed pretty close. The woman never mentioned this moment again.”
“This Is The West, Not New York City”
“My husband and I had brought our youngest son, 14, to a horse rental service in the foothills of Albuquerque, New Mexico.
This was his fourth lesson. We were waiting for his favorite horse to become available and decided to do it in the warmth of a little log cabin that also served as a small gift shop. On the wall behind the cash counter area hung a Remington.
A middle-aged couple came in to wait for their turn to ride. While the woman sat down on a bench, the husband nonchalantly unhooked and opened the little wooden gate and walked in behind the counter, unmanned at the time. That service person was doing double duty guiding horses so this was not unusual.
Well inside the gate and behind the counter, the man reached up and unhooked the Remington from the wall, weighing it in his hands, turning it up, down, and around. My husband and I gasped. Our son was outside then, hanging around the horse corral so he did not see this. The man’s wife was reading a magazine she had removed from a display and paid no attention to him.
The man uncocked the Remington and pointed it toward the back wall. Then suddenly, he fired. A bullet pierced the log cabin wall. The sound was so loud it temporarily deafened us.
The owner of the horse rental facility came racing up the hill from the corral, swearing, and demanding to know what was going on. We knew him from before as a man not to be trifled with. He grabbed the Remington from the clueless tourist and proceeded to chew him out.
He said, ‘What were you thinking, grabbing a Remington off a wall in an off-limits part of the store and FIRING it?! Are you completely off your rocker?’
The man just stood there looking stupid. All he could manage to say was, ‘Who knew it would be loaded?’
The owner stopped just short of calling him an imbecile and instead went on to explain, ‘This is the West, not New York City. When a weapon hangs on a wall here, it is not a decoration but a weapon to defend against anyone who would threaten lives and property. Of course, it would be loaded. Why else have it there?’
It was obvious the visiting New York couple was clueless as to how things worked in the West. They hurriedly left at the owner’s express invitation to avoid meeting the local sheriff who would have shown up next.
The owner was so upset and apologized profusely to us. Then he refused to charge our son or anyone for their rides that day. We were all grateful the bullet had not met with any human target when it exited the log cabin wall.
Our combined assessment of the event was more like, Who knew anyone would be THAT stupid?”
Never Mess With A Mama Bear
“My late wife and I were driving through Western Canada’s Banff National Park one morning back in ’84 when we happened across a sow black bear with her two small cubs. The three of them were breakfasting on the wild berries beside the highway, totally oblivious to the passing traffic and the small crowd of people (standing well back) that had stopped to watch and photograph. We joined those who stopped and with my faithful old Canon AE-1, I got some great shots of Mama bear and her cublings feasting on the roadside buffet.
Now along came this hero in his ‘trook ’n campuh’, sporting out of province plates. He wheeled up pretty darn close to the three bears and got out with his camera in hand. So close was he that Mama bear stopped munching on morning berries and cast a perturbed glare at this clown. Several of us told him to move farther back, but the warnings fell on deaf ears.
After a minute of him risking his life shooting close-up bear pictures, Mama bear was getting officially ticked off. Her warning growl turned into a dull roar. Now, Super Clown wasn’t at all put off by the agitated Bruno, because ‘ALL park bears are friendly, right? We’ve all seen how Yogi and Boo Boo interacted with Mr. Ranger, sir.’
At this point, the pinhead handed the camera to his wife (also not the brightest diva at the dance), standing next to him, and walked up to the nearest cub. All of us yelled for him to stay back.
However, he continued to scoop up the cub, turned to his wife, and said, ‘Get a picture of me holdin’ this thing.’
That’s the last coherent thing he said as the mother bear bonkers on the idiot. There’s no need to go into the details of the ensuing bear attack; suffice it to say that the win went to Mama bear by unanimous decision.
As luck would have it, there was a vacationing ER nurse in the small gathering of bystanders, and with the supplies from her travel kit, along with those from my very well equipped first aid tote, she was able to get the bleeding almost stopped and kept Moron Man from going into shock.
Twenty-five minutes later, the ambulance showed up and hauled Microbrain off to the hospital.”
“But They Ran Out Of Gas?”
“I was doing a job out in the middle of nowhere in Arizona when I came upon some folks that ran out of gas. They appeared to be from the New Jersey area. There were five of them—three women and two guys, all in their mid-20s.
They had been sitting out for an hour or so, with no traffic coming by. There were bags of fast food and other debris outside of their car. Fast food from the last gas stop. But they ran out of gas?
It was cleary they were ignoring the signs.
I got on my radio and contacted some people to come out to assist them. It was 10 or so in the morning, so I waited to make sure they were okay. As I was picking their garbage up, they were getting a little bit persnickety with me.
The guys delivering the fuel contacted me, saying they would arrive in about 10 minutes. One of the gals was really persnickety, acting like a real entitled poo-poo head. In that grating New Jersey accent, she wanted me to take her to the next town, saying she needed to be there. And that I owed it to her.
I made the executive decision to leave. As all of them started screaming at me in my rearview mirror, I told the driver who was bringing the fuel what was going on. He helped them instead.
The battery was also dead from them trying to start an automobile with no fuel. Everyone within the radio range of the CB heard about it. It was talked about for hours. The people made it to the next town.”
Rule Number One: Do Not Feed The Wildlife
“One time, I saw a German tourist being yelled at by our guide during a river trip in Costa Rica. Our small party was warned to keep everything inside the boat and not trail our hands in the water because of caymans and crocs.
He said, ‘We must not try to feed the wildlife, especially monkeys. A fed monkey is a dead monkey. If a younger, or weaker one got a treat, it could be attacked and killed by the others.’
Our boat stopped under some trees so we could see troupes of spider monkeys and capuchins up close. This brainless tourist had taken some fruit from the place we’d stopped at for lunch and held out a banana to some monkeys in the overhanging branches. The rest of us yelled at her as the guide smacked the fruit from her hand.
Then he told the guy driving the boat, ‘Move away fast.’
Her hat blew off. It was last seen heading downriver in a cayman’s mouth.”
Hawaii Tourists
“On Oahu’s North Shore at the Pipeline, there were four Marines who thought they were very macho and proceeded to enter the water without surfboard, fins, or anything. Next came three lifeguard rescues. The last one was tossed onto the beach vomiting saltwater.
It is great fun to watch tourists try swimming on the North Shore during big wave days. They seem unable to read a sign that says, ‘Dangerous waves. Swim at your own risk.'”
What Could Go Wrong At A Drive-Through Safari Park?
“We were going through a drive-through safari park in New Jersey. There was an RV in front of us that was literally under attack by baby monkeys. They were on its roof, hanging on its side, pulling off marker lamps and yanking at anything they could grab.
Not sure why, but someone from the inside opened a window on the RV to get a picture. A monkey, and then another, quickly jumped in the window. Seconds later, five people ran out of the RV.
I hate to think of the destruction that went on inside that RV. Fortunately, a truck with on-site animal controllers was already on its way to deal with the monkeys.
I’m sure it was a trip the people with the RV will remember.”
Tamed Bison?
“While in Yellowstone National Park, there were a couple of pre-teens trying to play ‘Slap the bison’.
I approached the parent and said, ‘That’s not very safe.’
They looked me right in the eye and said, ‘They wouldn’t allow them out in public if they weren’t tame.’
When I said, ‘Then have them play over at the other bison because when they get tossed I don’t want them to damage my car.’
For some reason, they took umbrage with that comment. I packed my camera gear up quickly and then left the area. Not seeing any reason to stick around to be a witness. I did flag a Ranger down and warn him.”
His Arm Disappeared
“I was checking the fish activity on a pier into the waters of the inter coastal waterway in Florida one pretty sunny morning. The local fishermen were doing pretty good and tourists from a nearby restaurant joined the crowd on the pier to watch the action.
One guy was throwing a cast net gathering a few mullet for bait. There were the usual assortment of gulls and a couple of pelicans that had gathered on the rails waiting for a late breakfast. Fishermen would occasionally toss chewed-up bait and small trash fish to the rail sitters. One pelican was unusually friendly and would catch tossed bait without even a flip of the wings. The bait net caster would throw an occasional fingerling (small mullet) to the pelican from little more than arm’s length distance. Almost as if they knew each other.
One particularly intrusive out-of-towner and obviously one unfamiliar with the speed and agility of the large jawed bird that loved fish, had a good idea.
The tourist picked up one of the net casters mullet he had just dropped on the deck of the pier and held it out toward the pelican. As he moved toward the pelican in offering the mullet, the large jawed bird suddenly lunged toward the proffered fish.
The fish, the Yankees hand and about half of his forearm to mid-point between wrist and elbow disappeared in the pelicans maw. The tourist was so alarmed he recoiled and fell onto his kiester in front of about 20 fishermen and lookie loos out to see the show. The pelican, interested only in the mullet just as quickly released the non-fish tasting visitor and resumed watch for the next offering from the net caster.
The visitor from up north somewhere made a quick exit from the pier to the enthusiastic applause of the peanut gallery, including what appeared to be his wife, all of whom had witnessed the feeding frenzy by the feathered jaw chopper and the awkward retreat of the mistaken hors d’ oeuvres.”
