Weddings can be glorious events. However, they can also be hyper stressful, chaotic messes. These weddings are the latter. Content has been edited for clarity.
The Rebellion
“Over thirty years ago, I was invited to a Thai high society (hi-so) wedding of a student named Suthida. Her family was both wealthy and powerful. Her mother was gorgeous, her father was handsome, and her brother got the best physical characteristics from both.
But Suthida, well, people asked if she had been switched at birth (she hadn’t, the parents had tests done several times). Her nickname was ‘Uan,’ which means ‘big’ – and she was, no matter what she did about it.
However, her close friends gave her a different nickname, ‘Su,’ which means ‘persevere’ and ‘don’t give up.’
She was bright, intelligent, enthusiastic, motivated, and witty. Unless she was around her family who treated her badly.
As many wealthy, powerful families did then, her parents agreed with another wealthy, powerful family that their children should marry and that was that. She invited our class to her HUGE wedding. Because of the families involved and because these events were/still are to show wealth, power, and connections, it was at a 5-star hotel, and traffic was blocked for miles. The jewels and gold in the room could have covered the national debt.
The first ‘you can’t be serious’ moment was we were invited. The second was we were seated at a choice table near the stage and cake table. The third was Su’s mother wearing a western-style, mermaid wedding dress. She was stunning, but wasn’t it her daughter’s wedding?
The fourth ‘you can’t be serious’ moment was when Su’s brother was given the microphone to announce the couple, but talked for almost 15 minutes about a new business he was starting. The MC (Thai weddings have MC’s) wrestled the microphone away and ‘invited’ the bride and groom to the stage.
When Su and her groom moved towards the stage, many gasped, for Su had defied her mother and changed into a dress of her choosing– a 1950s pink and grey satin dress with hot pink heels. She rocked! The groom, who was better looking than Su’s brother, then did something that melted every woman’s heart (except his mother-in-law’s): as they reached the stairs to the stage, he twirled Su and then carried her in his arms up the stairs and to the speechless MC and her parents.
The usual thing is various powerful people are also invited on stage and they give speeches while the couple stands frozen beside them. Not this time. Su and her groom had created a mini-play about their first meeting; guests were laughing so hard, they were crying. Thai’s love pomp and circumstance, but they adore humor.
The fifth ‘you can’t be serious’ moment was when Su’s parents realized tradition was being tossed out and grappled for the microphone so their powerful friends could speak. However, when they did speak, they focused on what they had just enjoyed, infuriating Su’s parents.
The last ‘you can’t be serious’ was when Su’s mother pulled her behind the cake table and berated her for ruining the wedding and said the marriage would never last.
But it did.”
Never Trust An MIL
“My best friend’s wedding would qualify as a ‘you can’t be serious’ moment. You’ve heard stories about nightmare mothers-in-law, no doubt. It’s awful when the wedding hasn’t even taken place and she assumes her role straight from the start. Let’s call the mother-in-law, ‘Tina.’
The bride’s colors were navy blue and white. She was very specific about how the decorations would look at both the church and the reception hall. However, she was a bit more liberal with the color scheme for the mothers (hers and her future mother-in-law’s). They were allowed to wear any shade of blue they wished. I actually liked the idea. The mothers would be in their ‘pops’ of blue, thus allowing them to share the spotlight with the bride, in their own way.
The next morning, we all arrived at the church in our coordinating, navy blue bridesmaid dresses. The groom, his best man and his groomsmen wore coordinating, navy blue neck ties and cummerbunds. The flower girls were in white with navy blue accents throughout their dresses. Navy blue adorned the pews and various places throughout the church. The bride’s mother wore a lovely powder blue dress (embracing the bride’s request that the ‘mothers’ wear whatever shade of blue they wished). Then, there was Tina, who entered the church wearing a bright pink, chiffon, floor-length ball gown. She looked like a big, bottle of Pepto Bismol!
‘You can’t be serious…’
You could hear the entire wedding party gasp. Not only was she wearing the wrong color, but she looked as if she was trying for prom queen! The dress was a nightmare! Initially, we tried to be understanding. Some of us thought that maybe she hadn’t been able to find a blue dress she liked. Others of us thought, perhaps she just couldn’t afford a new dress and maybe this was her ‘go to’ dress for all formal events. We found out at the reception that none of these ideas were true.
The pink was on purpose. As soon as the bride had given Tina her request, she went to purchase the dress, specifically looking for ‘large and pink’ (according to her son, my bestie’s husband). She spent the entire night flouncing around the dance floor just so she could be seen. She went on and on about how much she loved her dress and thought it was the perfect color to wear to her new daughter-in-law’s wedding. It was truly a slap to the bride and her wishes on what was supposed to be her special day.
This was certainly a wake-up-call to my bestie. Their relationship got off to a bad start and has never improved. Thankfully, she didn’t raise her son otherwise. I find it highly unlikely that they would have gotten married at all.”
They Forgot To Arrive
“About five years ago, I performed a wedding ceremony for a very sweet young couple. The venue was a local park and the plan was to have the ceremony by a wooded area near a picnic shelter with a reception there afterwards. A low budget wedding, but hey, nothing wrong with that. It was a beautiful place and the flowers and decorations looked tastefully done.
So far, so good.
The ceremony was to begin at 1pm, so I arrived a little after twelve to make sure everything was ready to go. I was standing around chatting with a few guests and I had been observing the bride’s and groom’s mothers working around the tables and getting things ready for the reception. I noticed they were dressed very casually for the wedding with both of them wearing blue jeans and t-shirts. I wasn’t alarmed because there were several people in jeans, although most of the 40 or so guests were dressed a little nicer with numerous men in khaki pants and dress shirts and I saw at least a few women in dresses.
Fashion has been all over the place at weddings for a number of years now.
What did alarm me, however, was when I heard the bride’s mother say to the groom’s mother, ‘Well, we really ought to head to the house and get dressed for the wedding.’
This was at 12:45 with a planned wedding to begin at 1. This was my ‘you can’t be serious’ moment. My alarm increased when I saw there was not a single wedding party member anywhere in sight.
At 1:05, no one appeared to notice. By 1:30, people were coming up to me and asking me if there was something wrong. A couple of men joked about the groom getting cold feet. I told them I had no idea.
Around 1:45, the bride’s father arrived looking harried and tying his tie as he emerged from his car. After asking him if a wedding was going to take place today, he sort of shrugged and said, ‘I think so.’
By around 2:00, the guests had dwindled to fifteen or so, and they seemed contented with drinking a few brewskis and chatting among themselves. The other guests had given up and left. I took aside the photographer, who was a family friend and was actually just a guy with a digital camera, not a professional, and asked him to do me favor. I gave him my cell number and asked him to call me if the bride and groom wanted to get married today. He looked apologetic and said that he would.
I then headed to the house.
At 3:30, the photographer called and told me the bridal party were all there and wanted me to come and perform the ceremony. I ambled back to the park, and we had the ceremony. The handful of guests who remained afterwards ate heartily, drank merrily, and celebrated with the happy couple. No explanation was ever given for the wedding starting over two and a half hours late.
The bride and groom still keep in touch with my wife and me, and they appear to be deliriously happy together.”
‘A Bit Surreal’
“My husband’s best man, M, was dating a girl, K, who had formerly been a friend of mine. Our friendship had gone sour when I got engaged. She had met M a scant week before I met my husband. She was angry and jealous that I had gotten engaged and she hadn’t. I didn’t catch on at first because I would never have thought she would, or could, be jealous of me. We were best friends. But K grew increasingly nasty to me as the wedding clock ticked down and she managed to poison the rest of our group of girlfriends against me as well. None of them had spoken to me in months. It was very hurtful and a bit surreal. Apparently, they hated me for being happy.
My husband and I disagreed about inviting K to the wedding. I didn’t want her there; he insisted that we had to invite her. I grudgingly conceded that we would invite her because she was M’s girlfriend and I didn’t want to hurt M’s feelings. I just hoped she had the common sense to not embarrass herself or M at the wedding.
K showed up at my wedding wearing a white floor-length sheath dress, looking beautiful, slender, stylish, elegant, and smug as anything. She looked more like the bride than I did, which was her goal. I couldn’t do anything about it and I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing how angry and hurt I was. A few friends of mine offered to spill pasta sauce on K and I was tempted to let them do it, but I said no. It turns out that ignoring her was the best choice. She had a terribly boring time at my wedding, sitting there among strangers, getting disapproving looks from everyone.
That was a long time ago, even if the memory is still quite clear in my mind. In the end, the whole incident has become just another story — one with two takeaways. Don’t invite people that hate you to your wedding and don’t outshine the bride.”
Best Man MVP
“I used to work at a fine dining establishment, that would house receptions. The location was a 40-year-old, hole-in-the-wall and hard-oak bar, with the upstairs dedicated to events.
We had all kinds of slightly off-kilter receptions; one where only the groom’s mother spoke English. Phenomenal tippers, and the couple was very happy. Though just trying to get people their assorted drinks was slightly difficult (they ended up just pointing to our drinks and our one mixer).
Another off kilter wedding reception was the ‘southern chic’ reception, where the wedding planner turns out to be more ‘bridezilla’ than the bride. She had been misinformed about many things for our venue and we had to listen to her drain on and on about our ineptitude. If she had come to see us beforehand, she’d’ve found out that we could barely host 100 people in the upstairs. She insisted on putting out all the decorations herself. We tried hard not to laugh at her as everything she had brought was Walmart’s Mainstay Mason Jar Wedding Decoration. The reception was packed and the pianist/MC had to cut the music because they wanted to start ho-downing on the second story of an over 150-year old building. The bride and groom sent each of us servers with plates of homemade BBQ.
Probably the most ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ wedding reception was the cold-footed groom, whose entire family was obviously unsure about the marriage. The groom’s mother showed up early to decorate, got absolutely plastered, and left us to figure out her decorations ourselves. The tables ended up to where his side of the family was completely away from the other guests. The tension between the heads of the houses was palpable. The groom ate nothing put in front of him and repeatedly ran off to the bathroom. We ended up posting someone near the back to ensure that if he did end up getting ill, we would be ready for it.
It wasn’t until the Best Man pulled off a stand-up routine for his speech, that the tension died down. He apparently was friends with both the bride and groom, and roasted various revelers, uniting the houses in a comradery of ‘we all do dumb things.’ He ended with a speech by laying down a statement of something like, ‘Listen, my friends are crazy in love…they’re not crazy about each other, they’ve already lived and loved each other long enough to get out of the Honeymoon phase and are absolutely dedicated to each other. No, they’re crazy in love with you, their families and want your support, not your money. So loosen your ties, petticoats and girdles and live a little! Drink with me one more time: to the bride and groom!’
MVP Best Man. They all ended up having a wonderful time. We didn’t even mind that the cake ceremony ended up as a minute long food-fight.
Weddings, y’all…crazy, tense, and thoroughly delightful (on most occasions).”
How Did They Get The Video?
“About 30 years ago I was the ‘plus one’ on a wedding invitation. The guests were all seated. The couple was at the altar and the minister was working his way through the ceremony. At the point where he said, ‘If any person present knows of any legal impediment why this couple should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace,’ the bride spoke up. She asked the minister if she could address the congregation, he replied that was unusual, but she had every right.
She turns to the guests and starts what I can only describe as a ‘best man’s speech’ or the ‘bride’s fathers speech’ at the reception. She thanked various aunts and cousins for the flowers, dress, etc., relatives that had flown in from Australia, and so on. It was all a bit awkward and uncomfortable, not to mention odd.
Finally, she turned to her chief bridesmaid and groom and said, ‘Lastly, I would like to thank my chief bridesmaid and groom…’ both of whom smiled, ‘for sleeping together last weekend after his stag night and my hen night. And for those that don’t believe it, here’s the video tape.’
She marched out of the church, handing the tape to the groom’s mother.”
