Going on a first date can be awkward. Getting to know someone for the first time is always a risk, because they can sometimes turn out to be wilder than anyone ever thought. Just ask these people.
People on Reddit share their worst dinner date disaster. Content has been edited for clarity.
Not The Conversation He Wanted
“Chatted online with this girl for about two weeks. Every conversation went well and eventually, I got her number. Late one evening after a stressful workday, she talks me into driving an hour to come to get coffee with her. She spends the next hour and a half non-stop talking about her ex, and how she has to see him at the bank and all this personal upset ex-girlfriend stuff.
She cuts me off anytime I try to speak or change the subject right back to him. A day later I get a text about how I didn’t do any talking and I was too boring to be anything more than just friends with. She got irate when I pointed out she would not allow me to speak and only wanted to talk about her ex-boyfriend and that we have never once had a slow or boring conversation before meeting up.”
Someone Saw The Signs First
“Went on a date with an Australian who had just moved here two weeks before, so knows no one. Went on the first date to a pub, completely fine. She was a bit of a force of nature, spoke a mile a minute, but we got on. The second date went to a really budget pub at her request because she has only just got a job so hasn’t been paid. Then she wanted to see some live music so I took her to this really cool live music pub about 30 minutes away. We got there the band was cool, but after she spoke to/annoyed everyone there, to the point that one of the girlfriends of the band asked me if I was ‘seeing the red flags yet.’ So I tried to just move her back to near where we both live (we didn’t live far from each other), but on the way back home she said we should go to this big Aussie/kiwi hang out bar/club – because she wanted a drink.
We get there and it’s closed, but a few people say we should join them for drinks. I slightly talk her out of it and she’s like ‘yeah fine because I need to pee,’ so I take her around the corner stand in front of her so she can pee with a degree of privacy.
But then during her pee, I hear something splat and hit the ground and she’s like ‘Oh did I just poop? Nah, don’t think so.’
I turn around and behind her see a big splat of diarrhea like it was a fluorescent color that shouldn’t have come out of a person, but it just seemed to have fallen out of her. So she’s like ‘Uh what do I do? Oh, wait I have the plastic wrap from the CD I just bought from the band.’
So wipes herself with that, which isn’t very absorbent, more smeary so I just quickly offer to call her a cab. But she declines and then is telling me we should go find those people to go drink again. I swiftly say no and so she kisses me and walks off.
What interests me is she very easily might have gone back to find those two guys and if she did they were probably in for a nasty smeared surprise if they were to get ‘into it.'”
Many Questions Unanswered
“Went on a last-minute date with a guy I had recently met. I got to the diner and sat down and saw he had a sizable, pretty new gash on his forehead (it was still gooey). Asked him what the heck happened and if he was ok and he told me he didn’t know what I was talking about. Okay weird.
He then goes on to tell me that he had just gotten out of a serious relationship with an older woman and started to tell me what happened. Apparently, the woman slept with her son’s best friend, who was fifteen. Okay, so you were dating a child predator.
I told him it seems like he has a lot going on and I was leaving. Left a five and got the heck out of there. I still wonder what happened to his head.”
They Went Too Far
“I matched with this super cute girl on Tinder. We messaged back and forth for a few days. Didn’t see any red flags, we just liked the same things, and seemed like we clicked very well. So we decided to meet up at a restaurant for our first date. She told me to walk in and look for a women in a red dress. To give you some context, I don’t really do this very often so I was pretty nervous once I pulled up. I double-checked everything: Hair? Check. Nothing in my teeth? Check. Protection? Check.
So I get down and walk into the restaurant and I started looking for her. The hostess offered to seat me somewhere but I declined and said with a smirk, ‘My date is waiting for me it’s okay.’
So I continued and walked in looking for her. I couldn’t seem to find her, but as soon as I turned a corner I saw a table full of my boys laughing their butts off and recording my reaction to the moment I realized I have been catfished and been flirting with the boys for the past week.
I’m traumatized now.”
A Bit Over The Top
“Met at a Starbucks. She told me she was vegan and that she was cool that I’m not. I order a coffee with cream in it and she screams at the top of her lungs, in the crowded Starbucks, that I’m a cow murderer. I just paid for my stuff and left.
Another time I met a girl from tinder and we saw each other a few times. She had an ex that she still talked to, but hasn’t had any feelings for in a few years. So I go to her apartment and this place is like a shrine to him. Pictures of him on every wall. And it wasn’t just from when they were together and she never took them down. She just moved to this place a month prior so she recently decorated her apartment with his face. Really creeped me out and felt like I was going to be some sort of sacrifice to get him back.”
What Was Going On?
“Got talking to this (at the time) friend of a friend who seemed like a down to Earth, completely normal girl (so I thought). Witty exchanges, flirting, etc. We agreed to meet up for a drink.
Turn up quite early at the arranged bar about 8:30 PM, and this girl is already so out of it, she tried to stand up for a hug and fell over.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she’d been going through a rough time or something, maybe she hadn’t drank in a while or was nervous and got trashed, who knows. So I ordered her water, got myself a bottle, and sat down.
The girl proceeded to push the glass of water on the floor and grabs my bottle, insisting, ‘I’m sober as heck, water is for wimps.’
At this point, there were some seriously strange looks but this bit takes the idiot cake.
This old hag type woman at the bar keeps on eyeballing me. Not even nearly subtle. As in, stood in the middle of the floor, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. So anyway, I go to grab a drink for myself, and next thing, I feel hands in my hair (I hate people freaking touching my hair).
Given that I’m six-foot-five, I’m expecting a guy to be doing it, complete with a ‘Don’t touch my hair,’ ‘Oh bro chill out,’ exchange.
Instead, this disgusting witch has stood on the barstool to touch and play with my hair. So, against better judgment, I thought, ‘What the heck are you doing,’ was my best choice of words, and this whole thing erupts into a huge argument while I’m waiting for my drink.
Eventually, I managed to get my drink and go back to the table and this girl is now attempting to take her jacket off, gets her hammered arm caught, and headbutts the table knocking the contents everywhere.
Stands up, laughs it off, and then ‘We’ll go back to yours this place is trash.’
Girl throws up all over herself and passes out. I put her in a taxi and made sure she got home alright, text her that I didn’t think it was a good idea to bother a second time but I hope she’s alright.
Wake up the next afternoon, 13 missed calls, numerous messages about how much of an awful person I was for ‘making her friend at the bar mad and not going home with her.'”
An Unexpected Guest
“Met a girl, let’s call her ‘Sonya.’ We get dinner at a restaurant near her house and then drink and hang out at her place after. During the night, Sonya somewhat casually mentions she has a guy that stalks her, and I’m just not sure what to make of this and pretty much don’t give it another thought.
After dinner, we go to Sonya’s house. We drink, she plays the guitar and sings a song and we stay up late. I end up drinking too much to drive home, so I stay on her couch and we decide we’ll get breakfast in the morning before I go to work. Around 6:00 am, we get ready to leave for breakfast. She mentions her stalker texted her saying he’d be there in five minutes, so it’s good we’re leaving now. This all seems odd and unbelievable to me, I never heard of a stalker announcing themselves and especially doing so, so early? But whatever let’s go eat, I’m tired and hungover anyhow.
Sonya’s house is near campus, and my car is parallel parked on one of the many one-way streets. As I’m getting ready to pull my car out, this minivan pulls up next to me trapping me in.
He rolls down his window and yells ‘But I said I loved you!’
I’m just like, ‘What is happening?’
So then after a few seconds, I don’t remember any more of their dialog, he pulls forward and heads down the street. Sonya is in my car and just apologizing, saying she used to date him and they weren’t that serious, and is super embarrassed. So I try to give her the benefit of the doubt.
He eventually turns left and I need to go the same way he went, but I decide I’m getting out of here and I turn right instead. As I do so, I look in my rearview mirror and this guy does a u-turn and is now following me. I can’t believe this is actually happening, so then I decide to pull into a grocery parking lot and drive through it. Some reason I feel like this will deter him from following me and I want to confirm he can’t possibly be following me. It doesn’t work. He follows my exact route.
I pull out of the grocery parking lot and eventually approach a red light. He pulls up next to my passenger side yelling at her to roll her window down and she refuses. I decide I’ll do a super aggressive illegal u-turn at this red light to get away. He does the same maneuver and continues to follow me.
He then starts to rev his engine and accelerate as if he’s going to run into my car and slams his breaks right before doing so. I wouldn’t have guessed it out of context, but in this situation, this is a pretty intimidating move. He does this move repeatedly as we speed through side streets approaching downtown Columbus. At this point, I ask Sonya if he’s dangerous or could have a weapon. Sonya isn’t sure.
Sonya calls the police to tell them of our situation. They tell us to continue driving downtown as the police station is pretty close to us.
I thought I could evade him or get cars in between us but it was impossible with such little traffic during the early morning.
We continue to the police station and as we pull in, he drives past us.
We wait a few minutes and we decide to then continue on to breakfast. Sonya pays for breakfast but I can’t eat much of anything as my heart is still racing.
After breakfast, she still needed a ride home. I really dreaded the idea of going near her house again, but at this point, the police were also on their way to her house. I reluctantly drop her off and head to work, now fully awake.
It didn’t work out between me and Sonya.”
Who Did She Think It Was?
“I had a friend who took this girl out to dinner for a first date. It was a disaster right from the start, as this girl spent the entire date on her cell phone. Being the nice guy he is, he just decides whatever we’ll get this date done with and never call her again. At one point he gets up to go to the bathroom and on his way back, notices her sweater had fallen off the back of her chair.
He bends down (putting one hand on the table for support) to pick it up and feels a sharp pain run through his hand/arm. He looks up and she had stuck a fork into his hand. While still on the cell phone, simply goes ‘Oh, it’s you,’ and continues her phone conversation.
He found the waiter, paid for his half of the meal, and never looked back.”
In And Out In Under An Hour
“The first guy I met wanted to grab a drink at a bar in LA. I parked my car and while I was walking to the bar, I get a call from the dude. He tells me one minute has passed from the time we had scheduled to meet and that I was late, so he left. I was shocked, and just immediately turned around furious. He was like just kidding, I see you. I turn around and see the bar about 20 feet ahead of me. He’s standing outside, waving at me in a tie-dye tank top, red basketball shorts, a Bubba Gump trucker hat, and bright red/blue Jordans.
I wanted to turn around and go home at that point, but he already saw me. He said I was too dressed up asked me if his attire was appropriate for our date, and I just had no words – had to be a joke. Also, we’re at a nice bar in Beverly Hills…
We sit down and he asks me what I want to drink, and I said anything but rose. So, then the waitress comes and he orders me a rose. I was again shocked, but maybe he misheard me and thought I said any rose. I let it go and didn’t bring it up. He proceeds to tell me that he’s a criminal defense attorney.
After about 15 minutes, he asks if it’s okay if his friend comes by for a quick sec. I just said it didn’t matter as I was planning on leaving soon. He gets the check and goes, ‘Let’s head next door to Wolfgang Puck because he goes there often and his friend is coming there.’
So, we go there and then he proceeds to tell me that his friend is actually one of his clients. He’s a criminal defense attorney.
So I just asked, ‘Is he guilty?’
And he goes, ‘Oh heck yeah.’
So, now I’m nervous, and then in like 5 minutes, his friend arrives with a girl. We do quick intros and the guys go outside to smoke.
The girl and I start talking, and she proceeds to ask me if it’s possible to get an STD because she had slept with that guy in a car before they came here, and AFTER they finished he proceeded to tell her he had herpes. I told her if they didn’t use protection, there’s a good chance she could get it. She was shocked as they didn’t use protection and then told me she was on birth control and was wondering if that would prevent herpes. I told her no, it’ll prevent having a baby, but not herpes. I then told her the guy was a piece of trash.
The guys return, and now the two guys start to harass a couple next to us. Mind you, we’re in Beverly Hills so it’s not uncommon to see an older man with a beautiful young woman. The couple was an older man with a very beautiful, younger blonde woman. The friend proceeded to ask us in a very loud manner, ‘How much do you think he paid for her?’ while the guy I was supposed to be on a date with just kept laughing and laughing.
I was so mortified and told them to be quiet. I guess that triggered the friend, so he started heading towards them to ask them the question directly to their face. I needed to get out of there. The bartender came towards him and told the guy, ‘Hey they’re having a nice time, stop being awful.’
After that, I got up and left immediately.
As I was walking out, the guy I was on a date with mumbled, ‘That’s what I figured, you’d just leave.’
I didn’t even look back. As I walked to my car, I deleted my account. I realized that that had all happened in the matter of an hour.”
