When it comes to getting a parking spot, especially when there are limited spaces, people get feral. They don’t care if you were there first or if what they are doing is wrong, they are getting that spot! However, these folks didn’t let their parking spot thieves get away without paying the price. People dish on the petty revenge they got on entitled parkers. This content has been edited for clarity.
Table of contents
1. Dog Pile
“My apartment complex barely has any parking spots. We get one reserved carport but all the apartments in the complex are either 2-3 bedrooms, meaning there are multiple cars per apartment. You would not get a parking spot after 4:00 p.m. once everyone got back from work.
Luckily, my wife and I both work nights so when it’s time to park after work, it’s about 8:00 a.m., so the majority of people have already left for work. However, there was one particular person who was fond of parking in anyone’s reserved carport late at night. I’m guessing they assumed since the carport wasn’t taken by a certain time, it was free.
They continued to do that to our spot and we’d seen the car in other people’s spots too. We once called the complex and they said, ‘Sorry we can’t do anything, the orientation of the carport kind of prevents it from being towed.’ So much for that.
One morning, my wife was extremely tired after a long shift, and lo and behold, the car was in our spot again. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She took all the dog shit we had accumulated in our little trash can and opened all the little baggies onto the car. There were around 20 piles of shit on the car by the time my wife was done.
Needless to say, she hasn’t parked there since.”
2. First Come, First Serve
“In my city, there is a pub that’s attached to a doughnut shop that serves the best doughnuts in the city. Because it’s attached to a pub, it doesn’t close shop until 9 pm as there is a solid flow of business rolling in. My girlfriend and I got a serious hankering for some snacks one night so we decided to head to the doughnut shop and arrived around 8:30 pm.
There were only three parallel parking spots a little up the street from the place and they were usually full. However, we saw up the street that a spot was free! My girlfriend pulled a little ahead of the car in front of the spot, turned on her indicator, and began backing into the parking spot. Out of nowhere, a little white Vespa driving behind us whipped into the spot.
I rolled down our window and called out to the driver, ‘Excuse me, we were just backing in.’ The driver seemed to be a pretty university student who shrugged her shoulders and called out to me, ‘Sorry, first come first serve!’ while she and her friend shared a good laugh. My girlfriend ended up dropping me off and planned to loop back around to pick me up.
I passed the little white Vespa where the girls were still gathering their things and headed to the shop. As always, the line was super long for doughnuts and since it was the last batch, the doughnuts were slim pickings. The girls are behind me were looking at the five or so different flavors that were left, talking about which ones were best and which they hadn’t had yet.
I heard one of them jokingly mention, ‘Thank god we got a parking spot!’ and they burst out laughing. When I got to the front of the line, I asked for two dozen doughnuts, knowing it would be every last one remaining. The girls behind me didn’t listen to what I ordered, but eyebrows of confusion started to form on their faces and they slowly saw each doughnut loaded into the boxes and their options dwindle.
The driver of the Vespa in desperation asked the baker who was loading them in, ‘What, you’re not even gonna save a few for us though?’
I turned around and said, ‘Sorry, first come first serve.’
She honestly looked like she just simultaneously solved a movie mystery and shit her pants. It’s difficult to put into words but truly was an expression I can never forget. My girlfriend and I had the best doughnuts I ever tasted (and they were enjoyed by the rest of my office the next morning).”
3. Morning Coffee
“About a decade ago, I worked an early morning shift at a fast food restaurant. We opened at 6:00 am, so I had to be at work at 5:00 am. Therefore, I would leave my house at about 4:45 am every morning. My management was pretty relaxed about the opening shift. Clocking in up to 10 minutes late wasn’t really an ordeal, as long as you showed up ready to go.
I came outside at 4:45 to find that a local police officer had pulled someone over and was blocking my driveway. This had happened before during the afternoon and normally I just ask the officer to move forward or back a couple of feet. No sweat. The officer that morning, however, angrily informed me I would have to wait until he was done.
I snapped a picture of his car and texted it to my manager to explain my tardiness. 40 minutes later, the police officer finally moved. I scrambled into the car and headed to work. I got there 15 minutes before we opened. I frantically started to brew tea, and fetch ice, having to condense my 50-minute routine into 15 minutes. I almost forgot to brew coffee.
The opening time came around and the first group of customers came in. It was a group of our local police officers led by the captain. I guess they were about to do a shift change. One of the officers in the group was the one who blocked my driveway.
The Captain ordered coffee and I regretfully informed him there was a five-minute wait for coffee because I got to work extremely late. The Captain asked why so I pulled out my phone and explained that one of his officers blocked my driveway for 45 minutes for a routine traffic stop.
The Captain proceeded to chew out that officer in front of all of his colleagues and exclaimed that nothing short of a life-or-death emergency should block my driveway if it will interfere with him getting his morning coffee. It was never blocked again. And the Captain always got his coffee at 6:00 am without interruption.”
4. Weekend-Long Bender
“I came home from work one Friday night to find someone on our block having a large party. One of the guests decided they were entitled to park in my driveway. Keep in mind, my driveway is a single-car width lined with a retaining wall on both sides and a garage at the end. It would be impossible for a tow truck to pull them out without property damage.
Since someone parked in my spot and with no available street parking, I took it as a cue to park right behind them in my driveway. A few hours went by and the entitled parker was knocking at my door demanding I move my car so she could leave. Seeing as they were demanding, I informed them I had been drinking and would not move my car.
The entitled parker then decided to call the police to get them to force me to move. When the police knocked on my door, I was sure to grab a beer from the fridge before I answered to talk to the officer. I informed him that after I got home, I was unwinding and had been drinking, and was in no shape to drive.
At that point, their hands were tied because they couldn’t tow her car out, I was in no shape to drive, and I was legally parked in my driveway. I ended up telling the entitled parker that since it was a long weekend, I would be on a weekend-long bender and they could come get their car after I went to work on Tuesday.”
5. Ice, Ice Baby
“It was a cold winter day. Eight inches of snow had fallen the night before and the windchill made it feel as if it were in the negatives. I drove an all-wheel drive SUV so I had no issues getting out. My wife on the other hand drove a Prius, which slid with the smallest amount of moisture on the road. My car was down at the time, so we had to take my wife’s car. I spent 45 minutes in the freezing cold shoveling that car out so we could get to the store.
We were gone for an hour and when we came back, our neighbor had taken the spot I had shoveled. Our apartment complex doesn’t have assigned parking, but in the winter, it’s understood that if you shovel a spot, it’s yours. So when I saw his car in the spot I had just shoveled, I was pretty pissed.
I went inside and filled two-gallon jugs of water, then went back out and poured them on his windshield. Rinsed and repeated. I must have poured about ten gallons of water on his car. Being how cold it was, it was already freezing by the time I poured the last gallon on. It sat like that overnight.
The next morning, I got to watch as he helplessly tried to scrape all of these layers of ice off his windshield.”
6. Parking Garage
“I was in a mall parking garage on a Saturday once and happened to snag a spot right by the doors. I typically would drive straight to the top floor, park in the back row, and walk, but I got lucky that day. In the middle of my shopping, I got a facetime call from my best friend. She’s from another country so it was late for her and I really wanted to chat. I returned to my car, turned it on to get some AC, and called her back.
In the middle of our conversation, I heard a loud rapping at my window. This old, angry-looking lady was scowling at me, so I rolled my window down a bit and asked her what the issue was.
‘YOU NEED TO LET ME IN MY SPOT!’ She screeched.
‘Sorry, what? Your spot?’ I asked.
‘WHY AREN’T YOU LEAVING?! CAN’T YOU SEE I’VE BEEN WAITING HERE?’ she replied while gesturing toward her huge SUV blocking a line of cars.
‘Sorry, I wasn’t planning on leaving, I’m on a phone call!’ I said as I held up my friend on video and she waved, laughing.
‘YOU SHOULDN’T GET IN YOUR CAR IF YOU AREN’T READY TO LEAVE!’ she replied.
‘Uh, I think I’m allowed to sit in my car. I’m not done shopping yet,’ I said.
‘YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO PARK UP FRONT. I HAVE GRANDKIDS IN MY CAR,’ she yelled.
‘You can always drive upstairs, I’m sure there’s more parking,’ I said.
‘BUT I WANT THIS ONE!’ she screamed like a child
‘No, sorry,’ I said as I rolled my window up and returned to my call.
Then the woman went back into her car and sat there honking incessantly at me. All the cars behind her were pissed because they were stuck. I continued my call cracking up laughing and then moseyed back into the mall when I was ready.”
7. Unspoken Rule
“We were living in Chicago at the time and everyone knew that if you shovel your spot and put anything out to save your spot, it’s yours. It’s an unspoken rule for Chicago. After a really heavy snowstorm, I shoveled my spot right in front of our house after the snow plows came down the street and put two milk crates to hold it while I went to the store.
When I got home, the little paisa next door took my spot. After driving around for an hour pissed off, I found another spot. Instead of going into the house, I grabbed my shovel and buried his car. He came outside to an eight-foot snow mound. Of course, he came and knocked on my door. My girlfriend woke me up and said there was a pissed-off guy at the door. The snow froze very hard overnight.
I went out there and he wanted to know why I did that to his vehicle. I asked him how he knew it was me and he said he saw my car there before. I told him he had no proof it was me and that I was sure that spot was saved so next time he shouldn’t take someone else’s spot after they shoveled it. I then spent the rest of the morning standing outside watching him shovel out his little ford focus.”
8. University Parking
“I used to do this at my university every day. People would park at the end of one-way lanes and just let cars pile up behind them as they sat and waited for someone to come and open up one of the spots. If the one-way lane went away from the college toward the street, cars would pile up in the street and refuse to let people drive by.
After months of that, I would troll cars in the parking lot for petty revenge every day. If someone was holding up a bunch of cars, I would do things like walk three or four spots past my car and once the guy following behind me went too far, I would then walk back to my car. By that point, he wasn’t able to back up because he had a line of cars behind him.
If someone was being an asshole, I would put my stuff in my car, walk back towards the campus, and as soon as they would get pissed and drive past, I would go back to my car to give my spot to someone else. I’d also walk down the wrong aisle on purpose just to avoid people slow-rolling me and making cars sit and wait behind them. The looks of rage on people after they realized I was denying them my spot on purpose were glorious.
I once had a lady who had cars piling up behind her because she spent ten minutes waiting for someone to leave their spot when there were plenty of open spots two cars down. Things like that are what led to my daily petty revenge actions. Holding up four or five cars for any amount of time because you don’t want to park two more spaces down is insane.
If you honked at me because you were waiting for me to be done sending my text or doing whatever I am doing in the 15 seconds before I pulled out of my spot, 100 percent of the time I was going to get out, pretend like I was walking back to the building, and as soon as they sped away, would get back in my car and leave.”
9. Karma
“I pulled into work one day and saw a lady leaving, so I decided to wait and take her parking spot. I sat patiently with my turn signal on. The lady in the spot finally pulled out, but she turned toward me so I couldn’t pull into it quickly. Out of nowhere, another car zipped into the spot I was clearly waiting for. I could see her laughing as she did so. I was really annoyed but found another spot and went inside.
A few minutes later, I was in my store and got called to the return desk for a customer complaint. A lady was pissed we wouldn’t do a return for an item without a receipt. We had a limit of three non-receipt returns in six months and she was past it. She wanted a manager to make an exception.
I got to the desk and lo and behold, guess who it was? The parking spot thief! I put on my best retail smile and politely told her not only no, but hell no. When she started to raise hell, I told her to leave or she’d be banned from the store. She skulked out. My desk associates told me she was notorious for being a ‘return-a-holic’ and that she was being investigated for fraud.”
10. “Roadside Assistance”
“I used to live on a corner lot near where the school bus picked up/dropped off all the kids in the neighborhood. I didn’t mind people parking along the street even if they were blocking my driveway as long as they weren’t there or didn’t balk when I needed to go to work.
Unfortunately, a lot of them felt entitled to park in my yard. It was infuriating. The part by the road was always torn up, muddy, and full of trash they’d toss out while they sat there. I kindly asked several people to stop and that go me nowhere. I finally picked up a bunch of concrete blocks and lined the edge of my yard with them. A few got run over and at least one car got hung up on one before it finally stopped.
The last one to stop was the local utility company’s meter reader who used to pull right up into the middle of my lawn. My wife had asked him not to a few times and the last time, he gave her attitude about how it was a rental and she didn’t own it. At the time, I had just bought a tow truck because I was planning on running a roadside business. I had gotten the truck into decent shape but didn’t yet have tags or insurance for it.
I happened to be home on a weekday when I looked out the window and saw the utility guy’s truck in the middle of my yard again. He’d squeezed between two blocks and pulled in lengthways. I had an idea. I went to the shed up the street where I’d been working on the tow truck and got it. I made a nice long ‘beep beep beep’ and reversed up the street with all the lights flashing while backing up to meter dude’s truck.
He was all the way on the other end of the neighborhood when he saw me. He came running as hard as he could. I got out and started making a show of lowering the boom and such. By the time he got to the truck and dove in, he was so winded he could barely talk. When he did finally manage to gasp out something intelligible, it was through a cracked window.
He lied about having permission and I called him on it, never mentioning that I lived there. I finally ‘let him go’ with a variation on the ‘I’ll get you next time.’ I don’t know where he parked after that but it wasn’t in my yard.”
11. What Goes Around Comes Around
“Two years ago, my roommate and I upgraded to a bigger apartment in the same complex we’d lived in for a year. We rented a small moving truck, packed it, and went to the other side of the complex. Parking sucks here, but there happened to be a decent spot in front of the building. I tried backing the truck into the spot as my roommate was guiding me. I didn’t turn properly the first time and I couldn’t make it in the spot, so my roommate very loudly instructed me to pull forward and try it again.
Meanwhile, a guy pulled up and stopped. I thought he was waiting for me to get out of the way. His windows were down and he was looking out at us, so he obviously knew what was happening. As soon as I pulled out of the spot to try again, he zoomed into the spot, almost hitting my roommate.
He then immediately put his phone against his ear pretending to be on the phone and got out, purposely avoiding eye contact with me and my roommate who was yelling at him. He speed-walked into his apartment. We parked the truck by a curb and moved our stuff in from there, so we had to carry our furniture the long way around the cars.
I don’t personally believe what goes around always comes around, but for this guy, it did. We took a water break after a while and then went outside to finish unloading. When we walked out, we heard someone screaming angrily. Turned out it was the guy who stole our spot. Someone in one of the opposite-facing spots backed into his car.”
12. Handicapped Spot
“My apartment complex repaved the parking lots but hadn’t yet repainted anything except for the parking lines. My downstairs neighbor was disabled and required a handicapped spot that was two spots wide. The complex’s super went ahead and painted out one of the lines to give her a double spot, and put up a temporary sign saying it was for that one tenant.
I was out on my patio one night and saw the neighbor had parked in her double-wide spot. When she was parked there, it was hard to see the sign about it being a temporary handicapped spot in the dark, so if you didn’t already know that, it would just look like someone took up two spots with a shitty parking job. Which is exactly what another neighbor assumed.
As a sign of protest, he parked as close to the woman’s driver’s side door as possible and waltzed out of his car really satisfied with himself. I was about to yell out to him to let him know what the deal was but my handicapped neighbor had just come out to go to the store when she came across it. As the other neighbor was passing her, she just let out a gentle, ‘Excuse me?’
He turned around, registered the wheelchair, looked at both their cars, and then finally saw the sign. He responded with a sheepish apology and then ran as fast as he could to move his car. Fortunately, the painting crews came back after the weekend to finish the job, so it wasn’t a long-running problem for her, but I still chuckle at the memory of him going from proud for having stuck it to some asshole driver to watching his body slump a bit when he realized he was the asshole.”
