Not everyone has a mother-in-law they get along with. Sometimes the relationship starts off mutual but someone’s true colors always tend to show often resulting in a falling out. Here, these people share what made them finally realize why they cannot trust their MIL.
It’s Not Mine I Swear
“When I met my husband’s mother for the first time, I thought I lucked out because I know not everyone gets along with their mother-in-law. She was extremely nice to me and even bragged about me with other family members and her coworkers. After we married, she excitedly kept asking when my husband and I planned on having kids.
In three years time, I was expecting my first child. My MIL was overjoyed, but that’s when I began to notice how obsessive she was. She started showing up at our house unannounced and invited herself in for ‘inspections.’ My MIL kept asking me if I had eaten yet, what did I eat, and asked if I had been taking my prenatal vitamins. Then she would start poking around our pantry and give me lectures about certain things she would find. She believed that only organic food was the way to grow a healthy baby. Any ‘processed foods’ would trigger her.
I thought of telling my husband to talk to her, but I didn’t want to start any unnecessary drama. After all, I knew she was trying to help me. So, I sucked it up for the longest time. Then one day, my MIL showed up unannounced once again. Just the previous night, my husband had friends over. Whenever my husband wants to wind down, he usually pulls out a bottle of Scotch. Well, he accidentally left it on the kitchen counter the night before. He and his buddies pretty much emptied the bottle. If I had seen it before, I would have put it away, but that morning I was feeling lazy and came straight downstairs to relax in front of the television in the living room.
My MIL greeted me and let herself into my house. After sitting back down, I tried to tune her out by getting involved with the TV show that was on. My MIL casually walked into the kitchen, only to see the near empty bottle of booze my husband left on the table.
Needless to say, she completely freaked out on me. She screamed bloody murder and ran back into the living room where I was sitting and started cursing me out. Bad.
‘You are an unfit mother!’ she hollered. ‘How dare you put my grand baby’s life in danger?!’
At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about at that moment. By then, I had lost my patience and asked her to stop raising her voice at me.
‘No!’ She screamed. ‘You know you can’t drink with a baby! What is wrong with you!?’
‘That’s obviously your son’s!’ I shouted back. ‘Do you really think I’m that stupid?!’
But my MIL swore up and down I ‘ruined’ her baby. Frustrated, I told her to get the hell out of my house and not to come back. When my husband came home that evening, I explained what happened and pleaded with him to tell his mother to give me my space.
It took months before I could tolerate being around her. Honestly, the only reason why I interact with her is because I want my son to know his grandma. She still lectures me from time to time about the well being of my child, but I’ve learned to just ignore her because at the end of the day he’s my child.”
Why Can’t We Be Friends
“My husband asked me to have lunch with my MIL because he really wanted us to connect. She has an abrasive attitude and I told my husband that I had little interest in being around her. But I understood how important it was to my husband, so I called my MIL and smiled through my teeth over the phone when I asked her to meet me at the same restaurant my friend worked at.
I sat down in my friend’s section and my MIL showed up soon after. When she sat down, she complained about the traffic on her way there and immediately made a comment about my choice. I laughed off her rudeness and said that she wouldn’t be disappointed when she tried their signature dish.
‘Yeah, okay.’ My MIL scoffed.
Again, I brushed off her rudeness and started asking her how she was doing. Of course my MIL loves to talk about herself. This was before she retired as a teacher, so she was talking a lot about work and her students. Mainly gossip. I then started talking about some casual things like some hobbies I had been dabbling in. Soon the conversation turned pleasant. I was beginning to think that things could actually work out between my MIL and I.
My friend occasionally checked on us, but after a while, the restaurant started to get busy. She had a helper that had been keeping up with our request, but soon she disappeared during all the craziness of the lunch rush. At some point, my MIL’s drink got empty. She became visibly annoyed, but kept talking to me as she waited for a refill. When my friend finally showed up with a pitcher to refill her drink, my MIL smacked her lips and said, ‘About freaking time! You must be new or something. It shouldn’t be this hard to keep a drink filled!’
I was completely stunned. My friend shot me an uncertain glance before apologizing to my MIL. I hadn’t even had the chance to introduce them, but my MIL was making one hell of a first impression.
‘Hey, I’m sorry about the delay. Is there anything I can do to make your experience better?’ My friend asked. At that point, I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to see if my MIL would apologize at least. Instead, she continued to berate my friend. I shot my friend a look that said, ‘I’m sorry,’ before watching her storm off.
Then my MIL started laughing and joking around as if nothing happened. I was so disgusted with her behavior that I ended our lunch date then and there. Later I came back and apologized to my friend.
Let’s just say, my husband stopped trying to make us get along.”
Never Again
“My MIL and I had a mutual relationship, but that went down the drain with one simple phone call.
A couple years back, things got hard for us financially. My husband was laid off from his job that was our primary source of income. While he struggled to find something, I ended up working for a grocery store. It didn’t help that we only had one car. I struggled to balance the time to pick up my kids and work, so I called my MIL and asked her if she was okay with picking my children up from school and watching them until I got home from work.
She said she was delighted to. For the first couple weeks, things were fine. I would get off work, drive straight to her house to get the kids, then come home to dinner made by my husband who spent every hour refreshing job boards for new leads. My MIL didn’t seem to have a problem with picking up my kids. I even started giving her gas money once we were in a predicament to do so.
But one fateful day, I was stocking shelves at work when I got a phone call from my MIL. I found it odd since she was supposed to pick up my kids in the next fifteen minutes. I snuck off to the break room to answer my phone, not realizing the horror that awaited.
My MIL immediately started slurring on the phone. She was laughing and cracking jokes with me as if she didn’t have to pick up my kids soon.
‘You’re supposed to pick up my kids!’ I exclaimed.
That’s when my MIL said, ‘I have them! We are riding in the car and I wanted to let you know that we are having a blast!’
My heart sank. My MIL was driving drunk with my kids in the freaking car. I screamed for her to pull over and left right away. Having no choice, I text my husband to call the police while I kept her on the phone, pleading with her not to hang up. After asking her over and over where she was, I found her a block away from the school parked on the shoulder.
After I got my kids, I yelled at her for what felt like hours. My MIL was arrested for child endangerment and is still serving time for it. Sometimes she calls to apologize and speak to the kids, but my husband won’t let her. Eventually my husband found a remote job and I was able to quit my job at the grocery store so I could be with my kids again.
I realize every day that this could have been so much worse. When my MIL gets out in another five years, she will never be around my children again. I do not care.”
