3D Latte Art Gun
Who wouldn't pay $47.99 to be able to create (admittedly very cute) 3D foam milk animals that will be gone in a matter of minutes when you start drinking?
Electric S'mores Maker
That's right, don't you listen for a second when they tell you it's sacrilegious to make s'mores inside with a bizarre device that appears to be, essentially, a considerably less functional and safe toaster oven. You need this thing.
Pulled Pork Shredder Magic Claws
In addition to the fact that these are very, very practical, your children definitely won't sneak them out of the kitchen and use them as extremely hazardous play weapons.
We're of the opinion that it's ridiculous that eggs aren't cube shaped to begin with. Let's make it so.
Chillz Ice Ball Maker Mold
If your ice isn't spherical, what are you even doing with your life?
Electric Rabbit Corkscrew With Built-In Foil Cutter
Are you tired of never being able to drink your wine because it's trapped beneath an impenetrable foil seal and immovable cork? Well, have we got the product for you!
Ben & Jerry’s Euphori-Lock Ice Cream Pint Combination Lock Protector
No, it's not weird that you can't trust your family/spouse/roommate not to eat your ice cream, nor that you take your ice cream that seriously...
The Instant French Fry Slicer
Slicing potatoes is an incredibly difficult task that absolutely cannot be achieved using any other kitchen tool, especially a knife.
Mini Kegerator Refrigerator & Draft Beer Dispenser
If you wouldn't pay $159.99 to refrigerate and dispense your mini-keg beer, you're short-changing yourself!
The Only Indoor Rotisserie Turkey Fryer
Do yourself a favor and put your inferior turkey-cooking methods to bed. This will be the best $279.95 you've ever spent!
The Authentic Southern Sweet Tea Brewer
That's right, this is completely authentic! It's exactly the way sweet tea is, and has always been made in the South.
Self-Refelling Wine Glass
Okay, we can't even mock this, a self re-filling wine glass is a legitimately excellent idea.
The Monogrammed Barbecue Branding Iron
Excellent idea, cowboy. If you brand your beef, you can catch all those steak-rustlers red-handed when they try to steal it!
Soft Pretzel Factory
And now, we begin a run of several successive devices that allow you to make slightly inferior versions of things you could already buy!
The Authentic Twinkie Maker
Now you don't even need to make the trip to the store to obtain mediocre snack cakes with no nutritional value!
Electric Ice Cream Sandwich Maker
$149.99 is a minimal price to pay in order to be able to make ice cream sandwiches that are not quite as good as what you could find in the frozen aisle or from the ice cream truck!
Automatic Mini Donut Factory
Hostess must be concerned with their market share over this one.
Fiesta Series Taco Toaster
This is an excellent development, because it's been awful all these years not being able to buy hard taco shells at the store. We haven't been able to find them anywhere!
Automatic Pancake Maker
A device that makes pancakes automatically is just so valuable that you can't even put a price on -- 3,700 BUCKS?! Are you serious? We can't.
Waffle Bowl Maker
This device will revolutionize your waffle... bowl... making. Honestly though, how did you ever make waffle bowls before?
The Taste Enhancing Forks
These forks release aromas that are intended to alter/enhance the taste of food. Sounds... Great?
The Frozen Fruit Soft Serve Processor
If there's one thing we've learned from years in the kitchen, it's that making ice cream with fresh ingredients (especially fruit) is really, really easy and if you just buy this gadget, it will definitely go smoothly.
What? No, this isn't just a modified Erlenmeyer flask. It's much more sophisticated! Just pay the $249 for it. it's worth it, we promise.
The Authentic Languiole Champagne Sabre
Yes, it actually slices the ring and cork off of the top of a champagne bottle. No, we can't see any reason why that might go wrong if you try to do it at home.
The 10-Egg Steamer
What does it sound like it does? You can steam up to ten eggs at once. Why would you need to steam ten eggs at once? Who even steams eggs to begin with? Don't trouble yourself with petty questions, just step your steam game up.
Sunnyside Egg Shaper
Heh, it's funny because, see, it's a sunny-side up egg and the yolk is like the sun and the whites are th... never mind.
Rösle Cherry Pitter
This thing will have you pitting cherries like you've never pitted before. You don't believe us? Look, there's an umlaut in the brand's name! If you can't trust an umlaut, who can you trust? Trust the umlaut.
Caramel & Candy Apple Maker
How dare you, this is absolutely not a poorly made electric fondue pot affixed to some topping compartments!
Handpresso Outdoor Espresso Set
We're not sure about you, but this has been an absolute godsend to people like us, who are often outside when struck by a sudden urge to drink some espresso. Now, it's right there for us!
Brookstone Grill Alert Talking Remote Meat Thermometer
The thermometer is somewhat offended that people only seem to want to talk about the temperature of meat with it. It's a sensitive, introspective gadget with a wealth of interesting things to say!
The Marshall Amp Fridge
For all the many times you've said to yourself: "I wish I had a fridge that looks like a guitar amp."
Zojirushi Home Bakery Mini BB-HAC10 Breadmaker
It makes mini-bread! Mini-bread is so cool, regular bread is totally lame right now.