Kids may think they are smart, but parents are always smarter!
“My 3 year old sneaks ‘candy’ from the freezer when I’m not looking. They’re actually frozen peas. She actually eats them and I think a big part of the fun for her is that we ‘don’t know’ about it. So, now we call them green candy and wonder loudly where they all go. I believe some kind of freezer mouse is being blamed at the moment” (source).
Sneaking Cookies and Cream
“My 6 year old niece thinks she can get away with sneaking a cookies and cream chocolate bar into our shopping basket by holding it under a bag of sour Sweet tarts, which she says are for my brother. I usually say ‘No, we have enough candy in the house’ and have her put both back, or buy both. My almost 4 year old nephew thinks I don’t know that he asks to borrow my stuffed Xenomorph because it scares his sister. He tells me his T-rex is having a family reunion” (source)
“I have little girls who steal frozen grapes from the freezer. The 4 year old leans against the door and blocks my view while the little one opens and reaches in. The hilarious thing is she only ever grabs one at a time so they giggle and share their single grape and then do the whole thing over again”(source).
“Eating their dinner. The youngest thinks she’s so slick when she shuffles her food around the plate to create empty spots. Or putting an empty fork in her mouth. A child’s thought process is is so bizarre” (source).
“Not always brushing his teeth. He will go into the bathroom, turn the water on, EVEN OPEN AND CLOSE THE MEDICINE CABINET, but won’t brush his teeth. I know, because his toothbrush is dry as a bone, so he’s not quite that smart about it. My husband and I do he ‘eww, what stinks?’ routine within his earshot and he usually goes and brushes them before we leave, thinking we still don’t know”(source).
Santa and the Tooth Fairy
“My kid asked me if Santa was real a few years ago. I started in with the ‘depends what you mean by real’ crap and he backpedaled immediately. I could tell he was testing the waters, and it seemed at the time that he was afraid of what this knowledge might do to important things like, say, thepresent count. In any case, he still sells the Santa thing along with other stuff. For example, he lost a tooth in Canada (we are from the United States) and got a little clearer than he intended regarding his understanding of how the tooth fairy works. He was curious both about the relative value of teeth vis a vis the cusp count (how much is a molar vs a bicuspid), and – and this was killing me – the exchange rate between American and Canadian dollars. When I asked him why he thought I had any particular knowledge in regards to these tooth-fairy matters, he sort of balked and backed out of the conversation. FYI – the tooth fairy leaves $1 for an incisor or a canine. She drops 2 bucks on a bicuspid. But she springs for $5 for a molar. In Canada, she drops the five note American, and then leaves a $1 Canadian coin as well” (source).
Parents Thought It Was Funny
“I used to think I was getting away with bad words. When I heard a bad word, I just knew it was bad so I never repeated it near anyone. But at home I would go to my room, shut the door, and start yelling the bad words in weird voices and then I’d walk out like nothing happened. My parents always heard but they thought it was so funny they never told me sh–t” (source).
“Kid thinks she’s so smooth”
“My kid always sneaks out of her room to ‘say goodnight to you one more time, mom!’ Child please, I know you were trying to sneak your DS back to your room. Kid thinks she’s so smooth” (source).
Did She Make It To The Car Okay?
“When my son was in high school, he was dating this train-wreck of a girl that my husband and I hated. He would sneak out of the house late at night, go pick her up at her house, and sneak her in through his bedroom window. He didn’t realize that I had figured it out when I found the kitchen chair in his room, and her footprints on the side of the house. One morning, he had decided to ‘leave early’ for school. I heard him banging around in the kitchen, so I go out to investigate. He’s standing there all nervous, I see her run from the back of the house and hide next to his car. So I just nonchalantly said, ‘I guess your girlriend made out to the car ok! Drive safely and have a good day’ (source).
“I don’t know where he gets his slyness from”
“If my two-year-old son knows he is holding something he shouldn’t and I call his name he will immediately throw it as far away (4 feet) from himself and look at me innocently. I don’t know where he gets his slyness from” (source).
“Let Him Think He’s Hiding It Well”
“My friend’s teenage son thinks he’s ‘getting away’ with being secretly gay. They have a good relationship and are open about most things, but for whatever reason he’s chosen not to tell his parents about his sexuality yet and obviously thinks they don’t know. Sorry, kiddo – your mum found your porn almost a year ago, and saw you kissing your boyfriend. She knows. She told me that it’s not an issue in the slightest for her or for her husband, but he’s obviously decided not to tell them for a reason and they’ve chosen to respect that. When he’s ready to tell them he will, is their general stance on it. Until then, they’re going to let him keep thinking he’s hiding it well” (source).
Slyest Mom Around
“My 17 year old is freaking out right now because she thinks the car was stolen. It wasn’t stolen. She told me she was going to be at a girlfriend’s house overnight, but this morning I spotted the car outside her boyfriend’s house. I took it. She’s called every tow yard in the county, and has been walking all over town looking for it. I am waiting for her to finally get home. The car is mine, not hers. She’s allowed to be pretty much near anywhere she wants, provided she lets me know where that is. After a couple of hours, she was exhausted after walking around all day being extremely stressed. Asked her again where she was last night and she doubled down in defending herself. Later, I caved and told her I took the car and it was in our driveway. Several minutes of confusion on her part followed, and then the light bulb went on” (source).
Getting Out Of Bed
“Getting out of bed and playing with her toys during nap time. She thinks she’s getting away with something, I’ll let her keep thinking it because she keeps it quiet and I get an hour of free time whether she sleeps or not” (source).
Excellent Sneak Skills?
“When I was a kid and my parents were watching TV, I’d grab a chair and slowly dragged it through the room while hiding myself behind the chair, the goal being to make it to the other side of the room without my parents noticing me. Back then I really thought my sneak skills were excellent but looking back now sadly I know better” (source).
Sneaking Out For Videogames
“During the weekends, mainly Friday evenings, they think we don’t know that when my wife and I go to bed they sneak back into the living room and play video games, when one falls asleep the other keeps playing till he can’t stay up anymore, makes the other get up and go to their respective rooms. I know because I stay up for about an hour reading and can see the sliver of light underneath the door when they get up and go to the living room. We don’t care because, hey, it’s Friday night, they don’t make a mess, stay quite and turn everything off” (source).
“I take advantage of it.. and still get on to her”
“My daughter is little over a year old now. For a couple months, she tries to do two things to stay out of trouble. She will immediately bolt if we call her name or come near when she knows she is doing something wrong. Because it makes it OK and she can totally outrun Daddy. Or, when she does get in trouble she immediately goes in for a kiss. She’s very stingy with kisses and hugs, only gives out cuddles when she’s tired, sick, or not thinking straight. But, she always does when she gets in trouble. It’s like she’s saying, what was that Daddy? I’m not in trouble right? I’m just your little angel and want to give you a quick kiss. I take advantage of it… And still get on to her” (source).