There Are No McWords
“When I was about seven years old my family and I were driving home from a beach vacation and decided to stop at McDonald’s for lunch.
As we were fixing our drinks and starting to sit down, my brother turns my attention to an old man, I’m talking senior citizen, who was sitting across from us. The oldster had a gigantic lump in the side of his pants, obviously a fake object, but it looked ridiculous and we couldn’t stop staring and laughing to ourselves. We proceed to tell our parents about it as quietly as we can without busting out laughing, and then the guy starts stroking it! Mind you, I am an innocent seven-year-old girl, so my family leaves immediately, deciding to eat on the road instead, concluding that he was a total creep.
Five minutes pass by, driving down the highway, and my family decides to fill up on gas before we take off for the rest of the trip. As they go in to pay for the gas my brother and I are sitting in the car just looking out the window. Suddenly, a car pulls up right next to us and holds a huge sign in the window. ’14 inches LONG AND HARD’.
IT WAS THE OLD MAN. He followed us from the McDonalds!! Won’t ever forget that day.”
What You See In 10 Years…
I worked at McDonald’s for about ten years, so I saw some stuff.
- Two middle-aged, tough-looking biker dudes screaming in the lobby that they’ll fight every one of the employees, pausing occasionally to sloppily make out. This was around dinner rush on a weekend, so there were lots of families with little kids around.
- An enormous man, probably about 6’8″ and 300 lbs, screaming at me that his burger was rancid and that we were trying to poison him. He threw it across the counter at me and said he was going to come back with a hammer and kill me.
- An employee dropping tongs into a vat, then calmly reaching into it with his bare hand to retrieve them. It took him a moment to register that he had just put his hand into 450° oil. It wasn’t pretty.
- A moth flying into an employee’s ear and getting stuck there. I’ve never seen someone convulse and panic like that. He had to go to the hospital to get it extracted with tweezers.
- Multiple known streetwalkers coming in with clients and clearly being paid in McDonald’s food.
- An obviously mentally ill trans person who carried a basketball under their shirt as if they were pregnant. Eventually, the basketball was born and was thereafter wheeled around in a stroller.
- A woman collecting all the trash around the parking lot of the shopping centre we were located in, then dumping it all into the middle of the lobby during lunch, declaring ‘this is what McDonald’s has to offer the world!’
- A grown man throwing a tantrum in the drive-thru because we didn’t give him the right toy in his kid’s Happy Meal. He then proceeded to throw the tray of hotcakes directly into the face of the 16-year-old girl serving him.
A True McDonald’s Employee
“My stepson was working at McDonald’s at the time and one of his co-workers, Jamie, was a little bit… unhinged. Honestly, from the stories he told me, it sounds like the guy had some actual mental problems.
Well, anyway, my stepson was working the counter with this guy, and some woman comes in with her kid. He said the kid looked like he was maybe 7-8 years old and was a proper little crazy kid.
Well, he gives them their food, but the kid doesn’t get the toy he wanted in his happy meal. He throws a major tantrum at the table, having a proper fit until the mother comes over to the counter and asks if they can swap it for the one he wanted. So, my stepson tells her that they don’t have any of that particular toy left, but he can pick one of the others.
So, the mother goes back to the table, and a few seconds later the kid just starts screaming at the top of his voice. Like, full-blown screaming. He actually stands up on his chair and just screeches as loud as he can. The mother’s trying to calm him down, my stepson’s standing there like what… then it happened.
While this was going on, Jamie has gone to the drinks fountain, filled one of the super-size cups, put a lid on it….then just launched it at this kids head. The cup hit the kid square in the face, burst open, and covered him, his mother and most of the restaurant in coke… and then Jamie screamed ‘SHUT THE EFF UP YOU FREAKING LITTLE PRICK.’ As loud as he could, laughed his butt off and just sprinted out of the place.
As I said, genuine mental issues…especially as he turned back up an hour later and didn’t really understand why his boss fired him because ‘it was only a joke.'”
Limited Time Offer: The McMoron
“Oh, this is gonna be fun. These are the worst customers of my three years.
One of my coworkers slipped on some oil and stuck her arm into the fry vat. I’m talking past the elbow into the oil. Immediate chaos. The smell was absolutely horrendous, she was screaming and ripped her arm out of the vat, spraying oil everywhere. Burned half of the rest of the front counter workers, the rest were heaving from the smell. Following was an immediate crapstorm of half the crew throwing up and/or tending to their own burns while the managers go nuts giving her first aid, calling an ambulance, calling her emergency contact, etc.
Let’s just say, amidst all this chaos and the permanent disabling and scarring of my 16-year-old coworker, completing orders wasn’t exactly a priority.
The smell didn’t bug me much, cause I was too sick to smell much of anything. So I went about cleaning up the oil that went everywhere, draining the vats, throwing out food that came in contact with the fried-human-oil, which included the entire bin of fries, and amidst the chaos, I spot her.
The middle-aged lady with the side-cut, blonde ‘let me talk to the manager’ haircut. She’s leaning over the counter, clearly pissed off.
She started yelling at me, she’d ordered a medium fry and she wanted it now. Assuming she might have ordered over the kiosk and missed the initial start of the chaos (although the girl was still hysterical, so it seemed obvious to me), I walked up and explained to her that we had to handle the serious injury of one of my coworkers, and it would take some time to get her order.
This lady replied with this: ‘I don’t care if all of you minimum-wage morons get third-degree burns. I want my fries now.’
Let’s just say she was kicked out of the store (partially by other enraged customers), permanently banned, and was reported to the police.
She didn’t get her fries or a refund.”
The McRiot Police Should Have Been Called
“About ten years ago, when they started the thing where they assemble items fresh for every order, rather than pre-making a supply, the store just hadn’t figured out how to run it efficiently yet. I went in and should have realized something was wrong – about 20 customers standing around waiting for their orders. They cheerfully call me up to the counter to take my order, and I get a receipt with a number on it.
About 10 minutes pass without anyone getting their order, and 10 more people place orders in the meantime. Chaos erupts. The waiting customers began to tell new customers that we had all been waiting over 30 minutes for our food. A guy came in SUPER irate and says his car is currently stuck in the drive-thru, for over 40 minutes, because they aren’t serving anyone. We’re all asking for refunds, physically standing in the way of the counter so new orders can’t be taken until the existing orders are served. The manager is threatening to call the police, customers are calling the police themselves. All the cars in the drive-thru are honking their horns, some guy is out of his car and banging on the window at the front of the queue to get out of the way because he’s late to where he was going.
I eventually walked out hungry, with a refund, after 40 minutes.”
Zero Mcs Given
“A man luring a little girl into the bathroom at a McDonald’s.
The little girl proceeds to scream and run away. A bunch of people walk down the bathroom hallway and start yelling GET THE EFF OUT OF HERE then two men start dragging out this man with his pants down with his hand in pants outside to the police who were luckily there already. Probably one of the worst things I’ve ever witnessed in my life, let alone a McDonald’s.”
“We close at 1 am.
It was around 11 pm right before the dining room closed and I decide to go clean the bathroom. I didn’t see anyone come in so I didn’t call out, ‘Anyone in here?’ I just barged in and proceeded to clean the woman’s bathroom. It was odd though, the sanitary napkin bin had the paper bag missing and all the used pads and tampons were gone. I thought nothing of it, so I replaced the bag and kept about my day. I had to clean the men’s bathroom so I called to John to go in and do a check to make sure it was empty. I stood by the door as he pushed it open and saw a site straight out a Wrong Turn movie. A man about 4’10’ inches and probably 150lbs, holding handfuls of dirty bloody tampons breathing it in like it were salty sea air. I screamed and ran.
John cussed the man out and chased him outside as he carried his tampon/pad goody bags with him.”
Family Friendly McStories
“Ohh buddy I worked there for a year and a half.
- Old man having a heart attack and pooping himself in the stall.
- Someone got shanked on-camera outside while trying to order from the drive-thru on foot while drinking at midnight.
- The manager got away with assaulting 3 female co-workers because he intimidated the victims and the store manager ‘covered’ for him because they were dating.
- The same manager got arrested 2 times in-store for dealing-related charges.
- Dude got splashed with hot oil because he pissed off the fry girl.
- A very clearly traumatized woman coming in, ordering a kids meal, and sobbing in the corner while she ate it.
Personally speaking, I got run down by a coworker in his truck while I was riding my bike to work.”
A Real Case Of The McFlurries
“My friend used to work at McDonald’s. He was 15 at the time, he was taking orders because he was too young to cook. He then started hearing someone saying that there was a mess in the bathroom. Then he heard his name getting called out, being asked to clean up the restroom. Being the young and eager whippersnapper he is and this being his first job, he said yes.
Without skipping a beat, he grabbed the mop and bucket and started making his way to the men’s restroom. Open the bathroom door you can tell it smelled like poo. He turned the corner to see the toilet. The back wall, the sidewalls, and the toilet were covered in poo, like someone put poo in a t-shirt cannon and fired it five times. He was thinking to himself ‘how does this happen? Whose butt did this thing come out of?’
And so he’s there looking at the mess and he took the mop and bucket put it down and walked back to the office and asked, ‘are you really making me clean this?’ and so he got his gloves on and just started to clean it. You know how mops are usually used on the ground? He took that mop and just slathered it all over the wall and toilet. He was literally holding back vomiting, it was the worst experience ever. He went home took a shower still didn’t feel clean for a week.”
McToys Have Really Appreciated Over Time
“I worked at McDonald’s during the Beanie Baby craze in the late ’90s.
We ran out of the lobster beanie and some crazy mom hopped over the counter and punched the cashier right next to me. This was on a Saturday afternoon in a packed restaurant and I never saw so many people go silent that fast. She was arrested and charged with assaulting a minor.”
Typical McDonald’s Shenanigans
“This is my current on-going list of weird things that have happened at my work.
- Local guy pretending to be homeless pooping on the floor or putting his urine bag on tables or counters or walking in wearing no pants or licking his lips at/flirting with underage girls. He ended up getting burned alive when he passed out with a smoke still lit just outside our parking lot, which started a fire.
- Several fights ending in blood.
- Bottles were thrown at staff.
- Car getting attacked by a man with a crowbar.
- Car driving into the building.
- People getting arrested for evading police after fighting.
Typical McDonald’s shenanigans”
A Classic Mcstake In Identity
“Was going through the drive-thru one night on my way home from work. I don’t normally eat McDonalds, but I couldn’t be bothered cooking cause I was so tired. I placed my order, paid for it, girl at the window hands me my order and goes ‘listen, buddy, next time you come through here I’m calling the cops, you’re crazy.’
I’m like what?! I demanded to speak to the manager. The girl refused, and was really rude and told me to move cause I was holding up the line.
I flew out the drive-thru and into the car park, got out and marched inside to see this girl talking to the manager and noticing me. The manager looked to be telling her off.
I go, ‘Are you the manager? Firstly I want to complain about that girl, she accused me of being crazy. Clearly, I’m in a work uniform and-‘ to which the manager is trying to interrupt. I just went ‘let me finish! Clearly, I have just finished work. I’m tired, and I’m in no mood to have accusations made. Secondly, I demand a refund, there is no way I want to eat this now, besides, it’s the wrong order!’ (I always check)
I got my refund and the correct order for free. It turns out someone with the exact same car had started going through the drive-thru and was regularly hitting gutters, scraping the side of the building, etc.
They had a CCTV image of the car, and I pointed out that not only did our plates not match, they were different states…”
Hit And McRun
“I took one of my cousins to McDonalds one Saturday when he was 6 or 7.
Apparently, he was feeling sick (without mentioning it) because when we got there I opened the door for him, he took one step in and vomited all over the floor. I said let’s go and we walked back to my car and drove away.
It was a weird thing to see from our side but it must have looked really strange to the people inside.”
Nothing Good Comes When The Restaurant Grows Silent
“Three summers ago we stopped at a McDonald’s for lunch during work. My work partner and myself ordered and sat in a booth and started eating. I noticed a middle-aged woman come in but she didn’t order and just sat in a booth. Suddenly the restaurant got really quiet, no buzz of different conversations in the background. So I kind of look around and here’s this woman undressing! She got totally nude then sat down and started looking through her purse. My work buddy looked at me and said ‘Is this real life?’ and there was a little bit of a murmur and nervous laughs. A few minutes later a male and female police officers came in with a blanket and covered her up. They looked through her purse and asked her if she had any medication. Then they led her out and they were gone. The manager told everybody he was sorry for the incident and everyone could get a free dessert.”
That’s Not The McDonalds Clown Guys
“I worked at McDonald’s last summer.
Some guy wearing an out-of-date purple McDonald’s uniform and Joker makeup with green hair kept trying to walk into the employee’s area, while not saying a thing. We called the police on him and they made him leave.”
Maybe Don’t Do That At A McDonalds?
“I was at a McDonald’s in the heart of the city and it was extremely busy one afternoon around 4 pm.
There were students and city workers and lots of different types of people inside in line and sitting at the tables and kids running around. Anyway, in the middle of this, a soldier came in dressed in his uniform, carrying flowers and balloons and surprised his mother. He had just come back from somewhere, obviously. The entire restaurant stopped and stared and … nothing. It quickly became extremely awkward. People didn’t clap or say congrats or anything at all. Everyone just stared at this moment almost as if it confused them. I remember looking around and nobody even seemed to be smiling at them.
His mother cried and they hugged and slowly people just started talking again. It was horrible only because it felt so cold, I’ve never seen so many people not react to something clearly heartwarming right in front of them.”
“Worked there as a teenager.
Doing the overnight shift, a full on fight broke out in the parking lot. Shift manager instantly went and locked the doors and called the police. There were about a dozen people out there in what looked like a free for all over God knows what. Full on UFC style fighting. Finally, someone pulled out some sort of bear spray and sprayed it and then all but 3 dispersed. The 3 left included the one that got sprayed. They were pounding on the windows screaming and begging us to let them in. The manager didn’t wanna risk it but passed a ton of water out the window for them until police arrived. Was kinda scary.”
Those Egg McMuffins Though
“I was lining up for breakfast, just a few minutes before the breakfast menu was ending for the morning (10:30 am). They had stopped making new breakfast items, but some were left. When I got to the counter, I was trying to say ‘I want those last two Egg McMuffins there’ but the older lady serving at the counter said, ‘I’ll take your order in just a moment’. She turns her back and throws the items in the trash. I’m trying to call out ‘DON’T THROW THOSE OUT I WANT TO BUY THEM’ – must have said it 5 times, but she chose not to hear me and threw them out anyway.
I now know exactly what the guy in Falling Down was feeling.”