Even the best chefs in the world occasionally mess up a meal or two. These are NOT the best chefs in the world. We scoured Reddit for some of the funniest and most insane kitchen mess ups of all time. From the time the guy burned up his oven with an exploding cake to the guy that tried to make soup with his cell phone, these are some monumental mistakes.
One read through these insane stories and trust us, you will feel a whole better about the mistakes you've made in the kitchen, including that time you mixed up the sugar and the salt. That pales in comparison to the stupidity of these.
Beans Are Explosive In A Few Ways
“One of my favorite stories I’ve ever heard my mom tell: Around the time my parents met, my mom’s roommate was also dating a new guy. For their second date, she was going to cook for him at the apartment. She really liked this guy and wanted to impress him, so she asked around and somehow heard that he loves ‘baked beans cooked in the can.’ That sounds simple! So she buys a couple of cans of beans and puts them in the oven to start cooking just before he shows up.
They are sharing some drinks and hitting it off when there’s a tremendous BANG from the kitchen. No one had told her to open or vent the cans, and the explosion when they ruptured took the door right off the oven. Beans EVERYWHERE.
There was no third date.”
He Gassed Everyone
“Heated oiled pan. Carolina Reaper Peppers.
I did some Chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear defense training where they had a heated pan onto which they dropped tear gas pellets to fill the room with an irritant. The similarities between that and what I just did hit me about the same time the vaporized pepper oils hit my eyeballs, nose and throat.
Opening my room door just gassed the entire corridor, people were coughing in the hallways.
So much for my spicy tacos.”
“I blew up a sundae.
Well, to be specific, I blew up a bottle of fudge. I was making a sundae, with hot fudge and peanuts and miniature M&Ms and all sorts of childish goodies. The fudge was a little solid when removed from the fridge, so I stuck it in the microwave to warm up a bit while I scooped the ice cream and salivated.
Problem: I put it in the nuker upside-down…at twice the heat…and for five times the duration it needed to be in there.
When the microwave beeped, I opened it to discover that I had accidentally created a bomb. The plastic packaging had softened and expanded, and the fudge within had been boiled away to a highly-pressurized, sugary gas. The fudge bottle had become an engorged tumor of unwelcome physics, straining under its barely-contained pressure. It was larger than my own head, sitting uncomfortably in a lake of molten chocolate. It was immediately obvious that any attempt to disturb the fudge bomb would cause it to burst, but I had no idea how to otherwise defuse the thing.
Facing this, I said, ‘Something has gone horribly wrong.’
The gentle motion of my breath, forming and releasing these words, disturbed the bomb just enough for it to detonate, showering me with chocolate and causing some seriously nasty burns.”
Ice Cream IS Mostly Milk, Right?
“My husband texted me to ask what a good substitute for milk would be. I was at work and couldn’t reply in time.
He said he used melted French vanilla bean ice cream…for his hamburger helper. He decided it was gross and didn’t eat it but our roommate tried it and spent a very long time in the bathroom after.”
A Warning To Others
“Many years ago, a friend of mine was showing me around his college campus in Texas. On his dorm floor was a ruined microwave oven and the remnants of a burned plastic sign with microwave instructions and safety tips. I remember how he described it…
‘We get a lot of aggies from Oklahoma who have never really lived away from home for any length of time. Since mommy did all the cooking, washing, cleaning, and finances, these young men come to college on meal plans and think it’s free money. Well, halfway through the year, the money runs out, and they are down to their last dollars. So they go and buy comfort food from the store, usually cans of Chef Boy-ar-dee. They read the label on the side where it says ‘heat for 10 minutes, then serve.’ So they put these cans in the microwave, and set them for 10 minutes. This is usually the result.'”
Caught In The Knick Of Time
“I was maybe 13 or 14, and my brother 10. Mom left us alone for supper. There was leftovers for one of us, and two of those frozen mini pizzas for the other. We both wanted the mini pizzas, but I, as the responsible adult, decided to take the ultimate sacrifice and allow my brother to have them.
I put some canola oil in a pan, put the pizzas in it, and baked them while my leftovers were nuked in the microwave. A short while later, I call my brother up for supper. Something that was left in the oven is really stinking, but that shouldn’t affect the pizzas too much. Probably just something that spilled into the oven.
I put my plate at my spot, and my brother’s pizzas in the middle of the table for him. He refuses to eat them. There is a really weird smell to them. Something acidy. I tell him to stop being a baby and eat the stupid food. He refuses. 10 minutes of arguing later, I decide ‘forget it, we’ll switch.’ I give my brother the leftovers, and happily take the pizzas for myself.
Just as I cut into the first bite, my mother walks in, takes one whiff, and shouts ‘STOP EATING!’ I drop the pizza in stunned disbelief. Mother starts freaking out.
Turns out, my mother kept canola oil directly next to kerosene oil in the cupboard. It’s a miracle nothing caught fire or blew up.”
This Isn’t A Mistake As Much As It Is A Sign From Above
“I had just started to fry some peppers when a fat cockroach dropped out of the extractor unit and into the pan. The thing scuttled all over the peppers and onto the counter and disappeared. I was freaked out – the peppers started to burn.
I threw it all away and started to make some fresh peppers. These were going along quite nicely – the oil was a lot hotter – when a second bug fell out and this time it fried in the oil. Threw it all away and went out to eat, and I don’t think I attempted to cook anything major in the place ever again.”
The Fire Means It’s Working
“When I was in high school, I owed my friend some money. I told him I would pay him back with cookies.
So I grabbed the cocoa powder and looked at the side to find the recipe. It said something about doubling the cocoa powder to make extra chocolatey cookies. Who doesn’t want that, so I went ahead and made that recipe. I finish mixing the batter when I realize that I had definitely not made cookie dough but cake batter. Not wanting it to go to waste, I decided ‘forget it, he’s getting a cake.’ I put the batter in a tin and threw it in the oven.
10 minutes later there is a loud bang. Being the excellent cook that I am, I knew that cakes don’t usually go ‘bang’ so I should check it out. I look in the oven and see that the cake had exploded and there was now chunks of cake batter all over the inside of the oven.
I pull the cake out and scrape off the larger chunks of cake from the oven.
I had to clean the oven, so I logically set the oven to ‘clean’ and watched as small fires started throughout the oven. This is when my parents showed up and were astounded at the sheer stupidity that I demonstrated. Even sadder was that I was 16 at the time.
Finally, the night ended with me sitting outside the oven using a chisel to carve out the rock-hard pieces of cake.
I ended up buying him a package of cookies and called it even.”
Classic, Salty Mistake
“I had just started dating my future husband and he told me he knows how to cook (he is a chef) so I thought I’d impress him.
I made him stuffed manicotti. Making the cheese mixture I went for a 1/4 cup of sugar (was a big batch of pasta and I didn’t know servings at the time) but little did I know the sugar had been replaced with salt because my stepdad was such a funny guy. The worst part was that I had already added salt. So now I have a batch of salt with some cheese in it, instead of nicely salted cheese. I’m in hurry and figure if I get him to drink a few brews before eating he won’t notice how bad it is… Wrong. He did manage to swallow a bite!
The best part? He left it in the fridge afterward instead of throwing it away and his brother (also his roommate) ate it.
He ended up being diagnosed lactose intolerant days later and it’s still a running joke between my husband and me that my cooking caused it.”
Lesson Learned: Always Wear Clothes
“I just got out of the shower so I was still in a towel. Started to heat the pan with the bacon grease in it from breakfast to make a delicious burger. Was at the sink washing a couple plates, when the grease started popping in the pan. I quickly ran over to turn the heat down when my towel fell to the ground. I ended up burning the ever loving crap out of my junk.
My wife came running into the room to me screaming like I had just cut off a finger or something. That day I learned to never cook in a towel.”
Roasted Plastic Surprise
“I moved into a share house with one of my best mates. A great guy, but he was a real mama’s boy who had no idea how to fend for himself. One day he decided to try cooking for himself, so he purchased one of those pre-wrapped beef roasts.
I came home to find him ‘cooking’ this roast, to find the kitchen filled with this horrible burnt smell and black smoke everywhere. Turns out he had:
a) BOILED the roast beef, but just dumping it in a pan of hot water.
b) Left the plastic wrap on the meat while trying to cook it.
So he ended up with this half-burnt, half-raw pile of gelatinous sludge, with a large amount of plastic packaging melted into it.”
“I’ve had several. I once made Mac and Cheese by putting ALL the ingredients in the boiling water at once, instead of after boiling the pasta. This caused the whole thing to boil over and all the butter, cheese powder, and whatnot got caked onto the burner. I was lazy and didn’t clean it.
The next day, I went to make some grilled cheese on the same burner. All that stuff that was caked onto the burner started smoking and caught fire.
Another time, I got tired of boiling my frozen broccoli (it takes so long to bring it to a boil) so I tried grilling on a frying pan. I somehow managed to burn it without completely melting the ice. Yes, I burned my broccoli and it was still too cold.”
Their Family Put Up With More Than Most
“As a kid, I spent the weekend at my Grandma’s house and she taught me how to make apple crumble (cobbler).
I returned home excited to make it for my family and made sure mom bought the ingredients for me the next time she did the groceries. For the most part, all spices we bought come in the same containers with the same color lids from the same brand. The recipe called for cinnamon and I didn’t realize until the crumble was in the oven that I had instead put steak seasoning in. Quite a large amount, in fact.
I cried hysterically as my mom and sister ate it telling me, ‘it’s still good you can barely taste it!’ They lied, it tasted terrible and I haven’t attempted apple crumble since.”
Distracted By Love
“I came home wasted with my girlfriend at the time.
We put a pizza in the oven, went for good times in my bedroom. We passed out and woke up later to a house full of smoke and a pizza that was about half the normal size, completely carbonized.
I ended up throwing it in the backyard, and months later there it still sat. For all I know, it is still there.”
A Whimsical Breakfast Destroyed
“I woke up and wanted breakfast. The eggs are primed and ready for a frying, bread is ready for its toast transformation. After this, I get everything ready for my smoothie. All is well until I decide this is not enough for my ravenous appetite. Out comes the grater and potato.
After the potato is shredded my lust for morning nourishment is hitting its peak. I begin to cook all the things. The potato is going towards a hash brown I’ve made only a few times. Everything is going well until I glance at the now smoking glob of potato that I dare to call ‘hash brown.’ It was gray, charred, and looked like it slithered its way out of a deep dark sewer.
The smell put a damper on my once-ravenous appetite. This unholy potato demon found a home in the outside garbage can.”
Not Wanting To Kill The Joy
“Little brother had his friend over staying the night (both about 12 years old), so I decided to be a good older sibling and make them pancakes for breakfast. I made chocolate chip, banana, and blueberry pancakes, basically trying to make this a special treat for the boys. Every time they finished one I had another ready to put on their plate.
After they had at least one of each, they both very politely thanked me for cooking them breakfast and went outside. I sat down to finally have some pancakes myself. That first bite I thought I had bit into pancake full of toothpaste. I never knew something that left my mouth feeling so minty fresh could taste so foul. Turns out, I used peppermint extract instead of vanilla extract, and way too much of it.
I went outside to ask my brother why on earth he didn’t tell me that they tasted so bad (I get why his friend didn’t, but I’m still so surprised my brother didn’t speak up). He said ‘Well, you looked so excited that you didn’t actually screw this meal up, I didn’t want to disappoint you.’
But How Did The Phone Taste?
“While cooking one day I was watching some YouTube videos on my phone. My phone was sitting on the counter and I watched as I prepped my meals. I was in the process of cooking chicken and veggies on the stove top. I also wanted some rice, so I got my rice cooker out and prepared for greatness. I placed the rice cooker next to my phone and filled it with chicken broth, and wisely decided it would be smart to move my phone away from the danger zone.
I grab my phone in my right hand and move to the left. The phone slips out of my hand and right into 6 inches of broth
This was no time for hesitation. I had to save this 900 dollar phone. I instantly dove into that broth. I grabbed my phone out of the broth. I could hear the audio from the Youtube video blub blub blub and I IMMEDIATELY started sucking on my phone holes like a freaking Dyson vacuum. Suck, suck, suck.
Well, I saved the phone and was able to keep it going until I could upgrade. Conveniently I had rice close by so I was able to use that to treat the phone as well.”
A Birthday Dud
“I wanted to make my dad a cake for his birthday. My first time making a cake from scratch, but my sister and I gave it a red hot go. The batter was all good so we popped it in the oven and waited. After a time; we took it out. It was fully cooked through but only about 1 inch thick. I figure we’ll ice it and give it to him anyway, it’s the thought that counts.
We wrote in icing on the top ‘Happy Birthday Dud’ – we messed up the A in dad! So we gave him his slightly offensive cake which I thought might at least surprise us and taste lovely despite the look of it. Unfortunately, it did not. Pockets of flour in most pieces, with an overall tangy taste. We had to throw it out.”
Even The Tomatoes Could’t Save The Soup
“I used to make some great lentil soup when I was in elementary school.
My mom kept salt in a small jar, no shaker cap, and I would always shake some into my palm before adding it to the soup. Well, one time, I decided that since I had never poured too much salt, I might as well just pour it straight into the pot without using my hand first. Naturally, that was the one time I poured out more than I meant to. I would estimate it was about a quarter cup of salt I dumped into the soup.
I grabbed a can of tomatoes and dumped it in in a vain attempt to water it down and somehow salvage it. When I served it, Mom made a comment along the lines of ‘oh, you like tomatoes now/are giving tomatoes a chance’ (I freaking can’t stand tomatoes). I remained silent, we sit down, each of us takes one spoonful, look at each other, agree it is completely inedible, and toss it in the compost.”
Gravy Powder Is NOT Chocolate!
“I came home wasted one night and decided to make myself a nice cheese omelet once. It tasted pretty bad and I realized that I forgot to take the plastic wrapping off the cheese before I grated it.
I also once made a chocolate cake but instead of using cocoa powder I used gravy powder.”
Beef Is Beef, Right?
“When I was about 19, I’d been living with my (then) boyfriend for about a year. I had a routine of buying a package of different meat cuts from the butcher, every two weeks or so, and freezing some items for later use.
One weekend, I grabbed a roast from the freezer and defrosted it. My usual recipe was to cook it for a few hours in a foil ‘tent’, with some seasonings and soup mixes, which resulted in very tender meat with a delicious gravy. I pulled the roast out after the expected cooking time, and sneaked a spoonful of gravy – quality control, right? To my horror, the what-should-have-been-scrumptious gravy was ridiculously salty. Completely bizarre.
I cut into the meat, and… what the heck?! It was pink inside, after several hours of cooking. Took me a few moments to realize that, instead of cooking a standard cut, I’d roasted a corned beef.”