The older I get, and the longer I’ve been married, the less importance Valentine’s Day has in my relationship. The best part about Valentine’s Day (if you have been coupled for a while) is it serves as a reminder to go on a date or celebrate your relationship. This year, Valentine’s Day is the latest holiday to be altered by the pandemic and will be even harder to celebrate.
Quarantine is hard, marriage is hard. Put them together and what do you have? Little to no date nights, countless hours spent doom scrolling on your phones, binge-watching shows, working too much after hours, etc. So this Valentine’s Day, I wanted to get back to the basics, check out of the devices and try* to have a little fun together.
The honeymoon phase of a relationship is great for many reasons but for me, I loved getting to know the other person’s past, all their stories, likes and dislikes, and everything in between. It can be tempting to think you know all there is to know about your partner that’s of interest, but this Valentine’s Day let’s get weird. Try talking, but not about heavy stuff, make it fun. My spouse and I were inspired by the New York Times’ The 36 Questions That Lead to Love a few months ago and ended up having a perfect date night at home.
Set the Mood
Remove stress and eliminate clean up duty by ordering out from a favorite local restaurant. Next, open a bottle of wine or your drink of choice, and each take turns playing DJ or select songs that remind you of your early years together. After eating, sit down and let the questions and conversations start flowing over dessert and drinks.
I sampled some of my favorites from the New York Times’ list and picked a few others that inspire introspective discussion. I found the 36 questions from the Times too long to complete in one sitting. The following 16 questions are plenty to get you through one date night.
- When we can travel together, where should we go, just the two of us?
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
- If we inherited a million dollars, how would you suggest we spend or invest it?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- If you could see into the future, what is the one thing that you would want to know?
- Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
- To date, what do you consider the greatest accomplishment of your life?
- Did you ever want more or fewer siblings?
- When you wake up in the middle of the night, what topic do you most often think about?
- What’s your favorite non-sexual activity that we do together?
- Just us on a deserted island, what one item do we each bring?
- What do you think we need to work on the most in our relationship?
- Is being married how you envisioned it being?
- What’s something you enjoyed doing when you were younger that you’d like to get back into again?