We’ve either heard or have used the expression, ‘Mi casa es su casa,’ which in English means, ‘Make yourself at home’, when trying to make house guests feel more welcome in our homes. However, there are some house guests that see that as an opportunity to take advantage of the hospitality. These homeowners share the worst house guests that ever stepped foot in their homes. Content has been edited for clarity.
She Forgot To Mention This Detail About Her Dog
“I let a friend and her dog stay at my house over the weekend while I was away. She left my kitchen a disaster, the back door unlocked, and best of all, infested my place with fleas. I had asked her directly if her dog was on flea prevention and she assured me it was.
After I was swarmed with fleas in my living room, I questioned her again and she admitted that the ‘flea prevention’ she was giving the dog was yeast and garlic tablets. She made no offer to help me treat the house or reimburse me. She was not invited back.
I think I remember the friend quitting those pills after this incident, but I’m not sure. She and I are no longer friends(shocker), but I do hope the dog is ok. PSA hippie remedies found on the internet are not an acceptable substitute for veterinary care and advice.”
“Her Boyfriend Was A Literal Goblin”
“So a couple of years ago, just before the global shut down in 2020, our good friend and her boyfriend came to stay with my fiancee and me for a week. Our friend was a saint, her boyfriend was a literal goblin. To this day I have no idea how this man survived into his 20s, he was the absolute strangest person I’ve ever met. Very friendly, but very strange. We’ll call him ‘Sven’.
He was fine for the first couple of days. Took us all out for drinks, acted like a total gentleman. A couple of days in, he decided he wants to be a weed dealer in our neighborhood. For reference, we lived in a residential family neighborhood in ‘the hood’ of our city. There were already several dealers on our block. We tried to convince him this was a very bad idea, specifically because we didn’t want the other dealers on our block thinking our house was the competition. Sven did not listen.
Fortunately, nothing serious happened and he didn’t run into anyone important. He did, however, run into our next-door neighbor, and invited himself into the guy’s house.
Now, at this point Sven texted his girlfriend saying he was at the neighbor’s house just hanging out. Our neighbor was a nice dude, but not someone we’ve ever actually hung out with. So we began the process of trying to extract him. He was not picking up on it because he had no understanding of social cues whatsoever.
Suddenly Sven stood up and exclaimed, ‘Aw, man, I’m bleeding!’
His shin was bleeding a lot because he had apparently picked a scab.
Our neighbor asked him if he wanted a bandaid, and Sven just said, ‘Nah man I can handle it.’
We eventually got him out, but not before he bled all over the place.
The next morning my fiancee got up before the sunrise to use the bathroom and saw Sven in the backyard wanking off. She decided not to confront him because it was weird. We later asked his girlfriend about it and offered to leave if they wanted to have some intimate time, and apparently, he believed it was rude to do it in someone else’s house and thought it would be polite to do it in the yard instead. Again, residential family neighborhood. No idea what possessed him to think this was okay.
Sven had a condition where every time he was cold he would grab at his stomach and make audible, ‘Uhhh…brrrr’ sounds, and complain that his stomach hurt. We couldn’t figure out what that had to do with being cold.
At one point, Sven bought a gallon of milk and a can of chili, rapidly ate the chili and chugged the milk, and then projectile vomited all over the backyard. When we asked his girlfriend why he didn’t just use the toilet, she said he’d told her he ‘wanted to be polite’.
I asked him about the vomit later on and he just said, ‘Uhh…I ate too fast,’ and left it at that.
There were some other things that weren’t exceptionally noteworthy but were still annoying. He’d sleep in our living room all day and fart a lot. He’d take hour-long showers and use up all of our hot water, shampoo, and conditioner.
On the day they were supposed to leave, I decided I’d had enough and was burned out, so I got in my car and started driving to the local CVS on my street to pick up a few things and get out of the house. Lo and behold, Sven hopped our fence, slid in my passenger door, and said he needed a couple of things for the trip so he’d be coming with me. When we got there, he was just being loud and yelling across the store trying to have conversations with me, and at this point, I was just counting down the minutes until he left.
We got to the checkout line, he cut in front of me, and before the cashier even started ringing him up, he started asking for discounts. I believe he asked for the ‘out of towners discount’ and also tried to apply for a credit card. At a CVS.
When this didn’t work and his stuff came out to more than he wanted it to, he said, ‘Hey man! Can you get me this drink? I thought I’d be able to get some discounts.’
I reluctantly added his drink to my basket because I didn’t want to deal with the hassle.
He looked in my basket, which contained shampoo and conditioner to replace the ones he used up, and said, ‘Dang dude, you go through a lot of Suave for a bald guy.’
Almost Three Months
“I was staying with my wife’s parents in Peru, which was the plan for two years while abroad. We got married recently and so my wife’s niece, cousin, and aunt came to visit from another city in order to attend, and her grandmother too, from another country she’d been living in for over a year.
They saw that the house was in a livable state and basically decided to stay. Then they complained that their rooms didn’t have en-suite bathrooms and tried to take my room and my wife’s parents’ room. Well, they gave up their room, but we didn’t since I paid to do the house up.
They came for two weeks and stayed for almost three months. I got woken up almost everyday by shouting, loud phone calls, singing, and music, etc.. At any time. There had been so much drama that all of them except the grandmother had decided to leave at the end of the month. I mean they did have their place.. To make things worse the grandmother owned several houses in the same city, and the aunt owned one in the city aswell, but they wanted to stay at my in-laws’ place because it was free.
One of the worst things of all is the aunt was like a life narrator. She said everything that happened, which made watching TV impossible.
She would say, ‘Oh, he likes her! They’re kissing! Oh and now they’re talking about that other thing!’
I would think, ‘Like yes, I know, I can see the same screen, but I can’t hear anything over the talking.'”
“When my husband and I first dated, I would usually hang out at his house because there were significantly fewer people around. I grew up with four sisters, shared a bedroom, and their friends were over a lot so I enjoyed the privacy I got at his house.
One day, my mother-in-law (MIL) told me to make sure the back door was locked, blinds drawn, and not to let the dogs out in the backyard. She told me she didn’t want her next-door neighbor to know she was home. Okay weird but I quickly found out why.
So this neighbor was a single dad and had two children, a tween and a child. The younger of these children was nonverbal and completely silent. The neighbor worked from home but on a couple of occasions asked if my MIL could babysit to which she reluctantly agreed. The father would let himself into my MIL’s house to pick the child up without knocking and then hang out, wanting to talk for hours about himself, and wanting to have dinner which my MIL was not at all interested in. The child took a real liking to my MIL and started just coming in the house, letting themselves in, making themselves at home, and the father actively encouraged it and thought the bonding with an adult mother figure was nice for the child to have. There would be times my MIL was sleeping in her sheer nightgown and would wake up and have this small child standing over her. Scared the living out of her and it would scare my husband too.
They would come home and the child would be in the house waiting, snuck in through the back door that was unlocked. When they started locking the door they would sit on the porch and wait. Anytime this prick would see that anyone was home, he would just send his child over. The child didn’t speak so you couldn’t sit down with them and explain how you can’t just walk into someone’s house, and how it’s dangerous and not appropriate. Thankfully my MIL’s dogs were the sweetest dogs because the child could have been hurt. This child did not suffer from any bad behavior problems but lacked understanding of dangerous things and needed constant supervision for their age.
So my MIL had a discussion with the father and told him, ‘Look, I work full time and lots of overtime, I’m tired. I have household chores and yard work to do and I can not be babysitting your child all the time and they can’t just show up unannounced.’
She was a single mother herself.
He said, ‘No problem! I’m sure your son and his girlfriend won’t mind babysitting.’
My MIL said she would ask us but it was going to be a no. So she asked but we said, ‘No.’
We were 14 years old and only got to see each other one day a week since we lived 35 minutes away. Two teens that did not want to spend the few hours we had together babysitting a child that didn’t want to be around us, they only wanted my MIL. Eventually, my MIL caved for a while and fed this child and let them hang around for hours, and even sleep over a couple of times until she just couldn’t do it anymore. She again made it known that she could no longer watch this child to the father that she was just too exhausted. He said he understood and that it wouldn’t happen again. Never stuck to it though.
So my MIL and my husband lived like ‘The Klopeks’, car in the garage, window curtains or blinds closed, lights off, doors all locked, and little movement. The child would still come and try and get in through the doors and ring the doorbell over and over and over knowing they were inside. So she would eventually open the door, take the child back home and firmly explain to the father again that she couldn’t be babysitting. He would do the whole fake apology thing and say it wouldn’t happen again. Rinse and repeat.
She started only going in her yard when she would see his was car gone or his lights off. The houses were so close together she could never really hide from them. It was really nerve-racking and bizarre. When she finally sold that house, I know it was a weight lifted off her shoulders. She’s a pretty high-strung neurotic person, to begin with, but she has always been good and kind to children. The guilt she had from turning the child away really took a toll on her but it wasn’t her responsibility to be raising the child, and as I pointed out to her, the child had a clean house, clean clothes, hair brushed, obviously, no signs of abuse, well-fed and a father who took her with when he left the house so he was just using her for free childcare when he was working or wanted to go out alone.
Wouldn’t you know it though, her neighbor tracked her down after she moved and remarried asking if she was still up for babysitting? She just blocked his calls. She still acts like a hermit now all these years later, like she has PTSD from it. One time someone came to her door unannounced and kept ringing the bell over and over and she took the pan of bacon she was cooking off the stove and hid in her room with it. I wish I was joking.”
Never Trust A Lead Singer
“I was in a gigging band with some dudes. I was the bass player, the manager, the roadie, the sound guy, and the financier. My best friend was the drummer, and ‘D’ was the lead singer and guitarist. D couldn’t keep his ‘D’ in his pants, so his wife kicked him out.
He had hooked up someone at work, so he lost his job. I let him stay with me. His wife destroyed all his clothes, so I spent about 500 bucks on clothes for him, which he said he would payback. I also bought his kids’ Christmas presents, which he said he’d payback.
A couple of weeks later, stuff suspiciously started turning up missing, but it was all minor stuff and we had parties from time to time, so I wasn’t sure if it was D. About a month later, I booked us a significant gig. It was a music festival and we got two hours, twice a day, for two days. It paid way more than any other gig we ever had and it would have paid for some new gear we needed. Two days before the gig, I came home and D was gone.
Later that night, we were supposed to practice, but D didn’t show. I went to practice and all the microphones and guitars were gone. D hawked them and went on a dope spree. Apparently, his new girlfriend got him into it and he went off the deep end. Two days later, he got in a fight and broke a guy’s neck. He went to prison. Because I had spent so much on his clothes and kids, I didn’t have enough to get the guitars out of hawk, and his new life pretty much ensured that he was never paying me back. I lost the guitars and mics to resale on the hawk loan. End of the band. That prick.
I still get mad about it.”
The Worst House AND Cat Sitter
“My parents asked a neighbor to house sit for them while they were away for the week. She lived across the street from them and they had house sat/ dog sat for her a few times over the course of the year for free (remember this for later) because they were friends with her and didn’t expect to be paid. She agreed to do this for them in exchange for them doing it for her. They told her she was welcome to hang out there if she wanted to, and they left some snack food for her and left a few drinks in the fridge, that sort of thing. All she had to do was take in their mail, feed their two cats twice a day, and they asked if she could clean the kitty litter twice while they were gone.
So they told her, ‘Make yourself at home and feel free to hang out there if you would like.’
They got back, and she had literally been living there all week. Their bed was left un-made with dirty sheets, there were dirty towels in the bathroom, dirty dishes in the sink, and in the dishwasher that she didn’t clean. She ate all the snacks which was fine, but she was also clearly using a bunch of other stuff in their pantry to make meals with. Instead of cleaning out the kitty litter (which she knew how to do), she just dumped a giant bag of kitty litter over top of the old, turd-filled litter to the point that it had overflowed and she just didn’t clean it up.
However, my parents didn’t say anything.
They said thank you to her and said they’d see her later. She came over a couple of days later and asked where her 100 bucks were since they owed her for house sitting? My parents were like ‘What the heck?!’
They reminded her of the discussion they had. She demanded they give her that money because that’s what was owed to her for all that she did. My mom gave her 50 bucks and told her she wasn’t giving her another cent, and that she won’t be house sitting or dog sitting for her anymore. They still talk here and there, but that kinda put a damper on their friendship.”
Expensive Phone Bill
“I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school and I was going to be gone half the summer. He would call me while he was wasted. Other than this, he was an excellent houseguest. He even told me they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it but we had no idea that it was going to be almost 1K.
The reason the bill was 100 pages long was that each of the ‘1-900 numbers’ (pay-per-call services) operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services. So that 900 dollar bill was about 50 separate bills printed individually that were bundled together by my local provider.
If I didn’t pay that bill somehow they were never going to let me have a telephone again. I was able to call some of the customer service departments and get some of the bills canceled or reduced. My houseguest coughed up 500 bucks and gave me a CD player and a PlayStation and a TV.”
“My cousin did this to me a few years back. I stayed in my campus dorm where I studied. She gave me a surprise visit and I was glad to see her. She was in the city for some document work as she was going out of the country in a few months. We had met after so many years so yeah we had a long talk.
She started to hesitate as the day was over and I had to ask her where was she staying. She just laughed and said not to worry, she had a friend here where she was staying. But night came and she still hadn’t called her friend. I had to ask her to call her and she did. Seemed like she was pretending to call and talked to herself but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She slowly said her friend had left for her parents’ home and she couldn’t stay there anymore. I knew this was coming so I said she could stay for the night. I asked my roommate and she was fine with it.
Worst choice of my life.
She didn’t move from my dorm room for five days. She made some excuses and she wouldn’t come out of the room. Just laid on my bed and ate chips while watching YouTube whenever I came back from my classes. I was so tired and ashamed in front of my roommate. I called my mom and asked her what to do about it. She told me to lie about how the campus administrator has been noted of her living in my room and has apprehended me. It worked. She decided to leave the next day. The whole day she didn’t book a hotel, lied about booking a hotel, and never actually told me what the heck was her work. She even told me to never pick up her dad’s call if I ever get one. I was confused but then I knew why.
After she went, her dad’s call started and he was freaking ticked off.
She was not informing her parents about her whereabouts and just roaming around the country staying with anyone she knows of. She knew I was in this particular city and just barged in. I was mad for a while but then this story has turned out to be a story for us friends to laugh at during our drinking parties.”
“My dad had a cousin who was schizophrenic and was obviously a little off because of that. He used to come over every Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday for dinner with us.
One time my dad made some of that good KC style BBQ with ribs and baked beans. And that cousin’s digestive system couldn’t handle it and he went to the bathroom and released explosives absolutely everywhere and didn’t tell anyone, just went straight back to watching the Chiefs game in my dad’s man cave shed with my parents.
My sister walked in after him and told me. I looked and was shocked to see what went down. We then went to the man cave to tell my mom because my sister was about to pee herself and we weren’t trying to clean it. I was only probably 12 or 13 and she was probably 9 or 10. Imagine our hysterical laughing because he was grunting and cooking up a storm. We could hear him. But mom didn’t believe us.
We finally convinced her to come into the house to see it and she screamed bloody murder. She got my dad and he cleaned it all up and asked his cousin why he didn’t tell anyone.
The cousin’s response, ‘Beans make me fart, and sauce makes me shart.’
Imagine being like 13 and 10 years old and having to keep a straight face when that came out of his mouth because we didn’t want to make him feel bad. As soon as he left we were rolling laughing.”
He Left At Four Am
“My grandpa had driven over to our house for a few months to get away from his insane wife. In return, he was fixing up our disgusting bathroom.
He was perfectly fine with it. But when it came time to fix some of the plumbing, he decided to play it safe and find someone to do it instead. Luckily, my mom found some guy next door willing to do it for free.
The first red flag should’ve been when he showed up around six hours after he agreed to. It was around eight pm at this point, but my grandpa was just grateful to get someone to help him who wasn’t his ex-wife, my grandma, yelling at him for every perceived mistake.
But this man, acting wide awake and just a wee bit manic, stayed till four am. FOUR AM! This guy worked with my absolutely exhausted grandpa until the sun was coming up, only taking a tiny break to wolf down a sandwich my grandma had made, complaining the entire time. We highly believe he was high on something.
The cherry on top? When he finally left, my mom took the time to inform me that. ‘Hey, I think that was your great uncle.’
You see, I’ve never met my biological father, but this man was apparently the spitting image of him. They also were both Italian plumbers, and if I believe correctly, completely insane.
Ahh, the people I’m related to.”