When it comes to weddings, nothing goes unnoticed. “The centerpieces were tacky.” “The cake was amazing, I need the name of the bakery.” We all love to critique a wedding, but for these wedding-goers, the only thing that caught their attention was the odd actions of the bride and groom. Content has been edited for clarity purposes.
The Ending No One Was Expecting
“I went to this most wonderfully grand and extravagant wedding a number of years ago as my then boyfriend’s date. The groom was a close friend of his.
The bride’s dress was absolutely beautiful filled with just the right amount of bling with a long trailing train and veil, the cathedral was awe-inspiring with musicians and full mass.
The hall was exquisitely decorated and the food – oh the food. For the first couple of hours, there was a wide variety of both hot and cold hors de oeuvres with a lot of seafood. Then the dinner which was fit for royalty; first we were served a soup course, then a salad course, then a pasta course, then a fish course, then a chicken course, then prime rib beef course, and finally a luxurious dessert. Oh, and there was sorbet in between each course and even a sweet table set up for those who wanted yet even more or didn’t like the dessert served with the dinner. It was very classy and I had never or ever since been to such an excessive wedding.
This classy event must have cost them at least $100k (probably more) as there were more than 300 guests. Back in those days, you could buy a house for $100k so I was shocked by the sheer lavishness of this wedding. I was a divorcee and thought that when I got married I had a fairly nice wedding which cost $25k but definitely not even anywhere close to being on the same scale as this one.
What was not so classy was the groom had far too much to drink and being a diabetic, this did not agree with his system very well and just before midnight, he passed out and was taken away by ambulance to the hospital. I felt so badly for the bride but to give her full credit, she went with him to the hospital which unfortunately left the parents of the bride holding the bag with over 300 gaping and astonished guests.
At least it was midnight so the majority of the event went off without a hitch and there was an unbelievable midnight buffet that was all seafood such as lobster, crab, shrimps, scallops, which the parents of the bride all urged us to eat so it wouldn’t go to waste. After an evening of dancing and burning off all of the calories from the huge multi-course dinner, I and my date were happy to comply but I did feel very badly for the bride who obviously spent a lot of time and money in planning this magnificent day only to have it ruined. I broke up with my boyfriend shortly after so I never got the chance to see this couple again but I often wonder if she ever let him live it down!”
The Awkward “You May Kiss The Bride” Moment
“I was the officiant at a wedding at a local park. The bride’s mother made the arrangements because the bride was in the Army in another state so I did not meet the couple in advance. So when I met the mother and she greeted me, the bride was still sitting in the car. The mother had to ask her to stop playing her video game to get out and meet me. The bride was in her early 20s and was in a short white sundress that looked like she slept in it and sneakers. She was obviously about six months pregnant. She was annoyed that we interrupted her game.
I thought, ‘This is going to be interesting.’
The groom was delayed due to a traffic jam. The wedding was supposed to be on a dock by the water but a thunderstorm forced us to change the location to a covered porch at a historic house on the property. The groom finally arrived and was dressed appropriately in a suit and seemed excited to get married, just the opposite of the bride. He was well-mannered.
We finally got underway and I started the ceremony. When we got to the vows and I asked the groom he enthusiastically said, ‘I do!’
When I then asked the bride to take him as her husband, she hesitated for a very long pause, myself and the guests waiting in awkward silence, and she finally said, ‘I do,’ with all the excitement of someone having to have their tooth pulled.
When I pronounced them husband and wife and said, ‘You may kiss the bride,’ he leaned towards her as she backed up with total disgust. After a moment, she finally let him kiss her like he was the famous ugly toad. I was horrified and could not wait to leave. That poor husband and that poor baby! I felt so embarrassed for him.”
“I officiated a wedding several years ago at a beautiful, lake-side amphitheater. With the lake fronted by tall indigenous trees. An ideal setting for our wedding ceremony.
The men, all college jocks, were getting ready for the wedding with shots and chasers. I declined until after the ceremony.
On cue, from some fifty feet away and with great purpose, we walked from behind bushes. I was in a black suit and they were in very expensive tuxes. As the lead, I imagined how resplendent we must have looked. Officiant and eleven jocks in a row.
I looked up into the ascending seating of the 200 or so guests. Some were gasping, others laughing and some were silly stunned. All were looking at the groom and his cohorts. I looked to my left and all twelve were pantless and mooning the guests.
I, sternly said, ‘GUYS!’
They stood tall and zipped up. Interestingly, not one guest had looked away.
Just then the music changed and the bridesmaids descended from a high path, towards us. It was obvious that neither the maids, nor flower girl or ring bearer knew what they barely missed. The bride and father being last, were clueless.
The wedding proceeded as planned with no hiccups. The vows were sweet and said with feeling. After the pronouncement, the two gave a long and well-done first kiss as a married couple. We immediately went into the procession and up to the veranda of the main house.
For a few moments, all was well, as the bride, groom, and family members, received congrats. Then ringing out over a quiet forest, by the placid lake.
‘YOU WHAT? OMG, LOOK AT THESE PICTURES!’ Followed by some very intense bridal profanity.
Fortunately, my innocence was reflected in the pictures, The groom and his minions were not so innocent. I quickly sat next to a charming couple and while watching the show, continued with my shrimp hors D’oeuvres. Really very good.
They are still married with a couple of teen jocks and he is being repaid.”
Here Comes The Bride Or Not?
“It was a forced wedding, they were both in their twenties. The bride was four months pregnant. I had heard before that she was reluctant to have a serious relationship with him because he drank more than she was comfortable with. However, she got pregnant and they were married.
We arrived shortly before the ceremony was scheduled to begin. We were seated. The music began to play ‘Here Comes the Bride’ and then it stopped.
It started again and then stopped again. A few seconds later, it started yet again, and here came the bride sobbing with her dad. She then turned back and went back to the room she came out of. A few minutes later they came out again, the bride still sobbing, and completed their walk to the alter. The vows were quickly said.
I kept hoping for the bride to make a run for it, I assumed her father stopped her. I thought the groom would stop it since it was obvious she didn’t want to marry him. Certainly, the mother of the bride would save her daughter. Possibly the minister would refuse since she showed so much regret. The only comment made was from the mother of the groom, asking the mother of the bride if she was expected to stand for the bride, as the bride entered the first time. It seemed a short ceremony and then she danced with a man I assume she was more fond of than her new husband while she sobbed.
I saw them several times in the following years she always looked miserable. He always made unflattering comments about her and to her. She usually cried. They had a couple of kids and I think she finally had enough. I was told she said she never loved him. It’s been probably 30 years since the divorce. She never remarried. He remarried and I’m hoping it’s happier than his first marriage.
I was embarrassed for the bride and her family. The belief that she must marry him. Forcing their child to marry.”
He Thought The DJ Was Hitting On His Bride
“Years ago, I worked at a high-end boutique hotel. It was a hot wedding venue. People would routinely drop 30k to 100k to get married there. The 30k wedding was the bargain basement option. Our chef had been nominated for the James Beard Award and celebrities routinely stayed with us when they were passing through or performing in the area. Even presidents have stayed there. And we all know the more money there is, the wilder the party-amirite is.
So, this one reception was in full swing. All the folks were happy and a little wasted. They were feeling frisky and fly in their finery as the DJ was playing his set. However, as the night went on, the new husband, at this point, wasted to the max, decided the DJ was eyeing his new, precious wife.
He then proceeded to clamber from the dance floor over the DJ set up/booth to give him a piece of his mind, like some sort of tuxedoed barbarian. And the crowd went wild. Drinks were thrown. The crowd stampeded the whole room.
The groom would not be restrained as he knocked out the DJ. The cops showed up, to assist private security. Dear friends, it was magnificent.
The DJ left on a stretcher and the groom left in handcuffs. I still laugh out loud every time I remember that evening.”
“This is the story of a very close couple of friends of mine. Matt and Kristin are an amazing couple with a massive heart for people and the community. So their wedding had to represent that. It was a whole weekend affair with ALL of their loved ones. Pre-Covid, of course. It was on a beautiful farm two hours outside of Cape Town. Their reception had two main focuses: dancing and games.
The game that became the constant through the night was a freeze game. There was a bright orange, shabby-looking hat. If the person with the hat put it on their head, everyone had to freeze. The last person to freeze had to down their drink and then became the new owner of the hat. The game was hilarious and the longer it went on, the more ridiculous the freeze positions became.
The groom decided when the next person froze he’d do some sort of Jameson pose (bent knee positioned mid-air), while his friend decided to do some sort of matrix, leaning back pose, with drinks in hand.
The hat went on. The music stopped. The two guys took to their positions and suddenly it turned into what looked like a crime scene. Both had consumed an above-average amount of drinks and their chosen poses were basically expert level given their levels. The matrix pose guy fell onto the groom’s hands with his glass in them, which went directly onto his leg.
The result: blood everywhere.
He jumped up. Took in his situation, and gave his friend a friendly slap on the back, grabbed the DJs mic, and announced that he would be leaving and if the party stopped, he’d be furious.
So while he was rushed to the nearest town (two hours away) at one am with his bride in her dress all frazzled, and his thankfully sober brother. We continued partying.
They spent the next 48 hours in the ER and then had to catch various planes from Cape Town to Croatia. They yachted along the shores. Their wedding night was delayed by almost a week due to the injury, flights, and severe motion sickness.”
“I was at a wedding where they were going to give their own vows. The bride’s vows were quite original. Instead of promises to love, honor, and obey, she recited all of the groom’s affairs she found out about. Especially the one with her so-called friend. She vowed to leave him, effective immediately. Then she walked out and left him red-faced.
The other incident was a bachelor party the groom would not forget. His bachelor party was a nice steak dinner which relaxed him for the takedown.
We took him to a club. What followed was pre-planed with the club. The special act of the evening was a magic act to be performed by one of the hottest dancers there. She needed a volunteer (victim) from the audience. We had enough drinks in him, he caved pretty quick when we pushed him to ‘go for it’. The hot chick was the bait.
She put a straight-back wood chair on the stage and tied him to it. Under one guise or another, she had his hands tied behind him. Then the magic was over. Piece by piece she stripped then stripped him down to his tighty whities.
We pulled out an empty video camera and acted like we were recording the scene to give to his fiance. He was in a panic. Then again and again the attractive dancer gave him all kinds of attention which really embarrassed him. And the video was to be ‘hunted down’ according to him. We had him worried, embarrassed, and stuck like Chuck.
He started with threats and ended up negotiating for his freedom. The whole club was getting a kick out of the scene. Later, we showed him the video camera was empty. He was quite relieved. We wanted him to remember his party. I think we succeeded.”
Where Was The Bride?
“It happened at my buddy Frank’s cousin’s wedding. They couldn’t find the bride. The bridesmaids were all up arms, as well as several people were looking. Not a reason to panic yet, the wedding wasn’t supposed to start for another hour or more, and they never start on time anyway.
This was kind of a rural-type setting, a barn remodeled for gatherings and parties. There was a large storage shed behind the barn and someone finally found the bride. She was getting it on with a guy she met at her bachelorette party.
Come to find out, she already cheated on the groom with this same guy the night of her bachelorette party. The maid of honor knew about it but didn’t tell anyone because she didn’t want to be the one to ruin the wedding, yeah that’s what would ruin the wedding. It was pretty embarrassing but understandable, the bride was known to be a cheater. The poor groom-to-be just didn’t think it would happen to him.”
The Groom’s Wedding Attire Backfired
“Let’s face it, other than professing your undying love for your other half, your wedding day is pretty much an excuse to have a big party with your nearest and dearest. And while we’re sure most newlyweds will admit to having perhaps a little TOO much fun at their wedding reception, one red-faced groom has given all new meaning to the term ‘messy’ on his wedding day.
In traditional Scottish fashion, the groom wore a kilt without pants for the wedding which took place in Greenock, Renfrewshire. However, his traditional choice of attire spectacularly backfired when he, erm, accidentally left a poo stain on his wife’s wedding dress.
And let’s just say, there was no hiding the ‘unsightly smear’ left behind.
Infuriated by her new husband’s oversight took a swing at her new husband which caused a fight to break out between the two families.
After the police were called to the scene, seven people were arrested at the reception. Fortunately, the groom and bride reconciled after they sobered up and couldn’t even remember the details of the incident.”
“I worked as a part-time Banquet Server in my younger days, and will never forget working a very large Italian Wedding. The red vino was being provided by the bride’s father. He had made and bottled the vino, especially for his daughter’s wedding.
Anyway, I had the unwanted pleasure of serving head-table. I hosted the vino to the bride, after all her dad had made it. The groom got himself all bent out of shape because he thought I should have had him be the first to sample the vino, and he told me so. I politely informed him that since it was the bride’s special day, and since the vino was made and provided by the bride’s father, that the bride should be the one to decide if the vino was enjoyable enough to serve to the guests. This shut him up for the time being.
The groom looked like a young and skinny Tony Orlando, black curly hair and a huge Italian-style mustache (so very late 60s/early 70s). Anyway, the groom turned his head to talk to the person on his left as the bride gave me her approval to commence serving the vino to the guests. So I topped up the bride’s glass, and then I filled the groom’s glass. The groom had angrily picked up his glass and had slammed it down in a different spot to where it had been. I proceeded to serve the rest of the guests on the head-table. The groom had neglected to notice that I had filled his glass with the red vino, and being of Italian descent, he was talking with his hands, and low and behold, the idiot groom sent his entire glass of red vino flying onto the bodice of the bride’s beautifully bright and crisp wedding dress.
And then I heard a huge gasp, and a big commotion all centered around and towards the bride. Her dress was a mess, I am not joking. I felt so sorry for the bride, but not so much for the groom, he was a bit of a dink.”
“My sister couldn’t make it to my rehearsal dinner before the wedding so my husband-to-be never met her. She was one of my bridesmaids. On the day of the wedding, she came into my suite and told me there was a guy who made a pass at her and wanted to go out with her after the wedding. Curious, I peeked out the door and asked her to point out the guy.
As she pointed to him, I was shocked. It was my husband-to-be.
He was philandering before the wedding. Normally the bridesmaids walked down first, however, Instead, I told her to walk behind me and hold the tail. When we got to the altar, she stepped aside and the groom to be just stood there with his mouth open.
I asked him if this was what I was to expect when we got married. He was all flustered. When the pastor asked if there was anyone who would stop the wedding from proceeding, I said, ‘Me,’ and slapped his face and then walked off the altar.”
“I attended a friend’s wedding. As he moved to the front he tripped and in the process ripped out the bask seam of his pants. We had dared him to wear bright pink lacy panties to surprise his new wife. Well, there he was upfront for the whole world to see the bright pink panties.
As his bride-to-be and his father-in-law began walking up the aisle, they stopped for about 30 seconds. As her father handed her hand to my friend, he commented he didn’t know he was getting another daughter and nice panties. That was what got my friend to look down and find the rip.
We burst out laughing after the vows he went and changed pants. We had a five-year anniversary party for them and her father gave him a box with a matching Bra and pantie set. We all got a kick out of that.”
“The bride had the groom promise not to smush cake in her face. Laughing, he violated his promise and mashed a big piece of it in her face, and rubbed it into her eyebrows and hairline too. So she slapped him. He slugged her. They started a real fight in the middle of everyone.
The quintet was finished, packing up to go. The reception band, at a loss for what to do, started playing the music the couple had chosen for their first dance.
We don’t know what happened after that, as my friends felt that their best move was to flee the scene! Fortunately, they’d gotten the check. They stopped by the bank on their way home and cashed it, to be on the safe side.”