Life is too short to be angry about parking yet here we are. These drivers share the lengths they’ve gone to get back at the idiot who stole their spot.
Rinse And Repeat
“It was a cold winter day. Eight inches of snow had fallen the night before, and the windchill made it feel as if it were in the negatives (Fahrenheit). I drive an all wheel drive SUV so I have no issues getting out. My wife on the other hand drives a Prius, which slides with the smallest amount of moisture on the road.
My car was down at the time, so we had to take my wife’s car. I spent 45 minutes in the freezing cold shoveling that car out so we could get to the store. We were gone for an hour, and when we came back, our neighbor had taken the spot I had shoveled.
Our apartment complex doesn’t have assigned parking, but in the winter, it’s understood that if you shovel a spot, it’s yours. So when I saw his car in the spot I had just shoveled, I was pretty ticked off.
I went inside and filled two gallon jugs of water. Went back out and poured them on his windshield. Rinse and repeat. I must have poured about ten gallons of water on his car. Being how cold it was, it was already freezing by the time I poured the last gallon on. It sat like that overnight.
The next morning, I got to watch as he helplessly tried to scrape all of these layers of ice off his windshield.
Don’t take my parking spot.”
Best $40 He Ever Spent
“I took the family out to eat at AppleBee’s. The lot was full and I saw a customer come out to leave so I waited for him to pull out and take the spot. Guy pulls out and a car full of young girls just pull in to my spot. You know the type. Well I rolled down my window and told them I was waiting for that space and the driver says ‘Too bad, your name wasn’t on it.’
I was livid but just waited for another space and went in and ate.
Girls were at the bar doing shots getting wasted. We enjoyed our meal and paid the waiter. I then asked the waiter if he wanted to make $20. I asked him to go up to the girls, 10 minutes after we left, and tell them they got a call from someone that said that they had keyed their car and that they should have parked somewhere else. By the way, I DID NOT KEY THE CAR.
I called him about an hour later to ask how it went. He said they all went nuts, screaming and stuff and even called the police.
BONUS: Cops came and found no damage to car but noticed the girls were too wasted to drive. Cops left and circled back and watched the car. Girls come out, get in car, start the car, and the parking lot explodes in blue light. Busted! Tickets for all.
I did not know about the bonus till a week later when I went back for a few drinks. The waiter recognized me and told me the bonus story, laughing the whole time. Another $20 to the waiter. Best $40 I ever spent.”
Now That’s Revenge, Baby
“I am someone in my late 20’s living in the south. I have been a regular at this small restaurant for a few years and usually sit at the bar. Sunday morning I walk in and sit at the bar, directly behind me is a booth with four ladies in their 20’s having breakfast. I don’t really pay much attention to them, the restaurant is pretty busy and all the waitresses are running around. I make small talk with the waitress, get my coffee and order my food.
As I waited at some point the ladies behind me had finished their food, left the booth paid and walked out. The table was being cleaned by another waitress and she finds a pair of glasses and asks the waitress who had the table before them. I said the ladies just left and are probably still outside in the parking lot and the waitress asked me if I could flag them down and give the glasses back. So being friendly I got the glasses and walked outside and found the ladies pulling out their car from the parking spot.
As I try to flag them to get their attention the two ladies in the front seat make eye contact, start laughing and then hit the gas without stopping, the ones in back yell something and give me the middle finger. I said forget it threw the glasses in the trash can and walked back in the restaurant.
Few minutes later I am back inside, eating my food, I see one of the ladies walk back inside talking to the hostess. She points to the waitress that had the table and inquires about the glasses. I am not going to lie, it felt good when they pointed at me and saw the look on her face. When the waitress asked what I had done with the glasses I told them I put them in the trash outside when they gave me the middle finger I didn’t get an apology the girl just walked out.
Few minutes later they come back asking which trash can I put the glasses into. I still hadn’t gotten an apology so I did what I thought was right and gave them the middle finger back and they left.”
Smell You Later!
“I used to live in a small house, on a small block with very narrow front lawns, with neighbors very close by.
The family over the road had two parents and five boys from about 18 down to 7.
They were loud, obnoxious, and their way was right. Always doing burnouts, revving their lousy four cylinder cars with straight pipes etc. They had a dozen cats that would be out all night, peeing on everything, killing birds and other wildlife. I turned the hose on two cats I saw in my garden. The mum saw it and wasn’t the least bit happy. I just waved at her.
They would occasionally send the youngest over to try to talk to me about Jesus and he would tell me I am going to the lake of fire for my sins.
Anyway, mum had a car, dad had a car, the two eldest had a car each and there was a project car. Nowhere near enough space for these cars, so they would park one or two up the road at a park and walk down.
One day one son decided to park on my front lawn. No biggie. One or two days won’t matter. I’m pretty accommodating.
A few days later it was still there. I saw the dad and said I needed the car moved. It was moved, and I mowed the lawn. It was a very nice lawn. Green, thick, healthy. One of the better ones in my street.
That afternoon, the car was back on my freshly mowed lawn. This isn’t going to resolve itself.
I saw them again the next day and said they can’t keep parking on my lawn. They have their own space, or keep parking up the street.
‘You’ve only got one car. We have five cars, we need the space,’ they complained.
‘Yep, well the park is a one minute walk away, keep parking there,’ I replied.
The car was parked back on my lawn again. I saw the dad (never saw the son) and said he needs to move the car. I’m doing some gardening and don’t want to damage it, and don’t want it in my way. It will be alright, he told me. Like heck it will.
So I got out bags of blood and bone, and threw out heaps of it. It stank. In the garden, on the lawns, some got on the car. Whatever. Dad said it would be fine. It absolutely stunk.
Being a petty individual at times, this being one of them I got a bottle of fart spray called liquid butt out of the house. I opened the lid and poured a little along the base of the windscreen, where the air conditioner intake is. Then a little more.
I had a chuckle and put the sprinkles on and went inside. About 30 minutes later, my son gets in his car to go out. I hear him go ‘Awww what the heck!’ and he slammed his car door and drove off.
The son never said anything to me, but the dad was pretty upset. He told me how much the car stank from whatever it was I did to my garden, and the son was ticked off because some girl he liked wouldn’t get in the car with him.
I just said it’s ok, it will be alright. He stopped parking there after that.”
Lesson Learned? Who Knows.
“Years ago I managed a parking garage in the downtown of a large midwestern city (USA). The area had a large homeless population as a shelter was nearby. Most of these gents were harmless, gentle folk.
Except for one guy. He made a habit of relieving himself both number one and number two in areas of the garage strategically placed to annoy staff. Not sure why he targeted us, but he did.
We knew when he had pooped because he would parade in front of the garage maniacally grinning at us afterwards. Seeing that, we’d collectively sigh and go on a poop hunt and clean up the mess. He would follow us to a point, often hanging out by the office/stairway doors leering at us as we began our search.
This garage was 100% machine operated and only gave dollar coins as change for cash transactions. We got our dollar coins from the bank in $1000 boxes.
These boxes have $1000 printed in large type on them in an almost comical manner. They have to be hidden because they’re practically an advertisement for thieves. Why banks think this a good idea is a mystery.
So one day after nauseatingly picking up his turd, I decided to put it in one of those (empty) $1000 boxes. I had run out of smaller trash bags. Waste not, want not, right?
Inspiration struck! I placed the box with it’s fecal surprise in a seldom used trash can right by the office doors and waited.
The next time we saw our prolific pooper grinning proudly at us we followed our now established routine and filed out of the office to begin our poo hunt. But this time we made a point of all walking slowly by the trash can with the $1000 poop box easily visible on top knowing he would follow.
We were not disappointed. As he walked by the trash can he let out a victorious yawp, grabbed the $1000 poop box and joyously sprinted out of the garage and down the street.
I’d love to say that he never came back, but he did. He was never quite as mean as he was before though. Maybe we taught him a lesson? Probably not.”
Now That’s Teamwork
“This is from my trucking days. In the winter I would fill up on DEF (diesel exhaust fluid) every time I would get fuel because dispenser would get frozen and won’t pump in cold weather. Without DEF truck would go into derate mode, basically locking it to few miles an hour and you have to call certified mechanic to fix the issue which costs a lot of money and down time. I pulled up to fuel pumps behind a truck (only couple fuel pumps had DEF pump station on them and where in use). Driver wasn’t fueling but could have went inside to activate the pump. Oh well I can wait, time to change that turn signal that burned out on me. Pulled the bulb out and was going inside to get a new one. I look over in the cab and both drivers just sitting there having a lunch. Next is the conversation we had.
Me – ‘Are you guys going to fuel up?’
Drivers – ‘We are done.’
Me – ‘Could you move? Because I gotta get fuel.’
Drivers – ‘We can’t for next 20 min because of mandatory break.’
Me – ‘You could have parked in a lot.’
Which were like 100 feet just in front of them, I may add.
Drivers – ‘We will move when we will move. Now get lost.’
I seen an over size truck sitting at the pump next to them and watching me. Walked over and explained to him what was up. He asked if I still had hours on my log book. Said yes. He asked me if I could guide him. I knew right away what he was thinking. Block those idiots in. So over size with my help starts backing up infront of those drivers who were oblivious to what’s going on until air breaks where set on over size truck. They were ticked off and started yelling that they had to go.
We said sorry but we can’t move. You know that mandatory 30 min break. They complained to stuff but nothing came of that. Made some calls but that didn’t result in anything. Me and oversize driver had a good hour long conversation. Told those two idiots to never park at fuel pumps except for fueling. They left and I got my fuel with DEF.”
Caught On Tape!
“I have to park my motorcycle on the street, I lock it with this big chain, to a dedicated motorcycle street-anchor.
It happens to be close enough to my house that I can point a CCTV camera right at it from my porch.
Well I catch on CCTV a neighbour reversing into my bike….then trying to move it out of the motorcycle bay, THEN reversing into it again, knocking it over and panicking and backing up ON TO IT.
Then he gets out the car, puts my bike back up like nothing happens and leaves.
Next morning I go out, see my bike is scratched and the mirror is broken off, see neighbours car right next to it and check my camera, sure enough see him doing all this.
I go to his house and say ‘Hey James, I saw you hitting my bike over and I need to take your insurance details because you damaged it,’ and he gets SUPER aggravated and confrontational.
Now, I don’t care too much, it isn’t a nice bike it isn’t expensive, but I have to make sure it is roady-worthy because I commute on it.
I tell him to calm down, which really sets him off. So I say ‘Ok, dude, I don’t want to fall out over this, but it is on camera, it is a crime, and I will tell the police,’ and he gets SUPER mad and starts threatening me and saying he’s gonna move his car and I have no evidence and motorcycles are for losers.
And then I got a bit dumb.
I unlocked my bike and wrapped the chain carefully around his car wheel and locked it, then went back to his house (after phoning the police to report it)
Sheepishly he was all ‘No, no ok I will give you my insurance.’ Nope, too late prick! Police already know, you haven’t reported it and I didn’t give them any of your contact details. So if he is too dumb (which he probably is) to call it in to the police separately he will be charged with failing to report a motor vehicle collision as well as damage and trying to hide a collision. Stupid fool.”
Very Petty Revenge At The Grocery Store
“I ordered to pickup at my local grocery store which has designated parking for pick up orders. Someone who seemed to have a regular order decided to double park in the last two ‘pick up’ spots remaining. Luckily there was an opening just opposite of these two spots so I parked there in the mean time. While waiting for a worker to be available.
Eventually, after a worker finished filling up another customers car, I notify them that hey, I’m parked here close by as there’s nothing else available. But since I wasn’t in a designated spot, I seemed to perhaps get a lower priority than those linked to a designated numbered spot so I had to wait much longer.
After enough time, the person who double parked taking the last two designated spots came out of the store with their groceries and loaded up the car. As they prepared to leave I decided why not have a little petty revenge to make them slightly inconvenienced. As they started their car, I decided to take out my phone and pretend to be busy it with it while standing in a position that would prevent them from backing out of the parking spot. Not too close to the car, but not too far either. But also with my back slightly turned more toward the their vehicle so it would seem that I’m just oblivious to the vehicle and perhaps would continue walking any moment after looking at my phone.
This went on for about 15 to 30 seconds when. Then, I got a new lucky break. The grocery worker came to deliver my items. So I stopped grocery worker kind in the middle of the parking lane still with our backs turned to the vehicle wanting to back out, and started to try to use my phone to verify the grocery items being delivered.
Then after another 15 to 30 seconds when the worker noticed the reverse lights as the car tried to back out very slowly. The worker started moving the cart out of the way as I pretend to be oblivious for a little while longer to extend this petty revenge as long as possible.”
He Called The Cops Over That?
“We lived in a really quiet neighborhood and the road was not marked so we used to park on both sides with one lane for cars to pass (two cars don’t pass at the same time).
Our relationship with our neighbor was good up until now, he used to come in our yard to ask my father to teach him how to garden. When he goes on vacation he tells us we can park in his land (which we never did because we have enough room for our cars but that was nice of him)
Until one day, he had a friend come over with a really large truck to help him work on his garden and my father’s car was parked in front of our house, the truck could pass because there was our neighbors car on the left and ours on the right.
The neighbor didn’t want to move his car saying it was on his property (in front of his house on the public paved driveway) and he called us home to move my father’s.
No one was home except my 13-year-old brother. He called my father to tell him about the situation and my father told the neighbor to take his car keys and move his car as he wasn’t home.
The neighbor refused and called the cops, they showed and he explained. The cops were quite annoyed that they had to show up for that and took my father’s keys to move his car out of the truck way.
My family was ticked off, but I was enraged because in my country it is quite a big deal to call the cops on someone.
So I took it upon myself to make it right.
I started parking on his side of the road, and he came to me many times to tell me it’s his property.
But as it was paved by the state, and had plots put there by the city officials, I didn’t believe him ans told him to bring me proof this was his land.
He had a survey and went to me one day to show me that this was indeed his property. I said OK and did not park on his side anymore.
However I called the mayor office to tell them that I would like the city to pay for plots in front of my house and pave the driveway too, as they did for my neighbor.
Turns out, my neighbor had a friend working at the mayor office and unofficially paved his driveway and put plots in front of his house (not his property) to stop people from parking on his side of the road, it was deemed illegal and a few days later, the mayor office sent a guy to take off the plots and the neighborhood had two more public spots !
I was petty, but it was worth it.
If he had just moved my father’s car himself, none of it would have happened
No need to say we no longer have a friendly relationship with him and he is not welcome anymore when he shows up unannounced to borrow gardening tools.”