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  • Petty HOA Notices

    by Caitlin Kubitz
    December 1, 2022
    A small house in yellow springs USA
    Photo by Phil Hearing on Unsplash

    Turning the keys into the world of homeownership is the most satisfying feelings in the world. But annoying HOAs and obnoxious neighbors who take their duties a bit too seriously can easily turn a dream come true into a nightmare full of fines for ridiculous reasons. Here, homeowners reveal the petty reasons their overbearing HOAs sent them a scathing letter that made them want to pull their hair out.

    Content has been edited for clarity.

    Remove “Dying” Tree From The Property

    Tree on the yard in snow
    Photo by Ahnaf Piash on Pexels

    “So a few years back these knuckleheads from the HOA sent me a notice concerning a ‘dying tree’ on my property and demanded I quickly remove it or I would be heavily fined. I had a total of three small trees in my yard, all of which looked completely fine. I decided to give them a call to get down to the bottom of things.

    As I spoke with the ‘manager’ of the HOA, she read the notice verbatim as if I didn’t know how to read. Patiently, I explained to her that I understood the letter, I just didn’t know which tree they were referring to. The manager escalated and then informed me that she would schedule someone to come out and show me. End of conversation.

    A couple of days later, I caught someone snooping around my yard from the HOA. I worked from home at the time, so I made my way outside to see what the commotion was about.

    I asked him, ‘Um, can I help you?’

    The HOA guy replied: ‘Yeah, uh, I’m here to inform you to remove and replace the dying tree in your yard.’

    I said, ‘Okay show me which one is dying.’

    I then watched the HOA guy point to one of the three trees in my yard. I knew right then he was out of his mind. The tree he pointed to had bright yellow leaves. ‘That one,’ he said.

    ‘That tree is not dying,’ I informed him.

    The HOA argued by saying, ‘Yes it is, the leaves are yellow and are falling off.’

    I, completely amazed, responded with, ‘Uh… it’s Fall, and trees do that.’

    The HOA guy paused for a moment then said, ‘The other tree’s leaves are not yellow, though.’

    My patience was wearing thin at this point. I said, ‘They’ll get yellow eventually, this happens every year. It’s a magical thing called Nature.’

    The HOA Guy didn’t utter another word and quietly sauntered off.

    I never heard another peep from them about the ‘dying tree’.”

    Text Source

    Join Us, Or Else

    What are you looking at?
    Photo by Diego San on Unsplash

    “Someone once told me a story about this guy:

    A plot of land was purchased by developers next to a farm. Houses were built, sold, and then an HOA was established. The HOA kept pestering the owner of the farm because he refused to join them and comply with their rules. There even came a time when they tried to fine the farmer for violating their regulations. This of course didn’t stick because the farmer had no part in the HOA and wasn’t obligated to pay anything.

    After some time, the HOA decided to install an in-ground swimming pool and a playground/picnic area for the HOA’s residents. These amenities were right next to the farmer’s land. The farmer became aggravated by the constant harassment by the HOA, so he decided to play their ‘game.’ The next time they went outside to take a dip in their pool, they found a nasty surprise waiting for them.

    The farmer moved the pig pens to the edge of his property. In this position, the pen was situated directly on the border between his property and the HOA’s recreational area. So when the HOA residents wanted to go for a swim and the wind blew just right, they got a generous whiff of approximately one hundred pigs.”

    Text Source

    No Bikes Allowed In The Garage

    Classic chrome motorbike near garage
    Photo by JOE ZOLOBKOWSKI Sr. on Pexels

    “I’ve got tons of stories, but I’ll keep this one short and sweet.

    I was told by the HOA in my neighborhood that I couldn’t store my bike in the garage because it was meant for parking my car any nothing else.

    We went back and forth with them for days. So many other residents had bikes and other items that you could normally find in a garage. Luckily, some of my neighbors helped me out by calling the HOA and asking them to point out where the rule written in the handbook. Finally, they let it go.

    This power hungry trip of theirs went on for the first two years of me living in the neighborhood. After the bike incident, they left me alone. The manager of the HOA was just an egotistical bully. This abuse of power went on for the first two years that I lived here. After that they left me alone. Eventually, the other homeowners and I managed to overthrow his place on the throne. Since then, it has made living here peaceful.”

    Text Source

    No TV Antennas

    antenna, house, roof
    Photo by Hans on Pixabay

    “I purchased a home in a brand-new development just outside of Chicago. I signed all of the paperwork including paperwork for the HOA that had been established. It was made quite clear in the regulations that the HOA absolutely forbid the display of outdoor TV antennas.

    The very next day I hired a local tech to install a TV antenna with an eight-foot boom on it. The poor guy wasn’t there for 30 minutes before someone showed up and tried to order him off the roof. This belligerent HOA member began reciting the regulation stating that antennas weren’t allowed and I signed and agreed to the paperwork. I calmly advised him that the antenna wasn’t going anywhere and to hit the road.

    This grown man began screaming loudly, but I was louder. He then began using very obscene language so I did what anyone else would have done. I called the police.

    Of course, this spooked him, but before his departure, he swore to me that I would be hearing from the HOA’s attorney and that there would be a price to pay.

    A couple days later, the HOA attorney called me and instructs me to take down the antenna within 48 hours. I proceeded to ask him if he was admitted to practice law in federal courts, to which he replied no. I asked if he was familiar with OTARD and SHVA. I highly suggested to him to do his research about antenna law because he was about to look like Bozo the Clown. From there he asked if I was an attorney. I told him the truth. I responded with, ‘no, but I am a career broadcast engineer.’ Again, I insisted that he read up on antenna law.

    Within hours he called me back and tries explaining to me that CC&Rs overruled federal law. This is when I asked him for his address. When he asked why, I told him that I now needed to know where to send the lawsuit I would be filling with the FCC for free because the FCC prosecutes these cases at no cost to the complaining party. I then asked him for his email told him that I would be sending him three pages of FCC rulings throwing out CC&Rs that he needed to look over before he made the next move.

    Another day passes and HOA attorney calls me again. He says ‘You certainly know your communications law. I guess you’re right and I’m wrong.’

    I moved out of the house 11 years ago. The antenna is still standing tall.”

    Text Source

    Your Dog Is Too “Tall”

    A close up shot of a portuguese podengo
    Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels

    “I have my share of run ins with the HOA before.

    The second time I ever had a run-in with the HOA was because my dog was too ‘tall.’

    My five-year-old rescue dog had grown taller than the allotted twenty-three inches because he was being properly cared for. One day, an HOA representative threatened to come measure my dog. My response was, ‘I will have him squat’. He didn’t like that, so he reported me to management for having a dog that was too ‘tall.’

    The manager told him that because I was widowed and living in an undeveloped side of the park, I needed the protection so my dog was more than welcomed to stay. Being that my dog was also visited the office regularly for treats and cuddles, this tremendously pleaded his case. I also was able to have the vet sign a document stating that the true height of the dog would have been impossible upon adoption even after he reached the age of five. It was on record that I adopted him as a twelve pound mangy dog and had converted him to a blossoming thirty-five pound ball of pure happiness.”

    Text Source

    No ‘Solar-Powered Clothes Dryers’

    Set of various socks drying on rope in backyard
    Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels

    “In the lovely Sunshine State, there was once a homeowner that used a clothesline to dry his clothes after washing them.

    The HOA wanted him to take it down because they claimed it made the neighborhood look ‘tacky’.

    Luckily, the power of the law was on his side.

    According to state regulations, any home that uses natural resources for operations of the home were exempt from local laws and where HOA rules apply. After learning about this, the homeowner listed his clothesline as a ‘solar power clothes dryer’. The HOA were powerless against this decision. They were even threatened with a lawsuit for trying to ignore state protected law.

    Served them right.”

    Text Source

    No Vehicle Maintenance In The Yard

    person in gray jacket standing beside black motorcycle
    Photo by Daniel @ bestjumpstarterreview.com on Unsplash

    “I used to rent a house in an HOA in San Antonio that had some pretty ridiculous rules.

    One of those rules was that vehicle maintenance of any kind was prohibited on your property. Backtracking, I’ve always been a bit of a motorhead who happily does their own oil changes, tune ups, brakes, and any other form of vehicle maintenance you could think of. As a cheap person, I never found pleasure in just taking my car to the shop if I can easily do it myself.

    However, the house was everything we dreamed of and the school in the neighborhood was a great match for our daughter, so I humored the HOA about this silly rule.

    Here’s where it gets fun. One glorious Saturday morning, I walk out of my house to drive to the gym. I hop in my Jeep and turn the key. *click* Nothing. The battery had finally given out on me. I knew it was an older battery and it was bound to happen at some point. My wife wasn’t home, so I took it upon myself to retrieve my battery charger from the garage. It took about a good twenty minutes to start the Jeep up again. Once I did, I went to the nearest auto parts store and swapped out the battery. Everything was hunky-dory.

    Fast forward three days later and I found myself opening a letter from the HOA. I was being fined two-hundred and fifty dollars for ‘performing vehicle repairs’ in my driveway. At the next HOA meeting, I brought along my receipt for the new battery and pleaded my case. They refused to drop the fee claiming that the rules still applied and that I should have called a tow truck to have my car serviced ‘like a civilized person would.’

    I told them to kiss the seat of my pants and stated that I would not be paying the fine. That’s when they told me that they would be contacting my landlord to have me evicted, so I lawyered up.

    My attorney argued that ‘vehicle maintenance’ was too broad of a term to be properly enforced. He was right, I mean, washing your car was technically vehicle maintenance, and therefore violated the rules. After that, the rules were rewritten to allow residents to wash their vehicles and perform immediate, user-level repairs such as changing a car and jumpstarting the battery.”

    Text Source

    A Dead Snake Is A Compliant Snake

    Gopher Snake
    Photo by Yuval Levy on Unsplash

    “I signed a temporary lease on a townhouse in an HOA neighborhood.

    I had an outdoor cat at the time who would bring home ‘gifts’. These offerings included small snakes that were alive and unhurt. I usually set them free outside the back fence. These snakes were harmless and I didn’t have a problem doing it.

    Then one morning, I found a rather large gopher snake in the house that I had seen before under some trees along a canal about a half block away. I was still in my pajamas, so I quickly put on a robe and slippers, then I brought the snake down to the canal.

    That evening, the HOA leader came knocking on my door with not one, but two fines in his hand. He fined me for being outside in my pajamas and for not killing the gopher snake. The HOA members did not like seeing snakes, and were upset that they saw me carry it to safety, not kill it. Per their HOA policy, as he told me, I am obligated to immediately dispose of any snake found on my property. He then told me that if I had a problem killing it, I could call on certain neighbors who would do gladly do it for me.

    I looked him straight in the eye and told him something that visible made him terrified. I said that I had no problem killing annoying creatures, but that snakes didn’t top the list.

    He pretty much left me alone after that. I was out of there as soon as my lease was up.’

    Text Source

    Your Birds Chirp Too Loud

    two birds on branch
    Photo by Jonah Pettrich on Unsplash

    “Well, my HOA horror story isn’t all that dramatic, but here goes:

    We have two lovebirds that we keep in a cage in an outdoor aviary when the weather is nice, but their true habitat is in a room we have inside my home. Not even a month had gone by before we received a noise complaint.

    That’s right. Someone complained about our birds tweeting. They are actually extremely quiet animals that make a low-pitched twitter if they ever do make any noise.

    We attended the board meeting and asked how any of them could prove if the ‘bird noises’ were coming exclusively from our lovebirds and not from the regular birds that were often chirping in everyone’s yard.

    The HOA president was visibly annoyed by the outrageous complaint. He rolled his eyes but stated that they were required to address all complaints. We ended up installing cameras and caught the complainer with his arm over our fence recording our lovebirds with his phone. I walked up to him while he was still recording and got his attention by saying ‘hello.’ This shook him right out of his boots.

    Oh and to add a cherry on top, this complainer is the same dog owner whose dog yip-yaps day and night because he doesn’t like being left alone. SMH!”

    Text Source

    Park Where We Tell You To Park

    white van parked beside white and brown house
    Photo by Tessa Wilson on Unsplash

    One weekend I was absent because I was teaching at a seminar. My girlfriend was asked to move my van from the driveway. The neighbor next door to us was having some housework done. It didn’t take them a long time to finish. Once they completed the project, she parked the vehicle back in our driveway.

    I returned to my residence on a Sunday night. Come Monday morning I received a notice from the HOA that I had been fined because of where my van was parked for just that short amount of time. I honestly forget how much the fine was, but it was something ludicrous. The letter then went on to say that it was parked incorrectly and not in one of their approved areas.

    Upon observation, I noticed that the front driver’s tire was over the driveway and parked on rocks. I measured it out of curiosity and discovered that there was half a centimeter of tread on the rocks. I had literally gotten fined for half a centimeter of one tire being off my driveway.

    We paid for it, of course. But the real kicker was that they put this incident on our ‘permanent record’, whatever that meant.”

    Text Source

    Recycling Goes Here, Not There

    green and blue trash bins
    Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

    “My daughter, granddaughter, and I moved into our new place a little over a month ago. It was a newer neighborhood, and we had moved from a different state. We had only just received our waste bins and weren’t entirely sure where to store them, so I placed the cans between my vehicle and the garage door.

    One day, I came outside to see that my recycling bin had been knocked over. I found it odd as it hadn’t been windy at all and usually a critter would target the garbage can with food in it. I shrugged it off, picked it up, then went on about my day.

    The next day, it had been knocked over, again. Another day passed and I found myself picking up my recycling bin another time, and the day after that. I was beginning to wonder what on earth was going on. Then I received an email from the HOA.

    The email had a very nasty tone. It read ‘Please refer to rule 22 and correct yourself immediately or you are subject to a fine.’ So it was revealed that they were not only the culprits behind repeatedly knocking down my recycling bin, but they also took pictures of my house with my trash bins and emailed them to me.

    What ever happened to simply stopping by, politely introducing yourselves, and respectfully advising newcomers what to do with their trash bins? They left a terrible first impression of the neighborhood. We had seen numerous homes with their bins in the exact same spot, but I didn’t bother bringing it up.”

    Text Source

    An Unhedged Obligation

    green trees beside gray concrete road
    Photo by Peter Mason on Unsplash

    “On the other side of our fence was this huge hedge. It shielded us from the road and it was on the HOA’s property. We were told at the time of closing on our house that the HOA was responsible for it.

    A few months later, we got a nasty gram stating t that we desperately needed to trim OUR hedge. I called maintenance and found myself talking to this extremely rude guy about it. He insisted that if we didn’t do it, they charge me before coming out to do it themselves. When I mentioned to him that the hedge was their responsibility, it went through one ear and out the other. So I decided to take matters into my own hands.

    I told him that I understood their request, and that I would hire a gardening company as soon as possible to remove the entire hedge. I then told him that we didn’t really care for the hedge and that we were looking forward to having a nice view.

    The guy becomes apoplectic and insisted that we couldn’t remove the hedge.

    I then patiently explained to him that if it was MY hedge, I would be removing it and if it was THEIR hedge they could trim it. All of it.

    The next day, the crew trimmed the hedge quite nicely.”

    Text Source

    Your Basketball Goal Is Too Rusty

    White basketball hoop
    Photo by Kelly on Pexels

    “You read that right.

    One day I got a letter from my HOA saying that I needed to get rid of the rust on our basketball goal. I didn’t even know it was rusty. So, I went to take a gander at it and this ‘rusted area took up a very small area on the backside of the goal. From the angle, this rust was only visible from my neighbor’s driveway, but that was only if you were close to their garage doors. Anyone else driving by with a pair of binoculars still wouldn’t have been able to see it.

    While it was obvious that my neighbor reported it, I found myself wondering why they couldn’t just come over and ask me to fix it directly. However, I discovered the wonders of Rustoleum spray paint and I was able to ‘paint’ it without having to scrape off all the rust.

    After that incident, I never spoke a word to my neighbor. Let’s just say that my opinion of them went down a couple of notches.”

    Text Source

    Mowing The Lawn At Dusk

    A lawn mower on the grass
    Photo by Bryce Carithers on Pexels

    “This may not be as funny as some of the other answers, but it is a very true and very cautionary tale.

    One Sunday I decided to mow my lawn at exactly five pm, an hour before the sun went down. I happened to catch my neighbor two houses down, glowering at me, fuming, then looking wildly around before returning his gaze towards me peacefully mowing the grass. He then began to shake his head.

    ‘I wonder what his problem is?‘ I thought to myself.

    The next morning I had a handwritten anonymous piece of paper under my windshield wiper. It said that that mowing the lawn on a Sunday was ‘inconsiderate’ and I needed to check the rules according to the HOA. It was pretty obvious who wrote it, but he didn’t sign it. It was certainly news to me, so I checked the regulations just in case I was a so called ‘inconsiderate’ neighbor. There was nothing to be found. I even emailed the HOA manager. He said he wasn’t aware of any such rule.

    Thinking back on it, it’s not like I did it at eight am to wake everyone. This was late in the afternoon. Dusk.

    So, I ignored the slip of paper, knowing I had the support of the HOA themselves.

    My neighbor passed six months later after suffering a brain aneurysm.”

    Text Source

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