Buckle up for some ludicrous HOA members with no boundaries and no common sense(or decency). When are we going to get rid of these cults for good? Content edited for clarity.
They Crossed A Line
“I lived in a townhouse community for about seven months after I first got married. Most of the residents were older and retired, or snowbirds that came to Arizona for the winter.
Well, it all started with the HOA trying to claim I was too young to live there. My wife owned the home before we were married and there were no age restrictions in the HOA document. Then they said I could not park my truck in the driveway, it had to be in the garage. The garage was too small for my truck and the rules very clearly allowed it to be in the driveway. Then they tried to claim it was a commercial vehicle and not allowed in the community per their rules. This was laughable. It was a 2000 Ford Ranger with a toolbox in the bed, my personal vehicle, and they tried to claim the toolbox made it a commercial vehicle.
They lost on everything they tried to throw at us, there were lots of little things as well, the final straw was when they said I could not put up my flag after 9/11 happened.
I got my revenge on all of them in the end. When we moved to the house we had been building, we went in and totally redid the townhouse with top-of-the-line everything. Then we sold it for 75k more than any other home in the community, forcing any of them that wanted to sell to do the same thing.”
“We had one neighbor in a ‘gated community’ (no actual gates. they just called the entries gates), who never missed an opportunity to call Security on us over things the great majority of which were not violations. We would patiently and without rancor, walk them through whatever was being complained about and thank them for their time. Only once or twice did they even ask us to change anything.
Security got so tired of them that they stopped coming. When they tried to shift their constant harassment of us to our overworked local sheriffs, they got a kindly (to me) Deputy who was about three hours late getting to go home to his family. He was not amused. That was supposed to be the end of that.
But it was when they broke the law we got true satisfaction.
We got the opportunity to report them for using a drone flying over our property to spy on us. This is illegal in our town. I was able to flip the drone upside down with a leaf blower and cause it to crash. When I handed it to Security they were not amused. Check mate.”
A Not-So-Private Privacy Fence
“I live on a corner lot. The neighbor beside/behind me is in some way associated with owning the HOA. I’ve had a few issues to say the least.
I had a feeling I might have issues when I went to the gate a couple of days after I bought the house to get a transmitter for the gate leading into our community. She told me she was just about to send a notice out to the owners to take care of the lawn at my property and she didn’t know it had been sold. It wasn’t bad but I told her I was moving in and would take care of it.
They tried to give me grief about the edging around my trees in the front and side yard, telling me it needed to be mulched. Those trees cover a significant part of those areas and enough mulch to cover it would be expensive. I could understand it IF the rest of the houses in the area actually did this, but they DON’T.
Shortly after that, I installed a swing for my son in a tree in my front yard. While I was doing it the neighbor across the street stopped by and said that that was a great idea and he was sure my son would love it. I told him that we would see. I told him I figured it was only a matter of time before I got a complaint. It took two days to get an email from the HOA telling me I needed to take it down because swings ‘aren’t allowed in trees in the front yard.’ They could only be in the back yard apparently.
The next time I got a complaint about the mulching, I drove around the neighborhood and took pictures of all the other yards that looked exactly like mine with no mulching. Guess what else I took pictures of; at least five other houses with swings in trees or front yards. I printed out the photos and took them up to the girl at the HOA and asked why I was getting harassed about this stuff when they obviously weren’t enforcing it on anybody else. She claimed she was sending out notices to a huge list of people but that was the last I heard from them. Until recently.
I had a tree almost come down on my house in my backyard and had to call a tree service out to cut it down. I had them cut down a few other dead trees and trim back a lot of branches while they were at it. Instead of paying them to haul it off, I told them to just leave it in the yard and we have been using it as firewood in our fire pit. Apparently, the neighbor behind us didn’t like the pile of wood in our backyard and called the HOA to report us having a fire hazard.
I got a call from the HOA telling me that I needed to dispose of my fire hazard. I asked them what they were talking about. They explained my pile of wood needed to be removed from my backyard because a neighbor had complained about it.
I have a 6-foot privacy fence surrounding my backyard that is bordered by two neighbors. Nothing in my yard can be seen from the street. The neighbors to one side of me are friends and our kids play together. I’ve already told you who the other neighbor is. I knew exactly who made the complaint.
I asked the guy on the phone how they could even see the pile of wood in my backyard. I explained to him that I have a privacy fence and the only way they could see it is if they are looking over the fence into my backyard. I also explained to him that if they were doing that then they were invading my privacy and I wanted to file a formal complaint with the HOA for that invasion of privacy and make sure he called them to let them know of my complaint.
My brother decided to cut the wood into smaller pieces and stack it near the fire pit over the course of a week or so. So my ‘fire hazard’ moved locations. I haven’t heard anything from them since. I get the feeling my house gets notified a little more often because of who lives next to me but unless they try enforcing the crap they complain to me about on everybody else they are going to have a hard time getting anywhere with it. It is annoying as hell though.”
Short A Few Marbles
“I encountered a terrible HOA member. And I made it my life’s mission to make her miserable. I am a volunteer firefighter and paramedic. I was signed up to cover a shift, but instead of waiting at the fire station, I brought the paramedic fly car home with me. You know, so I could selfishly be home, in my own house with my family, while I did what would otherwise be a $ 50,000-a-year job for free.
The fly car is a fire-engine-red SUV, with the fire dept name and PARAMEDIC ADVANCED LIFE SUPPORT on it. It has a ‘Star of life’ in the windows, and the heart rhythm going down the stripe. It has 911 painted on it, and it has ‘GOVT EXEMPT’ license plates, too.
My stupid neighbor, who was the ultimate definition of ‘a Karen,’ even though her name is Debbie, called not just the HOA, but the POLICE.
You are not allowed to have a commercial vehicle with lettering in your driveway after six pm. I told the HOA guy, that’s not a Commercial Vehicle, that’s a GOVERNMENT vehicle, an EMERGENCY VEHICLE, and it can be anywhere it needs to be. Until 8 a.m., it needed to be at my house unless somebody in this town did something that began with, ‘Hey y’all watch this!’ before then. I showed the HOA guy the GOVT EXEMPT plates, and then the cops basically told them the same thing.
Well, she kept pushing… and pushing… She was calling the police chief, the fire chief, and the captain of EMS (funny since she should have known who that was considering it was my last name). Eventually, the fire district lawyer firmly put his foot down, making it clear that anyone authorized to be in possession of a district vehicle could take them anywhere in the district for any purpose at any time, and anything other than quiet acceptance of this constitutes ‘interference with governmental administration’ and/or ‘obstruction of a public safety official.’
She fumed and threw a tantrum and passed around petitions. It was hilarious because the other neighbors kind of loved the idea that a paramedic response would be a minute and a half away. For example, when the guy across the street had his heart attack, I was literally ‘On Scene’ before the tones went out because the teenage kids ran and fetched me while the mom was calling 911.
She just did not seem to get it, ‘What, is he above the law?’ YES.
‘So what you’re saying is the law doesn’t apply to him?’ YES.
God, you’re finally getting it, maybe you’re not nearly as stupid as you look, Debbie.
But now that I knew it bothered good ole Debbie so much, and because she persisted in giving me the stink eye, I decided to be a total prick and sign out the fly car whenever it was not otherwise covered. I also enacted an ‘open house’ policy for any other emergency personnel.
Any time, day or night, if the lighted Dalmation is on the porch, come on by for coffee and a snack. Just park whatever you are driving – Engine 302, Ladder 305, Rescue 308, y’all come on down. I have coffee, popcorn, little pizza snacks, Backdraft, Ladder 49, AND Bringing out the Dead. Look, guys, I have the ENTIRE ‘Emergency!’ DVD box set – all six seasons. 122 episodes of Roy and Jonny and the adventures of Engine 51.
She was so pissed and hasn’t gotten over it since.”