Sometimes in-laws can be quite the judgemental type when it comes to the partner their child has chosen. The act of simply trying to get along with them could feel like an impossible-to-finish marathon. In the end, once true feelings are out in the open, it can be hard to ever look at that person the same way. Here, these people share the one thing their MIL said that hurt them to their core.
All stories are edited for clarity.
Tell Me How You Really Feel
“When I was engaged to my now ex, I saw a text from his mother come through on his phone. I know I probably shouldn’t have done this, but I unlocked his phone (we knew each other’s passwords).
To my dismay, after reading the messages, I discovered that my fiance and soon-to-be mother-in-law were talking about me. His mother was saying very hateful things about me. She called me out my name several times. Seeing the ‘B’ word and the ‘W’ word being used to describe me was very hurtful. What hurt the most, was that my husband was just going along with it. Not a single one of his responses defended me in any way. We had been together for about three years. At the time it really hurt my feelings.
The only person I had ever been with was her son. On top of that, I never met her in person because she lived in Mexico. Her daughter, my fiance’s sister, had been bad-mouthing me to her even though I hadn’t met her either.
Despite my discovery, I let it go. I was with her son for a total of eight years after.
To this day I never confronted my MIL. She never disrespected me to my face, but at I always knew how she really felt about me. No matter how ‘sincere’ her smiles were.
The lesson: Don’t open any chats even if you see them talking about you.”
“I Cannot Win”
“My MIL never liked me. My husband’s ex-wife was a terrible woman who cheated and put their daughter in danger. Despite this, it was obvious that my MIL preferred her over me. Before we met, my husband wound up moving in with his parents for two years after the split. His parents remained close with his ex for the sake of his daughter.
Shortly before we met, my partner made an offer on a house a few miles from his parents. Because of our work schedules, commutes, and childcare needs, he invited me to move in.
I worked and paid my own bills, but planned to contribute childcare, groceries, cooking, cleaning, utilities, money for the mortgage, and other necessities to help out.
But in his mother’s eyes, I will always be seen as a gold-digging loser who took her son away. Never mind that I make more money than my husband. I wasn’t even in the picture when he decided to move.
My mother-in-law still favors my husband’s ex-wife today. I can never do anything right according to her. She regularly invites us to her house on holidays and vacations but then says I’m not allowed to go.
Here’s the kicker:
When I don’t actually show up, my MIL gets upset that I ‘exclude myself.’
I cannot win with this crazy woman.”
Some Major Doubts
“Years back, I went to a bar alone and ran into my husband’s friend who worked there.
Ever since then, my mother-in-law has sworn up and down that, my son is not her grandchild. In her mind, drinks and a night of fun with a family friend turned into me getting knocked up.
My mother-in-law spread awful rumors about me that quickly spread throughout both sides of the family. To make matters worse, my mother-in-law demanded a DNA test and treats my son differently than all her other grandchildren because of a rumor SHE started.
I was thankful that my husband took my side. I know it must have been hard for him. My mother threatened to sue her after the DNA test. We used to stay with my mother-in-law, but after all was done, I had no choice but to uproot my family and move far away from the drama.
My mother-in-law has tried to destroy my marriage countless times after that, but this by far was the worst thing she has ever done. I was heartbroken, but not as much as my husband.
We avoid his mother at all costs to protect our sanity.”
“Two years after my son was born, I decided it was time to buy my wife a new car. So, I took a small loan and paid the rest in cash to buy a nice family sedan.
I, however, still drive my twelve-year-old car. It may be out of date, but it runs and gets me from point A to point B with no issues. One evening I was sitting outside with my mother-in-law. As we made small talk, I casually shared how I thought the new car was a smart purchase. Then I shared that I was saving up for a new car for myself.
For no reason, my mother-in-law let snort before she looked at me and said, ‘Maybe if you didn’t have a useless degree and a better-paying job you wouldn’t have to wait to buy yourself a new car too.’
At first, I thought my ears were playing tricks on me. Then my mother-in-law went on about how she wasn’t sure about our financial stability after making such a big purchase.
That wasn’t the only time my wife’s mother said something out of pocket to me. Most of the time, her sly comments were about my ability to take care of her daughter and grandchild.
It was all quite a stunt for my mother-in-law to pull, especially when I knew she didn’t work her damn self!”
Pass It On
“Several years ago, I was pregnant for the first time. I knew my entire life was about to change, so I was full of excitement, fear, and anticipation.
As I got further along in the pregnancy, I set up an appointment to find out the gender of my baby.
Well, during that visit, I was told I was having a girl. When I shared the news with my husband and MIL, they were disappointed! I’m talking full-on temper-tantrum, ‘How dare you have a girl?’ disappointed.
Do you know how it feels to know your entire life is about to be irrevocably altered and someone has the audacity to be disappointed?
My MIL said, ‘Oh well, pink and lace are lovely but it would be nice to have someone to carry on the name.’ I was shocked. Surely someone passing on the family’s DNA was just as important?
It wasn’t as if we were royalty and we had to keep the seat in the family or anything. It was just a last name, and it wasn’t anything special, to be honest.
Oh, and for the record, my baby actually turned out to be a boy. We found that out a little later in the pregnancy. It irritated me a little less that my MIL and husband were happy about it.”