Navigating conflicts with parents can be a tricky terrain, filled with emotions and strong opinions.
In this collection, individuals turn to the internet to seek guidance and opinions on whether they were in the wrong or not in their recent disputes with their parents.
Join us as we delve into these complex family dynamics and weigh the verdicts on who might be the a**hole in each situation.
All content has been edited for clarity.
That’s Literal Stealing
“My great-aunt established savings accounts for all the female members of our family because she believed in the value of education, even when our culture didn’t prioritize it for women.
She received her education while living with her father in London, eventually attending university and becoming a doctor. After marrying a British man, they moved to America and enjoyed a prosperous life. Throughout her life, she financially supported the education of as many nieces and grandnieces as possible.
Upon her passing, she left funds for every female relative she could reach. However, my parents gained access to the accounts designated for my sister and me, using the money to cover my brother’s wedding expenses. My sister wasn’t concerned since she married shortly after high school and had no plans for further education.
When I finished high school and went to the bank for education funds, I discovered most of it had vanished, leaving only around $13,000. Questioning my parents revealed they had needed the money, which left me furious. I resorted to taking out student loans and moving out. While my actions have caused my family to view me with shame, I stand by my decision.
I’m currently pursuing legal action to reclaim the money meant for me, despite my entire family’s disapproval. They believe I’m a terrible person for making our private family matters public and prioritizing money over family bonds. My American friends support my choice, but they don’t fully grasp our cultural nuances. To be honest, neither do I.
My brother attempted to resolve the situation by offering to pay for my university education if I dropped the lawsuit. I accepted on the condition of a legally binding contract, but he deemed me an untrusting individual and criticized me for not having faith in him. I reminded him that he shouldn’t have accepted the money designated for my education to fund his wedding. This situation has generated significant embarrassment within our community, and I feel conflicted but resolute in my pursuit, as I don’t want to carry unnecessary debt.
It Had To Be Said
“I’m a 19-year-old male with a 20-year-old autistic brother. He can be manipulative and has figured out that threatening meltdowns often gets him what he wants. While medical professionals consider him high-functioning and capable of understanding his actions, my parents believe he doesn’t comprehend them and, consequently, never discipline him. Despite doctor’s advice, they think they know better. Their expectations have led to my life revolving around my brother. I’ve had to give up on pursuing my own interests, such as sports, work, and friendships, as they disrupt his routine. I tried not to harbor resentment, but it’s challenging.
Now, I’m planning to move several states away to live with my grandparents for school, which has caused my parents to freak out. They’re guilt-tripping me into staying, citing my brother’s needs. Usually, I respond by expressing understanding for their feelings but reiterate my intention to leave. However, in a recent heated argument, my mother claimed that I was selfish and about to ruin my brother’s life with my decision. She insisted they had been equally good parents to both of us.
I became frustrated and told her she was delusional if she thought they were good parents to me. They made my life revolve around my brother, and I had no autonomy or personal space. I asserted that my brother wasn’t the center of the universe, despite her attempts to make him so. I accused her and my father of selfishness for neglecting me in favor of my brother, who skillfully manipulated them to get his way. I stated that his routine was not my problem and that it was their responsibility to make necessary adjustments. I asked if she really expected me not to live my life because of him. She started crying, and I walked away, locking myself in my room.
Now, my father is demanding an apology for what I said, but I’m refusing. My grandpa expressed pride in my standing up for myself, but my parents continue to demand an apology, insisting I was out of line. I’m uncertain whether I’m in the wrong here.
They Played Themselves
“My parents had high expectations of my independence when I turned 18. They handed over the money they’d saved for my education and started charging me rent. Fortunately, I received a partial scholarship and found a job in the city where my university was located, so I moved there before the school year began. I managed to get by with the money from my parents, the scholarship, and my wages.
During this time, I rarely, if ever, spoke with my parents because I was quite busy. It seems they decided not to treat my younger siblings the same way, as they didn’t offer them the option of moving out for university. Both of my siblings lived at home throughout their university years and even afterward.
Now, at 34, I have a decent job and a wonderful girlfriend whom I plan to marry this summer. I extended an invitation to my parents and siblings for the wedding. They called me to ask why they weren’t more involved in the wedding preparations.
In response, I explained that they hadn’t been part of my life for 16 years, and I was being generous by inviting them. They acknowledged making mistakes when I was young but believed it was all in the past and that I should move on.
Against my fiancée’s advice, I sent them an itemized bill for everything I paid for myself, which they freely provided to my brother and sister. I told them that if they wanted to be a part of my life, they needed to make amends.
Their response was that they couldn’t afford it because they were still in debt from helping my siblings. I laughed at this and informed them that I hoped to see them at the wedding before hanging up.
Now, my family is reaching out to me, expressing how much I’m hurting my parents. The thing is, I don’t want their money or anything from them, except their presence at my wedding. If they can’t manage that, then I’m content with our yearly phone call.
That Just Sounds Like A Creative Solution
“My parents have a chronic issue with punctuality, often arriving late for various events and gatherings. It’s particularly my mother’s fault, as she struggles to grasp the concept of being on time. While she’s a wonderful mother whom I love dearly, punctuality just isn’t her strong suit.
There have been countless disappointments, from missed graduation ceremonies to delayed birthday parties and even my father’s retirement dinner. I’ve seen her chatting away on the phone with her sister when she should be at my baby sister’s dance recital. She waved me off when I reminded her and ended up arriving after my sister had already performed. We’ve all grown accustomed to this, and my dad has given up on trying to make her punctual.
When my now-wife (F28) made it clear that if my mother were late for our wedding, there would be consequences, she wasn’t entirely joking. She had witnessed my mom and dad arriving halfway through my cousin’s quinceañera. So, I took matters into my own hands.
During the wedding invitation process, I spoke with the printer and had one special invitation made with a ceremony start time that was an hour earlier than the actual time. When my mother left the house and saw she was going to be late, she panicked. However, upon arriving and seeing that others were still arriving and parking, she assumed we were running behind schedule and went along with it.
The wedding ceremony went beautifully, as did the pictures and the reception. Everything seemed fine until last Sunday when my parents joined us for a big family dinner. We hadn’t started grilling until they arrived, and when my mother asked why everyone wasn’t eating, we explained that we knew we’d be waiting for them because they’re consistently late.
She argued that she wasn’t always late and brought up my wedding as an example. I knew she was mistaken, as they arrived 45 minutes after the time stated on their invitation. It was then that my cousin John, a bit of a troublemaker, snorted at her comment, prompting some chuckles from others. This led my mother to ask what was so funny, and I decided to come clean about the “special” invitation.
Now, she’s upset with me for not trusting her and making her look foolish in front of everyone. If only my cousin had held back, she might never have found out.