Sisterly disagreements are a common occurrence, and most of the time, they’re forgiven and forgotten. However, not all conflicts are easily resolved. Usually, each sister believes she is right while perceiving the other as being in the wrong.
But let’s reflect on this: who do you think bears the responsibility for their conflict and should be considered the one who acted unreasonably? Content has been edited for clarity.
Where’s The Maid Of Honor?
“My sister and I have been really close all our life. She is the one person who always supports me and is there for me. When she got married 6 years ago, I was her maid of honor (MOH). She has been waiting for my wedding since. I had discussed many times with her about my wedding wishes and she has always supported me and kind of dreamt with me.
Finally, my boyfriend proposed to me last October. We planned to get married on Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, my sister was pregnant with her baby due on March 10th. She knew she wouldn’t be able to travel abroad for my destination wedding. She requested me and my husband to change the wedding date when we announced our date and venue. I tried to convince my fiancé as well but he and his family didn’t want to change plans. I planned my wedding exactly as I dreamed of and my sister helped me with everything, dress selection/menu/guest list. But I could see she was a bit sad and heavy-hearted.
My fiancé suggested that once we get back from our honeymoon and she is done having her baby, we can have a big party in her backyard for all our friends who couldn’t come abroad for the wedding. I had a beautiful and grand wedding with my family and his on Feb 17th. It was everything my sister and I talked about and more. I tried to video call with my sister but she didn’t seem very interested.
She seemed fine when I visited her in the hospital after her delivery. I visited her again last weekend and she finally said that she was very heartbroken and sad that I had my wedding without her. She said I could have waited a few more weeks as my wedding wasn’t on VDay anyway and had a spring or summer wedding.
My mother later confirmed that my sister had complained to her many times before my wedding, sometimes in tears. They didn’t want to say anything to me to upset me during wedding planning. It’s not like I didn’t want her in my wedding but it just happened that timing was not right. She got to be my MOH-ish as she did all the other MOH tasks other than being in the ceremony. Unfortunately, my reception got delayed a bit so by the time we had speeches it was 3 a.m. at my sister’s place so her plan of giving a speech through video call was also canceled.
Now she is telling me that she doesn’t want a party in her backyard with a new baby and wants me to have my party somewhere else, where she would attend as a guest but won’t make a toast or anything. She hasn’t said it but she seemed to be mad at me for having my wedding. I am angry at her for being a jerk as she is mad about something that happened and cannot be changed. I have postponed the party and I have decided to not talk with her for some time which my husband agrees with but my parents think I am an AH to my sister, AITA?”
My Sister vs My Husband
“My sister ‘Claire’ has struggled with her inability to have kids for years. She gets all kinds of questions from people about when she’ll have kids but somehow she focuses on what my husband says about the topic and complains about how he constantly makes backhanded comments about her inability to have kids.
She once claimed he told her ‘women in their 30s+ have lesser chances to bear children’ or that one time she claimed he mocked her infertility by calling her garden ‘barren’ just like her. I admit that my husband is the type to dish it out but her complaining seemed excessive because she never liked him anyway.
Last week, we got together for dinner at my parents’ house. My sister came downstairs later while our mom and I were in the kitchen. She told me that my husband ‘suggested’ she back out of her IVF treatment and find ‘better use for the money’ when she announced wanting to try IVF.
She went on about how insensitive and hurtful his words were. I felt upset. I told her she was right to be mad but she needed to stop coming to me to complain about him as if he was my son and try to speak to him instead. She snapped at me saying she already talked to him but since he’s ‘my husband’ and ‘I’ brought him ‘into’ the family then I should be the one to ‘handle’ him.
I told her her reasoning didn’t make any sense but she called me selfish and cruel just like him.
It got so overwhelming when my mom sided with her, even going as far as to say I was enabling him. I left and went home. My husband said my sister is just being too sensitive because he was just giving his honest opinion when she brought up the IVF, and said that if she has an issue with him she should tell him to his face. He also said that she was probably looking for an excuse to pick an argument with me and that I was innocent and had nothing to do with this despite her trying to involve me.
Neither she nor my parents are speaking to me as of now. AITA?”
How Could She Do That To Her Own Father?
“Context from 2010: In my book, some things can never be forgiven. It started with my sister stealing my father’s pain medication while he was on his literal deathbed in hospice dying of cancer. As in, she tried to pick the lock to get to the morphine pump he was on, while our mom and I stepped out for a bite to eat. We were taking shifts, and she had already eaten before showing up high. No charges were pressed, but she wasn’t allowed back onto the premises. I ended up taking care of him and my mother by myself for the two weeks he was there. She knew I was not happy with what she had done, and I didn’t really talk to her except as necessary until Thanksgiving 2010.
Thanksgiving 2010 is when it all went down. Dinner was at my mother’s place, my sister still lived with her at the time, and it was going to be me, my boyfriend, and most of my mother’s family.
My sister started talking trash about me to the rest of the family saying how I never helped her, and that I wouldn’t lift a finger to help mom. She continued on, even though everyone was trying to get her to calm down. I got mad, and that’s when it came to a head. I let the family know what she did at the hospice, and how she was banned from there as our father passed away.
She threw a tantrum, seeing as everyone wasn’t going against me like she wanted, and started saying she just needed help and that she would call 911 to go to the mental hospital.
The last thing I said to her was, ‘Just get out of my life.’
I left the dinner and never looked back. Her running to the mental hospital is something she always did for attention. Get a 48-hour admit and not have to face the problems she caused.
Recently, she’s been reaching out to family, trying to get my number. Wants to make amends and has been ‘sober for five years.’ I don’t want anything to do with her. My life has been peaceful since I cut her out. And while some members of my family are giving her another chance for the 895th time, a lot aren’t either. They do think I should at least talk to her.
So, am I the a-hole for not wanting her back in my life in any way, shape, or form?”