These pizza lovers are bat-sh*t crazy and we don't blame these pizza delivery guys one bit for never wanting to go back to these houses ever again.
“He would tip me 300 dollars every time…”
There was an older man who suffered from dementia that would order four fountain drinks from my shop, and nothing else. He would tip $300 every time, so after a while I let my manager know. We decided to contact his family to let them know we wouldn’t be taking orders from him anymore, and advised them to try to prevent the man from contacting other pizza places.
“Alan decided to open the door stark naked…”
I used to be a delivery driver for Pizza Hut. I worked the Sunday afternoon shifts and there was this one man who would order a supreme pizza every week. I was always the one to deliver his order because most of the time I was the only driver on duty at that time of day. Alan was a nice, quiet man who had a lovely front porch. One day, I didn’t take his delivery for some reason. Poor Marvon took the delivery instead on the day that Alan decided to open the door stark naked. Alan wanted to show me (a small redheaded girl) the goods, not big black Marvon. Alan never got another delivery.
“Mostly places where we got robbed…”
Yea we had a few no delivery places. Mostly places where we got robbed and another where someone (not one of us) got murdered. So we stopped going to those places.
“Whenever we arrived she would always ‘accidentally’ drop her towel…”
A lady on our delivery route was always just getting out of the shower and whenever we arrived she would always “accidentally” drop her towel. There wasn’t a single driver in our shop who hadn’t seen every disgusting fold and lump on the front of that 300 lbs acne-covered body. The manager finally warned her that if she did it again she would be banned. She of course did it again, and I like to think the resultant loss of home-delivered pizza translated into a net benefit for her physical health just as it had done for our mental health.
“The back door was open and the dog was charging around the house…”
Delivered pizza in NJ and one time I went on a porch and saw a snarling Rottweiler behind the door. Not a big deal—it happens a lot. The lady pushes him back, we do the pizza transaction and as I’m turning to go the lady said, “Oh my god, he’s out…. ” The back door was open and the dog was charging around the house to the porch. I tried to open the door to get inside but the lady screamed, “no, the really bad one is inside” and I saw a bigger Rottie just inside the hall so I stuck myself between the screen door and the real door. As I’m trapped in an angry dog sandwich, the outside dog bites my calf. Not much damage, but I was bleeding. The manager came later to talk to the lady and as soon as the lady started talking to him another small mutt dog zipped out the door and bit him on the hand. He made the call on no more pizza for them.
“They always wanted him to wait until they ate a slice first…”
My friend who is a pizza guy asked his manager to ban a house because they always wanted him to wait until they ate a slice first and then complained the pizza was not well made and asked for some discount or coupon and ended up not paying any tip and acted really angry.
“Thirty seconds later, the guy bolted. My manager, who is a frequent gym goer, leapt the counter and gave chase…”
We had a guy and two girls order separately, then grab the pizzas and run. As the guy was paying the girls picked up the $100 pizza order and left. Thirty seconds later, the guy bolted. My manager, who is a frequent gym goer, leapt the counter and gave chase. The girls drove off in their car while the guy was trying to flee on foot. My manager chased him three blocks before the girls came back and picked him up in their car. Unfortunately for them, one of the guy’s in the kitchen went to school with the crooks and had all their contact info. We messaged them all on Facebook, threatened to contact the police and got them to pay for the pizzas the next morning. We also put them on the no delivery list.
“They kept calling us up with orders under fake names and wrong addresses…”
I delivered to the dorms when I was in college in the 80s, back before credit cards could be used to pay for pizza. In the largest men’s dorm, we had a “war” with some of the residents after they got pissed when we wouldn’t accept an expired coupon for a 14-pizza order. So they kept calling us up with orders under fake names and wrong addresses and made life hell for us over the course of a few weeks. We didn’t have caller ID back then, so we couldn’t block the calls. So we stopped delivering to anyone in that dorm. As we were the cheapest pizza in town, that did not go over well with them. The RAs got every student in that dorm together and told them to knock it the foff or get kicked out. So we tried to deliver again and the same s happened. So we banned that dorm forever.
“He would always refuse to pay and hassle the delivery guy…”
When I worked at a pizza place, we had this one person who we wouldn’t deliver to because he would always refuse to pay and hassle the delivery guy, saying the pizza was cold, took too long, wasn’t the right order, whatever. He probably got a couple free pizzas before we stopped bothering to deliver to him anymore.
“I started to walk away and this shady dude jumped out of the bushes at me…”
There was a really nasty apartment complex in one area of Sacramento. One night a new guy took an order from there and I was about to call back and tell them we don’t accept orders from that complex, when in came two cops to pick up their pizza. They listened in and offered to tag along. So we made the pizza and I loaded into my little truck. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, the cop turned off ALL his lights and coasted into the spot next to mine. I walked up and no one would pay for the pizza. I started to walk away and this shady dude jumped out of the bushes at me. Instantly, every light came on on the cop car with both spotlights pointing right at me and the cops sprinted out of their car. Dude steps way, way back, I walk back to my car, and ended up giving the cops an extra free pizza that night.
“They said they had to finish the hot dogs before they would pay me…”
I was excited to deliver to this huge house up the street because I figured I’d get a sexy tip from the wealthy owners. When I got there, these two dudes opened the door in their underwear. I was like umm that’ll be X dollars and X cents. They said “yeah I’ve got the cash, it’s inside” and they invited me in. I walked in, avoiding eye contact with these two guys, and went to the kitchen. They had like 3 exotic birds just flying around their house and the two guys were cooking raw hotdogs in a saucepan. They said they had to finish the hot dogs before they would pay me. They cook up a couple hot dogs, pay me for the pizza, and then asked if I wanted to have a threesome. I said that I was good, but they insisted. I started walking to the door and they followed me chanting “three, some! Three, some! Three, some!” I fu* booked it and burned rubber out of their driveway.
“The lady hands me a check that’s covered in white out…”
I worked at a pizza place when I was a kid and there was this lady who ordered from us that we had never delivered to before. I get there and I’m at a run down trailer in the middle of a notoriously sketchy trailer park. Six kids answer the door, all chanting “pizza.” The lady hands me a check that’s covered in white out and I’m looking at the lady like, you have to be kidding me. But in that moment, with all those hungry kids, I took the check and went back to the store. Took the hit for accepting a bad check and the lady got blacklisted but at least those kids got a pizza party.
There’s also a “deliver first” list…
My house got put on a “deliver first” sort of list because we ordered so much and so often. Eventually, they knew our phone number and address by heart. Sometimes they even gave us a discount.
