America's Buffet: Insane Asylum Or Affordable Eatery? These 17 buffet horror stories have us driving by Golden Corral with a ten-foot pole.
Mental Scars
"One time I saw this surrealistically obese man circling the buffet. He loaded his plate with mountains of all the high carb stuff, a Matterhorn of macaroni salad, that kind of thing. Then he got another plate that he loaded up with jojo potato wedges, went over to the dessert bar and drowned the potatoes in chocolate syrup. That's when we made eye contact. Eyes sunk deep in his fat, and they were fairly crying out "Don't judge me. I can't help it." Haunts me to this day." Source
Come On
"I used to work at a Chinese buffet. One time, this guy about 18 years old at the ice cream counter didn't have time to react and puked in the ice cream cans and on the floor. Looked at it, said nothing, and just walked away back to his table. Another time, this old lady was putting a plate full of chicken wings in her purse (probably to bring back home or something)… no bags nothing, just bare chicken wings directly in there." Source
Child Abuse
"All you can eat prime rib special. First round you got prime rib, veggies, mashed potatoes. Subsequent plates just prime rib. Guy did 8 plates. Another time, lady came in with two small kids. Said she wouldn't pay for two kids because they wouldn't be eating. We were curious where the kids went at one point and found she was feeding them under the table like dogs." Source
Fatal Fart
"Once witnessed a man eat 4 plates of food piled high (I'm talking southern food, so it was all fried foods) claim he was having a heart attack and clutch his chest, then let the biggest, most foul smelling fart I have ever experienced. After he laughed about it, he continued to go back and eat two more plates of entrees, and a plate of desserts." Source
When In Rome
Colourbox
"At a Golden Corral in Omaha this older gentleman, skinny guy ate like 5 plates and my friend kept noticing him running to the bathroom over the course of the 5 hours he was there. Eventually he followed him into the bathroom and heard him vomiting in a stall. He was bingeing and purging his meal over and over again. He was asked to leave while in the stall. The guy left so fast as he seemed very embarrassed. Left a gross mess as well on the ground and back of the toilet." Source
Some Call It Art
"I once saw a really fat dude at a Chinese Buffett smear ranch dressing from his wrist to elbow then as he ate he brushed the food along the dressing before putting into his mouth." Source
Buddy…
"Went to a pizza buffet and the table next to us was a couple with a really chubby kid that looked around 10 or 11. He proceeded to put down plate after plate of food. Later I went to the bathroom and he was in the stall puking his poor adolescent guts out. The saddest part was seeing him on my way out working on another plate. Still think about that every time I go to a buffet almost 20 years later." Source
The Old Lick Trick
"I was about five at the time and my uncle took me to Hometown Buffet. He told me there was a trick to tell if the rolls were fresh or not. His trick was to pick up a roll, lick it, and then if it wasn't fresh enough, he put it back." Source
Happens To The Best Of Us
"Golden Corral employee here… Once this very big lady started shitting her pants on the way to the bathroom, the s^it kept falling through her shorts on the floor… in front of the bars and everything and everyone… after going to the bathroom she proceeded to go back to her table and keep on eating. True story." Source
A New Kind Of Hero
"I was in a Golden Corral by the chocolate fountain when a toddler pours his drink into the fountain and ruins it. The manager goes ballistic because they had just set it up and now they would have to replace the chocolate. Then this man comes up and decides he wants some chocolate brownies, but he can't as the machine is being cleaned. The guy puts his tray down, goes to the toddler's family's car, and slashes their tires. That man was a different kind of devoted that the world needs." Source
Seriously Bro
"I once saw a little kid sneeze directly into one of the chicken dishes at a buffet. He was the perfect height for his head to be under the protective glass and directly over the container. His dad saw him and gave him a slight tap on the head like "not cool, bro" then they casually walked off to eat. All forms of buffet have been ruined for me since then." Source
Welcome To The Jungle
"Went to Golden Corral (for those not familiar, GC is the Walmart of buffets) with a friend's family in high school. Sat down with my food, they started to pray. While they were praying and I politely sat with my head down but my eyes open, a large sweaty man next to me looked me dead in the eye, barfed all over the floor, and then walked out of the restaurant like nothing happened." Source
Who Wants Chowder?
"When I was fourteen I ate seven plate-fulls of clams. Not just filling the surface area either but piled high. I got so sick from the bad quality asian buffet clams that I was throwing up clams out my nose. That was the most disgusting act of gluttony that I ever participated in." Source
Bleak
"I saw a really obese lady (in a wheelchair and breathing tube) with plates stacked all over the table. She was going HAM on a cake, but stopped to breathe really hard. 'HUFF HUFF HUFFFFFFF, PUFFFFFF' And then took another huge bite." Source
The Leaning Tower Of Pizza
"A fight broke out between a customer and a manager at an all-you-can-stack restaurant. (You pay for a plate, and stack all you want on it) This guy stacked his plate about 12+ inches high with food. As he was reaching for a serving spoon he dropped it. He demanded another and the manager got pissed. He refused to give the man a refund and pointed to a sign that said something about paying for dropped food. Apparently not the first time this had happened." Source
Pie Hoarder
Wikipedia
"Watched a woman come in, go right to the dessert section, and pick up 4 plates of pumpkin pie. Then, as soon as more plates of pie were set out, she gets up before she's even finished eating the four slices she's already grabbed, cuts right in front of a kid about to grab a slice, and picks up 4 more plates. I should mention she didn't even finish them all. There were like 2 and 3/4 slices of pie on her table when she left." Source
They Would
"Former Chinese Buffet employee here, drunk dudes coming in around 6PM. They ate full plates in like 20 minutes and puked everything under their table. We had to move every client out of this big section (capacity of about 60 people) because the smell was so bad. I was the one that had to put a mask on to clean everything." Source
