Broken Arm?
“I used to work for Pizza Hut, when I was in high school. One day one of the delivery drivers didn’t return from a delivery… After 30 minutes the manager tried calling him, with no response. He tried again about 15 minutes later, and a police officer answered the phone to explain what had just happened. Apparently the driver showed up to deliver the pizza, and the guy that answered the door was drunk and violent and ended up throwing the pizza in the driver’s face (I think he said the order was wrong or something). The driver had piping hot pizza sauce thrown in his eyes and then he fell down the stairs, breaking his arm. Gotta be that guy’s worst delivery ever.”
Hostage And Hungry?
“I delivered for a Pizza place in Ohio. We had a very large delivery area. One of the areas was a very poor area that nobody wanted to go to. One night I got a five pizza order for an address in this area. As I got closer to the address I could see multiple firetruck, ambulance and police lights over a wide area. It was like two blocks that were blocked by firetrucks. Nobody was getting in or out. I drove around to see if I could get access. Just as I realized I wouldn’t be able to get through a cop flagged me down. He moved some orange cones and instructed me to drive around the fire truck. They waved me down to an address where an ongoing hostage/standoff situation in front of a house was going on. Police were all around with bullet proof vests with shotguns and the like pointed at the house. They had firetruck spotlights shined on the house. A couple of officers with bullhorns were protecting themselves behind their cars. Apparently a guy had taken his multi-family apartment house hostage with a handgun (I later read online). This had gone on for a couple of hours. The police were hungry and simply ordered pizza delivery to the scene. They didn’t have much regard for my safety considering I had to get out of my car and set all the food, plates, and napkins on the tailgate of the fire chief’s truck. They did tip me $10, so the risk of being killed was worth it.”
He Just Wanted To Talk?
“There was one time that I delivered to this older man in an apartment complex. He invited me in and told me that his money was on his kitchen counter. He was seated on a recliner and let me know that it was hard for him to move much. I told him that was okay and set the pizza down on his coffee table. I then took the money from the counter and noticed there was 20 dollars more than necessary. I tried to hand him the extra and he told me to keep it, then asked if I could stay for a minute. Awkwardly, I asked him what he needed and he said, ‘Just to talk’. He then proceeded to tell me about how he hadn’t talked to his only son in ten years. I listened and tried to tell him maybe he should just call his son up, see how he was and he very rudely asked me what the hell do I know about anything. I moved to leave and he suddenly blurted, ‘…And I have Lyme disease’, and then laughed as though he were kidding and were just making a joke about how his life sucked and on top of it all, he had a debilitating disease. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I awkwardly chuckled. He yelled at me, told me it was a serious disease and told me to get out of his house. I quickly obliged him, tucking my well-earned 20 into my pocket. The next week, he called again. I let the new guy take it.”
Happy To Be Alive…
“I delivered pizzas for way too long, but the money is good and it’s a pretty chill job… so why not… This was my worst experience, because it was the scariest… I get to a house and a man answers door; He is a regular looking kinda guy, middle aged, and has a comb over. He asks me to come inside and put everything (big order lots of sides and drinks) on the kitchen table…sure… why think twice about it? I go inside and just as I get about three steps past him and the door, I hear it slam behind me and he says in an ‘ice on your spine’ kinda voice, ‘You aren’t going anywhere’… I freeze and feel like I am gonna throw up my adrenal gland… He is talking to his cat… He was totally nice and tips me like 8 bucks and says, ‘Stay safe out there,’ as I’m leaving. I got a block away and burst into tears. The next morning was the most beautiful of my whole life (so far).”
No Tip?
“I was a pizza delivery driver for all of… 3 days… The guy that hired me apparently had no authority to hire people, he just wanted to get some help for the shop while the manager was out of town. When the manager returned, he basically asked me who I was/what I was doing there then fired me. Anyways, my first delivery was to a high school football game. 100 pizzas. I drove an Acura Integra at the time and it was filled to the gills, with pizza, as I made my way up there. Dropped off the pizzas, accepted payment, wished a good day. ZERO tip… One hundred pizzas and not even a nickel for a tip…”
Ten Years In Jail…
“First Story: I witnessed a knife fight on my first run. Just two girls though and they didn’t really have their hearts into it. I called the cops and continued on my merry way.
Second Story: This happened to my fiancé at the time. An order came up for a decent apartment complex. He arrived to find that all the lights were off, in that particular apartment. Warning bells told him not to go up to the door. He listened to the bells, but it didn’t matter. A glance in the side mirrors showed three guys hunched over and closing in fast. Panicking, he pops the car into gear just when he feels a gun touch the side of his head. ‘Don’t do it mother f—er’, guy with the gun says. Fiancé slams on the gas, but is facing the wrong way in the parking lot. The car jolts forward, hops the curb and crashes into a tree. The car doors will no longer open and by this time, the gunmen caught up to him. They force him to crawl out the window and lay on the ground face down. He does what he is told and got down on the ground. The gunmen took his wallet, cell phone and the pizza. Fiancé glances up to see the gun being cocked in his face. He turns his head back to the ground and hears the click… The cops came and found them because they took the pizza. The gun was inside. We were told it had misfired. The guys got 10 years each for attempted murder. All for 19 dollars, a crappy cell and some pizza.”
Hurricane Delivery?
“I was working as a delivery guy in a college town in Texas a few years ago, when Hurricane Ike made landfall. We were right in the path of the storm, a couple hundred miles inland, so everyone was told to stay indoors and not use the roads unless absolutely necessary. Of course, I had to come to work anyway. I only had to make one delivery that entire lunch shift, and when I got to her door, she didn’t have any kind of awning or balcony to stand under and took forever to answer the door, so I had to stand outside getting soaked (umbrellas aren’t very helpful when it’s raining sideways.) I handed her the food and the credit card slip, but she told me she needed to make sure we got the order right before I can leave. I asked if I could come inside while she did this and she gave me this look of disgust and said, ‘Uh-uh! You ain’t gettin’ my house wet’! Once she finished thoroughly inspecting her food, she signed the slip and wrote ‘ZERO’ in the tip line. When I got back to the restaurant, I learned that she had called and complained that one of her pizzas did not have the dollar off coupon that we usually stick to the box, and demanding that I come back and give it to her. I did not. But the story doesn’t end there. Month or two later, a cop came in the the restaurant to see if anyone could identify a person who used a stolen credit card here. We went to our receipts and sure enough, that was the hurricane day, where we had one delivery order the entire day. Damn right I remembered what that b—h looked like.”
Very Generous Tip…
“This isn’t necessarily the worst, but it is the most interesting. It was almost like a scene from an 80’s college movie. The food part was normal, just a couple of larges. I roll up to the house, to which a party is happening inside. There is a guy passed out and duct taped from ankle to chest to a lawn chair in the front yard. I ring the doorbell and this 17-19 year old answers. He completely forgot they ordered pizza and and tells me to get the money from the guy in the lawn chair. So I go up to the guy and I can’t wake him up… so I go back to the guy in the house who then, with a frustrated attitude, grabs a flute and blasts it in the lawn chair guy’s ear. After some mumbling, the flute guy goes back inside and the lawn chair guy grabs money from his pocket, with his one free hand, and hands me a wad of bills. They are covered in what I REALLY hope is wet silly putty and says keep the change. I didn’t count it then because I wanted to GTFO. When I counted it back at the restaurant I ended up getting a $43 tip on a $31 bill. Worth it.”
No Deliveries Today?
“I arrived at a home to deliver a pizza and nobody is opening the door. I wait for about 2 minutes and I’m getting ready to leave. Two cop cars pull up to the door, and both police men proceed to put on gloves and one goes to his trunk and pulls out a weapon. One of them walks up to me and says: ‘There won’t be any deliveries today’.”
Disagreements And A Dollar…
“I work at Pizza Hut, and this is nothing compared to some of the other stories but anyways… Delivered to 2 guys, they were in the middle of a fight apparently and one of them started cussing me out about how I was late (which I wasn’t) and the other one started defending me saying I wasn’t late just to disagree with the other guy then they started asking me questions they didn’t really want answers to about their disagreements like, “Don’t you see how he doesn’t listen”? etc. and kept fighting in general. Eventually one of them paid me and I left but the entire thing was uncomfortable. Also, just today I delivered to a guy named Homer who must have been 100 years old and was wearing only briefs outside (it was 105 today) and looked like someone who would have written ‘The Odyssey’. Got a dollar…”
Football Players…
“I used to deliver pizzas for a s–t local pizza place to the Clemson football team’s dorm many years ago. I’m not saying the football players were all pricks, but I delivered 1-2 pizzas a week for a year or so, and 1) I never once got a tip (I mean literally not once) and 2) they would frequently try to scam me by ordering a pizza for the dorm room next door, and when that person didn’t answer offer to buy the pizza for half-price since “otherwise I was going to get nothing”. A–holes. All the delivery guys would just sigh and shake our heads every time we got an order from that dorm…”
Suspended License?
“My dad drove for Domino’s when he was 17 and 18. He was the best driver they had ever had, he got a plaque in the store for most pizzas delivered in a night. From what he tells me he would just speed everywhere and he would take twice as many pizzas as the other drivers each time he left the store. So one night he’s making deliveries and this woman pulls right out in front of him without even looking. He stops almost in time, but messes up her bumper a bit so they pull into a nearby parking lot to assess the damage. When they get out of their cars he tells her, ‘Ok so if I don’t get these pizzas delivered within a half hour these people get them for free, so just wait in this parking lot for 15 mins and I’ll be back’. The woman says okay and he drives off. He delivers a the pizzas and gets back to the parking lot, but she is gone so he just goes back to the store assuming she just didn’t care about the minor damage. As he pulls up to the store, he notices the woman is there, with some police officers. Now, my dad had already had a good amount of points on his license, so the cops yelled at him a bit. He had to go to court and had a suspended license for a year.”
Skateboarder Helping?
“Ugh, this one time I had to deliver a pizza in ten minutes, because it had been ordered 20 minutes ago and we give a 30 minute guarantee. I knew my boss would kill me if it was late so I ignored all laws and most common sense on the way there, which unfortunately caught up with me when I got distracted by some b—h on a skateboard and while I thought I was cutting through an alleyway shortcut, it was actually a driveway into a family’s pool. Luckily the story has a happy ending because the girl on the skateboard was a courier and she offered to deliver the pizza for me. Got it there on time, if only just…”
Impatient Man…
“Guy yelling at me about how long the pizza took, despite being told that due to how busy we were… and how large his order was… it would be one and a half hours before he got it (not to mention that he lived in the middle of f—ing nowhere and we were the only pizza shop stupid enough to consider it still in range). Surprisingly that is the worst thing that happened.”
Funeral Procession?
“I remember one time I was really in a hurry, not paying attention, on my way back to the pizzeria while blasting music to overpower the horrible droning of my muffler…I pulled out into a lull in afternoon traffic, a welcome relief from bumper to bumper. All of a sudden I see an old man on a motorcycle coming up fast, he screeched to a halt at my open window, looked inside with aviator glasses glaring, and screamed: ‘What the f–k is wrong with you? Get out of the goddamn funeral procession!’. I had no idea.”
Pizza Hut AND Domino’s?
“I was working for Pizza Hut and I got to a house right as a Domino’s delivery driver got there. We waited together at the door for a while, as the customer got her money. She ordered pizza from two places at the same time. It was very awkward.”
Bounced Check Girl Tried To Interview?
“A friend of mine delivered to some 20s female. The pizza place had a cash/card only policy and everyone knows it. She claimed she had cash but couldn’t find it so she wrote a check and a good tip. He figured he might as well try to get some money out of it. Went straight to the bank and the check bounced. He tried going and knocking on her door but she wouldn’t answer. A few weeks later he comes back to the store from a delivery and the manager is walking her around the kitchen, he points at her and says that is the girl who screwed him over, and the manager ended the interview instantly.”
Quit Before Dying?
“I was bit by a dog, was in a car accident, screamed at, had my wallet stolen (my fault for leaving it in the back seat), got a speeding ticket (again, my fault), stiffed on a 100 pie delivery, and countless other little things. I decided to quit before I ended up dead like so many other pizza delivery people. It’s one of the most dangerous jobs in the world.”
The Ex-Girlfriend
“A guy who was working with me had a breakup with his psycho-girlfriend. The girl wanted payback for something so she made a fake order at our place in part of town where it’s pretty quiet. She was of course hoping he will ride the order, but I did. When I arrived and realized it was a fake order I looked back and there were four guys looking at me in a corner. They didn’t do anything because thankfully they realized I wasn’t their guy. When I told the story when I came back he went home and didn’t work since then.”
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