Working in a bakery should be a fun job: you spend your day making delicious treats, being creative with cake decorations, and pulling steaming hot pies out of the oven.
There's just one problem. For whatever reason, bakeries attract some of the most arrogant, self-entitled customers on the face of the earth. These confectionery-makers had to deal with customers who were a lot more tart than they were sweet.
(Content has been edited for clarity)
Despicable She
“Me: Thank you for calling Flour & Water Bakery, how can I help you today?
Customer: I need to order a Minions Cake for a small party.
M: Ok, for which day?
C: I need it in 30 minutes.
M: ……..Ma’am, custom cakes need to be ordered 48 hours in advance. Would you like to pick from our selection of cakes we prepare daily?
C: Ok, but I need a Minions cake! Would you be able to decorate it?
M: I’m afraid not on such short notice. But we do have Minions cake decorations available for purchase.
C: What do you mean you can’t do it? I order from here all the time. I want to speak with your manager.
M: I am the manager, and it is store policy that custom cakes require 48 hours notice.
C: (Hangs up.)
I would like to say that this is a rare occurrence, but it isn’t.”
The Secret Peanut Butter Cookie
“My store recently had a full-grown woman who had a suggestion for us: just ‘put a little dab of peanut butter’ in our store-baked chocolate chip cookies for a ‘fun and tasty surprise’ for our customers. What she was describing was like an inverse jam cookie or Hershey chip cookie, but filled with peanut butter.
But not only that, she also wanted the peanut butter to be a secret. She literally wanted us to hide a small portion of peanut butter in the center of the chocolate chip cookie and then sell it as a plain chocolate chip, with no advertising whatsoever about the hidden potential death trap inside.
When we brought up the issue of allergies, she honestly was so befuddled and confused. She legit replied, ‘Well, then just don’t sell any to people with peanut allergies; they should really know better, right?’
I felt some of my brain cells die at that moment. Our store manager didn’t even bother trying to go on about the various legal issues this would obviously open up and just kinda shooed her out the store. She went, still so very obviously confused on why we couldn’t follow through on her idea, because it’d obviously just be so ‘fun and exciting and tasty!'”
The Sword In The Cake
“This is from years ago when I worked for a grocery store. I work at a call center now but I still remember this incident.
I was a drone in the bakery department, which means I could do pretty much everything except airbrush cakes. We had a fairly large display case with all sorts of cakes in it. Much larger than other stores. It basically shows off the types of the cakes we have in the store. Often we’d have people requesting to write on them and stuff, and we would always put them in a cardboard cake box instead of the crappy plastic containers.
It was near the end of the day, and as you can imagine people had bought many of the display cakes. This is usually not a problem, as we replace them with more from the freezer and they defrost throughout the day. Occasionally someone would want one of the frozen cakes. No big deal. We let them know to wait about 30 mins for it to thaw and they go on their merry way. Then comes a lady who is talking on her phone who barely speaks to me, let alone listens.
I’ll be Me, my co-worker will be CW, and the customer will be Rude Phone Lady (RPL).
Me: What can I get for you?
RPL: I want [specific cheesecake], why don’t you have any?
Me: We do have [specific cheesecake], I can–
RPL: It’s not there.
Me: Well, I just sold the one inside the display, but I can grab you a frozen one from the back?
RPL: Just kinda nods at me while on the phone.
So I go to the freezer in the back, grab her cheesecake, and bring it out to show her (we always show the cakes to make sure we know which one they meant).
RPL: (Slightly impatient) Yeah, that one! (She continues talking on the phone)
Me: Great. just to let you know, this is frozen, so it will take about 30 mins to thaw out–
RPL: Mhm. (Gestures in an impatient ‘gimme’ motion)
I box it up, print out the receipt, and give her the frozen cake. I go on with the pre-closing clean-up until about an hour and a half later a co-worker comes from the cash.
CW: Hey, did you sell a lady a frozen cake a while ago?
Me: Yeah.
CW: She just came in saying that we didn’t tell her it was frozen and it ruined her party. Did you tell her it was frozen?
Me: Yes, twice.
CW: Thought so… to prove it was frozen she had us try to cut it with a pocket knife and it is stuck, we can’t get it out.
Me: What the…?
CW: I know, right? She’s pulling something to try and get it free I guess.
For those of you who don’t know, the frozen cakes can still be cut. We actually preferred to cut them while frozen to sell slices or half cakes, they are just easier to handle like that. I don’t know what this lady did to turn her cake into the Sword in the Stone.”
Do You Want To Measure It Yourself?
“Last night, as I had just finished closing the register in the bakery I manage, and was just about to leave for the night at 6:59–1 minute before closing–the phone rings.
I answer with a mild sigh, but it had been a pleasant day and I wasn’t too bothered to take the call. I just hoped it wouldn’t be long, or someone claiming they’re ‘only ten minutes away’ expecting me to stay open for them. A disgruntled woman was on the other line, we’ll call her Pie Hole (PH).
Me: Bake Shoppe, how can I help you?
PH: Can you tell me what sizes your pies are for Thanksgiving?
Me: Well, we actually only offer one size of each variety, they’re 9″.
PH: Well someone else told me 8″ and someone else told me 9″ and someone else told me 10″, so which is it??
Me: (I’m thinking to myself, you asked this question knowing you weren’t going to believe me. This woman is looking for an argument.)
Me: The pies are 9″, sorry for any confusion.
PH: I just need to know how big they are.
Me: Well they’re 9″ for certain. The thing is that the base of the pie is about 8″, and from one edge of the crust to the other, it’s about 10″. But that’s only crust. There’s really 9″ of the pie.
PH: CAN YOU JUST TELL ME HOW BIG THE PIES ARE?
Me: Yes miss, as I stated the pies are 9″. They’ll serve about 8-10 people if that’s more helpful to you.
PH: Ugh. Is there anyone there who can help me??
Me: No miss, we’ve already closed and I’m the only person here.
PH: Well when can I call back that someone will be there to help me??
Me: Tomorrow morning.
PH: (Literally yelling) WHAT TIME???
Me: We open at 7 AM.
PH: I’ll be calling in the morning.
Me: Okay, enjoy your night miss.
[Click.]
I could not have been more descriptive.
I just think she wanted a dispute. It almost seems like the clientele I experience has this nagging need to get someone fired or be proven right or to feel like they’ve been mistreated and victimize themselves.
The pie serves 8-10 people. That’s really all you need to know. Place your Thanksgiving order or shut your Pie Hole.”
Liars Have To Pay $1
“Back in high school, I worked in the bakery section of an upscale grocery store. This was my very first job, and after a few weeks of working there, a guy in his late twenties came to my counter to order some pastries.
Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Guy: Yeah, can I get the tart?
Me: (Looking at a showcase with like 20 different tarts) Sure… um, which one?
Guy: (Annoyed) That one. (He pokes at the glass, leaving a fingerprint, which was my biggest pet peeve.)
Me: Alright, so the chocolate caramel?
Guy: Uh huh.
So I boxed it up for him and he was on his way. About an hour later he returns to the counter, and when I walk up to it he tosses a ripped pastry box in my direction.
Guy: What’s this?
Me: …Sorry, what?
Guy: What is that? This is not what I ordered.
I look into the box and see a quarter of a tart shell that has clearly been bitten into, almost completely finished. I was new and anxious and wasn’t really trained to handle customers like this. So I asked him if we wanted a different one and he said yes, so I put his new choice in a box. I knew I wasn’t allowed to give away free stuff, so I thought it was a good move to price it at $1 (it was originally like $3.50), and boy was I wrong.
Guy (Fuming): What’s the dollar tag for?
Me: Oh… I don’t know… I just thought because you ate the first one already but weren’t satisfied that a discount would be nice.
Guy: This should be free. I’m reporting you to the owners.
I was so nervous about being fired from my first job went to the back room and had a breakdown. Thankfully my manager didn’t get mad and just told me to call them next time and they would deal with it.”
Your Two-Year-Old Must Be Smart For His Age
“In college, I worked for a floral shop that shared a space with a bakery. We had the space for both businesses to operate and it naturally was a good partnership. This story takes place near the end of my senior year. I was six weeks shy of graduating with two degrees. Although I cared about the stores and wanted them to do well, my nonsense-tolerance had dropped significantly. One day, a woman came to me for balloons for her son’s 2nd birthday party. She had already picked up her cake.
Woman: (Grumpily tossing her balloon choices at me) Ugh, I can’t believe the bakery.
Me: Oh, is there something wrong?
Woman: Yes! LOOK at this cake!
She opens the box. It’s a nice-looking cake, decorated with icing and trains. A scrolling script says: ‘Happy 2nd Birthday Jackson!’
Me: …
Woman: DON’T YOU SEE IT?!
Me: I think it’s a lovely ca–
Woman: IT’S IN CURSIVE! WHY WOULD THEY PUT IT IN CURSIVE? HE’S TWO!
Me: Oh…well, it’ll take me a couple minutes to fill these balloons. I bet you could take it back, and they could scrape off the old lettering, re-frost the blank space, and rewrite it for you.
Woman: (Clearly hasn’t heard a word I said) I CAN’T BELIEVE SOMEONE IS SO STUPID TO THINK THIS IS OKAY!
Me: (Yelling above her) CAN YOUR SON EVEN READ?!
She immediately fell silent, blushed a deep purple, and was silent while I filled her balloons. She paid without a word.”
She Had To Lure Her In Like A Wild Animal
“I was stocking out a cart of wildberry pies with the lids fitted on, or as firmly fitted as they were gonna get. It’s important to note that we have a lot of problems with these lids, as they just never seem to want to stay on the darn things. I top off our refrigerated case and turn around to weave my way back inside.
We were swamped with customers, and maneuvering a cart full of confection through throngs of oblivious shoppers is slow and deliberate work. I made it not 5 feet back across the floor when I receive a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see a lady who appears to be in her mid-60’s holding one of our pies. I ask her if there’s anything I can help her with, retail smile in full effect, and she gives me a slightly frustrated look.
‘This pie’s lid came off.’
I tell her, ‘Oh, that happens all the time!’ I then take the proffered pie and snap the lid back on. ‘There you go! Did you want this one back?’ I moved the pie slightly towards her when I said this, inviting her to take her saccharine treat and be on her merry way. She looked at me slightly taken aback, and turned away without another word.
I thought to myself ‘okay!” and replaced the pie in the open space where it was previously nestled, among its berry brethren. (She watched me do this.) Almost immediately after, the very same lady returned and snatched up the same pie without so much as a glance in my direction. I guess she did want that one, after all.”
Think Of The Children
“My bakery started offering our cakes on discount around Christmas. Most of our customers love that, but some are nothing but suspicious. I had to deal with one of them.
Customer: ‘So, you lowered the price, huh?’
Me: ‘Yes, they will be on discount until Christmas.’
C: ‘But, are they the same cakes you used to make?’
Me: ‘Of course, they are exactly the same.’
C: ‘Did you change the cream you use?’
Me: ‘No, we didn’t change anything, they are the same as you know them.’
C: ‘Well… ok… I guess I’ll buy one.’
She chose one from our ready ones, but she still hesitated.
C: ‘It’s fresh isn’t it?’
Me: ‘Of course, it’s excellent.’
C: ‘Are you sure it’s fresh?’
Me: ‘Oh yes it was made this morning, it’s perfect.’
C: ‘The people I am taking it to, they know cakes.’
Me: ‘What do you mean ma’am?’
C: ‘They’ll know if it’s fresh or not.’
Me: ‘Ok, as I told you, it’s perfectly fresh.’
C: ‘You know, there will be children there, and they’ll eat this cake.’
Me: ‘It’s fresh, I promise. Look, I wouldn’t give you something old, the discount is simply promotional. We don’t just make cakes, let them get old and then sell them at discount. We’re offering it for every cake from now until Christmas.’
I’m not sure she was convinced, but she finally left.
What really killed me was her idea that I was some evil cake man who wanted to feed expired cake to her children. What did she expect me to say? ‘Oh, there will be children there? In that case, I cannot in good conscience keep up this charade. The cake is old and thus unsuitable for consumption by minors.’ Like, what planet are you living on?”
If We Gave Special Treatment To Everyone Who Spent $25 Here, It Wouldn’t Be Special
“So this happened to my manager yesterday. First a little background: I work at a bakery and cafe that’s pretty popular. My store is located in Pasadena, CA. It’s not on the main street, but still gets a lot of foot traffic. Sometimes we get orders for cake and bread over $200. I think our cheapest 8-inch cake is probably around $25-$30.
Alright, now to the story. So I’m working and my manager comes into my department upset over some crybaby old lady. He said after she bought her bread she asked for a cup of water. He told her no problem, it’ll be 25 cents. It’s no big deal right, just a quarter. Not with this lady. Apparently, she got upset because we charge for the cup. JUST the cup, not the actual water. If she brought her own cup we would’ve filled it for her, free of charge.
Anyway, I don’t remember what she told my manager, but he said she was pointing at him and yelling. You know the point, the ‘How dare you speak to me like that’ point. She screamed, ‘I spent $25 on bread, you should treat me better,’ or something like that. I laughed and told my manager after she left, ‘Was she serious? $25? That’s not even that much bread.’
I understand being a little upset over being charged for water, but it was just a quarter. I don’t get why someone would throw a tantrum over not being treated like a queen for spending $25.”
Despondent Over Fondant
“I worked at a lovely bakery while I was in college. We made everything from scratch, the prices were extremely reasonable, and most of our customers were great, and had shopped there all their lives. It was a mom & pop shop.
At one point a competitor had to shut down for an extended period of time. I think they had some flood damage or something, and they had to do some extensive repairs and couldn’t open. We had quite a few of their customers come in to get birthday cakes, cookies, etc. since there were only a few bakeries available outside of a chain grocery store or Walmart. Most of them were very nice and understood that we didn’t offer the exact items that our competitor did. Some even chose to come back after the competitor reopened.
There was one woman that did NOT understand. A young mom pushing a stroller came in one day inquiring about a birthday cake for the adorable cherub in the stroller. She asked about flavors and fillings. When I asked her how she wanted it decorated, it went sideways real quick.
Crazy Lady: I want the cake carved into the shape of a number one and covered in fondant with no buttercream.
Me: I’m so sorry, we don’t carve cakes, and we don’t use fondant at all. I can ice a number one on the top in a shade of blue to match your decor, or just about anything else.
She was visibly getting red as I was talking. She didn’t say anything for about 10 seconds, then she unleashed it.
Crazy Lady: HOW CAN YOU NOT USE FONDANT? [Other Bakery] USES FONDANT ALL THE TIME! YOU CAN CARVE CAKES, THERE’S NO REASON YOU CANT!!
Me: We don’t make fondant, and the majority of our customers don’t ask for it. We are kind of known for our scratch-made buttercream. It’s really good.
CL: BUTTERCREAM IS AWFUL! I DON’T WANT MY BABY EATING THAT GARBAGE!
(Side note: This was a ridiculous thing to say because bakers use buttercream to make fondant stick to the cake. If she bought cakes with fondant ‘all the time,’ that means her baby already ate buttercream all the time.)
M: That’s all we use, other than chocolate, cream cheese, and German chocolate. And we don’t carve cakes because our cakes are too fragile, you would have a pile of cake crumbs and icing once you got it home.
She continued ranting for a few minutes and was so loud that our baker in the back came to check what the noise was. She never did ask for a manager or ask to speak with someone else, she just yelled at me.
To his credit, the kid slept through the entire thing. I’m sure he was used to it.
She finally stopped yelling long enough to stare at me for a second, point in my face and say,
CL: I will NEVER come back here again! You lost a customer today! Worthless!!
I just smiled and told her it was no problem. Have a nice day.
She angrily marched to our door and struggled to get the stroller through, while giving me a death stare. I just smiled and waved goodbye.”
This Is Why We Need To Teach EVERYONE Basic Math In School
“This lady came in with her teenager son (about 15 years old) and asked for Candy A and Candy B to be put together in a gift box. These candies have about the same size, yet A is heavier than B. They have the same price. Simple? Not so much.
Lady: I’d like 500 grams from Candy A and 500 from Candy B in the same box please, but don’t mix it, put half on the right of the box and half on the left of it.
Me: Ok, but since you want it as a gift, you should know that A weighs more than B. Would you prefer to just put the same number of pieces of each in the box, so it looks even?
Lady: What do you mean? I just want a half-kilo of each in the box.
Me: I meant that since A is heavier, there will be less of it in the box than B. Now If I just put the same number of pieces of each, it will look much better as a gift.
Her son: Mom, she knows better, let her make it as she says.
Lady: (Impatiently) Look, I just want 500gr of each! I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to understand.
I wasn’t going to argue more, so I made the box exactly as she said. She took a look at it and…
Lady: But there is more of B here than A. I just asked for half of each!
Me: Yes, there’s exactly a half-kilo of each, just like you said. As I told you before, A is heavier than B.
Lady: No, I don’t want it that way. Make it even, please.
Her son: Mom, that’s what she was trying to do–
Lady: (angrily) Go wait for me in the car!
The boy left, and she didn’t say another word. She just paid for the gift box, didn’t thank me, and left.”
She Should Have Done Her Research First
“I worked at a small-town bakery for a few years after high school. The shop, called Andrae’s, is co-owned by a couple whose last name is Andrae.
This customer came in and placed an order for 300 cookies for a holiday party. She arranged to come back in a few days to pick them up.
When she came to get them I ring it up, the total is over $700. I ask for her card, run it, and it’s declined. I ask her if she has another form of payment.
Customer: ‘No. Are you serious, you can’t even run a card right?’
Me: ‘I can try again.’
Of course, it doesn’t work.
Me: ‘I’m really sorry but this card isn’t working, is there another form of payment that you can use? We do accept local checks.’
Customer: ‘My husband and I are your best customers (I had never seen them despite working there 6 days a week for two years) and we know ANDREA and she is going to fire you!’
Me: ‘Ma’am, there is no Andrea.’
Customer: ‘YES THERE IS, SHE OWNS THE STORE!’
Me: ‘No this is Andrae’s, it’s the last name. There is no woman named Andrea.’
I pointed to the business cards.
I wish you guys could have seen the look on her face. She froze with her mouth gaping like a fish.
Customer: ‘Oh, I must have gone to the wrong store.’
She just turned around and left. Luckily, since it was such a large order, we had her card on file and I got the actual owner to charge her for all the cookies we had made. So satisfying.”
