“It was Sunday at around lunchtime at our pub; lots of locals would come in for the food (which was excellent) and nurse their hangovers. Because the food was so good, we’d have families frequently come in with kids and get stuff to eat on Sundays.
One time, a group of older folks came in, men and women, and proceed to rage it up. No problem…it is a bar after all, but we have a few families in there. They started to get really rowdy and I told them to keep it clean. They got all mad at me, so I reminded them that there were kids in here and they needed to keep it down (I was trying to be diplomatic about this). Then one lady got super worked up and started screaming at me. At this point, I told them they needed to stop now or get out, and the bouncer came over to help facilitate this action if needed.
Well, one of the guys got in the bouncer’s face. Bad idea. My bouncer tossed this guy outside quicker than a speed eater can eat a hot dog. Everyone in that group FLIPPED OUT! Things moved outside. Another guy grabbed my bouncer from behind and got him in a headlock, while the ladies started beating on him. Bar staff ran out to the rescue and an all-out brawl ensued. The cops arrived, everyone in that party was arrested, and all of the families in the bar applauded the staff. One of the family’s dad (a regular) actually got up and helped pull people apart.
This event was referred to, from that point on, as ‘Bloody Sunday.'”
A Tale Of Two Marios
“I used to work in a small pub on the bottom floor of a fairly large concert venue. During our Halloween party, I had to jump the bar and break up a fight between two guys dressed in the same exact Mario costume.
Apparently, Mario A asked Mario B’s girlfriend, who ironically enough was dressed as Princess Peach, if she wanted to get with the ‘real Super Mario.’ He then gestured at his uber-tight overalls and said, ‘How about that mushroom?’ At that point, Mario B went all Smash Bros. on him.
The expression on the police officer’s face was priceless as he walked in and saw us trying to separate two wasted, bruised and bloody Marios.”
Definitely Did Not End Up Here By Accident
“I used to work at a horse racing track, the place was over a hundred years old and had all sorts or weird corridors and cheap walls.
We did Friday night racing. At about 5 pm this guy was already hammered from drinking. He offered to slip me $5 if I would give him free drinks all night…yeah right.
Eventually, he went missing. His friend, who was not as wasted and quite nice, asked if I’d seen him. I told him that I haven’t seen him since around 6 pm and now it was about 9 pm. All of a sudden, I heard BAM! BANG! BOOM! There was an extremely loud commotion coming from the ladies washroom, soon followed by a man covered head to toe in blood casually walking out of the bathroom. He was trying to act as nonchalant as possible as if nothing happened and the whole bar wasn’t staring at him.
Turns out the guy had found a place where there was some construction in a restricted area and was climbing around in the walls. He eventually found the ladies room where we suspect he was watching women pee.
A support beam must have given way or he just slipped. He must have fallen at least 20 feet through all sorts of wood, metals, wires and then into a bathroom stall.
The average age of a women customer in my bar was at least mid 50’s, so I hope he had fun. And yes, he was apprehended by security and arrested.”
Kicking This Guy Out Ended Tragically
“This is a sad and horrible story. While bartending one night, I had a group of younger kids (near 21) come in. I recognized the girl from a mutual friend we shared. Her man introduced himself as ‘Satan’ and proceeded to be a jerk the entire night. Finally, I had to kick him out. He was being verbally abusive to his girl and others. He refused to pay. I confronted him and was…convincing. He actually lowered his head and handed me his entire wallet. I refused to touch his wallet. I got his girl to pull the money out. Apparently, he was super upset about me ‘putting him in his place.’ He was snapping on his girlfriend to the point where she came back inside and asked me (and others) to keep him away from her. Because she knew me, she asked if she could leave with me. I told her it wasn’t a good idea (for many reasons). But I let her stay until she got a ride to pick her up. She left.
30 minutes later, I saw police cars and an ambulance scream by. I didn’t find out until the next day when my boss called me asking me to come in. The police wanted to speak to me. He killed that girl. He stabbed her with a decorative katana. My understanding is he claimed it happened while he was trying to wrestle it from her. Basically, he pled to some petty manslaughter to get out in two years. I told the police everything I could to get him put away – his aggressive demeanor, verbal abuse to her, threatening me. I’ll always wonder if maybe me standing up to him triggered some crazy response in him.”
She Wouldn’t Stand For Someone Stealing
“A major thing that I’ve had to deal with is people stealing from the club I work at when they think I’m not looking. One of my co-workers had previously beat up a patron for attempting to steal a tip jar. He was just like, ‘I honestly didn’t even think about it, I just went for him… that’s our livelihood!’
So a few months later, I was working the bar on a busy night and my tip jars are full, and I’m watching them like a hawk. What do I see? Some jerk trying to take one! My co-worker was totally right about acting before thinking because before the guy even knew it, I had squirrel monkey’d over the bar and grabbed this guy. I had my tip jar and was just going at him until the bouncers came and took over. I’m sorry but there was at least $100 in that tip jar, and I can not afford to lose that. I am a 5’3″ 120 lb girl. Yes, I felt like a hero. My heart was pumping so fast/loud and I could not believe I did that. That guy got kicked out after!”
He Defused The Situation And Made A New Friend
“I work at a high volume bar in Manhattan. One night behind the bar, I had this one girl who was very ‘enthusiastic.’ After a few drinks, she left her number on a napkin. A couple more and she actually pulled me across the bar to make out with me. Apparently, she had a boyfriend though, and he saw. It almost got violent until I offered to make him a few free drinks.
Him: ‘How about a Long Island?’
And then it did get crazy. Apparently, his girlfriend was just trying to make him jealous. That I was able to essentially buy a kiss with just one drink made her pretty upset. So she threw a glass across the room at us. She missed, though, and security had her out the door before she could throw another. But her boyfriend was a nice guy. We got pretty wasted and kept drinking at the bar after we closed up. Now he’s a good friend of mine.”
He Disrespected Her And She Fought Back
“My ex-girlfriend was a bartender at a bar in DFW area in Texas. It’s one of those crazy bars that fill up the parking lots with tents and stuff for special occasions. This was Mardi Gras, I believe, about one year ago. She was walking through the JAMMED PACKED bar and a guy grabbed her butt (happens a lot.) Well, she was fed up with it this time. So she turns around and said, ‘Don’t touch me.’
The large gentleman replied with, ‘Come on baby, you know you like it.’ So she got the bright idea of popping his drink into his own face. Needless to say…he hit her, IN THE FACE…with his fist. She’s not tiny or anything, but she’s a skinny girl, and she fell backward to the ground.
The only person to help was this little tiny guy. He jumped on his back. The big guy reached back to grab him and accidentally stuck his finger in the little guy’s mouth. So the little guy tried to bite it off. After the bouncers got a hold of the guy and subdued him, they called the cops over and she made her statement to the police. The large guy spent a while sitting on the curb complaining about his finger and bleeding. She pressed charges and turned out the guy was on probation already for a domestic dispute. He went to jail for several months over that whole situation, what an idiot. I’m glad I wasn’t there because I would have been in jail for sure.”
There Were So Many Chances To Prevent This
“I used to tend at an Irish Pub. Once there was a guy who carried over on shift change to my shift. I realized he was way too hammered and decided I wasn’t going to serve him any more drinks.
He, of course, got pretty mad about this and started causing problems. I kicked him out by physically walking with him out of the bar. He decided to walk back in a few minutes later, at which point I repeated the same steps, only a bit more grabby on the shoulders.
He took off for a while, then he came back AGAIN, and this time I swear he’d been smoking something, he’s just fired up. He started yelling and threatening to come over the bar to beat me up. I had my hand on the Galliano bottle at this point.
Someone decided it’s time to call the cops. When they pulled up, someone talked him down and said you really need to pull this back and apologize. So he walked up to me half trying to, but by this point, I was not having any of it. The cops walked in, he’s still in the bar, I pointed him out and let them know what’s up.
They tried to talk to him and he went crazy and started threatening to bum rush them. They pulled out the tasers and he charged at them. They fired at him IN THE BAR and only tagged him with one pin. He got cocky and said, ‘Is that it?! That all you got?!?’ and proceeded to charge at them to get to the front door and evaded tackle with some cheap madden football spin move…
He ended up running right into two other cops outside. He was IMMEDIATELY tased outside and screamed like a little girl, ‘AAARRGHH! Why’d you have to tase me?! OWWW,’ with his face right in a puddle of water.”
A Little Bit Of Revenge On An Unruly Customer
“So I’m working at a bar in Melbourne, Australia, which has a pretty chill vibe during the week, cheap pizza, full of uni students, cool DJs, movie nights, etc. On Saturday night, however, the vibe shifts to club mode and fills up with girls in short dresses (who look like T-Rexes because of their heels) and ‘roided up dudes in pink v neck t-shirts two sizes too small.
So this one girl is there for her birthday wearing one of those dumb ’21 today’ badges. She’s telling the DJ to play idiot songs and the bartenders to give her free drinks and just generally acting annoying. She gets more and more obnoxious as the night goes on, and more and more hammered. I tell her that she has been cut off from the bar but we will let her stay and party as long as she doesn’t consume any more drinks. As always, the idiot seems to think we don’t have cameras and a security crew so she continues to drink her friends’ drinks because she is outside of my field of vision.
Security goes over to take her out, she turns into a mega jerk, ‘I haven’t done anything wrong, this is illegal, my dad is a cop, my cousins will mess you up.’ Whatever her little pea brain can come up with, thinking that we’ll go, ‘Oh! Your cousins are going to mess us up! Why didn’t you say so!? Here is a free drink! Stay all night!’ So she is carried out with her boyfriend in tow profusely apologizing to us and wanders off to try and get in somewhere else.
Closing time comes and I’m doing the usual couch checks for money/phones/wallets etc and find a phone. The wallpaper is a picture to this girl and her boyfriend, no passcode lock. We finish cleaning and sit down for drinks and decide to go through the phone, which is full of pictures and videos of her and her boyfriend. Funniest home videos, like the one of him walking into a room dressed as a woman, making his skirt sway with his stiff johnson, the funniest dirty talk I have ever heard, and just generally crap you would not record on your phone and then not have a passcode.
We decide to exact a little revenge and send a few of the worst/most recognizable pics to the boyfriend’s number saying, ‘I hope that all of the contacts in your phone enjoy these as much as we did! Mama is gonna be sooooo proud. Hope your phone bill isn’t too big!’ We didn’t actually send them to anyone but we liked the thought of making the girl sweat until she could call the venue at midday the next day. She came in to collect it and we simply explained that we found it switched off under a couch.”
When He Wouldn’t Leave, They Had To Get Rid Of Him Somehow
“I work in a music venue/nightclub and it’s generally quite boring. You get the general stuff you wouldn’t be surprised to see when you go out but nothing special. A couple of particular customers stick in my memory though. One was during a student night. At some point, a guy stripped down to a Borat mankini, he’s wasted and obnoxious but isn’t hurting anyone.
But at closing time, the guy just refused to leave. He was dodging around the bouncers and no one particularly wanted to drag him out. Anyway, one of my favorite bouncers just came up behind him, grabbed the mankini and pulled it up, hard. He was taken out like this down two flights of stairs, I think some friends finally gave him his clothes after he was thrown out into the cold.”
A Sad Run In With A Celebrity
“The bar I used to work in once had the after-party for an Amy Winehouse gig, her and all of her entourage came along. It was pretty cool.
Anyway, at the end of the night, about half an hour after we’d got everyone out, I started to go round the tables – wiping them down and clearing all the crap off ’em. In one section that Amy and her entourage had reserved for the night, I heard sniffling like someone’s crying… I looked further and noticed Amy Winehouse was curled up under a table and crying. I had to nudge her with my foot and go, ‘Excuse me, Miss Winehouse…It’s time to leave.'”
“It Was Almost Like Time Froze”
“I used to work at a pretty busy club. One Saturday night, I was slingin’ drinks left and right, we were packed to the brim. Cue wasted bros to start a fight. You get people buzzed up and put them in a place with no elbow room, it’s bound to happen. It only gets worse when said customers are ‘roid raging out as well. So as the tight-shirted idiots were shoving and yelling obscenities, I radioed security and started to make my way over. It was almost like time froze.
The puffier one grabbed a bottle and slung it into the bar, managing to keep the spout intact. He then slammed it into the other guy’s face, full force. Blood spurted everywhere, I thought he was dead for sure. The attempted murder guy ran out and was tackled by security. The dead guy ends up being not dead but had a fun ambulance trip followed by surgery.”
A Very Effective Method Of Making Space On The Dance Floor
“I was hard at work one Friday night as usual, halfway through mixing up a drink when something strange caught my eye: the crowd on the dancefloor was breaking out into a circle.
Now, I have never seen a breakdance circle happen here so I immediately assumed it to be a fight as it usually is. I radioed security while walking towards it to see if I could contain it until they get there.
Upon reaching the circle, I realized that this was not a fight, oh no, there was a dude spinning in a circle and peeing on everyone like he was R. Kelly after smashing down 20 liters of Mountain Dew.
I just backed away in hysterics and tried to explain the situation via radio. Three guards arrived but waited for the guy to finish to avoid being peed on. Our club is not very big and is always at capacity so there is not a lot of room to move on the dancefloor, needless to say, a lot of people went home smelling like pee.
Anyway, this guy eventually ran out after record-breaking time and the crowd managed to escape. So the guards moved towards him. Suddenly, this dude grabbed his junk like it’s a Smith & Wesson and yelled, ‘STAY BACK! I HAVE MORE!’ as a threat.
Surprisingly it worked, the guards didn’t wanna get peed on and they backed away from the guy like he was packing.
Even more surprising was the fact that he DID have more! I thought for sure this guy would be dry as a bone. He had more urine than a person has blood in their body, he managed to get another steady stream going and more impressively did it while running! He ran down the stairs and I assume out the door.
He was never seen before or after that night, but it was strange and I still wonder what his thought process was that lead him to such events. We figure he must have been on something as well as the drinks but we’ll never know.”
These Bartenders May Have Prevented A Catastrophe
“I was working on a Sunday as the only competent server (I bartender nights) in the building and my bartender was at the bar. We had a full house with a ton of regulars at the bar and tons of religious people at the tables. We were just chilling, hungover and finally finished working like crazy as the rush was subsiding. My bartender – let’s call him Chez, came to me and said, ‘That shifty guy at the bar keeps asking where the nearest hospital is, can you look it up on your phone?’
‘Ok.’ I looked it up as we stood in the corner of the bar. A couple from one of the hi-tops came over and told us that they are leaving and to tab them out. Chez went to tab them out and they told me the guy we were talking about was muttering to himself about a bomb. He had a huge backpack on with cellophane sticking out the top. This seems like it could be legit. I told Chez and he went to get the manager. The manager came over and was like, alright – do we call the cops now?
We all agreed we better call the police. We did. We told them what’s up and waited. The guy just stood there muttering to himself as we freaked out. Finally, he got up to leave. As he walked across the street to the hotel next door, cops finally rolled up. They came in and we told them where he went.
In about 15 seconds flat, the hotel was surrounded and roped off. News crews showed up about seven minutes later. Now, with this going on and the street closed off, all the people from the hotel come over and chill at the bar. The place was packed (thanks bomb guy for all the cash flow, by the way)
I found out later the cops apprehended the mental patient dude and did find a homemade bomb on his person.”
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