Just because someone is speaking in a different language does not mean the surrounding people can't understand them! These awkward situations can lead to some pretty sweet moments of justice. Just ask these people!
We've rounded up our favorite stories of when bilinguals understood a conversion they definitely were not supposed to hear. Content has been edited for clarity.
This Woman Couldn’t Take All The Teenage Background Noise Anymore
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“My family and I were flying to Greece from Houston to visit family, and two groups are also on this 10-hour flight: student ambassador middle/high schoolers, mostly girls from the US, and a youth male Greek soccer team. And of course, they were all sitting by us with their chaperones at the other end of the plane.
The boys are hitting on and flirting with these girls about 2-4 years younger than them. They moved seats so they can sit with the girls, and they were so loud and obnoxious the whole plane was honked off (except apparently the crew who did nothing about it).
The boys were also talking amongst themselves in Greek. My mother speaks fluently from years of Greek school, and many a summer raised in the Peloponnese hillside.
At some point, while all 3 of us are just sitting there reading, sleeping, trying to watch the tiny TV at the front of the plane, and listen over these kids constantly talking, my mother jumps up, goes over to the group, and says:
‘These boys are calling you fat and stupid. They also think American girls are so easy. By the way, he (she points at the one guy who was the most all over this one girl) is 18. They have girlfriends waiting for them in the terminal. Now shut up so I can sleep.’
They all shuffled back to their appropriate seats completely silent. Best flight ever after that. I love my mom.”
Shaming An Obnoxious Woman
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“I’m Puerto Rican, but I tend to look Indian whenever I let my hair grow out and let my facial hair become rather unkempt.
I used to work at Target years ago, and I remember a time where I heard an older mom start complaining to her son that I was putting too many items in her bags and that I was not double-bagging them. She then muttered in Spanish:
‘Stay in school, so you don’t end up like this guy.’
Now, I had only filled three bags. She probably had another 20 to 25 items to go. I slowed my pace down and gently began to insert one item into two bags. Every. Single. Item.
She started complaining that I was too slow and that she had places to be, so I slowed down even more. I gently checked for the barcode and made sure that her bags were inserted perfectly into her cart.
Finally, she insisted that I scan all the items then bag them. I told her, no, I want to do this right. In Spanish.
She paused and her son just stared at her while she comprehended what was happening. From there, she just nodded her head as I scanned back to normal. She became deathly silent for the rest of the transaction. Cash or credit? No response. Did she want a red card? No response.
Have a good day? I got a ‘Listen…I’m…’ She didn’t even finish, she just paused and walked away while her poor son didn’t know what to do.”
“Their Faces Were Priceless”
“I’m an American traveling abroad in the Middle East, and went on a date with an Arab guy. He asked me if I spoke Arabic, but since I’m not comfortable speaking it, I just said no. I can understand most things, though, and can speak if pressed.
Dinner was great, we got along well, and then went to smoke at a local cafe. The owner, who was my date’s buddy, asked who I was in Arabic.
He smiled at me sweetly, squeezed my hand, and told his friend in Arabic, ‘An American floozie who I’m going to hook up with later.’
I kept a stupid, docile smile on my face. When the owner took my order, I told him in Arabic ‘and one tea for the American floozie who he will not sleep with later.’
The look on both of their faces was priceless. Needless to say I ended up taking a cab home.”
Hungry Hungarians
“I had a real estate license for a while because I was buying rental properties for retirement income. I lost them all in the crash of 2008, but that’s a different story.
Today’s tale belongs to another realtor, but I’ll tell it the way he did:
So I get this call from a couple, maybe in their sixties, they’re looking for a house in Pleasure Ridge, with a pool. The guy says ‘one to two million price range,’ which got my attention. I spent the morning on MLS and making calls, and set up half a dozen nice listings to show them.
We’re driving around, chatting, and the wife says something in Hungarian, which shocked me. They don’t have a Hungarian name, neither do I, but I’m full blooded and spoke only Hungarian until I was 12.
I didn’t let on. I figured I might get some clues I could use to help with the sale, in case they spoke Hungarian again.
They did, and I got a huge clue. After the third house as we were walking back to the car they lagged behind. The husband was saying to the wife in Hungarian. ‘This is better than ever. I never thought of telling these stupid real estate guys that we wanted a million dollar plus house. Next Sunday we’ll say two million, see what happens with the next loser. I’ll bet I can get this guy to buy us a fancy lunch too! I love these free house tours!’
The guy switched to English, all polite and apologetic. ‘Say, my wife has low blood sugar, are there any restaurants around here?’
I took them to Nicolo’s. Very expensive. We went, sat down, ordered a nice bottle of vino, and a big meal, and then I excused myself to go pee.
I found our waiter, told him I had to leave. I explained this was my birthday dinner, and my older brother and his wife were treating me. Just bring the vino (I upgraded to the $200 Chateau neuf du Pape) and serve them. I’ll catch up.
I popped out the side door, got in my car, and drove home.
I called the restaurant a couple of hours later, and learned that my ‘brother and his wife’ had to be threatened with the police before they paid the bill, and that they’d left in a cab, jabbering in some foreign language. I stopped by the next day with big tip for the waiter.
The couple made a complaint Monday afternoon to the Real Estate Board, where my friend was executive director. They wanted my license. I’d talked to him Monday morning. He told them they were going to give me a medal, instead, and circulate their description to all the realtors in the valley.
I’m retired now, and still waiting for my medal, but they tell that story every year at the new-licensee orientation breakfast.”
This Nurse Had To Gently Remind Her Patient That The Patient Isn’t Always Right
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“So I am Venezuelan, born and raised, and Spanish is my first language. However, I learned English at a really young age, so when I speak it I don’t have an accent. Also, I look white. As in, my skin is fairer than most of my American friends, and I’m somehow always the palest in the room.
Anyway, I work as a nurse, and if the patient and family speak English to me, I don’t assume they know Spanish and usually will just work in whatever language they are comfortable. This is Houston, and there is a surprisingly large number of people who look Hispanic and don’t speak any Spanish.
Once I had a gentleman in his 30s and his family asked me to clean him up (give him a bed bath). He was completely able, just a bit weak, so I thought it was a little odd, but nonetheless figured it was a good chance to change his linens, clean him up, and make sure his skin was intact.
I cleaned him down from head to toe, washed his hair, changed his sheets, put lotion on his feet, gave him a new gown, compression stockings, and safety socks. There is one area I draw the line, however. If the patient is completely awake and able, I will hand them a moist cloth to clean their own private parts with. I’m not even asking them to reach around, just do the front!
I did such with this gentleman, and he looked at the cloth and set it down next to him. He picked up his cell phone, called his wife (who was right outside the room) and asked her to come in. Then he proceeds to tell her, in Spanish, ‘Clean me up because this lazy girl doesn’t want to do it.’ Wife cleans his private parts and then leaves me to finish everything else, which I do.
When I let the family know I am done and they all come back in the room, I very politely tell him, in Spanish (this is the first time they are hearing me speak Spanish) ‘I apologize for leading you to believe I was lazy and did not want to clean you up. Just remember you’re going to have to learn to do it because I’m not coming home with you when you get discharged.’ Both the patient and his family were too shocked to reply. I just told them, in English, ‘Press the call button if you need anything else,’ and left. It was a nice quiet night from them.”
This Couple Learned A Tough Lesson
“My other language I speak is Hungarian, which is really obscure and not related to any other language beyond vague grammatical ties to Finish and Estonian, and there are less than 15 million native speakers (of which just under 10 million live in Hungary proper). So Hungarian speakers will often just assume it’s a ‘secret language’ when outside Hungary that no one else will understand, because 99% of the time it’s true.
That said, there are enough Hungarians in some places like San Francisco that it’s best to not assume this, and I overheard people quite a lot the summer I worked there. I remember for example hearing a couple arguing on a Saturday night in the grocery store, in the tone that normally you’d be having that argument at home but they assumed no one else understood them. I’ve overheard hugely emotional goodbyes and confessions in train stations and airports that likewise should have been at home. You really just sorta cringe and turn the music up loudly on your mp3 player because telling them to stop would just be more awkward for everyone involved.
My mom and dad had the best story like this though, when they were in Austria for their first Christmas as a married couple. Apparently at the table next to them at Christmas Eve dinner, there was a man by himself who had a German Shepherd, and he was letting the dog literally eat the food off his plate and all sorts of things like that.
So my mom spent the entire dinner complaining about this guy letting his dog do all these things in a restaurant in Hungarian. When he got up at the end of the meal, the man came over to their table and said the polite way of wishing someone a happy Christmas holiday in Hungarian.
Props to that guy, and props to my mom for telling this story to us as kids to not rely on our ‘secret language’ too much in public!”
“I Feel Sorry For Your Wife”
“My friend and I were sharing a cab with two girls we didn’t know. We decided to share a taxi with them, because it was a long way and we wanted to save some money.
They started speaking Swedish, not knowing my friend is also Finnish Swede (her mother language is Swedish, she has been in Swedish school, but is Finn and speaks Finnish fluently). I understand Swedish but I was too sloshed to care. Suddenly she texts me:
‘They are planning to leave us with the bill.’
I texted that we should tell the driver so my friend just said,
‘These girls will pay half of this, before they leave.’
He got the hint and didn’t open the doors before they paid.
Also another time I was in an airport with my aunt. She had broken her leg so she was in a wheelchair, but because we were going to a beach holiday, we decided not to cancel it. Now my aunt has lived in Germany and speaks it fluently, I’ve lived there too so I understand it well, but I’m not fluent. We speak Finnish, something just to pass the time when flight attendant asks us to go on the plane first. This middle aged man turns to her wife and says in German,
‘I don’t think disabled people should be allowed on planes.’
My aunt, who is a true icon, asks me to stop. I stopped pushing her wheelchair, and turns to the man and says in perfect German,
‘I’m sorry sir, but I broke my leg and didn’t want to cancel my holiday plans. You are being incredibly offensive towards handicapped people and I feel sorry for your wife. Have a nice flight.’
He turned red, couldn’t even say anything to us and just looked away. His wife looked mortified.”
Karma
“A few years back l was a vendor ticket agent for Continental Airlines In Nassau, the Bahamas. One afternoon we had two flights checking in around the same time. I don’t remember the flight numbers so I’ll make up two numbers 343 and 699. Flight 699 was going to close in 20 minutes while 343 closed in an hour. There was quite a line. Standard procedure for us in such instances was to call persons for the earlier flight to the front of the check in line.
I did so twice and my supervisor did so three times.
The last two times no one responded so we closed the flight and focused on 343. Shortly after my supervisor had asked for 699 passengers for the last time a family of four joined the line. I noticed them because I’d just come from getting a wheelchair for a passenger and almost bumped into one of the children on my way back to the check-in counter.
They got to the front of the line about 20 minutes AFTER flight 699 had closed. Turns out they were a French family with round trip tickets from Paris to Nassau. What they had done was purchase tickets from Nassau to Georgetown Exuma (another island) on a local carrier. Unfortunately, the flight from Georgetown was delayed which caused them to miss their flight to Newark.
There was a bit of back and forth between my supervisor and the father as he claimed he was in the line in time and did not hear any announcements. I told my supervisor that they were not and was able to pinpoint exactly when they joined the line. She even agreed because she was walking through the line herself and did not see them. Lest I forget, their English was impeccable so language wasn’t an issue.
Things were getting a little heated, but not necessarily rude; after all, no one wants to be stranded on the other side of the Atlantic in a country where your language isn’t spoken.
My supervisor was taking pity on them and was only going to charge the change fee ($300 in total) and not charge the fare difference which, as it was transatlantic and last minute, very expensive.
The son (about 15 years old) was standing right next mutters under his breath in French, ‘This dumb witch doesn’t know what she’s doing.‘ I looked up and asked him in French, too, exactly what he’d said.
He turned red and walked away to where his sister and mother were standing.
I turned to my supervisor and said, ‘Are you aware he just called you a dumb witch?’
His mother glared at him. Of course he claimed innocence: ‘I didn’t say that,‘ in French. I responded in French, ‘Yes you did say that. I may have bad eyes but I have exceptional hearing.’
My supervisor then says, ‘Oh, since I’m a dumb witch, I’m too dumb to help you,’ and walked off.
I ended up rebooking them but they ended up purchasing four new tickets which cost them about $5,000 on another airline as they would have missed the connection. KARMA.”
“She Began To Make Fun Of Me”
“I am Hispanic and fluent in both English and Spanish, and people often think I don’t speak Spanish.
So there was this one time I was at a laundromat folding clothes while these two Hispanic ladies were at a table across from me folding their clothes. Both of them are speaking loudly in Spanish so I couldn’t help but overhear what they were talking about. They start talking about drinks.
One of them said ever since she got married and had a kid she stopped drinking. The other chick was saying that she loved getting wasted and could not live without drinking to the point that she wanted a boyfriend so he could buy her drinks and take care of her kid.
Then they both start talking about their ideal boyfriend. One of them says that she is lucky to have found her husband because he is everything she wanted in a guy. The other chick was listing off a huge checklist of her perfect guy. He must be hot, must worship her, buy her everything, have an amazing job, clean, cook, take care of kids, and a million other things. She then is interrupted by her friend saying that she was never going to find her perfect guy with her list being so long.
She then turns and looks toward me saying, ‘What about a guy like him?’ Her friend immediately rejected that idea.
She then began to make fun of my clothes, hair, glasses, everything (I’m a pretty nerdy looking dude). She says how I look like a loser who is doing nothing in life, that I’m probably poor and won’t be able to buy her things, and more. I think to myself that this chick is quite rude and loudly reply in Spanish, ‘I wouldn’t be into a chick like yourself, because I wouldn’t want a lazy drinker for a girlfriend.’
She got silent and just stared at me. Her friend began to laugh uncontrollably.”
“A Woman Started Yelling At Him To Sit Down Or He Would Blow Their Cover”
“I’m half-white, half-Filipino. Nobody would ever believe I spoke Tagalog, so I get a lot of people speaking about me as if I can’t understand. Here are a few of my favorites.
I’m a bit heavy set and I was at a friend’s wedding which was predominantly Filipino. Anyways, I was in line at the dessert buffet and 2 of the people I was sitting with asked me to get them food as well. So I had 3 plates in my hand as I was waiting to get served and 2 Filipino ladies behind me said in Tagalog, ‘Look at this fat guy, he’s going to eat everything before we get there.’ I chuckled and shook my head, I didn’t bother confronting them since I have a bunch of aunties that would probably do the same thing.
Another time, I was helping a Filipino co-worker pick up some furniture she bought from a patio furniture place. Since I owned a truck she asked if I could help her. During this time everyone had Nextels, and you could do that direct connect thing that made the phones act like walkie-talkies. So she direct connects her husband telling her we’re on our way.
He replies in Tagalog, ‘Don’t let your co-worker in the house, he might steal something.’ Now this being on the speaker phone I heard the whole thing and she knew I spoke Tagalog and understood. Her face turned bright red and started yelling at her husband, ‘You stupid idiot, he speaks Tagalog!’
When we get to the house he acts like nothing happened, even invites me in for a drink. I politely said no and helped my co-worker unload the truck. She kept apologizing, she was so embarrassed.
Lastly, I was at Disneyland one time and we were on Main Street standing in the crowd waiting for the parade to go by. There is a section roped off in the for people with physical disabilities. I noticed there was a Filipino family in front of us, with a middle aged man in a wheelchair taking up the front row. As the parade started the man in the wheelchair got up and walked forward to get a better view.
One of the older women started yelling at him in Tagalog and told him to sit back down, or he would blow their cover. Apparently they got the wheelchair so they could cut in line and get special treatment.”
Stiffing The Rude Stylist For The Bill
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“I went to get my hair done at a Hispanic salon. When I walked in, I was greeted in English, so I responded in English and kept speaking English during my time in there. The woman doing my hair started talking to another stylist in Spanish. She was talking smack about me and who do I think I am coming to a Spanish salon because apparently in their twisted view, white people should only go to white salons.
Well, I’m Mexican, just light skinned.
I let her finish while she’d jump back and forth in conversations in English with me and in Spanish with the other stylist. I just let her keep talking smack. Once she was done, I got up, and in fluent Spanish, thanked her and told her I’d be sure to never come back. I walked out without paying. No one came after me.”
“She Ran Into The Shop And Hid”
“As a white female in China, I got talked about on a daily basis. Apparently, they see more male foreigners than females, and they always seem to assume I can’t understand them. I have a couple of especially memorable experiences.
“I was in a three-story mall that sold nothing but cell phone accessories and two of the clerks started fighting about not wanting to be the one who helped me. The female clerk spoke more English than the male clerk, so he made her follow me around. Then they started betting over whether I could understand them or not. Since the female had to basically stay within three feet of me, I made her follow me around the whole store without saying a word to them until the bet got higher and higher.
She thought I understood what was going on and was telling him they should stop and he thought I was just indecisive and stupid. The bet got to ¥200, which was like $40 USD when I finally said, ‘Hey, you can’t judge a person by their appearance. But you’re lazy and made her help me. She tells you to stop and you don’t listen. Now you owe her ¥200. You should help the next white person customer too’ before walking out. I don’t think either of them were expecting me to say anything at all and that it was going to sit as an idle bet, but the girl was pretty much dying of laughter when she realized she won.
Another time, I was in a smaller city with my fiance where there were less foreigners. A little girl with pigtails ran up to me with her finger pointed shouting, ‘Foreigner! Mom look I see a foreigner! You should sell her something 3 times the price!’
I turned around and shouted, ‘Hey baby look! It’s a Chinese person! I see a Chinese person! We better not go buy from that shop, she said she won’t give me a good deal!’
The little girl’s jaw completely dropped and she ran back into the shop so fast and hid. Her friends were laughing and teasing her and her mom, who was the shopkeeper laughed so hard she fell to her knees. Her mom told us they hadn’t seen a foreigner who spoke Chinese in over six months and that their Chinese was horrible. She’d been trying to teach her daughter a lesson for a while and she hoped that would finally do it.”
